In The Dark
by Elfendork
Summary: ABANDONED After a summer of abuse Harry is taken to Hogwarts by Snape. Will the Boy Who Lived get over the pain with the help of two cold hearted slytherins? !SLASH! Harry!Draco. Abuse. GRAPHIC
1. Tortured

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: I started this story because I was simply bored. I don't really know where its going _yet_. I got some things figured out but I'm still working on the plot. It's going to be a "Snape saves Harry from the Dursleys, opsie, look who suddenly cares.. It's Draco" fic. **SLASH! **DM/HP.

Warnings: This story had been rated "M"for **Language **and **Violence, **It might also contain things such as; **Cuttings. **It's very **Graphic **and if you don't like blood and agony, then I advice you to leave now. Sorry. **This story could at some times be very disturbing. **

Disclaimer: :Sigh:I do not own Harry Potter and the magic world around him, I never will, but I'll still have to keep writing these 'Disclaimers'. If I owned Harry Potter I wouldn't be sitting here right now, trying to remeber the capital of Cuba or whatever. What I mean is; Im just a poor, 13 year old swedish girl with way to much time on her hands; Don't sure.

* * *

"BOY! GET DOWN HERE!" Harry's Uncle Vernon shouted at the top of his lungs; Harry jumped off the bed, ignoring the piercing pain shooting through his entire body, and ran down into the kitchen where his furious uncle was seated at the kitchen table. Vernon's face had turned into a nasty shade of purple and the anger vein in his forehead was throbbing dangerously. Harry gulped, afraid of what was coming--his uncle had begun to beat him, saying that he was sick of Harry's abnormalities and freakishness--he would do anything to hurt his nephew. The beatings had progressed from slaps and pushes to hard-core beatings. Vernon would use anything at his disposal: his hands, his feet, and even his belt.

"Come closer, boy!" he ordered. Harry did as he was told. Vernon gestured for him to get even closer; nervously Harry took another step towards his uncle--he knew what was coming, and on cue, a sharp blow hit him hard across the face. Harry grabbed his cheek as it stung and turned red.

"Listen carefully, boy," Vernon growled. "Here's the list of chores. I want them done by the time I get home tonight. Is that clear?"

Harry nodded and grabbed the note from his uncle's beefy hand and glanced at it before gasping. The chores would take days to do; there was no way he could finish them all in one day. Vernon shot him a look daring him to say something, but Harry knew better and left the room to begin with the list--he needed all the time he could get if he was going to get anything done.

When he stepped outside into the yard to mow the lawn, the sun was burning, but Harry wiped the sweat of his forehead and got to work. When he was done with the grass, he began to paint the fence--he knew better than to do that before mowing the lawn--the grass would stick to the dried paint and Harry would get the worst beating of his life. It was bad enough that Vernon beat him for breathing, but if he gave his uncle an actual _reason_ to beat him, things would get tough.

After several hours of chores Vernon got home. Harry's body was bruised and damaged and he hadn't eaten for two days, so he thought that he had done one heck of a job--being starved had begun to effect him and thus the chores would take much longer to do. When Vernon went to check up on him, he was half done the list his uncle had left.

"LAZY BASTARD!" Vernon roared and hit Harry hard in the face. The boy fell down to the floor with a loud thump. "GET UP, YOU INGRATE!"

Harry slowly got to his feet; he didn't want to make his uncle any angrier.

"HAVE YOU DONE ALL OF YOUR CHORES!" his uncle shouted, even though he knew the boy wasn't. Harry shook his head 'no'.

"B-b-but, Uncle Vernon. I-I-I tried. I'm s-s-sorry," Harry stuttered, but was interrupted as another slap hit him across the face.

"TRIED! YOU PROBABLY JUST SAT AROUND LIKE THE LAZY RUNT YOU ARE!" Vernon grabbed his nephew by the collar and slammed him against the wall, pinning the slight boy.

"I'll make you scream," he whispered dangerously. Harry shuddered. Vernon smirked evilly at the fear in his nephew's green eyes. He pulled the boy up the stairs and threw him onto the bathroom floor. Dots began to cloud Harry's vision as he hit the hard tiles full force, and he realised that he wasn't wearing his glasses. He could hear water running and weakly lifted his head.

Hands grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him to his knees. It took Harry a few seconds to register that he was kneeling in front of the bathtub. Before he could do anything, a firm hand gripped him by the hair and forced his head down into the cold water. Harry didn't get the chance to take a breath before the water surrounded his head and he began to panic. He struggled with all his might to break free as the air left him; the cold water stung in his open eyes. Desperately Harry began to kick and squirm to get out of his uncle's grip. His vision was cloudy and he tried to breathe, but only inhaled water. He couldn't see, he couldn't breathe; Harry got another mouthful of water and his struggle ceased. He became weaker as the light embraced him. Everything surrounding him seemed distant--he felt nothing, he saw nothing but the faded stream of light.

_'Am I dying?' _Harry's eyes closed and he became limp. The hand gripping his hair shifted and pulled him up with a huge force; it dropped the boy as soon as he left the water, causing him to fall back on the cold floor. Harry's shirt was soaked through and transparent as he began to cough up water, and his breath came in small gasps. He was so weak he couldn't even move when his uncle came into his blurry view, and Harry could clearly see the smirk covering Vernon's face.

"Aaw..." the large man mocked him. "Didn't you like our little game?"

Harry whimpered and Vernon laughed evilly, grabbing both of the boy's arms and pulling him into Harry's bedroom. He let go and his nephew's arms fell down limp at each of his sides. Vernon then picked Harry up again and threw him on to the small bed in the corner of the room. There was a pair of manacles around the bedpost and Harry shuddered when he noticed them. His uncle grabbed his wrists and chained them to the bed. Harry began to struggle weakly but the chains held him tightly.

Vernon undid his belt, smirking evilly, and Harry began to thrash and kick frantically. His uncle approached him, his belt raised in the air, and brought it down onto Harry's chest. The imprisoned boy's scream of agony filled the room followed by the sound of the belt once again coming in contact with flesh. Harry couldn't believe it, his sick uncle was whipping him.

_'No, you just don't want to believe it,'_ a small voice whispered in his head. He flinched in pain.

The boy lost count of the number of times the belt hit him. Only a couple of seconds later, the blood began to flow freely down his chest--his shirt had been ripped open and was smothered in fresh blood.

The piercing pain increased with every lash, as his skin was slashed open repeatedly. Red marks were covering his pale skin, hidden under the blood streaming down over his stomach and dripping on to the white sheets, creating a sickeningly large red puddle. Vernon became tired of the belt and threw it aside. He began to search through his pockets and pulled out a big knife.

Tears were streaming down Harry's face; the pain in his chest was insufferable, he couldn't see anything at all now, the sharp pain in his chest increased as Vernon brought down the knife against his sensitive skin. He cut slowly across Harry's flesh and enjoyed the look of blood slowly flowing down his nephew's body: pretty, red, thick blood, slowly running down the boy's red and slashed chest, making its way down to his pale stomach, mixing with the sweat. Harry screamed, but his cries fell on deaf ears. The cut made it harder for him to breathe and soon the screams died out. Vernon lifted the knife--the cut was deep enough to be fatal and he knew it.

Sobs and whimpers escaped the weak boy's mouth. Vernon smirked and looked down at his work, satisfied at the evidence of how much pain he could cause a human being--someone so pure...so innocent.

"You had it coming, freak. You deserve everything that's happened to you," the man whispered dangerously to his helpless victim. Tears were running down the boy's cheeks and falling on the already bloodstained sheets.

Vernon stood up. He threw down the knife where it landed not far from his discarded belt and made to leave the room. The boy was still sobbing quietly. Vernon turned around and hit him hard in the face; he spat on the bloodied body and left the room, laughing like a mad man.

Harry felt the life leaving him as everything began to turn black, his vision getting darker, the darkness embracing him. He couldn't register what just had happened and just lay there; his thoughts began to drift away as he felt the darkness taking over.

'_He couldn't die like this, die at the hands of his muggle uncle. He couldn't leave the world like this, there were so many things he wanted to say before he left, so many things he wanted to do, _had_ to do..._

_'He wanted to say good bye to his friends...tell them how much he loved them...he had to write a will...he had to...'_

Darkness clouded his vision, he couldn't see

_'...destroy Voldemort...he needed to see Hogwarts one last time...'_

He began to feel lightheaded...

_'He had to fulfil the prophecy...he had to protect his friends...he had to _live_...he didn't want to die...'_

Darkness took over and devoured him

Silence filled the room. The only thing that was heard was the soft whisper in the air as a piece of parchment slowly fell down to the floor, filled with final, unheard words written in blood.

* * *

Severus Snape walked down Privet drive, searching for the house of Harry Potter--he had been sent there by Albus Dumbledore. Potter's friends had been worried because he hadn't sent them a letter for four days, even though he promised to write every three.

'_Clearly a call for attention_,' he thought derisively. Snape knew Potters. They were spoiled little brats, always looking for attention. '_What could have happened at Privet Drive? Potter was probably spoiled beyond all hope at his muggle relatives house.'_

Snape stared at the cookie-cutter houses, with their pristine fences and their perfect little gardens; everything looked exactly the same. It was sickening.

Soon he found the house he was looking for: Number 4, Privet Drive. He rang the doorbell and waited. Loud thumps were heard from within the house, coming closer and closer to the door, and then suddenly, it burst open revealing a fat blond boy, with pink cheeks and small piggy eyes. At the sight of Snape's clothes, the boy paled visibly.

"D-D-Dad!" the boy shouted, stuttering. "It's o-o-one of those f-f-reaks!" A large man with almost no neck came thundering out of the kitchen, his face purple with rage. He stepped up in front of Snape.

"We don't want you _freaks _here," he spat right into the shocked face of the potions master. "Never come back." He made to slam the door shut, but Snape quickly held out a hand and stopped it from closing.

_' "Freaks"? What did he mean by that? He couldn't mean wizards, could he?' _Snape cleared his throat, settling his glare firmly in place. "I'm looking for Harry Potter," he said, trying to sound as calm as possible, but it was hard to control his anger while facing the man who had insulted him and his world.

"There is no Harry Potter here," the fat man growled. "Now, if you could move your ha.."

Snape pulled out his wand and pointed it in the insolent man's face. "I don't think you understand. I am here to see Harry Potter. I will not move, and I'm not _going_ to move until you let me in. Get! Out! Of! My! Way!" Snape was beyond furious. _'How dare this _muggle_ lie to him!'_

Loosing his anger, he flicked his wand and the man shot backwards until he was pinned against the wall at the far end of the hallway. The younger blond boy cringed and ran to the kitchen as Snape stopped to look around. Covering the walls were pictures of the fat boy and who Snape could only assume were his parents--not a single sign of the scrawny Potter boy was in sight. Snape blinked.

'_Perhaps he was in the wrong house? But Dumbledore said that this was the place.'_ Snape's frown deepened, and he walked up the stairs searching for Potter's room.

The first room was the master bedroom--it too was filled with pictures of the fat child--, the second room was a huge bedroom filled to the brim with all sorts of muggle toys and other contraptions. Snape figured that this was Potter's room, but decided to search the rest of the house for the boy himself. He stopped in his tracks as he spotted a door with several locks on it--surely _this_ couldn't be Potter's room.

Alohamora,"Snape said, the locks opening with a series of soft clicks. The potions master put his hand on the doorknob and turned. He slowly pushed the door open, but was not prepared for what was waiting behind it. As he walked into the room he was hit by a wave of emotions: hatred, fear, and pain. The smell of blood hit him hard, making his stomach curl. The room was dark, and Snape raised his wand.

"Lumos."The sight that met his eyes made him gasp: in the small room there was nothing more than a desk and a small bed in the corner. On the floor there was a belt stained with dried blood, and a knife, also bloody. Snape noticed that something was moving on the little cot; he got closer and could see a little shaking figure hidden under a ragged blanket. Snape slowly removed the blanket and then took a few steps back--under it lay the hero of the magical world, bruised and broken.

"Oh, sweet Merlin," Snape muttered, in a mixture of shock and disgust. The boy was chained to the bed and his wrists were bleeding because of the pressure put on them; blood was trickling down his arms and on to the bed. His chest was even worse--he was wearing a too-large tee-shirt, shredded beyond repair and stained with both fresh and dried blood; under it could clearly be seen harsh red lines, some still bleeding, but the worst of the wounds was the large cut across his chest, fresh blood was still running from his torso and down onto the bed, creating a puddle of far too much blood. Snape suddenly realised that the boy wasn't breathing and began to panic.

"Bloody hell," he cursed and took a step closer to the boy--he needed to stop the bleeding. He stopped as he heard something under his right foot. He bent down and picked up the parchment; there were words written in dried blood.

_'The last will and testament of Harry James Potter,' _he read. Snape felt his throat sting; that child had written a will, truly believing that he was going to die.

_'If you are reading this, I can only assume that you are the one who found me. I don't really know what to say--there is so much I didn't get to say and do before I was ripped away from this world. First of all, I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting you down, letting everyone down. I know that I am a disappointment; hell, I couldn't even fight off my own uncle. He is the reason that I'm here, dying. He accomplished something that Voldemort dearly wished to but couldn't-- he broke me. I felt like I was falling, falling deeper in to the well of death, away from the world of the living, away from my own life, leaving everything and everyone behind. _

_'I'm sorry, my friends, for making you deal with this pain on top of everything else. I'm sorry, Dumbledore, that I couldn't stop Him...stop Voldemort. I'm sorry, everyone, for all the pain that I've caused you...my parents...Cedric...Sirius. I accept responsibility for their deaths, and I guess this is the price for that lack of foresight. _

_'I wish that I didn't have to live with this destiny. I'm afraid I was not strong enough to do what I was supposed to do. I'm sorry because you deserve a better and stronger hero then me, someone who can live up to the expectations of the world, someone you could be proud of, someone you could love and admire. All I ever wanted was to grow up with a family, with all the love and support that entails. Instead, I grew up unloved and unwanted, taken in by people who felt they had no choice in accepting me. Then, when I found out that I was a wizard, I thought that maybe this would be the chance I had always wanted but never had, but even then I was a freak--eternally separate from everyone else because of who I was and what I had done, but did not remember--put on a pedestal by one side, and hunted by the other._

_'Now, I wish to thank all those who have made my life worthwhile._

_'Ron--you were my first and best friend, we've gone through so many things together. You've always been there for me. I wouldn't have gotten far without your friendship, you have no idea how much you mean to me...brother. To you, I give my invisibility cloak. Keep the adventures coming, and take care of Hermione. _

_Hermione--you are the closest thing to a sister I've ever had and I love you. I may not say it a lot, but I do. Dont ever forget or doubt that fact. You'll make it without me, you are strong, stronger than I ever was. Remember that you can do anything, Hermione Granger, and that I have always believed in you. To you, I give my wand, and my owl, Hedwig. She is strong, just like you. _

_Mrs. & Mr. Weasley--you have taken care of me like the parents I never had. You made me feel like I was part of your family; you made me feel loved and you didn't have to. For that you have my thanks. Mrs. Weasley, you gave me first real hug I ever remember getting, and I thank you for that memory. To you and your family, I leave the entire contents of my vault at Gringotts. I can think of no one who deserves it more. Thank you again for everything you have ever done for me. _

_Remus--I know that you blame yourself for Sirius death. Please don't. It was all my fault and I have received my punishment. I thank you for being the best Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher we ever had at Hogwarts, and for everything else you have ever taught me about fighting and my parents and life. I return to you the marauders map. I think that you should be the one to choose the next owner._

_Fred, George, Bill, Charlie, & Ginny Weasley--thank you guys for everything, you were like a family to me. I hope that you will all have a good life. Fred & George, keep going with the joke shop, it will be a hit. And like a said--everyone could use a good laugh right about now. Ginny, good luck in life and in anything you do. You are strong just like your brothers. I know you all will make it through this war._

_Please, don't mourn my death I am not worth it._

_Harry James Potter_

Snape was shocked as he felt salty tears pour down his cheeks and drip to the floor. He put the note in his pocket and turned back to the boy, now more determined than ever to help him. He released the handcuffs gently, and put on of his arms under Harry's knees and the other one under his back. After he made sure that he was supporting the boys neck, he slowly lifted him up and apparated away.

Seconds later, the door to Harry's room burst open again, and a very angry Vernon Dursley stepped inside. When he saw that the boy was missing, he growled angrily, turning to leave. But suddenly, he stopped and all the anger left his face as he paled. For there, written plainly on the wall, in the bright red blood he himself had spilled from his nephew were written three words.

_I'll be back._


	2. The Hospital Wing

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: The second chapter, I've gotten more reviews then I've ever gotten before :O Thank you. I hope you'll like the next chapter as well, I **KNOW **my chapters are really cheezy, but whatever :P Im a corny little bastard. I accedently erased this entire chapter and had to rewrite it xD Im such an little cluts some times, it was really hard work and now im finally done.. You better like it..

Warnings: This story had been rated "M"for **Language **and **Violence, **It might also contain things such as; **Cuttings. **It's very **Graphic **and if you don't like blood and agony, then I advice you to leave now. Sorry. **This story could at some times be very disturbing. **

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, you can call JK Rowling and ask her if you want, tell her Sofie says 'hi'. She'll tell you that it all belongs to her, not to me. Glad we got that figured out.. So.. Don't sue okay? Im just a poor.. poor girl, with very much time on her hands. I should use that time to do my homeworks, but God.. It's just so darn boring.

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Chapter Two: The Hospital Wing

"Severus what is it?" Dumbledore asked, as the black haired man came running into the big castle called Hogwarts, he didn't notice the little bundle of rags in his arms. The man panted heavily and said between gasps;

"Those.. stupid.. bastards" Dumbledore stared at the man in confusion, but then he realized what he meant, the twinkle in his eyes disappeared, and could not be seen anymore at all.

"We got to go to the hospital wing" Snape said as he got his breath back. "Quickly, it doesn't look good." Dumbledore nodded, Snape began to run with Harry in his arms as fast as he could without making any further damage to the fragile child.

"Poppy" He called as they reached the hospital wing. "Poppy, hurry up" A witch came into the room with a worried look on her face, she didn't know what could be this urgent, it was summer and there were no students at Hogwarts who could have gotten hurt. She gasped at the sight of the bloody bundle in Snape's arms.

"Is.. Is that a person?" She asked, Snape nodded, ran over to the closest bed in the corner of the room and put down Harry on the bed, he pulled away the blanket and exposed his bruised form, Poppy gasped loudly again, and Dumbledore's eyes were glazed over.

"I made a misstake" He muttered. Poppy ran out of the room and came back only second later with a small vial, containing some red liquid.

"For the blood loss" She mumbled as she ran over to Harry, she gently lifted his head and poured down the liquid in his mouth, she began to rub his thoat to get him to swallow it and turned around to the two men in the room, she looked at them like she just had seen them for the first time.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I NEED TO DO THIS ALONE, LEAVE!" She cried. "I'll tell you when I'm done, now go" Dumbledore and Snape both nodded and left the room to contact the order, Harry's friends needed to be informed.

Two hours later a very tired looking Madame Pomfrey stepped out of the hospital wing where, Dumbledore, Snape, Hermione, Ron, Fred, George, Ginny, Mrs Weasley and Remus were waiting patiently. Remus was sitting on the floor leaning back against the wall, with his head in his hands, he quickly stood up.

"How is he?" He asked, his eyes were bloodshoot from crying, when everyone in the room had heard of what had happened they hadn't been a dry eye in sight. Madame Pomfrey smiled weakly.

"He will be fine, his jaw was broken, he has large lashes over his chest, bruises are covering almost his entire stomach, chest, legs and arms and he has a larg cut across his chest, the bruises will go away in a couple of days, with a special treatment, he will be sore and the cut might hurt for awhile, and also he might feel really tired after about two weeks after he wakes up, he is a coma right now, but he will live." She said, Fred let out a sigh in relief, he couldn't describe how happy he was that Harry was going to live.

Snape looked relieved but quickly put back on that sour mask on his face. He didn't want people to think that he cared.. Because he didn't.. Or did he? He felt pure hatred against those muggles, he hated child abusers, it made him think of his childhood, he didn't think anyone deserved pain like that. He can't believe how wrong he had been about Harry, he had always thought that he was a spoiled brat. He laughed bitterly 'fine' he was going to be fine?

"What?" Fred growled and shoot the man a look of pure disgust and hatred. Snape sighed in frustration.

"That boy has lived through weeks of torture, he might be fine pshysically but really don't you think it will cause him to mental damage?" He growled through clenched teeth. He couldn't believe how these people would think that everything would be great once he woke up, Snape had seen some pretty unpleasant things, people going paranoid and such.

"What do you mean?" Ron snapped angrily. Snape looked at him like was stupid.

"I'm saying that Ha-Potter might not be as _fine _as you think" He spat. Ron took a step closer to the man, his eyes were shimering with tears and his ears were burning red with anger.

"WHY DO YOU CARE ANYWAY?" He roared. "YOU PROBABLY WANT HIM DEAD"

"Shh." Madame Pomfrey pointed at the door. "I've got a patient, even though he is in a coma doesn't mean that he is not affected by his surroundings." Snape turned his gaze back to the red-headed boy, he blinked and pulled out the piece of parchment from his pocket, a single tear slid down his cheek.

"Don't say that I don't care" He growled, he threw down the parchment on the floor and left, the black cloak fluttering behind him. Everyone stared at him, but then turned their attention to the note on the floor. Fred walked over to inte and picked it up.

"The last will of Harry James Potter" He read for everyone to hear. Remus started and took three big steps over to the boy, he grabbed the note from his hands and began to read it, when he was finished new tears were flowing freely down his cheeks, he was shaking and backed up against the wall, he dropped the piece of parchment on the floor and slid down against the wall untill he was seated on the floor. He pulled his legs against his chest, sobbed loudly and burried his face in his knees.

"Oh my god, Harry" he muttered. "Ohmygod, Harry. I'm s-s-orry"

"What?" Hermione cried frantically, she went to get the note but Fred snatched it from the floor.

"The last will of Harry James Potter" He repeated, he continued to read the note out loud. "Don't mourn my death.. I'm not worth it.. " He finished, everone in the room was crying at the end, Fred brushed away some tears from his eyes and sat down on the floor i front of Remus.

George growled angrily and slammed his fist against the hard wall, he let out a little yelp in pain and frustration as his knuckles began to bleed.

"Damn!" He shouted. "Oh my god.. Harry.. HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DIE!" Tears from anger and sorrow fell down to the floor. "DAMN THOSE MUGGLES" Poppy ran over to him and with a little flick of her wand his hand had healed, she sobbed quietly.

"I can't believe how anyone would do that to a child." She muttered, she had never admitted it but she had always had an soft spot for Harry, almost every teacher had, he was so pure and brave. "He didn't deserve it"

Mrs Weasley let her tears fall openly, she stared at the door to the hospital wing.

"When can we see him?" She asked. "I just want to hold him" After that note she just wanted to comfort him in her arms and tell him how much she loved him and how much he meant to all of them.

"Well.." Poppy said. "He is in a coma, but two of you can go and see him, you must stay calm though, his body needs the peace and rest. He will wake up when his body is ready for it." Hermione and Ron stepped forward.

"We want to s-s-ee h-h-him.." Ron whispered. "W-w-we are his b-best friends." he wiped away a tear from his cheek and grabbed Hermione's hand.

"Can we?" She asked.

"Of course you can" Madame Pomfrey said, she lead the two of the into the hospital and pointed at a bed in the corner, the hangings were pulled over and was hiding the bed, Poppy stepped over there and pulled away the curtains exposing the slight form of Harry Potter.

Hermione gasped at the sight of her damaged and fragile friend, his creamy white skin looked even paler with the dark raven hair, under his eyes there were dark shadows, his face and neck was covered in black and purple bruises, some of them looked like handprints. He was wearing a white PJ and it was covering the damages on his chest, he was snuggled deep into the covers of the bed and his chest was raising up and down with every breath, he looked so fragile but still so peaceful.

She sat down on his side and took his hands, letting more tears fall. Poppy smiled sadly at the sight, Ron pulled out a chair next to Hermione and put an comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Try to talk to him" Madame Pomfrey said, the both teens stared at her in confusion. "He might not be awake, but that doesn't mean that he can't hear you" Hermione nodded, she gently squeezed Harry's hand, waiting for an respond, but sobbed quietly as she didn't get any.

"Hey there mate" Ron said. He looked down at his friend and smiled weakly. "You gotta wake up soon, so we can play quidditch, yeah we'll go flying, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" He laughed softly and turned away. "I feel really stupid, you know" He said to Hermione. She shook her head.

"Don't" She whispered and turned back to Harry. "Hi Harry, we miss you. Remember what you wrote in that letter? You said that you loved me, did you mean it? Because you do know that.. That we love you too right? yeah, we love you.. I love you, Harry... And.. And I can't live without you, I can't do anything without you, you are our strength, I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you.. But you'll be fine.. and thats all that matters.." She dried her eyes. "I won't cry no more, everything will work out."

"So you think he will be fine?" Ron asked in a whisper, Hermione smiled weakly.

"Of course he will" She said. "He is the boy-who-lived"


	3. The Awakening

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: **37 reviews. **Wow! That's great, thank you guys. SO much ;D I hope you all will like this next chapter. The song in this chappie is; Evanescence - Field of Innocene.. Oh, BTW like i said before** I KNOW** that my chapters are corny :P I didn't like how this one turned out, I made it way too cheezy. This chapter is dedicated to **oOo The Skittle Queen oOo** ;) I kinad got the idea from her review!

Warnings: This story had been rated "M"for **Language **and **Violence, **It might also contai**oOo The Skittle Queen oOo**n things such as; **Cuttings. **It's very **Graphic **and if you don't like blood and agony, then I advice you to leave now. Sorry. **This story could at some times be very disturbing.**

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley, Draco Malfoy or the other characters in the Harry Potter series. They all belong to the bloody brilliant JK Rowling. So don't sue me, I'm just a poor 13-year old swedish girl with way to much time on her hands.. And besides this is so much more fun then homeworks.. I mean seriously.. Who will ever need math IRL anyways:P

_(Warning: This chapter is really, REALLY cheezy.. Hey, desperate housewives is on.. I'll just.. write this chapter later.. It'll be cheezy though) >:) _

* * *

Chapter Three: The Awakening

_"I Love You.." _

Harry tried to open his eyes but couldn't find the strength, he tried to speak but no words were coming out of his mouth, he tried to move but it felt like something was holding him back down onto the soft bed where he was lying. He couldn't see anything but the eternal white light surrounding him.

Voices.. Voices were whispering in the air..

_"Come back.." _

The words echoed in his mind, they filled him up, made him feel safe, made him feel loved. A warm sensation shoot through his body in small waves, making his every muscle relax. The soft wind was brushing against his skin, blowing in his hair.

_"I need you.." _

The soft whiperings were going through his head, giving him comfort. Nothing made sense, Harry was simply existing, listening to his surroundings. Time didn't mean anything, peace took over his body. He wanted to open his eyes, what was hidden in the light shining through his eyelids? What could be seen beyond? He felt rested, the light devoured him, making him a part of it, but it was nice, it was healing.

"_It will be okay.." _

It will be okay, everything will be fine. Harry's body felt light, it felt like he was floating, he tried to move, he wanted to explore the light.Was he dead?  
He didn't feel dead.. But how did you feel when you were dead? Everyone always said that the other side was a peaceful place, a place where time didn't matter, a place where the pain simply ceased. Was this heaven? Had he crossed over?

A song.. Someone was singing, a soft beautiful feminime voice swept through the air. Was it an angel?

_I still remember the world  
From the eyes of a child  
Slowly those feelings  
Were clouded by what I know now_

That voice it was so familiar.. So comforting.. The beutiful song grew more clear and soon it was like somsone was singing in Harry's ears.

_I still remember the sun  
Always warm on my back  
Somehow it seems colder now_

Harry wanted to hear more, he wanted to see the person who sang it, he wanted to now.. He _had_ to know.

_Where has my heart gone  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything _

I still remember.

_"I Love You" _The song had stopped and those three little words ran through Harry's head.

He tried to move, it seemed like the white light was fading, it was like he was being pulled away from it. Feelings came rushing back to him, he felt tired and sore. He felt something soft on his hand, one of his fingers flinched under the touch and a soft gasp to his right was heard.

"I love you too" He whispered, his voice was hoarse. Another soft gasp was heard this time from Harry's left. Everything was dark, he slowly opened his eyes, two blurry figures were standing on each of his sides. Harry blinked and tried to focus, he could see a redhead leave his side, a brown-haired girl stared at him, lightly squeezing his hand. He moved his finger down against the girls hand softly, only brushing gently against her skin, but it was enough for her to burst into tears.

"Harry.." She whispered. Harry knew that voice, it was Hermione his best friend. He tried to smile, but the only managed to move his mouth in something that looked like an flinch. His chest was hurting and he didn't know why, his throat felt dry and his body heavy. He was cuddled deep down into a big soft pillow. The only thing that was heard was the soft sobs from Hermione, happy tears were flowing down her face, after so much of sorrow, thing looked like things would work out fine.

Harry was to weak to move, he closed his eyes as the door to the hospital wing where he was staying opened and the boy with red hair came rushing in with another older witch. She was holding something in her hand but Harry couldn't make out what it was, he felt his head being lifted and something warm was poured down his throat. He tried to swallow the liquid in his mouth, but the muscles in his face wouldn't alow it, he began to choke and panic, he didn't know where the panic came from when memories came back into his mind. Vernon.. Bathtub, he rembered the feeling of water filling his lungs as the light embraced him.

He tried to struggle but he was to weak, his magic was out of control, his feelings were raging, he was freaking out. A vase of flowers on the table in the other end of the room exploaded. He felt someone rubbing his throat and the liquid made it's way down to his stomach, at once Harry felt a warm feeling spread through his veins, making the pain in his chest disappear and he didn't feal so tired anymore, still weak he began to whimper.

He could hear voices try to calm him down but he didn't react to them.

"We need to do something" He heard Hermione say frantically. "Harry.. Shh.. It's okay." The older witch ran out of the room and reappeared second later.

"Calming draught" She explained to the two teens in the room, Ron Weasley were staring at his best friend in shock, he had never seen him like this before, he was so weak and fragile, not that he wouldn't have been any different if what had happend to Harry had happend to him. It was just strange, he never thought that Harry would be this way, but he never thought that his uncle would have done those things to him either. He knew that Harry's relatives didn't like him but he never knew that it was this bad.

The same thought went threw Hermione head, she couldn't believe how anyone could do that to someone so pure, Harry was like a brother to him and she wanted to make sure that whoever caused him pain like this would be punished.

The older witch, madame Pomfrey once again poured down a potion in the boy's mouth, she made him swallow it and eventually he calmed down. He lay there, not moving, his eyes were dull and emotionless, the memories had stopped, he wasn't thinking at all.

"He'll feel calmer now, but don't stress him, if you give him any reason to panic the potion will wear off" she said. "Try to talk softly with him, show him comfort." Hermione nodded, she sat down again next to Harry's bed and smiled weakly. Ron followed her example. The girl put her hand nn Harry's in a loving gesture but frowned as he flinched from the touch.

"Why does he do that?" She whispered.

"I don't know" Madame Pomfrey said, looking worried. "I've never delt with childs who has been abused. Maybe this was something Snape was tal-" She stopped for a second at the look of Ron's face. "Talking about.." She finished.

"Stop talking about Snape, he doesn't care for anyone" The redhead growled. He noticed the almost sleeping boy flinch from the anger in his voice and stared down at his feet ashamed of himself.

"Ron.." Hermione shoot him an warning glance. "Calm down"

"Hermione" Harry croaked, earning everyones attention. "Did.. D-d-did you mean it?"

"Mean what, Harry?" She asked softly.

"Do you.. really l-l-love.. me?" He whispered.

"You know I do, Harry" Hermione smiled.

"Okay" he spoke softly. "Cause y-you know.. I love y-you too?" Hermione's smile grew wider.

"I know"


	4. Snapes Meeting With The Dursleys

**- In The Dark - **

Authores Ramble: The last chapter was pretty short, I'm planning on making up for it now. This is Snape, giving the Dursley's a piece of his pissed off mind. ;) It's from his POV. Thank you all of my reviewers, although I haven't got any for the last chapter since I published it for like.. 2 minutes ago. I thought that I should continue right away since the last one took so long to write. I'VE GOT 43 REVIEWS NOW. (I wrote the last part, when I had finsihed this chapter.) :P

Warnings: This story had been rated "M"for **Language **and **Violence, **It might also contain things such as; **Cuttings. **It's very **Graphic **and if you don't like blood and agony, then I advice you to leave now. Sorry. **This story could at some times be very disturbing. **

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. YeY! Some of you guys maybe saw that I wrote something about, 'trying to remember the capital of Cuba for a test'I GOT AN MVG (the highest grade in sweden) YEAAH! xD Anyways.. erm.. Don't sue.

(**Extra Warning:** This chapter contain graphic torture and blood.)

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Chapter Four: Snapes Meeting With The Dursleys

He simply couldn't believe it. Stupid Weasley, who the hell did he think he was? Just because he wasn't a perfect little Gryffindor, it didn't mean that he didn't care. Snape sighed loudly as he stepped into his office, slamming the door shut with a loud thump. Those fucking muggles, Snape hated child abusers, memories of his own childhood went through his mind but he shock it off. _Get rid of all you emotions, clear your mind, _he told himself. He wasn't going to live through the hell that he had been put through for so many years.

Snape grabbed an vial from one of the shelfs behind his desk and threw it against the stone wall in fury, it shattered into a million pieces and the green liquid within slowly slid down the wall and dripped to the floor, smoke rose from the puddle and melted away in the air. The anger was impossible to get rid of, he needed to hit something, he needed to hurt someone, and he knew who those _someones _were.

Dumbledore would never allow it, he knew it, but he couldn't care less. Those people couldn't treat a child like that thinking that they would get away with it. Jail would not cut it, they had to suffer, like that poor boy had. Snape shuddered, had he just refered Potter as a 'poor boy'? He sat down behind his text and rubbed his temples, he was so confused. He had always hated Potter_.. James_ Potter, because of who he was, he had everything, everything Snape wanted - Caring friends, he was popular, good-looking and he had loving family. They would do anything for their little boy, a spoiled brat, that was what he was according to Snape. He had been jealous of his family, he thought that Harry also was treated like a king at his relatives house. He had been wrong, he had misjudged him.

Snape stood up, he walked over to the fireplace in the other side of the room, he grabbed the small pot on the table right next to it. He grabbed a handfull of the floo powder in it and threw it into the dazzling fire. It turned into a beutiful green colour and sparked lively. Snape stepped into it, the flames licked his body, but it didn't hurt. It almost felt soothing as the green fire danced around him, the warmth surrounding him. He cleared his throat and said loud and clear:

"Privet Drive 2" The fire began to move faster and faster, it grew and soon it covered his entire body. Snape felt the warm sensation as the fire devoured him. He began to feel light and in a swirl he disappeared in a wave of flames. As soon as the man left the room, the fire settled down again and turned back into its natural orange colour.

The man wearing black stepped out of the big fireplace, he was standing i a cozy living room with wooden floor. On a red armchair there was a grey cat, sleeping peacefully. Snape scowled, he had never really liked cats, an older women stepped into the living room from the other side of the room, she was holding another cat close to her chest, looking down at it lovingly. Too concentrated on her cat the women didn't notice the man in the room. Snape cleared his throat, Mrs Figg started and lifted her head, she smiled slightly at the sight of the man.

"Hello Severus" She said, she bent down and put down the cat on the floor. She sat down at a matching red couch and gestured for Snape to do the same. She had always liked him, she trusted him like Dumbledore did.

"I wont be staying" Snape said. "I have some important buisness to take care of." Mrs Figg paled, she had of course heard of the abuse going on in the house not far from her own, the Order had contacted her an hour after they had found Harry. She had been so blind, why couldn't she have checked up on him? She was supposed to help him.

"Don't do anything rash" She warned, giving him a stern look. "We all want justice, but we'll have to let the police deal with it.."

"The police!" Snape cried. "Those incompotent muggles with steal wands they use to kill each other? No way, I want those people hurt. I want them _dead_" With that he left the house and walked out in the garden, Mrs Figg stared after him, knowing that nothing could stop the stubborn man.

Snape walked down the familiar street towards the house where the Dursleys lived, this time he didn't have to look for it, he had been here before and knew exactly where it was. He walked up to the porch and took a deep breath to try to control his fury as much as he possibly could. There would be suffering before the day ended, Snape knew it. He didn't bother to knock, he flung the door open and stepped inside of the perfect little house.

He could hear people talk from the kitchen but the voices ceased - they had heard him. Snape growled angrily, now they were going to pay. He stomped into the kitchen, where the Dursleys were sitting at the table, eating dinner. They all stared up at him, a lock of fear pasted on their pathetic faces. Snape raised his wand, with a flick of it, Petunia and Dudley flew against the wall and stuck there, like they were held back by invisible chains. The fat boy let out a squeak and began to struggle, but it was useless, he was not going anywhere.

Snape turned to Vernon, a cold look on his face that would scare of Voldemort himself. The fat man with no necks face turned into a nasty shade of purple and a vein in his forehead was throbbing visibly. He stood up, Snape was surprise of how stupid this man was, a muggle, what did he think that he could do to him? To answer his question, Vernons fist shoot out, aimed at Snape's face, but it stopped in mid-air. Snape smirked and flicked with his wand while muttering some words.

Vernon's fist dropped to the side and he stared at the wizard in shock, he had put up an shield around him, it was impossible for the fat man to even touch him. With another flick Vernon was frozen at the spot, he growled angrily and tried to move his feet, but it was like they had been glued to the floor or something. Snape turned back to Petunia and Dudley, who both cringed in freight.

"I usually don't hurt women and children" He growled. "But I want you to at least feel the pain your nephew felt. He was only a child, an innocent child."

"Bullshit" Vernon roared. "He was a freak and deserved everything he got. I swore that I would force the magic out of him.." A sick grin spread over his face. "And I even had some fun doing it." Snape growled angrily and pointed his wand at Vernon, he could not hold back the rage anymore.

"Crucio" He yelled. Vernon fell down to his knees still bound to the floor, screaming in agony. His body was shaking violently and he began to cry, he couldn't deal with the pain. Snape stared hungrily at the pathetic form of Vernon who dared to call himself a man. The tears made him even more furious, that pathetic muggle was crying, _begging_ for mercy. He didn't deserve mercy, he deserved to suffer. Snape lifted the curse, he didn't want Vernon to go insane, that would be to get of easily, he wanted the torture to last.

"You'd do good to keep your fat mouth shut, filthy muggle."He growled. "You treated you nephew like a piece of shit! In our world Harry is an hero, you should worship him, crawl by his feet, you are not worthy of his company. That boy is one of the most respected wizards in the world and you shall pay."

He raised his wand and muttered something before anyone could react. A silver light burst out from the top and hit Vernon's exposed skin on his fat arm. He screamed in pain as the light lashed over him and left a deep cut. The thick blood prickled down his arms, to his hand down his fingers and slowly dripped to the floor without making a sound. Vernon sobbed as the blood kept staining the usually clean floor.

Snape used the same spell again, this time it hit the fat man right in the chest. His white t-shirt was ripped open by the spell and his shirt was stained with blood as another deep cut was created. Vernon screamed, held up his not damaged arm and tried in vain to stop the bleeding with his hand, the blood seeped through his fingers and dripped onto the floor, making small red spots. The other two Dursleys gasped loudy, Snape quickly turned around and pointed his wand at Petunia.

"YOU!" He roared. "You were supposed to protect him, he is your bloody nephew! YOU DON'T DESERVE THE NAME OF EVANS! Your sister was someone, you.. You are _nothing._" with a flick of Snape's wand and a few well chosen words Petunia began to shrink, hair began to grow on her entire body as she became smaller and smaller, her ears grew longer and her nose became sharper. Her clothes fell off as she was to small to fit in them, it looked like she had disappeared and there were only her clothes left on a messy pile on the floor, but something was moving below the blue shirt he had been wearing. A blond little mouse crawled away from under the clothes and ran towards the little cupboard under the stairs. Snape strode over to it and quickly gained on it, he lifted it by its tail and put it in an cookie jar, so she couldn't escape.

"One down, two to go" Snape muttered, Dudley whimpered as the mans gaze turned to him. "What to do about you then?" Dudley was shaking madly and stared down at his bleeding father, his breath was weak and came in small gasps. "Aaw, don't want me to do that to you to?" Dudley shook his head 'no' and shot Snape an pleading look.

"Like I said" Snape said between clenched teeth. "I don't hurt women and children.." Dudley glanced at the cookie jar and Snape laughed coldly. "I wouldn't count her as a 'women', no human being would do that to their own family, even I wouldn't do that to a child.. And I used to be a death eater, you have no idea of how many people I've tortured to death, I used to enjoy the screams.. Now I only hurt people, who _really_ deserves it.." He took a step closer to the boy and pressed his wand against his chest.

"Crucio" Snapes eyes held a dangerous glint and Dudley screamed in agony, it didn't take long before tears of pain were streaming out if his red, puffy eyes. Snape lifted the curse and the boy fell limp down to the floor, unconscious from the pain. The man smirked evilly, and turned his attention back to the main target. Vernon was still on his knees, clutching his chest, he was breathing weakly and blood dripped down from his knuckles.

"By the time I'm done with you" Snape growled. "You'll know what real pain feels like." Vernon turned his head to look Snape in the eyes, his look pleading and broken. Snape once again hit him with the cruciatus curse, but lifted it only second later. He smiled evilly and Vernon whimpered weakly on the floor.

"Sucrubus" Snape hissed, his wand only a few inches from Vernon's bloody chest. He screamed louder then ever before and clutched his torn t-shirt.

"Hurts doesn't it?" Snape growled. "Feels like your skeleton is on fire? Like your muscles are exploading? Like your organs are collapsing? Like you body is being ripped apart? Because it will.. And you'll cry and you'll beg, beg me for mercy. _Beg _me to kill you, but I wont, and slowly.. _slowly_ your body will collapse."

Vernon was shaking madly, still screaming in agony. He bent over and threw up on the blood stained floor. The scremings ceased as his lungs was filled with blood. He coughed up some of the red liquid and fell limp to the floor on his back. He could feel the blood flooding his body, his heart was aching and throbbing. Large cuts appeared on his body and the life drained out of his body.

Snape saw the man closing his eyes and smirked, he knew that Vernon was in insufferable pains. He could feel the mans life energy cease and knew that he had died. Satisfied with himself Snape left the little house at Prive drive, still grinning widely, he didn't even care that he had just used the cruciatus curse on a muggle child. If someone found out he would get sent to Azkaban at once.

He opened the door to Mrs Figg and stepped into the living room, the old lady had fallen asleep on the couch and one of the small cats had jumped onto her lap and were also sleeping quietly. He made his way over to the fireplace and grabbed some floo powder from his pocket, he knew that Mrs Figg didn't have any at her house so he had brought some extra. He threw it into the fire and it turned into that firce green colour. He stepped into the flames and said clearly:

"Hogwarts, Professor Snapes office" In a bright swirl the man disappeared from the peaceful house and appeared moments later in his office.

"You shouldn't have done that" Snape turned around and his face screwed up in anger as he met the gaze of the owner of the voice.


	5. Quarrels

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: Hi, I'm back again. :Ignores disappointed sighs: My fifth chapter and I don't hate the strory as I usually do, that's a good sign, it probably had to do something with all my wonderful reviews, I have 50 of them now :) Thank you guys SOO much, You've earned my love ;) :P Hope you'll like the rest! Happy readings. Sorry, my chapters are short and take a lot of time to write, but writing a story is hard work, its true. :P Thank you to my best friend, CaBla, I didn't know what to call this chapter and she helped me out ;)

Warnings: This story had been rated "M"for **Language **and **Violence**It's very **Graphic **and if you don't like blood and agony, then I advice you to leave now. Sorry. **This story could at some times be very disturbing. **It's also a **SLASH **but I don't think that it should affect the ratings, but _some _people find guy-guy relationships disturbing or whatever :Glares: _Don't flame me cause you've been warned._

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. don't sue I don't own anything. My freaky friend is watching me.. :S AAH! Don't know what to do.. She is glaring at me right now :O yupp.. she is dancing now, I think she is imitating this guy on the TV from a show called 'Floor Filler' swedish dancing show or whatever .. and now she is laughing because she saw what I wrote. :) Anyways.. got a little carried away.. I don't own Harry Potter. I just play around with the characters. ;)

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Chapter Five: Quarrels

Snape sighed in frustration and an dangerous glint appeared in his eyes. He knew that he shouldn't have used the cruciatus curse on a child. He admitted that he _had _enjoyed hearing the Dursleys screams in agony, watching their bodys shake in fright

"I did the right thing" He growled. "I couldn't let them get away with what they did." He met Dumbledores gaze and narrowed his eyes.

"The ministry would.." The older man began but Snape interrupted him;

"The Ministry! Those people can't do anything right, this was the right thing to d-.."

"What makes you think that you know what the right thing is?" Dumbledore asked calmly. "What makes you think that you know what is right for Harry? Do you think hurting his only living family is the answer?" Snape snorted angrily.

"_Family? _Family doesn't treat each other like that, they hate him! They always has! You saw the boy, some of those bruises has been there for weeks, this has been going on for a while and yet no one did anything to stop this from happening. Face it sir; You made a mistake, leaving him with those people."

"I realize that, Severus my boy" Dumbledore sighed. "But I did not kno-"

"YOU COULD HAVE CHECKED UP ON HIM" Snape shouted. "You just dumped him on the doorsteps to them, they could have killed him when he was a child and you didn't even bother to make sure that he was okay, you are so naïve, some people aren't that nice, you of all should know. I don't have time to discuss this with you, good day to you sir"

Snape walked past the older man and opened the door, he stopped with his left foot outsider and turned back to look at Dumbeldore.

"You have lost my respect" He said and slammed the door shut behind him, leaving the old man to his own thoughts. Snape growled angrily, why couldn't anyone understand? No one understood the pain, no one understood what could happened to people who had been abused.. Not untill you had dealt with it yourself. Dumbledore didn't know what he was talking about, he could have sent someone earlier to make sure that everything was okay.

_He only cares about Harry because of this war. _Snape thought angrily, he didn't start anymore when he realized that he had called the boy 'Harry'. _The muggles had it coming, I don't regret a thing. Dumbledore might not see it but this was the best thing to do. _He thought for a while where he should go, he usually spent most of his time in his office. He began to make his way down to the great hall when he bumped into someone slightly shorter then him.

"Watch where you are going, _Lupin_" Snape spat, shooting the man an angry look. Remus looked more ragged then ever, his hair was brown with grey strands in it, his brown eyes were bloodshot - a sign of lack of sleep, his clothes was torn and hung loosley down his shoulders.

"Im.. sorry.." Remus slurred. Snape raised one of his eyebrowns as he noticed that the man was slightly swaying.

"Drunk?" He asked. Remus blinked twice and stared sadly at Snape.

"I should've protected him." He muttered, still slurring, clutching his head. " 'M sorry. James.. Lily.. Sirius.." He sniffled and grabbed a close wall for support. Snape rolled his eyes and sighed. Why did he have to deal with everything?

"You are so pathetic" He snapped. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself."

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm sorry for Harry" Remus growled, now speaking pretty clearly, he raised his voice and took a shaking step closer to Snape. "Don't go and talk to me about feelings, you don't have a heart." Snape growled angrily, he was sick of people seeing him as an heartless death eater, yeah, he was an grumpy bastard but he _could_ feel for another human being.

"Watch your tongue, werewolf" He said through clenched teeth. "Or I might just cut it off"

"Are your threatening me?" Remus smirked, Snape took a step towards him, he knew that if Lupin weren't drunk he wouldn't have gotten himself into any kind of fights, he was the 'good boy'.

"What if I am?" Snape said, daring Remus to do something about it. With one quick movement the brown-haired man had grabbed Snape by the arm and pushed him against the hard wall. He pulled out his wand from his pocket and pointed it at Snapes face.

"I never really liked you" He growled. Snape sighed and pushed Remus away from him, the drunk man staggerd backwards and fell down to the floor with a soft thump, he groaned loudly, staying down. Snape noticed that the man had closed his eyes, he took a step closer and bent down to his level, Remus wasn't moving. Snape snorted as he heard a loud snore - he had fallen asleep.

"Stupid drunk" Snape muttered. "Doesn't know how to hold his liquor" He placed his arms under the thin man and slowly lifted him, he was surpringsly light and Snape had no problem carrying him all the way to the hospital wing. No one was left waiting outside of the room, Snape guessed that Harrys friends had either left Hogwarts or were wandering the halls like Remus had. He pushed the door open with his foot and put the sleeping man down on a bed, he turned around and could see a bushy brown-haired girl sitting next to someones bed, Snape wondered if Harry had woken up and walked over to Hermione. When he got closer he could also see the Weasley boy sitting on Harrys other side with ihs head on the bed, he had apperently fallen asleep. Snape could now see Harrys face, he gasped at the sight that met him, there he was, The-Boy-Who-Lived, big bruises were covering his pale skin, heavy circles lay under his closed eyes. Hermione started and turned around. "Oh.. Hello Professor" She said and turned her attention back to Harry.

"Erm.." Snape muttered, he had never been good with people, especially not in serious matters like these. "How.. is he?"

"He is getting better" Hermione said. "He woke up a couple of hours ago and fell asleep soon after that. He has been through some pretty tough things, madame Pomfrey said that he has to get as much rest as possible. She was shocked that he woke up so soon, some people stay like that for weeks, maybe even months." Snape nodded, not knowing what to say. It was a huge relief that Harry was going to be okey. Oh, there that thing again 'going to be okey'. Snape was still worried that Harry would suffer from angst or paranoia.

Madame Pomfrey came into the room with a big pillow in her arms, she nodded at Snape and walked over to Harrys bed, she lifted the boys head and placed it on the other pillow. Snape could clearly see the love in her eyes as she made sure that his head and neck was supported. She turned her attention back to Snape, she had not seen the sleeping man on the bed on the other side of the room.

"What are you doing here, Severus?" She asked. "Harry needs to rest, I don't want you to disturb him" Snape nodded.

"I just brought Lupin here" He said and shot glance at the bed where he was lying. "He has done some serious drinking and I thought that it would be best to bring him here.. Not that I care if anything happeneds to him, it's just that it would be a pity, the light side has lost to many people already."

"Yeah" Madame Pomfrey snorted. "We wouldn't want anyone to think that you cared" She shot him an meaningful look, which he ignored."He can stay where he are, he could really need the rest. That poor man hasn't been getting a full nights sleep since Sirius died." She looked at Remus sadly. "He was devestated when he heard about Harry, he was so afraid that he was going to lose him. I don't think that he would make it if something happened to the boy." Snape nodded again.

"Right. I'm leaving now" He said. "Got more important things to do." Madame Pomfrey eyed him sceptically. "Okey, I just don't want to stay" He admitted. Poppy smiled.

"Take care, Severus" She said. "I will just let Remus sleep and give him something for the hangover he will be suffering from when he wakes up and then he will be fine."

Snape nodded and glanced one last time at Harry before leaving. He walked down to his office, his head full of thoughts, he felt tired and wanted nothing more then some well deserved sleep, but he couldn't sleep now, he didn't know why but he just couldn't, he wanted to make sure that he was awake if something happened. It was pretty late, outside the moon was shining brightly over the forbidden forest, the reflection gleaming in the big lake.

Sighing, Snape pushed the door to his office, Dumbledore had left and not a single sound was heard. He softly shut the door and walked over to his desk and sat down behind it. Something met his eyes, on one of the shelfs there was a beautiful bowl-looking object, his pensive. Snape stood up and took it from the shelf, he put it down at the table and stared into the grey substance in it. He remebered how much he used this before, when he had to many thoughts and worries he could just place them in there, it had help him through some tough times. Something hit him and he grabbed his wand. He pointed it at the content and after a few seconds it began to flow into it. When the pensive was empty Snape pointed the wand at his temple instead. His thoughts connected with his skin and came back into his mind.

When he was done he stared at the pensive, he grabbed an piece of parchment and began to write. He stared at the words on it and put the note inside of the pensive. He sat down at the chair behind his desk, waiting for the time to pass. Half an hour later he stared at a small watch, it was five minutes past midnight, everyone would probably be asleep. He stood up and lifted the pensive. In silence he left his office and reurn without it twenty minutes later to the dungeons he loved so much.


	6. All There Is Left

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: Here I am with the latest update ;) Thank you all for your wonderful reviews ;) Oh, and you guys know right that this story is pre HBP? (Harrys sixth year)

Warnings: This story had been rated "M"for **Language **and **Violence. **It's also a **SLASH **but I don't think that it should affect the ratings, but _some _people find guy-guy relationships disturbing or whatever. :Glares: _Don't flame me cause you've been warned._

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Don't sue..

* * *

Chapter Six: All There Is Left

Harry awoke with a horrible headache and his entire body feeling sore, he groaned loudly and weakly lifted his arms to rub his eyes. His vision was blurry and he slowly turned to his side and reached out for the bedside table, his hand travelled against the top of it searching for his glasses and hit something else hard. He squinted his eyes to see what it was and could make out something that looked like an big bowl made out of stone. He pushed himself into a sitting position and grimaced at the pain in his chest. He traced his fingers against the stone object and could see his glasses lying next to it.

Grabbing them he pushed them to his nose and everything came into focus. Harry was completely alone in the hospital wing, the sun was raising and shining through the windows. He turned his attention back to the bedside table and saw that the object on it was a pensive. He gasped but regreted it at once as a stinging pain shot through his lungs. He stared in awe at the pensive and wondered who owned it. He looked into it and noticed a little piece of parchment inside of it and pulled it out. Turning it over he read the words written in red ink;

_"Use this if your mind becomes to heavy for you to handle" _There was no name on the note, not a sign of who might have given it to him, frowning Harry put down the note on the table. He wondered how you used it, he had to ask Dumbledore someday. He yawned loudly and stretched his legs as much as they would allow it before it began to hurt. He began to twist and turn his body parts in different angles not to quick or to much, it hurt like hell if he did so, but his every muscle felt so stern, like he had been lying in that bed for weeks.

He hissed in pain as he suddenly went to far and an insufferable pain shoot through his arm. He sighed in defeat and fell back into his pillows. He cuddled deeper into them and covered himself with the covers from the shoulders and down. He heard the sound a door opening and turned his head to where the sound was coming from. Madame Pomfrey entered the room holding a vial with some purple liquid in it. She smiled when she saw that Harry was awake and pulled out a chair next to him.

"How are you feeling?" She asked softly, she remebered how he had reacted when he woke up the last time, this was the first time he was really awake, the last time he had still been dozed off and confused. She couldn't get Snapes words out of her mind, about Harry might get some other problems. The boy shrugged and looked away. He felt empty, his mind was still adjusting and was working slower then usual. He still felt tired and sore, but he guessed that it was one of the side-effects from the beatings.

Harry gulped, he hadn't thought about the beatings since he had woke up, the pain, the darkness it was to much to take, he could almost feel the blood prickle down his chest, down to his sore stomach, he could almost taste the metallic liquid in his bruised mouth. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the memories from all the beatings, trying to forget the feeling of the cold blade pressed against his skin.

_"Worthless freak, you don't deserve to live" _Harry began to shake as those words echoed through his mind. The grinning face of his uncle appeared in his head and Harry sobbed quietly. He felt a hand on his shoulder, it was meant to comfort him, but the boy fliched and turned away, desperate to get away from the touch. He could hear a distant soft voice, trying to comfort him but he didn't listen to it, all the could hear was the malicious laughter of his uncle.

"Im sorry.. 'M sorry, uncle V-V-Vernon." Harry muttered, he dragged his legs to his bruised chest, ignoring the pain, he hugged his legs tighter to himself and began to rock back and forth. He buried his face in his knees as he countinued to mumble to himself. It must have been one of the most heart wrenching things madame Pomfrey had ever seen. She stared in shock at the broken hero in front of her, she didn't dare to touch him, afraid to scare him even more.

"Harry.. It's okay" She tried to comfort him, but the boy seemed to be somewhere else, miles away, he wouldn't listen. His thin body was trembling and jerking like he was being put under the cruciatus curse. Madame Pomfrey began to panic and tried to make him drink the potion, as she got closer Harrys magic began to flow, she could feel the amount of energy surrounding him. The vial in her hand exploaded. Madame Pomfrey gasped she ran out of the room to get some floo-powder, she threw it into a fireplace and almost shouted;

"Albus Dumbledore!" Moments later the old mans head appeared in the fire, he smiled warmly but the smile in his face faltered as he saw the look Poppy sent him, he could see the worry in her deep eyes and he disappeared from the flames. Only seconds later he stepped out of the fire, his eyes fell at once at the trembling boy. A sad look appeared on his face, he walked over to Harry and put a hand on the top of his head. To his surprise the boy screamed, like he was being eaten from the inside, like he had been put under the cruciatus curse, he screamed, screamed like never before. Dumbledore immediately pulled away and stared at the boy for a second. He raised his wand and pointed it at Harry.

"Stupefy" He muttered, a small red light hit the boy and he fell down to the pillows. Madame Pomfrey gasped but understood. She ran to one of the shelfs and grabbed another vial containing a purple potion. She opened it and poured down the content into the boys mouth, she rubbed his throat so he swallowed and watched as Dumbledore muttered the counter curse.

"Calming draught" Madame Pomfrey mumbled still in shock, Dumbledore nodded, Harry blinked twice and stared at the two adults, he didn't say anything. The potion was made to make a person relax. Slowly Harry made to sit up but Dumbledore held out a hand to stop him. A soft groan was heard from the other side of the room, Harry turned his head in the direction to where it was coming from. He could see a man lying on one of the beds.

"Remus?" Harry asked softly. Dumbledore nodded.

"Snape brought him here yesterday, don't worry he is fine, just a little drunk that's all." He said. For the first time he noticed the pensieve next to Harrys bed, he frowned and saw the note. A half smile spread across his face as he read it, he knew who gave it to Harry.

"Sir?" The boy spoke in a bare whisper. Dumbledore turned to Harry and saw the look of confusion on his face, apperantly he didn't. "What is it?"

"Do you know who gave this to you?" Dumbledore asked, Harry shook his head 'no'. "Do you know how you use one? It could be really helpful." Harry nodded.

"I know that it could really help to get rid of all my nightmares and memories for a while, but no I don't know how to use it." He said. Dumbledore pulled out his wand and handed it to Harry. The boy took it and a sad look spread over his face.

"Sir.. My stuff.." He choked on his words and looked down on his trembling hands. "Did .. did you find any of them?" Dumbledore blinked, Harrys stuff, he had forgotten about them. He had went to privet drive to see what mess Snape had caused, Vernon Dursley lay dead on the floor, blood still pouring down his body, Dudley was also lying on the floor, he had fainted but would be fine. Dumbledore had to detect Petunia before he found a blond rat in a empty cookie jar. Then he had started to search for Harrys stuff, he had only found a little bundle with some things in it, he had not looked what it was, afraid to step into Harrys private space.

"I found this" Dumbledore said and from inside his robes he took out the small bundle, wrapped in a ragged blanket. He put it down on the bed on Harrys legs. The boy began to slowly pull away the blanket and a tear ran down his cheek. There they were; his most beloved poseession.

"They.. They burnt it all" Harry whispered. "This is all I could s-save." Dumbledore stared at the objects, he touched the silvery cloak, the smooth material ran through his fingers like silk.

"Invisibillity cloaks doesn't catch fire." He muttered and Harry nodded.

"Vernon threw it into the fire, I.. I tired to stop him, but Dudley was holding me back. " He sniffed and grabbed his own wand. He screwed his eye shut and felt the magic connect with his fingertops and smiled weakly. "They didn't burn my real wand, it was a fake one I got from Fred and George." He opened his eyes and pointed the wand a small piece of parchment.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good" He said. A map began to form like someone was drawing it right there on the spot. "They didn't find this, I had it in my pocket when I left kings cross and forget it there. They didn't search through my clothes, they burned my trunk and then they grabbed my wand, cloak and photoalbum" At the mention of the latter Harry sobbed loudly, he put down the wand and grabbed the object lying on his legs. He took a deep breath and opened it; Dumbledore gasped and Harry let the tears flow. As soon as he opened the album a few pages fell out, he stared at the photographes which used to show the smiling faces of his parents, some of the photographes had been to badly burnt and could not be seen, some of them had stopped moving and only some parts could be seen. Ashes and more pages fell down on Harrys bed, followed by fresh tears.

"This w-w-was the l-l-last thing .. t-t-they threw into the f-f-fire" He choked, Dumbledore had to bent down to hear what the trembling boy was saying. "They l-l-left and I b-b-began to.. grabbed e-e-everything I .. c-c-could from the f-f-fire. My hands h-h-hurt but I c-c-couldn't leave it there.. It's all I h-h-have left of my p-parents." He hugged the photo album close to his chest. "Can I h-have som time alone?" Dumbledore nodded, pocketed his wand and left the room.

When the man had left Harry broke down in loud sobs, still holding the album in a death grip. He had completely forgotten about the pensieve. He didn't notice the door openening nor did he register as a man sat down on the chair next to him, Harry looked up a couple of seconds later and met the all to familiar dark gaze. He turned away and brushed away the tears flowing down his face. He didn't need this, he didn't want anyone to see him like this - weak, especially not Snape.

"What do you want?" Harry growled. "Came her to watch me suffer? Do you feel good now? Watching Harry Potter cry all weak and worthless?" Snape blinked, he was shocked at Harrys mood. He _was _after all the one who had saved him. Snape stopped himself from pointing that out, he knew that Harry would probably start ranting about how he would love the thought of Harry Potter owning him a life debt. _He would probably think I was gloating or throwing it in his face._ Snape thought.

"I was only delivering a potion to madame Pomfrey" He snapped, not completely honest, trying not to sound _too_ harsh. He was still unsure about Harrys mental state. The boy didn't react at his tone, mostly because of the calming draught though. "Do you know how to use that one?" Snape pointed at the pensive. Harry shook his head, he didn't know, he didn't care really, he only thing in his mind was the destroyed photoalbum in his arms. "Do you want me to teach you?" Harry shrugged. Snape frowned and pulled out his wand, he gestured for Harry to do the same.

"First thing" He said. "Put the wand against your temple.. Good. Now try to think about the memorie you want to put into the pensive" Harry searched through his mind and thought about the night Sirius had died. "When you do that, play it in your mind a couple of times, you must concentrate or it wont work. After a few times the memorie will play by itself in your mind, when it starts to do that, you simply pull away the wand and place it inside the pensieve, got it?" Harry nodded.

He began to focus on the thought, it hurt to think about Sirius death but he did it anyways, he could see the look of surprise on his godfathers handsome face as he fell, deeper and deeper, disappearing behind the veil, the high-pitched laughter of Bellatrix echoed through his mind. It didn't take long before the memorie began to play in his mind like a movie. Harry pulled away the wand, he gasped as he saw the thin silver stripe connect between his temple and wand, he stared at it for a moment and touched the bottom of the pensive with his wand. The silver line left the wand and formed into a grey substance. He smiled sadly. His mind already felt lighter, he guessed that he had been depressed about Sirius death more then he thought. It had been there inside of his mind, pushing him further over the edge. Snape nodded.

"Like that. yes.." He saw that tears were threatening to fall from the boys emerald orbs and frowned. He noticed the bok Harry was clutching desperatly, he didn't recognize it at first it was burnt badly. His face fell as he understood. He looked sadly at Harry and stood up, he knew that the boy needed some time alone, some people might say that you need your friends when you are sad, but this was one of those moments where Harry needed som space and Snape was certainly not going to invade on it.


	7. Four Days

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: 71 REVIEWS! CoOoOoL! I can't believe it, thank you everyone! ;D :Happy, Happy: This chapter took a lot of time to write and is really short. I haven't been giving it so much time lately. Becuase it took so long I will publish it before it gets beta:ed, my first chapter is done by my wonderful beta.xhe doesn't have a FF account.

Warnings: Rated 'M' for laguage, violence, abuse, **slash (Yummy! xD),** angst, blood and such. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, this is the seventh time I say that. Don't sue.

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Chapter Seven: Four days.. 

Remus groaned and began to stir, he could hear distant voices but ignored them, his headache was insufferable. He slowly opened his eyes, the blinding light hit him hard and he quickly shut them again. He tried to move but felt so ill, he was afraid he was going to throw  
up if he tried, his stomach trembled and he swallowed hard and took a deep breath, it slightly help. He didn't know how long he lay there, he felt slower and tired beyond belief.

"Can I have some time alone?" He heard someone say, Remus clutched his head to shut everything out, someone walked past him and out the door. Thank good the person didn't slam it or something like that. He enjoyed the silence and let out a weak growl as the door opened again, Remus slowly opened his eyes, the light had slightly ceased and it didn't hurt to bad to look at it. A soft gasp was heard and Remus turned over to his other side his vision was slightly blurry but he could clearly make out a man dressed in black sitting next to a raven-haired boy.

"Harry" Remus muttered trying to get the boys attention although no one heard him, he felt his eyelids growing heavy and felt the  
darkness embrace him, so tired.. It didn't take long before Remus was asleep.

A couple of hour later he woke up, his head didn't hurt too bad now, he still felt tired in his entire body. His stomach trembled and he quickly sat up, a wave of dizziness swept over him and he stood up, swaying he ran over to one of the bathrooms next to the hospital wing. He slammed the door shut and bent down over the toilet, vometing. Five minutes later he felt a little better, the headache had returned with full force but his illness had almost completely gone away. He went back to his bed and sat down, he looked around in the quiet room and his gaze fell on the sleeping boy in the other side of the room.

Remus made his way over to his best friends son and sat down next to him a sad look upon his face. He had always loved Harry like the son he never had, he had been so disappointed the day James and Lily had made Sirius his godfather, he remebered what Padfoot had said. "_If I die you can be Harrys godfather of course.. Although the three of us aren't going anywhere."_ About a  
year later James and Lily had died and Sirius had been sent to azkaban completely innocent.

Remus pushed away Harrys bangs softly and stared at the scar in his forehead, the boy had gone through so much he didn't have to deal with this. He saw the photoalbum lying on Harrys legs, one of his arms were lying on top of it. Carefully Remus grabbed the book, he checked that Harry still was sleeping before openening it. He gasped, it was completely destroyed, he could see dried tears on the boys bruised face and grabbed his wand from one of his pockets. He pointed it at the photoalbum and muttered softy;

"Reparo" His face fell as nothing happened. "Reparo" He tried for the second time, again nothing happened. He mentally kicked himself as he rembered, you can't just repair _burned _photos, the matter(1) has melted and you couldn't force them together with magic, if someone had ripped a photograph then you could repair it, but trying to do that with this was almost impossible, it was like creating a completely new photograph and only a few wizards in the entire world had the power to reproduce matter like that, and creating a  
photo too, having to make it look like it used to.. He simply couldn't do it.

"Hello Remus" A soft voice said, almost whispering. He turned around and met the smiling face of Madame Pomfrey. "How are you feeling?"

"Im feeling quite well actually, except from the slight headache." He said, Madame Pomfrey nodded and gave him a vial from one of her pockets. She held it out for him and he thankfully took it, he stared at the orange liquid in it for a second before drinking it. A warm feeling spread in the pit of his stomach and pierced through his entire body, then a cool sensation took over and Remus felt his body return to normal.

"Thank y-" He began but stopped as he saw Harry stir. He grabbed the boys hand in his own and squeezed it tightly. "Harry?" Harry opened his his eyes, green orbs met brown and a huge smile spread over the older mans face. "How are you feeling?" The boy blinked the sleepiness from his eyes and pushed himself into a sitting position, leaning back against the bedpost.

"I'm fine" He said. "A little sore in my chest and I don't have to much energy in my body, but other then that I'm fine" Remus nodded, he was so happy he didn't notice how the boy pulled away from his hand. He opened his mouth to say something but Harry wanted to avoid questions about what had happened and such so he said the first thing that came into his mind;

"So how are things.. like.. going?" _Smooth. _He cursed himself and his lack of anything smart to say, but he really just wanted to avoid the subject 'Harry' now. Remus knew what he was doing and sighed, he realized that madame Pomfrey was left and listening to them, he shot her a meaningful look and she took the hint and left the two of them alone.

"Harry, I know what you are trying to do" Remus said, eying the boy closely, his gaze fell on the bruises on his necks in shape of a hand he hadn't noticed before."I'm not going to push you to talk to me if you aren't ready for it, but you know that you can tell me anything  
you want right? I'll always be here for you" Harry nodded, but stayed silcent. Remus realized that he wasn't going to talk about anything tonight and decided to change subject.

"I assume things gets pretty dull in here" He said, looking around in the room frowning. "Think about all the fun stuff you'll do once  
you're out of here, like quidditch for example." Harry opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted. "Yes, the ban has been lifted, did you actually think that Umbridge could keep you from playing quidditch?" He smiled, Harry had to admit, he did feel better. The small look of happiness in the boys face faded quickly, but rembered something. His broom had not been burnt with the rest of his belongings, he had left it at Hogwarts after Umbridge had taken it, he never got it back, it would still be around somewhere in the castle.

"Look Harry" Remus said, serious again. "I really think that you should talk about this, you shouldn't bottle these things up" Harry blinked.

"I don't feel like talking, okay?" He snapped.

"But it's for your own go-" Remus kept going.

"I don't! want! to talk!" Harry growled angrily, he would talk when he was ready and he wasn't right now.

"Harry" Remus reached out and put a hand on the boys shoulder. "I th-"

"DON'T PUSH ME, OKAY?" Harry shouted, Remus could clearly see the fright in the childs eyes, he quickly withdrew. "Just.. Please, don't push me, I'm not ready to talk about it.." He looked down on his hands nervously. Remus frowned.

"Please Harry.." He pleaded. "It killes me to see you like this, but.. You didn't tell us what happened in the letter you wro-"

"Wait." Harry interrupted. "What letter?" Remus blinked twice.

"Your will.." He said, he stared at the boy, confusion was written across his bruised face.

"I didn't write any wi-" He said, frowning. The door to the infirmary opened and madame Pomfrey came rushing in.

"Get out!" She said, trying to control her voice. "I told you he needed his rest, he is clearly upset, I could hear him shouting, Get out!" Remus was going to protest but the witch sent him a look that could kill and he stood up, he nodded at Harry and with one last look at Poppy he left deep in his own thoughts.

"I'll let you rest now Harry" She said softly. Harry snorted in frustration, he had been resting for so long he didn't need anymore sleep or anything, he did feel a little tired but he wasn't going to waste the entire day sleeping. He knew better then to protest against madame Pomfrey and just nodded instead.

"I'll be back in an hour or two for your energy potion and breakfast." She said before leaving. "Just call for me if you need anything." Harry sighed, what to do now? The pensive caught his eye and he pulled out his wand, he winced as a stab of pain shot through his chest but ignored it. He placed the wand against his temple and began to search through his mind, his talk with Remus had brought up some memories he didn't wan't to revive. A tear ran down his cheek as the memorie in question began to play in his mind, he pulled it out and put it in the pensive.

_Cold laughter filled the air, mixing with the small sobs coming from a little boy curled up into a small little ball in the corner,  
he was shivering and jerking like he was being repeatedly whipped or kicked. A huge man towered over the slight figure,_ _with a look of pure disgust upon his face. He smiled wickedly as he watched his own nephew shrink back into the wall, he was hugging his legs tightly against his chest. _

_So scared.._

_Vernon picked up Harry by the collar, he could see the fright in the boys emerald orbs, his eyes usually so full of love happiness. He was slammed against the hard wall and started to cough blood, his entire back aching from the force, his head dropped  
and the blood stained his shirt. His uncle was laughing as a madman as he watched the boy suffer. He raised his fist and slammed it with all his might against the boys already bloody face, Harry groaned in pain and bit his lip. He hated showing weakness. _

_So lost.._

_"Worthless freak, nothing but a waste of space" Vernon growled and kicked him in the stomach still pinning him against the wall. Another blow landed on the boys face, this time his jaw had to deal with the punishment and a sickening crack was heard, followed by a soft whimper. _

_So painful.._

_"Let's play a game, Freak" The man spat. "and we'll se how much it takes for you to scream." He grinned evilly causing Harry to shudder, he was dragged away to the big kitchen in privet drive and thrown to the floor with a soft thump. The pain in his back made it almost impossible for him to get up. He had trouble seeing since he had dropped his glasses, but he could soon he could clearly see his uncle bending down over him holding something in his right hand. _

_So lonely.._

_Harry could feel his shirt being ripped open and the next thing he could register was the insufferable pain in his stomach, sobs escaped his throat but he knew that it wouldn't stop his uncle. The knife was lifted for a second, blood was dripping down from it on the boys chest. Then he could feel it again, now he couldn't deal with the blinding pain anymore, he could feel his eyes watering and his throat going dry and he screamed. Screamed as the blood covered his stomach, running down onto the floor. __The pain continued until Vernon was satisfied and he stood up, a evil smile spread on his lips as he watched his work. The last thing Harry could remeber before falling into the darkness was the cold laughter filling the air. _

He remebered the pain, how it felt as the darkness embraced him. Harry lifted his PJ shirt and ran his fingers across his bruised stomach, barely visible under a black and purple bruise the word 'FREAK' had been carved. The letters were so thin, the cuts had healed, you couldn't even know that they were there if you didn't feel them for yourself, this was Harrys secret and his alone. He wasn't going to show it to anyone, he had to be careful, the bruises would go away, but the scars would remain so much longer then that. He dropped  
his shirt quickly as the door opened.

"Did you call for me Harry?" Madame Pomfrey asked. The boy shook his head.

"No.." He said. " .. When can I leave?"

"Well" The older women thougth for a while. "You need to gather your energy and the school starts in four days, I don't think you have  
to stay longer then that.." Harry nodded, he hadn't realized that school was starting soon, a half smile appeared on his face.

"Four days.."

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_(1) Matter; material or substantial part of anything; the constituent elements of conception; that into which a notion may be analyzed; the essence; the pith; the embodiment.. _See Monica I _do _pay attention in science! 


	8. Field Of Innocence

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: Now, when I'm done with _the seventh chapter, _Aka "the 'will the story continue or not'-chapter". and TADUM! I'm writing chapter eight, This is the most succesful story I've written. ;) Thank you, It's because of all my reviewers. :) Song in this story: Evanescence - Field Of Innocene. Love that song. :)

Warnings: 'M' rated, because of violence, abuse, blood, angst and other stuff that some people might find disturbing. Oh. and it's a **slash.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. JK Rowling does.

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Chapter Eight: Field Of Innocence

_"Your will."_

What will? Harry rubbed his temples in frustration he was getting really tired of lying in his bed all day long. Three days until school now and he found himself more and more bored with every minute that passed by. He slowly crossed his arms across his chest, being careful not to hurt himself, he was getting much better, the wound on his chest was only hurting when he someone touch him there.

Harry couldn't get the conversation from last night out of his head, what will did Remus talk about? He didn't remember writing a letter, he hadn't written anything the entire summer except those letter his uncle had forced him to send the order every third day, telling them he was fine. And a will? Why would he write a will? The only time he actually had thought that was going to die had been the night he got to the hospital wing, and he had not been able to write anything even if he had tried.

He sighed in frustration, he did not want to think about this, it was way to confusing. Maybe he could use the pensieve? He bent over the big bowl-like object and looked down at the silver substance. It was filled with painful memories and sorrow, his thoughts were gathered and forgotten. They didn't hurt him when they were stuck in there, it seemed like his mind was clearer and his heart lighter. He had spent the last night emptying his mind of all his horrid memories, it helped a lot. He didn't have any nightmaresand almost no more flashbacks.

A beautiful song kept playing inside of his head, he didn't remember it, nor the women who sang it. It made him feel safer, but he couldn't place where he had heard it.

_I still remember the world  
From the eyes of a child  
Slowly those feelings  
Were clouded by what I know now_

The voice was familiar, the words held nothing but love for him and were meant to make him feel better. Harry closed his eyes and settled against the pillows as he listened to the words.

_Where has my heart gone  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all_

Harry grabbed his wand from the bedside table and placed it against his right temple, he was getting pretty used to using the pensieve. The concentrated on the words he had heard and soon it was like someone sung to him inside of his head.

_I still remember the sun  
Always warm on my back  
Somehow it seems colder now_

He pulled out the silver string and placed it in the pensieve, he watched as it began to swirl and pointed the wand at it once more. The surface showed him small glimpses of all the memories trapped in the pensive, soon he found what he was looking for and the song began to play out loud.

_Where has my heart gone  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything_

Harry bent down closer to the content and stared at it, he couldn't see any images of where he could have heard it. He sighed and closed his eyes, he leant down even more and soon his face was touching the silver substance. He felt himself getting pulled into the pensieve like he had last year at Snape's office and a year earlier in Dumbledore's.

_Where has my heart gone  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything  
Away_

He couldn't see anything, then a white light came out of no where, surrounding him, he could hear the song from a distant place, white light everywhere he turned. The only thing that was heard was that song.

_Where has my heart gone  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I... I want to go back to  
Believing in everything _

I still remember.. I Love You.

Harry remembered, as he heard those three words. He could rememeber it, it had been when he was ina coma, he could hear the voices whispering to him, telling him that everything would be okay. He smiled and closed his eyes (again) in concentration. He could still see the light shining through his eyelids and a couple of seconds later everything went black. He opened his eyes and was back in his bed, he didn't even feel it when he returned.

_Hermione.. _He thought, she was the one, the one who sang the song. Wow, he never knew that she could sing. Maybe it wasn't her.. But on the other hand who could it have been otherwise.. Ron? Harry shuddered, the thought of Ron singing, he didn't want to go there. They had been the two who watched him as he woke up and Harry could clearly make out Hermione's voice as she said _"I Love You_".

Harry's smile grew wider, it felt good to be loved. Hermione was like a sister to him and he couldn't even begin to describe how much she meant to him. He knew that she cared for him, even though she treated him like a fragile baby at times, she did it for his own good and he knew it.. And even though Harry snapped at her for doing so, he still liked the way she wanted to make him feel better. He knew that his friends would always be there for him.

"Hey Harry" Harry turned around to where the voices was coming from and met the warm gaze of his best friend standing in the doorway. Harry had not gotten a good look of Ron since the last year, he could see that he had changed a lot over the summer, he was way taller then he used to be, several inches taller then Harry infact. He had gotten a nice tan over the summer and was a little chubbier then Harry had remembered him.

He realized how sick he must look himself. His skin was so pale, almost white. He had dark shadows under his eyes and was covered in big bruises. He was so skinny that you could see his ribs and he was really short, he could have been mistaken for a thirteen year old instead of the sixteen year old boy he was.

"Hi Ron" He said, a half smile playing on his lips. Ron hesitated for a second before walking over to him and sitting down next to Harrys bed. He had heard about his and Remus's little chat last night and knew that Harry was still really shaken up by everything that had happened.

"So, when can you get out of here, mate?" Ron asked, Harry was surprised, he thought that Ron's first question was going to be 'How are you feeling?'.

"Madame Pomfrey said that I can leave sometime before the school starts, thank god, it's so boring here." He said. Ron nodded.

"I get that.. Hey, when you get better we can go and play some quidditch, that'd be fun, eh?"

"Yeah, can't wait" Harry smiled. "It'll be more time for fun now when the OWLs are over."

"Yeah. How did you do by the way?" Ron asked. "Hermione got top scores in everything of course. I didn't get a single 'O' can you believe that? I thought I'd get it in at least DADA, with all the extra training I got. I only got a 'E', and I got a bunch of 'A's too, but I got a 'P' in dinvination so I guess I'll have to give that up, but hey! no loss there."

"Erm.. Well.." Harry frowned. "I don't remeber everything but I got a 'O plus' in DADA and--"

"O _plus_?" Ron cried. "_plus_, how did you manage that?"

"Oh, I got a plus because of my patronus." Harry explained. "But I only got a 'E' in potions, so I'll have to give up my auror-plans" He sighed. "Whatever, I'm bored enough already without talking about grades."

"Yeah, you're right." Ron muttered."Oh, mum got you all school supplies so you don't even have to leave the school before it starts."

"Yippie, I can stay in here for 3 days.." Harry mumbled, crossing his arms across his chest. Ron nodded, not knowing what to say, when a thought his him.

"Where is madame Pomfrey?" He asked, looking around in the room.

"Er.. I don't know, I think she is talking to Dumbledore in his office. I convinced her that I was going to be okay without her for an hour or two." Harry said, raising an eyebrown. "Why?" Ron grinned and stood up.

"How about we go flying for _an hour or two?" _He waited eagerly for Harry to say something. The raven haired boy nodded and smiled widely.

"Sure, but I don't know where my broom is and--" He began but Ron interrupted him and grabbed Harrys wand from the bedside table and held it out for him.

"Remember fourth year?" He asked, still grinning. Harry blinked but understood and took the wand from the redhead.

"Accio firebolt" He muttered, getting a clear image of his beloved broom. He knew that it would look really suspicious if a broom came flying through the school but there were almost no one here. A couple of minutes later the object in question came soaring into the room. Harry smiled and grabbed, he jumped of the bed and noticed that he was wearing a white PJ. Ron threw him some clothes and left him to change.

A minute later the both boys were making their way down to the quidditch pitch.

"Okay, if we go back in an hour no one will notice that we were gone.. maybe" Ron muttered in Harry's ear as they walked past Hagrid's hut. Harry nodded.

"Yeah, madame Pomfrey would freak if she found out about this, she'd probably force me to stay another week, I'm shocked that she actually left me alone, she used to be so stern all the time." He said, frowning.

"Well.. It's better like this, right? I mean, she is not on your back all the time." Ron stopped as he and Harry reached the quidditch pitch, he grinned at his friend and mounted his "new" cleansweeper and flew into the air. Harry soon followed him, Ron's cleansweeper was nothing compaired to the firebolt of course, Fred had given it to him when he got a new one. His and George's buisness were going great and they made more money then you could count. They had gotten a new location in hogsmeade to compete against Zonko's, it was George's idea, according to him Zonko's didn't have all the pranks a teenage witch or wizard needed.

As soon as Harry left the ground he could feel all his worries leaving him, the wind ruffled his already messy haired and blew into his face. He quickened his speed and soared through the air, he could feel his blood pumping, his heart beating faster and his mind empty. Before Ron saw what was happening Harry made a quick dive, he flew down towards the ground in an amazing speed.

The ground was getting closer, Harry smiled, the rush was increadible, daring him to fly a little lower.. and lower. The ultimate challenge, how long could he go before he wouldn't be able to pull up? before his crashed? Closer.. The grass was getting closer and closer. Ron's cries was lost in the wind as he called for his best friend. Harry was flying too fast, there was no way he could go back now, he was going to crash, Ron had to help him. He could hear his best friend laughing as he continued down with the same speed.

Harry could have almost touched the ground as he pulled up in the last second. Ron blinked and stared at him, that must have been the most impressive dive he'd ever seen in his entire life. With that speed. He stared at his best friend not knowing what to say.

"Close your mouth Ron" Harry said. "You look like a bloody fish" Ron hadn't noticed that his mouth was open and quickly did as he was told. A smile spread across his lips and he burst out laughing.

"Oh my.. god!" He said, between gasps. "I thought you were going to crash, I was so scared and you have no idea of how relieved I am now. Can you imagine what madame Pomfrey would have done to me if you had crashed? She would have killed me." Harry nodded.

"Yeah, probably. Although I wasn't planing on crashing, now was I?" He laughed, Ron grinned and flew away to the other side of the pitch.

"First to those goalposts wins" He shouted over his shoulder. Harry smiled and flew to catch up on his best friend..


	9. School Start

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: Here it is people.. _The _chapter you've all been waiting for. :Pause for dramatic effect :IN COMES DRACO! This is infact my longest chapter over 3000 words. :)

Warnings: Rated M for a reason ya know. Slash (Yummy! xD), abuse, angst, blood, violence, laguage. You know the fun stuff ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, trust me.. I don't.

_PLEASE HELP_; searching for a story I didn't get to finish because of school. (Damn it to hell) it didn't show up on my favorite's list and now I can't find it! first chapter "the tie.. something" Harry kisses Draco's tie on the hogwarts express. They tease each other and such. Ring a bell? Please write!

Note: I found the story. **Famin **found it for me. Thanks :)

* * *

Chapter Nine: School Start 

"You promised" Harry crossed his arms over his chest, he threw his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. "You did, you said that you would let me go when school started, which is _today_." Madame Pomfrey shook her head.

"No" She said sternly. "I did not _promise. _I said _maybe"_ Harry growled in frustration.

"I'm fine. Honestly" He said thruthfully. "My wounds almost doesn't hurt anymore, and I promise that I'll continue with the potions until I'm completely fine, I can take care of myself." Madame Pomfrey looked like she was considering what he said, she frowned and sighed.

"Okay, I'll let you go" Harry smiled broadly. "But" Madame Pomfrey continued, Harry's face fell, he didn't like where this was going."If you start feeling nauseous or your chest starts to hurt again, come back here. Okay?" Harry nodded.

"Yes, madame." He grabbed the pensieve and the wand on his bedside table and left the infirmary. Ron was waiting outside and a huge smile spread over his face.

"You're free to go?" He asked, Harry nodded. Ron laughed and grabbed the pensieve from Harry. "Come one let's go to the tower and get you settled, all your stuff is already there. Don't worry, your book and clothes have been replaced and--" He stopped when he saw the look on Harry's face, his eyes were glazed over and his lower lip trembled. "Are you okay?" Harry swallowed hard and nodded, he had just remembered the photo album, he was embarrassed that he cried over it, but on the other side it had been on of the few things he had left of his parents.

"Okay.." Ron continued. "Right. Hedwig is in the owlery, she is a very smart owl, you know. She flew here the same day you got here." Harry didn't say anything, they walked for another five minutes in silence, Ron kept shoting Harry glances like he wanted to say something but quickly turned away, when he saw that he noticed. They reached the portriat hole and said the password, since the school hadn't started yet, they had come up with a pasword of their own.

"The amazing bouncing ferret" Ron muttered to the fat lady and the portrait swung open, Harry arched an eyebrown. The redhead shrugged "What? It was either that or _La magie de l'étude._"

"What the hell does that mean?" Harry frowned.

"No idea, that's my point.. Hermione suggested it." Ron shot him a meaningful look and walked through the portrait hole, he put down the pensieve on a table on the other side of the room and popped down in the couch in front of the fireplace and yawned loudly. Harry grabbed the pensieve and made his way to the dormitory.

"I'll just put this away" He said and walked up the stairs, taking two steps at the time. He sat down on his bed and sighed, he couldn't wait for school to start again. What surprised him the most was that even though he had spent almost a week in the hospital wing, he was still really tired.

"Harry!" Ron's voice called from downstairs, Harry jumped and blinked twice. He stood up and walked down to the common room.

"Took you long enough" Harry glared playfully at Ron and sat down in a armchair across him. "Up for a game of wizard chess?" Harry nodded. They had to do something to pass the time, it was five hours until the other students would arrive to the school. Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at himself, he muttered something in a foreign language and a blue/white light burst out from the top and connected with his skin, it surrounded his entire body. When it reached up to his neck Ron could see what it was supposed to do, the bruises slowly faded away, soon they had all disappeared and his pale skin was completely perfect.

"What?" Harry asked when he noticed the look of surprise upon his best friends face. "I can't walk around looking like death himself" Ron chuckled.

"Yeah, you're right. Now let's play wizard chess" He picked up his board, began to set up the pieces and grinned with an amused look in his eyes. "Prepare to lose Potter"

* * *

"Aa Remus, what is on your mind, my boy?" Dumbledore sat down behind his desk and stared intently at the younger man in front of him. Remus closed the door behind him and sat down on the other side of the desk. He sighed and stared down at his hands. 

"It's.. It's Harry" He muttered. Dumbledore straightened himself and waited for Remus to continue. "He's been acting strange, I've only met him once since he woke up and.. He.. He seemed scared of me. He flinched when I tried to touch him and totally freaked out when I asked him about his will." Dumbledore sat in silence for a couple of seconds like he was in deep thoughts and sighed.

"Lemon drop?" He held out a little bowl with the sweets in it. Remus blinked and shook his head 'no'.

"No thank you" He said. "But, about Harry--" Dumbledore held up a hand to stop him and put down the bowl onto the desk.

"I know about this Remus" He said sadly, Remus opened his mouth to say something but Dumbledore interrupted him. "I'm sorry, but there is nothing more we can do for him then being there for him, if he needs to talk or just a shoulder to cry on. He's been through a lot with Sirius and his relatives. He is also very upset becuase of the photo album with his baby pictures and parents. Unfortunatly it can not be repaired." Remus nodded, he already knew that Harry had been gone through hell and back. Dumbledore hadn't noticed that Remus flinched and a pained expression appeared on his face as he mentioned Sirius.

"I guess you're right Albus" He muttered and sighed. "I'll always be there for him and I'll help him through his tough times. But.. There's another thing I've been thinking about since I talked to him. His will. He said that he didn't write a will, I guess I'm giving this too much thought, maybe he just forgett about it and.." He stopped and a horriefied look spread over his face "Maybe he is having amnesia!" He cried "Maybe--"

"Didn't write it?" Dumbledore interrupted, completely ignoring the younger man's little outburst. "That's interesting.. But.. Of course.." He stared into thin air with a frown on his face and Remus waited eagerly for the older man to explain everything.

"What?" He asked half an minute later when he had realized that he wasn't going to explain anything without a little push. Dumbledore turned back to Remus and smiled.

"Nothing to worry about Remus, my boy, I highly doubt that Harry will suffer from memory loss" He said calmy, Remus let out a sigh in relief. "As you might know, Harry is a very powerful wizard." Remus nodded. "And you know that sometimes when a wizard have strong feelings about something, things might happened. For example; things blow up. In other words; wandless magic. Wandless magic is based on a wizards or witchs feelings, although it has to be really pure and strong. Mostly children have this abbility, when a witch or wizard grows older and build up their own magic they lose it. Every magical child _can _do wandless magic if the feeling is strong enough, they can not control it though. Only a few adults witches and wizards can do wandless magic and control it."

"_If _someone _is _able to control wandless magic they can not only use it to blow things up when they are angry and sad, they can also use regular spells and similar things, it's all in their minds. Harry is powerful, his magic will one day surpass mine. It's very possible that Harry is able to use wandless magic without controlling it. In that case he could have written the letter without really knowing it."

"You mean like subconsciously?" Remus whispered, he was slightly taken aback by all the information. Dumbledore nodded.

"Exactly, it's really fascinating, and that's the case, we'll have to learn him how to control it. It might be really useful, some wizards who could do wandless magic didn't need a wand at all. Merlin for example, he could do basically anything and _without _a wand." Remus blinked and cleared his throat.

"Well, thank you Albus." He said. "I must be going now, Moody wants us to report at the headquarters every day at 10.00 am." Dumbledore nodded.

"Of course, have a good day Remus, my boy"

"Good day, Albus" And with that he stood up and left the room. Dumbledore sighed, he never ceased to be amazed by the raven haired boy.

* * *

The great hall filled up with old student, they were all chattering lively with their friends. A emerald eyed boy and a redhead sat at one of the four long tables in the center of the hall and talked to a brown haired girl. This was not an unusual sight, since the three of them were best friends. Silence swept over everyone and the big doors swung open with a loud bang and a old witch with a sten look upon her face stalked across the hall, she was followed by a bunch of kids no older then 12 years old, all wearing black. Everyone looked really nervous. 

"Hey Harry" The emerald eyes boy felt someone nudge his shoulder and turned his head to the right. "Remember out first year?" He whispered. Harry grinned, oh yeah, he did rememeber their first year, he could remember the nervousness shooting through his body. Ron had felt exactly like he had, his twin brothers, Fred and George had scared him, telling him that everyone had to fight a troll before they could get sorted. He nodded and looked at the kids who were about to start their journey through Hogwarts.

In front of the head table there were a ragged old hat placed on a wooden stool, the hat suddenly came to life and started to sing. As soon as it stopped, Professor McGongall took out a piece of parchment out of her robes and unrolled it, she scanned the group of children and cleared her throat.

"When I call your name, you shall step forward. I'll place the hat on top of your head and it shall decide in which house you belong, gryffindor, ravenclaw, hufflepuff or slytherin and you may join your fellow classmates at their table. Beecher, Liza" A blond girl with a red ribbon in her hair stepped forward nervously, she was shaking and sat down at the stool. McGongall put the hat on her blond curls and the yound girl closed her eyes tightly. It only took the hat a couple of second before it decided that she belonged in ravenclaw.

"Harry" Ron nudged his shoulder lightly, Harry flinched and met his friends gaze. "Malfoy is glaring at you" he said in a hushed tone. Harry glanced towards the slytherin table, it wasn't hard to see Malfoys white-blond hair in the crowd of students. Silver orbs crashed into emerald. Malfoy stared at Harry and narrowed his eyes. The raven haired boy gulped, he remebered what Malfoy had said at the end of last year. He had been so pissed when his father went to prison all thanks to Harry and his friends, he had sworn for payback.

The blond boy turned away and broke their gazez, Harry just shrugged it off and turned back to the sorting.

"Williams, Ford." McGonagall called, the last student stepped forward nevously and sat down on the stool like the other had, he had dark brown hair and deep blue eyes. The hat was placed upon his head and soon it made it's choice.

"HUFFLEPUFF"

The hufflepuff table burst into cheers, Dumbledore stood up and the hall fell quiet at once.

"Now that's respect" Ron whispered to Harry, who nodded.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts" Dumbledore said. "As you know, the forbidden forest is.. forbidden. I reguest that you older students set an good example for your younger classmates, and also we have a new teacher in defence against dark arts, please welcome Tom Nuit" A tall man completely dressed in black stood up, he had ebony hair that reached down to his shoulders. His skin was pale, almost white and he had dark shaddows under his eyes. Although the most stunning thing about his look was his eyes, they had a beautiful shade of violet. He looked absolutely gorgeous and Harry swore he could hear Parvati sigh dreamily.

He looked around in the hall, from across the room he could see Pansy Parkinsson staring at the man with lustful eyes, he shuddered and looked away. There were something about Tom that made you take a second look, he looked really mysterious and was unreadable. He was probably skilled in legilimency and occlumncey. He could have fooled Dumbledore, maybe he was evil like Quirrel and Moody, or maybe he was just as nasty as Umbridge, although she was evil too.. _Bitch._

"What do you think of him?" Harry asked Hermione, she started and smiled.

"Vampire" She said, Harry blinked. "He's a vampire! Harry, didn't you figure it out? We've read about them in class remember? The pale skin is a sign of lack of pigment, because he can't be out in the sun, the eyes, only the most powerful creature has violet or scarlet eyes, not that every powerful person has those colours, like Merlin, he had blue eyes. Besides vampires radiate power, you can almost feel their aura .Only witched or wizards can become vampires, they have increadible mind powers and--"

"I get it Hermione" Harry snapped. "He's a vampire."

"ho's a 'ampire?" Ron said through a mouthfull of mashed potates, Hermione rolled her eyes and ignored him. The golden plates had been filled with food and all the students were scooping up everything they could reached onto their empty plates. Harry grabbed a chicken wing and stared at it, he had not eaten any firm food for some time, he had been starved at the Dursley's and the only think he drank in the infirmary was light soup and potions.

He took a small bite and gagged as he swallowed. His stomach growled in protest and he clutched it tightly to stop himself from throwing up. With shaking hands he grabbed a gobletof water and poured it down his throat. His stomach calmed down and he pushed away the plate with a disgusted look on his face. He tried not to think about the fat food and took another sip from the goblet. He didn't eat anything at all during the entire meal, his stomach wouldn't allow it.

Harry felt two eyes piercing into him and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. He quickly turned towards the head table and met the usual cold gaze of Snape, he was shocked at the mysterious glint hidden in his dark orbs, worry? Snape broke away and turned back to his meal. Harry shrugged it of and sighed loudly.

"Are you okay?" Hermione asked, biting her lip. He nodded.

"Yeah, I'm just tired" He said. "But madame Pomfrey said that it's normal and I might run out of energy faster then usual, but I'll be fine in a week or two."

"Oh, do you want to go back to the common room?" Harry nodded again. He stood up and Hermione followed his example, she grabbed Ron by the arm and pulled him up. She dragged him after Harry and they left the great hall. Suddenly Harry bumped into something hard, he stumbled backwards and fell down to the floor with a soft thump.

He closed his eyes in pain as a sharp pain shot through his chest. _Damn if the wound reopens _he thought.

"Watch where you are going, Malfoy" He heard Ron growl. He opened his eyes and stood. Draco Malfoy were standing in front of the redhead, glaring, with his two sidekicks on each side of him, his hair had grown longer and were no longer slicked back, so it fell gently down his face. Ron turned to Harry, who was now breathing heavily. "Are you okay, mate?"

"Oh sorry, did the wonder boy break a nail?" Malfoy drawled, he stared at Harry with emotionless eyes and a taunting smirk on his lips. Crabbe and Goyle laughed stupidly. Ron lunged forward with his fist raised, but Hermione grabbed his robes and pulled him back.

"Don't" She warned. Ron let his arm fall to his side in defeat, he knew that it wasn't a god idea to start a fight right in the corridor.

"Is there a problem here?" A voice said from behind Harry, he slowly turned around, careful not to hurt his chest.

"Professor Nuit" Hermione squeaked. The older man stared at them with his perfect eyebrowns arched.

"No problem here" Malfoy said and walked away with Crabbe and Goyle stumbling after him. Nuit stared after them and shifted hiseyes to Harry. He felt really uncomfortable under the mans gaze and looked away. His breath was coming in small ragged gasp, because of the insufferable pain in his chest, he must have hit it pretty hard when he walked into Malfoy.

"Are you okay, kiddo?" Nuit asked.

"Yeah.. I'm.. fine.." Harry said between gasps."I just.. need to.. rest.." Hermione and Ron grabbed his arms and held him up as he began to sway, they looked at him their eyes filled with worry. "Really.. just need.. some sleep.."

"Take him back to your common room" Nuit ordered Ron and Hermione. "If he gets any worse take him to the hospital wing."

The two nodded and dragged away their best friend to the gryffindor tower. They reached the portrait hole and spoke the password. ("Flobberworm") surprisingly no one was in the common room, they were all still left at the feast. Ron and Hermione help Harry up the stairs to the dormitory and carefully placed him under the covers of his bed.

It didn't take long before Harry began to breathe normally and drifted away into the darkness. His best friends looked at him sadly and without making any sound, they left theroom, closed the door behind themselves and left the sleeping boy to get his rest.


	10. Tom Nuit

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: Yeey, yesterday (11/9) the swedish version of HBP came out. Can anyone guess who these people are in english? Grårygg, Snigelhorn, Ronny-Ponny. One week until GoF movie, me and my best friend got tickets to the first air in sweden on the sneak premiere. 17/11 :) THIS CHAPTER TOOK SOOOO LONG! Been busy. FINALLY updated.

Warnings: Rated 'M' for a reason; abuse, angst, violence, laguage. **Slash**. _Don't flame me because of it! _

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the only thing I own is Tom Nuit and this story! I know I've used Tom in my other story but whatever.. ;)

* * *

Chapter Ten: Tom Nuit 

"Harry, wake up. NOW!" Harry started and rolled over to his side. He yawed loudly and snuggled his pillow. He felt someone nudge his side and slapped the hand away. He muttered something in his pillow and it was pulled out of his grasp, his head fell down on the soft mattress and he put his hand under it for more support.

"Harry! Get up! Potions starts in 15 minutes" Harry sat right up, his eyes wide. Hermione sighed and threw him an apple, which he caught in his right hand. Harry and Ron had only gotten 'E's on their OWLs in potions, but there were not enough students with 'O's to fill up the potions class so they had also gotten into the NEWT class. Hermione had of course gotten an 'O' like most of the slytherins, even if Snape didn'g give the OWLs grades the slytherins had a bigger chance for higher grades since Snape had taken it upon himself to make sure that the slytherins were good at potions.. and they didn't have him breathing down their necks all the time.

Ron had suggested that they should give up potions entirely, but Harry wouldn't do that, he needed his grades so he could become an auror one day so Ron had continued as well.

"You missed breakfast, we tried to wake you up but you just wouldn't listen. We almost went to madame Pomfrey. Here's your schedule."Hermione put the timetable on his nightstand. "Hurry up, we're gonna be late" She looked at him sternly and left the room. Harry sighed and quickly changed into a new set of robes, he gattered his books and ran down to the common room with his bag in one arm and the apple in the other one, he had no intentions of getting late to one of Snape's classes.

The common room was empty except from Ron and Hermione who were waiting at him on the couch in front of the fire.

"Come on, we have to hurry up now" The brown haired girl said and rushed out from the portrait hole, everyone knew how much she hated to be late. Ron shrugged and followed her, with Harry right behind them. He catched up on them and they walked down to the dungeons with big steps.

"What exactly are the odds that have potions the first thing in the morning?" Ron asked "Honestly, I swear that Snape will dock more points from gryffindor then we can count." Harry sighed, he was pretty used to Snape's grim self, but he couldn't really figure him out, he was sure that he saw something glinting in his eyes at the feast but he wasn't sure of what it was.

"Yeah, I really don't wan't to deal with Snape this early in the morning." He muttered, he could remember the night Snape had come to the infirmary, he had actually been nice to him when he showed him how to use the pensieve, maybe he did care. But why should he? Why the change of heart? _Probably pity _Harry thought, but still that was something. He never thought that Snape would pity him or maybe he was just completely wrong, maybe he hadn't changed at all, maybe he was the same bitter man as Harry remembered from last year.

"I hear that." Ron said and suddenly turned serious. "So, how are you feeling? Me and 'Mione got pretty worried yesterday"

"I'm fine" Harry smiled, he was glad that his friends cared so much for him. Even if they could get on his nerves sometimes. "I just hit my chest pretty hard but it's better now." Ron smiled too and they reached Snape's class. They waited outside with their classmates, Malfoy and his sidekicks had not showed up yet. Harry knew that they had also continued with potions this year, he was really surprised that Crabbe and Goyle had gotten into the class.

Now when only a few people from each house had chosen to continue with potions they had all their classes together, there were mostly slytherins. Only Harry, Ron and Hermione were left from gryffindor, since they had to get their NEWTs in potions so they could try to become aurors. There were Justin Finch-Fletchey and Susan Bones from hufflepuff and Padma Patil, Terry Boot and Lisa Turpin from ravenclaw.

"Harry aren't you going to eat?" Hermione asked, staring meaningly at the apple still in his right hand.

"Not hungry" He said and put it down in his bag. He saw that she was going to argue about it and sighed, this was one of the times their meddling could get annoying. "Honestly, you guys needs to stop worrying about me." Hermione opened her mouth to protest but stopped herself and nodded.

"You're right Harry" She finally said, looking slightly hurt but she knew her friend, she knew that he didn't like it when people treated him like e little child. "But you know we're your friends and don't want you to get hurt."

"Well, isn't that cute" A voice drawled, Harry didn't have to turn around to know who it was, it was the same person who had taunted him and his friends for five years.

"Malfoy" Harry muttered, not bothering to face him, he was sick of their fights, why couldn't he just leave them all alone? Ron seemed to think the same thing, but he didn't think that ignoring him was the best way to solve things.

"Sod off" He growled through clenced teeth, he was not the person to forget things. The anger from yesterday flooded up inside of him within seconds.The hatred in his eyes shone brightly and his face was screwed up in disgust.

Malfoy smirked, knowing exactly how to push his buttons. Crabbe and Goyles were as usual at his side trying to look as dangerous as possible. Harry couldn't even remember hearing them say a single word in his prescence and began to wonder how close they really were to him.

"Now, now weasel" Malfoy drawled. "Let's be civilized here, you're acting like a poor person." Harry rolled his eyes, Malfoy's insults were so stupid, they all had the same point; Ron was poor. His red haired friend had had enough and growled angrily. He opened his mouth to retort but was once again interrupted by a teacher.

"Not fighting are we Weasley?" Snape cold voice rang through the dungeons, everyone went silent, afraid to anger the potions master. Ron felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he slowly turned around to face him. He gulped and tried the best to keep his voice steady.

"No, professor" He said, doing one hell of a job, keeping himself calm. The look on Snape's face could have made Voldemort run and hide. Clearly he wasn't in a good mood and nobody wanted to get on Snape's bad side when he was pissed.

"10 points from gryffindor" He sneered and walked past him. Ron let out a sigh in relief he hadn't realized he was holding and followed the rest of the students into the classroom, a couple of points meant getting away easy, everyone knew that Snape would dock more points from gryffindor within the next hour. Harry shot his friend a sympathetic look and sat down with him and Hermione at the table in the back of the room. It was completly quiet in the cold dungeon, the only thing that could be heard was the soft breaths from the students and the small dripping sounds of water that ran down the solid walls and fell down onto the dirty stone floor.

Everyone was staring at Snape, trying not to breathe to loud. The older mans gaze fell upon the class and a look of annoyance and disgust washed over his face. Harry swallowed hard, clearly Snape had not changed during the summer.

"I'ev prepared a whole year worth of lessons, with potions you _should _be able to brew without complications" He said dangerously in nothing more then a whisper, they whole class listened carefully, so they wouldn't miss a single word coming out of his mouth. Some of them even leant closer over their table so they could hear better. "But since your standards are so increadible low, I guess I can't assume that everyone will pass in my class." His eyes surprisingly landed on Ron instead of Harry and he could feel his best friend cringe beside him, not a single slytherin dared to snigger but there faces were screwed up in amusement. Snape sneered and turned around so he was facing the blackboard.

"Deflating draught" He snapped, causing a few students to jump.The two words appeared on the board with a flick of his wand. "It is a very powerful shrinking potion, everything swollen magically will return to it's original size, it works as a antidote to the _Swelling solution_. You'll work in groups of two. Page 137 in _Advanced potions making. _Get to work.. Now!"

Harry and Hermione paired up and Ron worked with Terry Boot. Harry set up the cauldron while Hermione gathered the ingredients, she opened the book and flipped through it. Harry looked at the instructions and felt at once very happy that he was doing this with Hermione, this potion was very complicated to brew.

"Cut up the wormwood" She said and poured some dark red liquid into the cauldron. "and put in the pieces while stirring." Harry did as he was told and checked his watch, the potion was going to boil for five minutes before putting in another ingredient. He sighed and looked around in the dim old dungeon, the air was filled with fumes in different light colours and a musty smell came with it.

A small gasp echoed through the cold room and Harry turned his gaze toward the table where Ron and Terry were working. Terry was sitting and staring at their potion with a big frown on his face, Ron bit his lower lip and glanced nervously at Snape, who was busy giving Justin and Susan a lecture about how they should handle the ingredients. A small spark flew out of the cauldron and created a puff of red smoke.

The potion which should have been dark shade of crimson had turned into light purple. It started to bubble and welled over the edges. Terry and Ron both looked horrified and exchanged worried glances as the potion started to attract more and more attention from the other students. Snape turned around and strode over to them, his dark cloak fluttering behind him. He closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten inside of his head.

"Weasley.. Boot, couldn't you even manage to do a simple potion as this!" He growled through clenched teeth and opened his eyes. "Read the instruction after adding the kneezle blood." Ron nudged Terry lightly in the arm and pushed the book towards him. They could all see that Snape was waiting impatiently, so Terry nervously picked it up and cleared his throat.

"C-cut up the wormroot and add it into the potion while strirring c-clockwise." He read quietly. Snape sneered and bent down closer to the boys.

"Clockwise, Boot. _clockwise._" He snarled, Ron gulped, he didn't think about the way he stirred, he didn't really think that it mattered. "You did _not _stir clockwise, cause _if _you _had_ stirred clockwise, this potion wouldn't be _completly worthless_" With a flick of his wand the potion had disappeared. "Start over" with that Snape strode over to his desk and sat down with his face lowered to the papers on the wooden table. The slytheins were sniggering and Malfoy turned around and smirked at Ron. His gaze fell on Harry and his smirk widened.

Harry prepared for the insult that was coming but it never came and Malfoy turned around back to his potion, he still hadn't missed the look of pure hatred and disgust in his cold grey orbs. He could have sworn that he saw Snape frown at Malfoy's head, there it was again. Snape's eyes had lost that cold look and it looked like he was in deep thoughts, even when he was thinking he never used to drop his guard like that.

Harry was confused; after the fifth year Snape had acted like his old bitter self, but he couldn't forget about that night in the hospital wing when he had helped him with the pensieve, Snape had actually been nice to him, or as nice as _Snape_ could be. Now.. Now he seemed even worse then anyone could remember him, maybe he had not changed at all, or maybe he had and was hiding it. Harry shook his head in defeat, he could not figure it out, it was simply too confusing.

"Harry, pay attention" Hermione snapped. "No wonder you keeps getting 'D's. Now, add the sopophorus beans and I'll cut up the Asphodel" Harry picked up a green and bulbous ingredient and put it into the cauldron, he added three more and stirred clockwise three times. The potion turned into a rather thick blood-red shade, Hermione waited for half an minute and put down the asphodel, there was no change in the potion. She sighed in relief, you had to wait at least thirty second before you could put it in but no longer then thirtythree, potions were really complicated and you had be really careful or it could expload.

"Okay, now, Harry could you go and get some valerian roots? we forgot them." Harry nodded, Hermione was the expert, he mostly just did as she told him to and it all worked out in the end.

"2 points to gryffindor" Snape muttered 30 minutes later when everyone had done their best with the potion, he put away the quill, which was now small as a needle, he had used Harry and Hermiones potion on. Low gasps were heard from all around the room, no one could remember the last time Snape had given gryffindor points. The class was dismissed , Ron grabbed Harry and Hermione and hurried out of the dungeouns.

Snape scowled at the students as he watched them leave, he sighed, sat down behind his desk and rubbed his temples. He had a killer headache and all those cheery hufflepuffs and ravenclaws in his earlier class had not helped at all. He had not looked forward to teaching anymore today, although he had been interested to see how Po-Harry was doing, he was still (even though he hated to admitt it) concerned that he was going to suffer mentally from the abuse. The boy seemed perfectly fine, which made Snape wonder; is he really okay with everything that had happened? Is he hiding his feelings? It was impossible to tell and he simply had to see if Harry's behavior changed anything.

Snape sighed in frustration and burried his face in his hand. _Why do I care? _he thought, he had never cared about the boy before. He had always thought that he was a spoiled little brat like his father, but now.. He knew now that Harry wasn't a little kid looking for everyones attention. He was surprised that the boy was so helpful and nice to everyone even though he had been treated like dirt for 16 years by his relatives. He had seen a lot of abused children who couldn't let anyone into their life, stayed by themselves, holding a grudge against the world, too scared and paranoid to go out.

But _maybe_ Harry was going to be alright, he'd already proved himself to be really special.

■

"Can't wait to see how this new defence against dark arts teacher is." Ron said eagerly and sat down with Harry and Hermione at one of the tables in the front of the classroom.

Both of his friends ignored him since none of them had the energy to explain about Hermione's vampire theory.

They sat in silence for five minutes as the classroom filled up with people, to Harry's surprise Draco Malfoy had chosen to continue with defence against dark arts, although none of his goons were with him so instead he sat down with Blaise Zabini another slytherin boy, with black hair and hazel eyes.

The door opened again and everyone turned around at the creaking sound that was heard, to their surprise no one was there. Harry shrugged and turned around. He started and saw Hermione do the same; there in front of them were no one else then Tom Nuit, the students in the class was to say shocked, no one had seen him come in.

"Hello class" He said, he spoke clearly in a voice that demanded respect and everybody's attention. "I am your new defence against dark arts teacher, my name is Tom Nuit and yes; I _am _a vampire." A few gasps were heard from all around the room, Ron's eyes widened as he understood what Hermione and Harry had been talking about at the feast.

"I knew it!" A voice exclaimed from the back, Harry turned around and stared at Dean Thomas who shrunk back in his chair as he felt everyones gaze upon him. Tom chose to ignore him and continued.

"That's why I'm going to tell you about my kind today, I'm not going to have a long talk about grades or anything like that so I'll begin right away." He said and looked around in the class, his eyes rested on Harry, who gulped, he felt really exposed under the mans gaze. "I know that when you think of vampires you think of a bunch of monsters that feeds from blood, don't worry I'm not going to suck you dry." He winked and a few students laughed nervously. "It's not the blood itself that's the thing for us, but the life, power and energy in it. When you're _turned, _a demon takes over a part of you, a demon that craves blood, but _some _vampires don't bite humans and for those there is other things; blood-pops, blood potions and such... Yes, mr ..?" Dean had raised his hand.

"Thomas, sir." He said. "I have a question; if you're a vampire.. Don't you have any fangs?" Tom chuckled and parted his mouth slightly, exposing his pearly with teeth.Two of his upper teeth began to growand turn pointy and soon he had a pair of long sharp fangs.

"We can't go around like this all day, it would be too obvious." He explained and his teeth went back to their original size. "We can choose whenever to bare our fangs." Terry Boot raised his hand.

"Yes, mr.. Boot, right?" Terry nodded. "Ah, I'm quite familiar to your uncle Augustus Boot, great man.. Great man.. You had a question?"

"Yes, sir." Terry hesitated for a second. "I was wondering. How can you teach at hogwarts with all the windows and.. sunlight, I thought tha--"

"Ah, yes" Tom muttered and slid a hand through his long smooth hair. "Professor Snape is so kind and has been brewing me a potion so I can stay in the sun, I only have to drink it once a day. It sound simple and I know that you must be thinking 'why doesn't just every vampire do it?' but this potion is really rare and takes a month to brew, not many bothers with it, in my case it was necessary. Any other questions?"

Dozens of hand shot up in the air, Tom chuckled and proceeded to answer to the students and their questions. Harry smiled softly, this was so much better then Umbridge.


	11. Falling Back Into Depression

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: I'm back with another chapter. Nothing more to say then; Radiohead - Creep. Fucking awesome song ;)

Warnings: Abuse, angst, torture, laguage, violence and such. Rated 'M'.

Disclaimer: Jag äger inte Harry Potter, JKR gör det ;)

* * *

Chapter Eleven: Falling Back Into Depression

"I'll see you guys later, I have to do something" Harry called as they left the classroom. The first lesson with Nuit had been very instructive, he had spent the rest of the class answering questions and talking about similarities between real vampires and the once in the stories. For example, real vampires didn't have a problem with garlic, but they couldn't handle crosses or holy water.

Harry made his way over to the common room, he yawned and spoke the password to the fat lady. The common room was empty it was lunch and the most students were down in the great hall. He went up the stairs to the dormitory, where he threw down his bag onto the floor with a small thump.

Sighing he sat down on his bed and rubbed his temples, he had started to feel dizzy in class and had a magure headache. He clutched his sore chest. Why was he feeling this way? He thought that everything would be fine, he hadn't thought about the abuse since he and Ron left the hospital wing to go flying, although madame Pomfrey _had _warned him about it.

A new wave of dizziness swept over him and black spots clouded his eyes. He lay down on his bed and pressed his cool hands against his forehead. Maybe if he just lay there instead until the next class he would feel better. Was he only imagining it or was his chest throbbing?

His mouth felt dry and his breaths quickened. The black spots were growing and the room felt more and more distant. Everything was so quiet, his ears were throbbing and he could almost hear his rapid heart beat.

He felt a pressure on his chest, like a huge stone was pressed against his fragile form. It was blocking the air trying to get to his lungs. Darkness took over as his eyes fluttered closed and he began to wheeze in an attempt to get air, the lack of it was starting to make him giddy.

His eyes felt heavy and he didn't know if he had fallen asleep of simply fainted, all he could see was the darkness devouring him

_"Aaw..."a voiced mocked and images begin to form in front of Harry."Didn't you like our little game?"_

_Harry whimpered and Vernon laughed evilly, grabbing both of the boy's arms and pulling him into Harry's bedroom. He let go and his nephew's arms fell down limp at each of his sides. Vernon then picked him up again and threw him on to the small bed  
in the corner of the room. There was a pair of manacles around the bedpost and Harry shuddered when he noticed them. His uncle grabbed his wrists and chained them to the bed. Harry began to struggle weakly but the chains held him tightly._

_Vernon undid his belt, smirking evilly, and Harry began to thrash and kick frantically. His uncle approached him, his belt raised in the air, and brought it down onto Harry's chest. The imprisoned boy's scream of agony filled the room followed by the sound of the belt once again coming in contact with flesh._

_The boy lost count of the number of times the belt hit him. Only a couple of seconds later, the blood began to flow freely down his chest--his shirt had been ripped open and was smothered in fresh blood._

_The piercing pain increased with every lash, as his skin was slashed open repeatedly. Red marks were covering his pale skin, hidden under the blood streaming down over his stomach and dripping on to the white sheets, creating a sickeningly large red puddle. Vernon became tired of the belt and threw it aside. He began to search through his pockets and pulled out a big knife._

_"Harry" Someone was shaking him._

_"No" he whispered and tried to pull away from the tight grip on his arms._

_"Harry!" _

He began to thrash around in the bed and fell to the floor with a thump. He lay still on the floor without any energy at all to move, he slowly opened his heavy eyelids and squinted to get a better look through his blurry view.

He could clearly make out two pairs of feet moving towards him and raised his head to see a red mop of hair. He let Ron and Hermione pull him up to his feet and the two of the helped him to sit down on his bed. He reached out and grabbed his glasses from the nightstand.

He was shaking badly and cold sweat ran down his pale forehead. Ron sat down on the edge of the bed next to his best friend and stared at him reassuringly trying to make him feel better - it wasn't working at all.

"Harry" Hermione whispered. "What happened? We came here to get you, you missed lunch and charms" Harry shrugged, he had wanted to avoid this subject, he knew where it was going and what she would ask later.

"I came up here to rest a little and fell asleep. Had a nightmare" He explained, it wasn't a lie but still not the whole truth. He hated to lie to his friend but he knew that if he told them about everything they would take him to madame Pomfrey without doubt.

"About what?" The brown haired girl inquired, Harry knew that she would continue to push him futher about it until she got an answer.

"Was it Voldemort?" He stayed silent for a couple of second, debating to himself if he should tell the truth. He slowly nodded his head 'Yes' and felt slightly guilty about lying to his best friends, but they couldn't know, Harry didn't want to go back to the infirmary, he knew that Dumbledore would insist that he had to talk to someone about it to help him through it and he didn't feel ready for it.

"It happeneds all the time, I'm fine" He said. "Honestly, Dumbledore said that it was normal with nightmares now when Voldemort was getting stronger." Hermione and Ron seemed to believe him and nodded. Harry put on a fake but reassuring smile and grabbed his bag from the floor. He ignored the headache and empty feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Let's go" He said to Ron and Hermione. "I don't want to miss another class today, first day remember. Herbology right?" Ron shrugged and Hermione nodded, Harry rolled his eyes, laughing and followed his friends down to the common room. They had to run down to the greenhouse but still got five minutes late.

"Like I said before mr Potter, mr Weasley and miss Granger came bursting in five minutes late" Professor Sprout spoke to the class as the trio sat down at a table in the back with Neville, they were all panting heavily and their cheeks were flushed from running so far. Hermione looked so embarrased about getting late, the first day and all.

Professor Sprout had docked fifteen points from gryffindor, one for every minutes they were late and each one of them. Neville smiled brightly at the trio. Harry smiled back, he had always liked Neville, he was a true friend and a great person, someone just needed to tell him that more often.

His favorite subject was herbology and he was the only gryffindor besides the trio in the class, mostly there were hufflepuffs and ravenclaws, Malfoy and his croonies had not chosen to continue with the subject, nor Pansy and her little group of slytherin girls. In fact the only slytherin in the class was Blaise Zabini, Harry was surprised he had always thought that all the slytherins would drop herbology. When he thought about slytherins he didn't exactly see them as people who enjoyed working with plants.

Zabini was a tall, tan boy with dark ebony hair, his deep brown eyes were dazzling and held a mysterious glint in them. Harry didn't know much about the taller boy except from that he was a friend of Malfoy. Blaise were leaning back in his chair with his feet stretched out under the table and his arms behind his head.

He was sitting with Terry Boot, the brown haired ravenclaw. He was staring at Blaise suspiciously, they had not chosen to sit together exactly. When Blaise had gotten to class there had only been two tables with room left, with Terry or Neville and everyone knew that slytherins did not hang out with gryffindors.

Blaise closed his eyes with a look of pure bliss upon his face, he licked his lips slowly. His cherry coloured tongue caressing his lower lip in what seemed like slow motion. Harry noticed Terry staring at him and he had to stop himself from snorting. Was Zabini trying to get Terrys attention?

Harry shook away the thought and tried to pay attention to professor Sprout but he simply couldn't keep his mind to her lecture

He had a certain urge to use his pensieve, ligthen his mind. He knew that it didn't help completely but his heart did feel lighter and his mind clearer every time he placed some of his bad memories within.

"Harry?" Ron nudged his side lightly. "What are you thinking about?" Harry shrugged.

"Nothing really" He said. "I'm pretty bored, I want to go flying or simply be anywhere else but here right now" Ron eyed professor Sprout for a second and turned his attention back to Harry.

"Harry, you don't look to good" He said loudly, Hermione broke away her gaze from the professor and looked at her friend, biting her lower lip. "You're pale and.." He placed his hand on Harry's forehead. A few more people turned around and stared at the two. "You're burning up, are you feeling ill?"

Harry blinked before he understood what he was doing, professor Sprout had stopped talking and were with the rest of the class staring at him. He nodded and ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it slightly.

"A little" He said weakly, Ron looked like he was holding in a snigger, but took a small breath and kept his face straight.

"Maybe you should get some rest" He suggested and shot him a meaningful look. "I mean if your not feeling well, that is" Harry stood up and grabbed his bag. He walked over to professor Sprout.

"I think I need to go and see madame Pomfrey" he said and coughed weakly. He could hear Ron snort from behind and held a grin playing on his tongue. Professor Sprout nodded.

"Of course if you're not feeling well, mr Potter" She said. Harry turned around and walked to the door, he met Ron's gaze who winked at him and left the greenhouse.

He ran back to the castle and wondered where to go as he remebered why he had left at all; the pensieve. He had to gather himself up so he could get through the rest of the day. So he ran back to the common room, to his dormitory. He got a strong feeling of deja vu as he threw down the bag on the floor.

This time he walked over to the pensieve at once. He picked up the wand from his pocket and pointed it at his temple. He leant closed to the stone object and closed his eyes tightly.

_Pain. Pain. Pain. He could not see, not hear, not talk nor move. The only thing he could register was the large amount of pain  
in his body. Punch after punch landed on his poor, defenceless, bruised form. Kick after kick collided with his already bloody figure. _

A thin silver line was forming from his head as the memory, the pain, replayed itself inside of his head. He was so lost in his memory. A soft hissing was heard inside of his head. The sudden noise made him jerk, the connection broke and Harry pulled his sore hand against his chest, he had hit something hard.

He opened his eyes just in time to see his pensieve fall down to the ground, he reached out to grab it but it was too late. It hit the hard floor with such an force that it split in two.

Harry gasped as his thoughts and memories ran out to the ground. The silvery substance disappeared and turned into grey fumes in the air.

Like an invisible force Harry flew back a few meters onto the floor, his back aching from the fall. He tried to sit up but it was like something was holding him back down.

He slowly lifted his head and stared at the pensieve, the fumes were swirling quickly and turned into shades of black and dark grey, mixing into each other.

_"BOY! GET DOWN HERE"_ The voice echoed through the room, it wasn't in his mind. He could hear it clealy, along with soft whimpers and sobs.

More voices rang through the air but all from the same person.

_"Worthless freak!"_

Harry was shaking badly right now because of the tension in the air. He had put all his horrible memories inside that pensieve and now he were stuck with them inside of that room.

He could feel the hate, taste the blood hear the taunting laughter.

The fumes - the memories - were swirling faster and faster, it began to flow around in the room like it was looking for something. Harry began to doze off. A bright light appeared in front of him and it took him several second to realized that it was the memories, they had turned into a white shade and soared above him.

A cold sensation swept through him as the fumes touch his skin and went into his body. The voices became louder and didn't feel as distant anymore, it was like someone was shouting inside of his head.

The memories replayed themselves in his mind like he was actually there.

_"GOOD-FOR-NOTHING WASTE OF SPACE" _Harry groaned, it felt like someone was kicking him in the stomach, he curled up into a tight ball to protect himself.

_V__ernon raised his fist and jammed into his nephews face._

Harry grabbed his nose and he felt a sensation of something prickling down, touching his lips lightly, running down onto his chin and dripping onto the floor. It was impossible for him to protect himself from something that wasn't there. What was happening?

_A heavy_ boot _collieded with Harry's chest._

Harry gasped as the wind was knocked out of him and his vision was fading away. The white light around him entered him and more and more memories played itself to him, the pain, so real that it was scary.

Darkness embraced him but not even then the memories stopped, the pain never left and neither did that taunting voice inside of his head;

_"Didn't you like our little games?"_


	12. Darkness

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: TODAY 17/11 - 05, 21.00 I'M GOING TO SEE HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE! AH! CAN'T WAIT! SO EXCITED! ;) ONLY A FEW HOURS! IIH! When I finished this chapter, it's five hours and 22 minutes left! ;)

Warnings: Abuse, violence, language and all that a story really needs. M-rated. ;)

Disclaimer: I'm not even going write anything this tim-- DAMN IT!

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Darkness

_He couldn't move, couldn't talk, it was like in the coma. Except from this time there were no white light, that peacefull healing feeling was all gone. He no longer felt safe, but rather scared and nervous._

_The memories were playing themselves over and over again, no matter how hard Harry tried to get away.. he couldn't. They were surrounding him and there were nowhere to go, since it was happening inside of himself. _

_He wanted it to stop, tha pain, the memories, everything, he wanted everything to end.. to be over. _

_"Wortheless good-for-nothing" Harry tried to shut everything out but it was impossible. He watched every painful memory and wished it to be over, but it wouldn't stop. What was happening?_

* * *

"Harry, wake up" Hermione shook the unconscious boy, his head fell limp to his other side but he stayed still on the floor. She nervously pushed aside the hair hanging over his forehead and touched it gently.

"He's burning up" She said to Ron who stood behind her with a worried expression on his face. Maybe he shouldn't have done what he did in herbology but he only wanted to help his friend. "Harry! HARRY" No matter what the brown haired girl tried Harry wouldn't wake up.

His face were screwed up in something that looked like fright and his arms lay helplessly on each of his sides. Hermione grabbed one of them and checked for a pulse on his wrist, she sighed in relief, he was alive.

"We need to get professor Dumbledore" She cried and stood up. "Wait here I'll run and get him." Ron nodded and took Hermione place, kneeling down on his friends side. He grabbed one of his pale hand and sqeezed it tightly.

"Hang in there, mate" He muttered, his hand were shaking and lips trembling. Hermione shot the two of them a last look and rushed out of the dormitory to get Dumbledore.

She ignored Ginny's calls as she ran out of the portrait hole, she knew where Dumbledore's office were, she had been there a few times before. She ran past a group of hufflepuffs and reached the gargoyles outside the headmasters office. She swore to herself, she couldn't get in without the password. Frantically she began to ramble all the sweets she could think of.

"Ice Mice" The gargoyles stayed still. "Jelly slugs, acid pops, chocolate frogs, Bertie Botts every--"

"Ms Granger" A voice sneered from behind her, Hermione turned around, she had never been so happy to see Snape before. She ran a hand through her bushy hair, breathing heavily, her face was flushed and sweat ran down her forehead. Dumbledore's office did not lie near the gryffindor tower.

"Professor Snape" She cried and took a deep breath to keep herself steady. "I need to talk to professor Dumbledore, it's urge--"

"Urgent?" Snape interrupted, sneering. "It's always urgent when it comes to the golden trio." Hermione turned around back to the gargoyles and tried a couple of more sweets, she was growing impatient, her friend was in danger and she couldn't do anything to help without Dumbledore. Snape watched her as she let out a frustrated shriek.

"I mean it professor" She shouted and brushed back her hair. "I need to talk to him. It's important, it's about Harry." Snape blinked, what had happened to the boy now? had he finally had enough?

"What happened to him?" He blurted out before he could stop himself. Hermione looked shocked at first that Snape actually seemed to care but shook it of.

"I don't know, we can't wake him up" She cried. "Ron's with him in the common room. I need to talk to Dumbledore"

"Dumbledore is not here today" Snape explained. "He's at the ministry, it's chaos there ever since the minister of magic quit" Hermione put her face in her hands as a sign of defeat and let out a small sob, Dumbledore wasn't there. What should they do now ?

"Come one miss Granger" Snape snarled and grabbed her arm, he pulled her up harshly and pushed her forward. "Show the way" Hermione blinked the tears away and rushed back to the common room with Snape right behind, she nearly shouted the password and ran up to the boys dormitory.

A few students looked surprised to see Snape in the gryffindor tower but didn't dare to say anything about it. The door flew open and Hermione burst into the room where Harry was lying on the floor. Ron sat next to him with one of his arms resting lightly on the boys chest and the other one was still holding on to his friends hand.

"Ron?" the redhead turned around and stared at her in disbelief as he noticed Snape. The older man ushered him away and knelt down to take Harry's pulse again. He used two of his fingers to open the boys eyelids, his green orbs had turned darker like they did everytime he was angry of scared.

Snape let go of the boys face with a thoughtful expression on his face, he looked around in the room and noticed the broken pensieve next to one of the beds.

Carefully he placed one of his arms underHarry's knees and the other one under his neck, slowly he lifted the light boy whos head tilted to the side and rested on the older mans chest.

Without giving Ron or Hermione a second look, he walked downstairs. How could he have been so stupid? he shouldn't have given him that pensieve without telling him to be careful, he shouldn't have let a boy deal with something like that.

A loud chattering burst out in the common room as Snape walked through and out the portrait hole with their hero in his arms, you could clearly make out the raven mop of hair and the skinny pale arm dangling down with every step Snape took.

Hermione and Ran followed their potions master and had to almost run to keep up with him, who was walking as fast as he could without dropping the boy.

"Sir" Hermione said breathlessly. "What.. is wrong with.. him?" Snape sighed in frustration, sometimes he couldn't put up with all those caring gryffindors. He might not be completely heartless but he was still a Snape.

"I'll explain later" he muttered and quickened his pace towards the infirmary. It was just Harry's luck, everything seemed to be fine but now.. Something was clearly wrong and Snape had a pretty clear idea of what it was.

* * *

_How long had it been going on? it seemed like years of pain past by in only a few minutes. Not a single sign of hope could be seen in the dark. _

_The air was filled with fright and hatred. It was hard to explain what it was like, it was like he was a part of the surroundings._

_He didn't have eyes, but he could still see everything that happened to him._

_He didn't have a nose, but he could still smell the blood and sweat._

_He didn't have any ears but he could still hear the laughter and the cries of help.. and it wouldn't stop. Everything seemed ten times worse when you had to watch it, feel it, hear it all over again. and again.. and again.. _

_

* * *

_

"Now tell us.. What's wrong with him?" Hermione asked her voice shaking. Madame Pomfrey scowled slightly and looked at the boy in 'his' bed. He was once again tucked under the white smooth sheets, it was bothering her that he had to return there after all he had been through and Poppy thought that he deserved to be happy.

"I'm not sure" She said. "But it seems like he is in some kind of coma again. I don't know what caused it though." She sighed and flattened the sheets on his bed.

"I believe I can answer that" Snape spoke up, the three other people in the room turned around to the potions master, waiting for him to continue. "Well.." He started. "Miss Granger you are well aware about the functions of a pensieve aren't you?" Hermione nodded frantically eager for Snape to get to the point.

"Of course you do.." He continued, sneering. "Well then you know that a pensieve is a kind of object that will hold your memories, _store_ them, like if you have to much on your mind or if some of them are simply bothering you. What memories do you think Potter put into it?"

"His uncle" Ron said suddenly. "Memories of his uncle and what he did to him"

"Good, Mr Weasley, you are really bright" Snape said his voice dripping with pure sarcasm. Ron blushed and looked away muttering something that sounded very much like 'well, you asked'.

"Anyway, what I'm trying to tell you is that.." Snape continued, taking his eyes of the redhead. "Potter put all his memories in the pensieve but apperantly it broke and split in two. When it broke the memories flew out, the only thing that can store them except from a human being is the pensieve and since it broke, they were all dragged back to were they were created."

"Harry" Hermione whispered sadly as she understood. Snape nodded.

"Yes, all those memories he has been trying to avoid came flooding back tonight, this has happened before. A witch or wizard get stuck in their memories in something like a coma. Sometimes they wake up only minutes later but some get stuck for months even years, Potter has to get out of those memories back into the real world or you could lose him."

"I suggest that you try to find a way to give him a little push back, the longer he stay the harder it will get for him to ever return. You can try to talk to him all you want but I doubt that he will hear you, this isn't like a normal coma lika I said, he's mind is not even here. and.. and I'm guessing that it will take longer for him to recover because all of his memories are rather.. well, they aren't really pleasant memories"

Snape stopped talking, Ron, Hermione and madame Pomfrey had all gone really pale. This wasn't fair, Harry didn't deserve to suffer like this. Hermione sat down at the all too familiar chair on Harry's side, she grabbed his hand and got a strong feeling of deja vu.

"He was going to be okay" She whispered. "He was getting better." She lowered her head slightly and sqeezed his hand gently. She brushed away the hair falling into his face, exposing a small bruise over his left eye. The charm was wearing off and soon all of his bruises and cuts would show.

A part of Hermione knew that he was going to be fine, Harry had done so much in his life, this was not the end for him, he just needed to find the right way and he had his friends to guide him.

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and turned up and met Ron's blue eyes.

"He'll be fine" He said softly, Hermione could hear the sadness in his voice and knew that he was trying to convince himself that exact same thing. "I hoped that we wouldn't be here in the infirmary for a while"

"You should go" madame Pomfrey said softly. "Get some rest, he probably won't wake up for at least a couple of hours." Hermione sniffled loudly, Snape had said that some people even stayed like this for years, but she did as she was told and stood.

Ron wrapped her arm around her shoulders and lead her out of the room. Madame Pomfrey closed the door behind the two of them and turned to Snape.

"Can you watch him? I have to contact Dumbledore." She asked him, Snape was going to refuse, why did he have to get involved into all of this? Strangely he found himself nodding.

Madame Pomfrey left the room and went into her office right next to the hospital wing, she'd have to contact Dumbledore through floo powder, sending a letter by an owl would take too long, it would probably take days to reach him at the ministry.

Snape stared at the boy in the bed, a pair of strands of his raven hair hung down into his closed eyes. Barely visible uner the mop of tussled hair could a small scar be seen, Snape had never noticed how bright red it shone compairing to his pale skin, the lightening bolt ended rigt above the bruise over his eyes.

A few more bruises were visible now, when someone was in a coma they shut off their power and the charm set to hide his cuts and bruises were fading.Harry had to come in contact with his powers if he was going to make it back, but Snape didn't doubt that he would.

That small, fragile form held so much power. His right arm was on his stomach, purple lines went around the boys wrist, probably from the handcuffs.

He looked so innocent, but still so scared. Snape couldn't imagine what was happening inside of that mind of his. If you just looked at him you could think that he was dead, he was not moving an inch and it didn't look like he was breathing, only when you put your hand right over his mouth you could feel the tickling feeling of soft breaths on your skin.

The door to infirmary burst open and Draco Malfoy walked in with elegance only a Malfoy could muster. At the sight of his godfather he stopped in track, he did not smile even though meeting the older man made him feel happier then he had the entire day, although his eyes held warmth and happiness that no one could remember seeing in his usually cold silver eyes.

His hair was perfect as usual and a small strand hung down into his beautiful face, gracefully he brushed it away with two fingers. His creamy white skin was absolutely flawless, not a single scar, wrinkle or zit in sight.

His soft black robes fitted him perfectly, it went down around his thin waist and showed his muscular form. Yes, Draco Malfoy was completely stunning, not a single person on the streets could miss his beauty.

"Severus" He said, even his voice screamed 'elegance', the Malfoys were a family of very high class and very proud of their line of purebloods. "What are you doing here?" Snape tried to do the best he could to keep his godson from seeing the boy who líved without making it to obvious. He could only imagine the rumours that would be spreading aroud in the school if everyone found out that the light hero was in the infirmary.

"Who's that?" Draco continued curiously when Snape didn't answer, he tried to get a better look. He could see a black mop of hair and gasped in surprised as he saw his enemy lying there completely defenceless, he had never seen his this fragile before.

"P-potter?" He muttered, Snape nodded. Surprisingly Draco found himself unable to smirk or say anything insulting, he had always thought that he would feel different if he saw the boy who lived in a state like that.

"What happened to him?" Was he actually concerned? The same thought went throught he both slyterins heads and Draco was pretty shocked that Snape would be sitting next to Harry _James _Potter's bed in the hospital.

"Mr Potter has fallen into a coma because of a very traumatic experience." Snape said truthfully, seeing that his godsons intentions were good.

"Oh" The blond boy said sadly, not knowing what else to say. His enemy had all of sudden fallen into a coma and he found himself actually caring. What was there to say? A uncomfortable silence fell between the two of them before the younger one looked down at the raven haired boy in the bed.

"Is he going to be okay?"


	13. What Happened?

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: I've seen goblet of fire, IT ROCKED! I'm going to see it again in tomorrow, (20/11-05) :D can't wait. Magure authors block inthis chappie :S Anyone saw gof? what did ya think of voldemort? Lucius disturbed me in the graveyard. Some of you might know what I mean.

Warnings: 'M'-Rated because of abuse, violence, laguage and such.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter..

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: What Happened?

Draco Malfoy was shocked beyond belief, he found himself thinking about Harry Potter for the third time that day since he had seen the fragile hero only the night before in the infirmary. He would never cease to be amazed; Snape seemed to care about the boy.

There were something about the sight of Harry Potter, lying in the bed, completely helpless that made his chest tighten. He didn't have that cold look on his face that Draco always saw him with whenever he was around.

His enemy was in a coma, why wasn't he happy about it? He had hated Potter for five years and now suddenly something deep inside of him had changed, did he pity him? No, Malfoy's didn't pity people. Then what was it?

Respect? That might be it; he respected Harry Potter. Yes, that sounded right, Draco could not deny the power in the small boy and could not help himself from admiring the strength he held.

The last class of the day had just ended and Draco sat down by the lake, he always used to go there when he wanted some peace and quiet or some time to think.

He was not certain about his feelings towards Potter, did he still hate him? Could that one look of him in the hospital have changed all of his thoughts about him? He was still curious about exactly _what _had happened but Snape hadn't gotten into details that night in the infirmary. Draco had only been told that Potter was in a coma and would probably wake up in a couple of days or less.

_Probably? _Was Snape hiding something? Was Potter in a really dangerous state? Maybe he was dying. Maybe he had been attacked by death eaters orthe dark lord himself.

The image of the broken hero didn't seem to wanna leave his mind. _It's amazing what one little look could change._ He thought and his frown grew bigger, had he just confessed that his feelings towards his old enemy had changed? Maybe they had, so what?

Draco knew that a Malfoy did not show emotions, _weakness_. His father had always told him that feelings is humans weak spot and in the war you aren't aloud to have a single weak spot.

He had his friends of course and when he was around them he wasn't the same heartless person, everyone saw in the corridors. Showing emotions in public could be used against you and he knew that. So what if everyone thought that he was a cold bastard without any feelings at all? They didn't know him and Draco had learned long ago not to care about what other people thought of him.

He pushed away a strand of hair that always seemed to fall over his right eye and stood up. He hesitated for a second before he made his way up to the castle, he was going to see if his feelings had changed at all. He strode over to the infirmary with big steps, a few hufflepuff girls turned around and watched him walk away dreamily.

Carefully he pushed open the door to the hospital wing, he had to check if weasel and mudblood were there first. He didn't like anyone of them, but he really didn't have time for a fight and he knew that if he met them he wouldn't be able to hold back any insults.

The infirmary was empty. On the other side of the room there were a bed with it's hangings pulled over to keep away curious eyes. Draco made his way over there without making a single sound.

When he reached the bed he grabbed the soft hangings and for a second he did nothing. He took a deep breath and pulled the curtains open, exposing the fragile form. Harry looked even worse then yesterday, his hair was ruffled and wild as usual but his creamy white skin was now full of black and purple bruises. Draco gasped, he had not seen them yesterday, the only thing he could remember was the bruise right over his eyes.

You didn't have to see his beautiful emerald eyes to see that the boy was in pain. It was something about the featurs in his face that made Draco's chest tighten even more. He sunk down onto the edge of the bed, unable to take his eyes of the raven haired boy. The same question he had asked himself earlier came into his mind; What had happened to him?

By the looks of it he had gotten beaten real bad, but Potter would have been able to defend himself, right? He is one of the most powerful wizards in the world, unless it was so many of them; Death eater attack, or if he didn't have his wand, but Potter alway carried around his wand; must have happened during the summer.

But that couldn't be it, Potter had looked perfectly fine only days ago. On the nightstand next to the bed there was a big vase with red and golden flowers. _How very gryffindor _Draco thought and snorted. Next to them lay his dark wand and his black glasses. Draco never understood why he kept those when he could just fix his sight with magic, there were mostly people who grew up with muggles who actually kept their glasses.

Draco had never gotten such a close look on The Boy Who Lived before, his pale beautiful skin was covered in bruises and that made him look like an fallen angel, his messy, raven hair gave him a sweet, boyish charm which suited him perfectly. His mouth was full and cherry coloured, it was slightly parted and soft, small breathes escaped. His face would have looked beautiful if those bruises hadn't been covering him up, the bright scar on his forehead could be seen clearly on his white skin. He had almost feminime features that gave him a look of innocence only a child could hold. He was very short, he could clearly have been taken for a 12 year old and a short one for that matter, he was really petite and could definitely be classed as beautiful.

The sad look upon his was heartbreaking and Draco felt his inside turn. He heard a creaking sound and quickly spun around, Snape was standing in the doorway staring at him in shock. With a few long steps Snape had strode up to his godson.

"Okay, what have you done?" He snarled, Draco was slightly taken aback by his godfather's harsh tone. He blinked in confusion as he understood. Snape had thought that he was going to take advantage of Harry's weak state.

"I didn't do anything to Potter" He answered truthfully. "Nor was I'm planning to" He crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his silver eyes, the cold look clearly visible in the deep orbs. Snape eyed him sceptically for a second but shrugged it off, maybe he had changed his feelings towards Harry too.

Damn what was it about that boy! He had everyone wrapped around his little finger. Snape was still pretty unsure about Draco's intentions but didn't say anything for a couple of awkward seconds.

"Then what _were_ you doing here?" he finally asked. Draco, who had been staring at the floor, looked up and met the older mans gaze. He sighed and thought about what he was going to say. The truth? Should he lie? Would Snape believe whatever he said?

"I.." He started. Snape raised an eyebrown, waiting for him to continue. Draco quickly looked away, the dark haired man sure knew how to make someone nervous. "I was just curious about Potter" He finished, partly true. He was curious about what had happened to him and what it was about him that made even Snape act like a pleasant human being.

"What happened to him anyway?" Draco asked, hoping for an answer this time. As he suspected Snape didn't seem to want to tell him about it.

"I really don't have time for this" He snarled. "I was just getting some potions from madame Pomfrey." Draco didn't know if it was the truth or if he simply avoided the subject.

"Healing potions?" He inquired, trying to make the older man talk. He noticed that Snape didn't like all the questions and really didn't want to start a conversation.

"Not really" he answered and turned around, but Draco wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Then why do you get them here in the _infirmary_, I thought _you _were the potions master." He shot at him. Snape, clearly annoyed, turned back to the boy.

"Correct, mr Malfoy" He snarled. "I _am_, the potions master, but madame Pomfrey stores some of my potions and I have to prepare professor Nuit's weakly doze."

"What does he need a potion for?" Draco asked. Snape sighed in frustration, closed his eyes and silently counted to ten. Sometimes his godson could really get on his nerves. Usually Draco didn't ask so many questions and now he was acting like some chattery hufflepuff girl.

"Well, we wouldn't want out precious vampire to flame in the sun, would we?" Snape said through clenched teeth. Draco could hear the bitterness in his voice, he still wanted the position as the defence against dark arts teacher. Draco knew how pissed he got every time Dumbledore chose someone else for the job, he didn't understand it though, Snape loved potions, he would always sit in the dungeons brewing something when he felt stressed or simply bored.

Without waiting for Draco to answer the once again spun around and walked over to the in the other side of the room, leading to madame Pomfey's private dorms. He raised his hand and knocked three times.

"What is wrong with Potter?" Draco tried again loudly so Snape could hear him from all across the room. Without bothering to turn around Snape knocked three times again.

"None of your buisness" He snapped and the door opened. Madame Pomfey smiled warmly at Snape and let him into her dorms. Draco swore, why wouldn't Snape tell him about Potter? It was the light hero the whole world would probably find out sooner or later.

Draco sighed and stared at the flowers on the nightstand, Snape would probably not take long and he could try to make him talk some more when he got back.

He was right, about half an minute later the door to madame Pomfrey's door opened and Snape came out holding a little phial with some bright yellow liquid.

"Sev" Draco called. "Why the bloody hell can't you just tell me what happened to him?" He glared at his godfather and brushed away the strand of hair that always fell into his eyes with one quick movement.

"Why do you care?" He shot back angrily. If he had no intentions of taking adventage of Harry's state, Snape had no idea of why he wanted to know exactly. He knew that Draco was no angel, but he could with a little help of legilimens tell that he was not lying.

"I'm just curious" The blonde boy almost shouted. Damn it, why couldn't he just tell him? but on the other hand why _did _he care? He was curious, every question was built on curiousity but was it only that? Draco knew that he didn't like Potter, one look of him in the infirmary won't turn him all sweet and helpful.

No, Draco Malfoy had not changed at all, simply his hatred for The Boy Who Lived had changed. He didn't hate him, nor did he like him. He respected him; yes, but nothing more. He wanted to know who had caused the light hero those bruises, what had caused him to fall into a coma, because he was curious and respected Harry Potter.

Snape opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted as the door to the infirmary burst open and Harry's best friends walked in, they stopped at the sight of the two slytherins.

"What are _you _two doing here?" Ron growled and narrowed his blue eyes.

"Ten points from gryffindor, mr Weasley" Snape snarled. "Watch it how you speak to your teachers." with that he left the infirmary, with his cloak fluttering behind him. Draco strode towards the door gracefully, but stopped right next to Ron's side, a smirk playing on his lips.

"..or your surperiors" he drawled and walked past the two of them. No, Draco Malfoy had not changed at all.


	14. Welcome Back!

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: Wihuu, second time I saw Harry Potter and the goblet of fire :D (20/11-05, 16.00) So sorry this took so long, got abducted by aliens.

Warnings: 'M'-rated for abuse, violence, language, slash and stuff like that ;) Also Spoiler! 1-5th book.

Disclaimer: I! Own! Nothing!

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: Welcome Back! 

_He felt so tired, tired of it all. He didn't know how long it had all been going on, time didn't excist all there was, was pain.  
Harry could still hear the mocking laughter, see the painful memories and taste the blood. The metallic liquid filled the boy  
in the memories mouth and he could feel it as well._

_He felt so helpless, he could only watch himself getting punched time after time. It was still so weird to him; It was like he was a part of the surroundings but he could still feel every kick that landed on the raven haired boy._

_The laughter filled the air and echoed through him, although it started to feel more and more distant. The memories were  
getting slightly blurry. Harry was confused what was happening now? _

_I'm a dying? echoed through his mind. He felt like he was being pulled back, like a jerk behind his navel. Very much like a portkey._

_Everything went completely black in a matter of second and nothing could be heard, Harry had never appreciated silence  
like this before. Suddenly he felt like he was building up, it was so weird. It was like he was being reborn, like all the matter  
in his body gathered and then he felt heavier then he had gotten used to, he was back in his body, the memories were gone. _

_Still he couldn't move because of the sudden weight and the tiredness. He hadn't been able to rest during the memories and  
he had no idea of how long it had been going on. _

_The darkness seemed so tempting and he felt so dozed off. He felt so relieved when he finally fell asleep, without any  
haunting memories, if he only had stayed awake a couple of second more he would have been able to hear the encouraging voices of his best friends._

_

* * *

Hermione and Ron, the loyal friends they were, sat at the raven haired boy side, like they had for two hours straight. Hermione looked at the red and golden flowers she had bought him earlier. _

"He is going to get really behind in class if he doesn't wake up" She said, her voice trembling. Ron smiled sadly at her brave attempt  
to stay strong. He knew how much this affected her, he felt the same. It was just weird without Harry there with them.

"Don't worry, he'll do just fine." Ron said and put a comforting arm around Hermione's trembling shoulders. "He'll do just fine."

"I don't think we're talking about homeworks any more." The girl snuffled and smiled sadly. "But you're right, Harry's strong." Ron nodded, knowing that he wouldn't have been able to deal with everything Harry has been through.

Hermione heard small steps behind them and turned around with watery eyes. She smiled at the man in the room.

"Hello professor Lupin" She said with a rather steady voice. "Didn't hear you come in." Remus nodded at the both of them and sat down on Harry's other side.

"Please, call me Remus, I am not your professor any more." He said softly and grabbed one of Harry's small hands, he sqeezed it tightly and stroke the boy hairs in a protective manner. "How are you doing there, cub?" He whispered in a low tone. Both Ron and Hermione could see the heartbreaking look on the older mans face. They knew how much Sirius death had affected him, Harry was  
all that he had left after his best friend.

"He hasn't changed" Ron said and lowered his gaze. "S-Snape said that it could take weeks, even months and.." He trailed off and swallowed hard, trying to get the lump out of his throat.

"Harry" Remus spoke to the boy. "You gotta wake up soon, we all miss you so much." He stroke the boys cheek gently. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I just want you to know that we all love you so much and it's breaking out hearts to see you like this. Come back"

Hermione couldn't take it anymore and broke down into sobs and tears, Ron looked like he was close to tears as well but kept a straight face. He hated to see his best friends like this, Harry was in a coma and Hermione was so depressed, she didn't eat, she  
barely slept, she was taking all of this so bad.

Ron didn't think she deserved to be in so much pain, she had cried so much and he was worried for her health. He couldn't take it if something happened to her too, but he feared that if Harry didn't wake up soon she would completely break. Hermione was a very sensitive person and cared so deeply for the raven haired boy on the bed. She didn't have any siblings, and he was the closest thing to a brother she had ever had.

"Shh, it's okay" Ron spoke gently and hugged his friend tightly. A soft gasp made Hermione and Ron pull back and stare at the older man in the room, Remus stared at Harry without moving a muscle.

"Remus, wha--?" Ron started but the man sent him a look that told him to be quiet. The redhead took the note and watched him carefully, what was going on?

Remus sqeezed Harry's hand lightly again, waiting for him to confirm what had just happened. A couple of seconds of awkward silence past by and Ron and Hermione shot each other nervous glances, but none of them broke the silence in the room.

Suddenly he felt it again, Remus blinked as he felt the small hand tangled into his own sqeeze back slightly, it wasn't much it was weak and he almost didn't notice it the first time.

"Harry?" Remus bent down to the raven haired boy's faced and whispered his name in his ear. Hermione, the bright witch she is, began to understand, had Remus gotten any sign from Harry? She stared at the boys other small hand lying on the white sheets.

She almost fell off the chair, she could have sworn she saw one of his fingers flinch. Remus had his face close to Harry's and could hear the soft breathing against his ear. The boy's chest was now raising up and down with his breaths.

"Harry?" The older man tried again, the small boy didn't respond but it was clear that he was beginning to react to them."Wake up, cub" Another minute of silence fell upon the three persons in the room, they were all staring at the boy with hope shining in their eyes.

"What's going on?" Ron asked, confused, a couple of seconds later. "Is he waking up or not?" Remus broke away his gaze from the raven haired boy lying on the bed for the first time in several minutes.

"I think he is waking up" He answered. "At least he is starting to, he might be a little out of it at first but it sure looks like he is getting better" A huge smile appeared on his face. Remus put his elbows on the bed, now both of his hands grasping the boy's smaller one, like he never wanted to let go again.

"Go and get madame Pomfrey, Ron" He said, it was more of a question than an order. The redhead nodded and stood up, he patted Hermione on the shoulder one last time and left to madame Pomfrey's dorms.

"Professor?" Hermione asked after Ron had gone, turning to the older man.

"Remus" He said simply and smiled. "How many times do I have to ask you to call me Remus, I am not your teacher anymore." Hermione nodded and blushed slightly.

"Right. Remus. I.. erm.." She took a deep breath and looked him into his deep brown eyes. "I was wondering; do you think Harry will be fine?" Remus blinked, looking surprised for a second before answering.

"Yes I do, I think it won't take long before he wakes up--" He started but was interrupted by the girl, who were looking at him sadly.

"No, I mean.. Really _fine_" She said, Remus understood what she meant but didn't know what to say, he wasn't so sure himself. Pshyically he would get better of course, mentally.. Well, he guessed that eventually he would get better there too.

"Yes, I think he'll be just fine" He answered truthfully. Hermione smiled weakly as the door, for what seemed the thousand time that week, burst open and madame Pomfrey hurried out followed by Ron.

"What is it?" Madame Pomfrey asked with a hint of panic in her voice. "Did something happened to him?" Remus held up a hand to calm her down.

"No, Poppy" He said and the medi-witch relaxed at once, she had been so afraid that something had happened to the boy. There had been cases in which the victims in coma had died in while stuck in their memories. "I think he is waking up infact" Poppy blinked and grabbed the boy's left wrist, she checked his pulse and could feel the usual weak pulse, beating much harder and faster.

"I do believe that he has waken but he is not awake" She said with a smile playing on her lips at the three people bewildered looks. "He has waken up from his coma but I do believe he is sleeping." She explained with a small hint of a snigger in her voice.

"So he could wake up any second, right?" Ron asked, scowling in slight confusion. Madame Pomfrey nodded.

"Yes, any second, but he might be a little delusional and I want you to give him this" She walked over to a cupboard in which she kept a few of her most common potions. She grabbed a small crystal phial from on of the shelves with some light blue liqiud in it.

"Calming draught" She told them and held it up for them to see. "Give it as soon as he wakes up and then go and get me. Remember; we don't know what it was like in his coma, he has been trapped in his horrible memories for quite a while, do not crowd him! We don't know how this will effect him" Remus nodded. Madame Pomfrey put down the phial with the calming draught on the nightstand on the older man's side.

"I have some potions to finish now, but I will come back to check up on him later, tell me before you leave, so I know if I have to stay around him." She ordered and met each one of the three's gazes to let them know that she was very serious.

"I didn't know you brew potions, madame Pomfrey" Hermione said, looking utterly shocked. Ron - who didn't really care - rolled his eyes, shook his head slightly and a small, almost unhearable, sigh left his lips.

"Well you didn't think that professor Snape could make _all _of the potions by himself, did you?" Madame Pomfrey asked and winked. "I know my fair shares of healing potions, but all the complicated stuff is his job, he's awfully busy and I'm really thankful that he supplies us with the potions we ask for even though he hasbetter things to do. That is very nice of him."

Ron snorted. Snape? Nice? He was nothing more then an evil death eater without any human emotions. Ron couldn't believe that Dumbledore actually trusted him. Once a death eater always a death eater.

Madame Pomfrey of course knew what most of the students thought of their potions master and she couldn't really blame them. The older man had not exactly given them a reason for them to trust him, or even like him. Why he was so bitter all the time, she couldn't quite understand though and Snape was not the person to talk about his feelings.

Everyone thought that he was a heartless bastard but Poppy knew that he was only bottling up his emotions deep inside of him, he would probably never change that, in some pure-blood families, emotions was a sign of weakness.

Madame Pomfrey had been working at the school for over thirty years and remembered the boy with the crocked nose and the sallow skin as a very sad human being. He would come to the hospital wing sometimes, but _only _if something really bad had happened, if it was really necessary, he had always been very independent.

Remus could feel the anger coming from the medi-witch towards the redhead. He knew that she cared for Snape, she had grown a soft spot for him when he was only in his first year.

"Okay, so we give him the potion if he wakes up and then we get you." He said. Madame Pomfrey moved her gaze to the man and nodded. A couple of minutes later she left to continue with the potions she had been working on before Ron had knocked on the door to her dorms.

Ron, Hermione and Remus sat in silence only staring at Harry for several minutes like they were expecting him to wake up any moment, knowing that he was only sleeping.

Ron had gotten so bored with the waiting that he had at one point poked Harry in the side so he would wake up, he had earned a hard slap on the shoulder by Hermione and a death glare, so he sunk back in his seat, not wanting to wake the girls wrath.

Finally Harry began to stir and shifted slightly under the covers. He stopped at once and a small frown appeared on his face, his eyes were screwed shut and fluttered open, really.. Really slowly.

The three gryffindors in the room gasped at the sight that met them. Under the heavy eyelids a pair of eyes were exposed, although it was not the emerald orbs that met them but a pair of dull green/grey once.

Hermione stroke his forehead and pushed away a pair of strands covering his scar with two fingers. Harry flinched, trying to get away from the touch but was to weak to do anything else. Frantically he tried to say something but the only thing that kept coming out of his mouth was small gasps.

Remus grabbed the phial with the blue liquid within and opened it. Hermione grabbed Harry by the chin and held his head in place while Remus poured the potion down his throat. The boy shut his eyes for a second as he swallowed and blinked them open again.Ron for the second time that night stood up and went to get madame Pomfrey liked she had asked them to.

Harry didn't move or anything but whenever Remus or Hermione raised a hand to touch him he would let out small whimpers and they gave up and stared at him helplessly.

When Ron came back with madame Pomfrey, Harry started to whimper more, all he could see was four blurry figures standing around his bed.The medi-witch grabbed Harry's glasses from the bedside table and put them on his nose.

Now Harry could make out who they were and visibly relaxed, although you clearly see that he was still a little tense around them all.

"Harry?" Hermione asked and opened her mouth to say something else but madame Pomfrey interrupted her.

"Out you three, I have to heal this boy and he is clearly bothered by all the people in this room. Go." She said sternly, ushered them out of the room and turned her attention back to the boy, with a sad sigh she got to work.


	15. Midnight Stroll

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: New chappie. I know my last one was pretty boring, huge authores black and I just wanted to get it out of the way.

Warnings: 'M'-rated for **slash**, abuse, angst and such._ MAGURE OOC SNAPE IN THIS CHAPPIE_

Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter just as much as our team won the FLL 2005... God, now I'm depressed.

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: Midnight Stroll

Harry woke up with a start from another nightmare. Great, he had just gotten away from those memories in the coma and now he had nightmares about it. Just his luck. Sweat prickled down his forehead and he was shaking badly. Slowly he pushed himself into a sitting position.

The infirmary was dark, it must be really late. Harry threw his legs over the edge of the bed and stepped onto the cold stone floor, his whole body felt tired and sore. His stretched slightly, his limbs felt so tense. He looked around in the room searching for the object of his desires. Always after a nightmare of flashback Harry would turn to his pensieve, but now he realized that he probably wouldn't be seing it anymore.

What should he do? he needed to get away from the pain. Couldn't he at least get rest while sleeping? was that too much to ask for? The nightmares made it impossible for him to relax. Madame Pomfrey had looked over the scar over his chest and his other injuries, they was healing like planned, the only thing she was worried about was the mental damage, those memories could give him.She had been afraid that his brain would get enough and wouldn't be able to handle it anymore and he would have a mental breakdown.

Harry yawned and rubbed his bloodshot eyes, god he could use a good nights sleep. It had only been a days since he woke up but he was exhausted.

He went over to the potions cupboard and began to search through the potions madame Pomfrey stored there. He frowned, he couldn't find what he was looking for. He swore and walked back to his bed for his glasses that was lying on the nightstand.

Quickly he pushed them onto his nose, grabbed his wand and left the infirmary still wearing his PJ. He walked down the halls, deeper and deeper into Hogwarts. The raven haired boy jumped and let out a whimper at a shadow down the corner, as a habit he covered his face with his arms and curled up into a small ball on the floor, awaiting the pain that would follow.

Nothing came and the small boy peeked thourgh his pale fingers, no one was there. A small torch hung to the wall and the beautiful fire was flicking against the cold stone wall. Harry blushed in embarrasment as he realized that the shadow had come from there and was really glad that no one had seen him. Great he was getting paranoid now, afraid of small shadows, and he was supposed to be the savior of the world of magic.

Harry shrugged it off and continued walking down the long halls, as he gotten into the dungeons it became colder and darker, the fire light up the way and the walls were shining a bright orange colour around the torches. He walked a couple of minutes more, knowing the exact destination of where he was going, he didn't have to go far before he had gotten to the dark part of the dungeons, there were no torches of any kind so Harry had to watch the floor all the time so he wouldn't trip over something.

He reached his destination and mentally kicked himself for not bringing his invisibility cloak. He was standing in front of a dark mahogny door with a elegant silver knob. He lifted his wand and pointed it at the lock.

"_Alohomora" _He whispered and slowly turned it, trying to be as quiet as possible and pushed the door open. Carefully he peeked through it, seeing no one he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

He was in Snape's office. Not caring anymore about Snape finding him Harry began to search through his shelves, there were phial in big and small sizes, potions with colours from pink to gold and so many ingredients Harry didn't understand how the older man could remember all their names and functions.

He lifted a small elegant crystal phial and looked at it, the liquid had a shade of grey instead of the silver he was looking for. He put it down and sighed in frustration, there were so many things here how could he possibly find anything there?

"Looking for something, mr Potter?" A voice drawled from behind him. Harry felt the blood leave his face and slowly turned around, bracing himself for the lecture he knew was coming.

"W-what are y-you doing here?" He managed to stutter out. Snape raised an eyebrow at the raven haired boy.

"I could ask you the same question" He sneered. "This is _my _office." Harry gulped, damn, he was done for it now. "Are you looking for a potion?" The raven haired boy blinked and stared at the man in shock. When is the yelling starting?

"Yes" Harry whispered so low so Snape could barely hear him. He looked down at the floor not daring to meet the older man's eyes. _Here it comes _he thought, but to his surprise Snape did not yell, he sat down behind his desk and gestured for Harry to sit down in front of him. The boy who was grateful for not being yelled at, didn't want to give the man a chance to do so, so he did as ordered.

"What are you doing here exactly, mr Potter?" Snape asked, staring Harry deeply into the eyes. The boy looked away from his piercing gaze.

"I was looking for a potion" He mumbled, staring anywhere but at Snape, he knew that it was not point lying to the older man, he would find out since he was very good at legilimency and could sense lies.

"For what? Pain killer?" He inquired. Harry shook his head but said nothing. "Then what!" His voice was harsher then the man had intended to and regretted snapping at the boy as soon as he saw him flinch and pale.

"D-d-dreamless sleep p-potion, s-sir" He stuttered and began to fidget with his fingers, he was sitting up straight his muscles tense. Snape frowned, so Harry was suffering from the abuse during the summer.

"Nightmares?" He asked more softly this time. The boy didn't relax a bit and continued avoid the man's gaze, slowly he nodded.

"About what?" Snape already knew the answer but hoped for the boy to talk about it. He knew that it would be tough for him but it would help in the end, and if he wanted Harry to talk he had to earn his trust.

"T-t-the summer" Harry spoke, it sounded like it took a lot from him to say those two words. Snape was honestly shocked that he had said anything at all, he had actually begun to open up to Snape. _Severus Snape._

"Your uncle?" He inquired carefully, he didn't want Harry to shut down now and almost let out a sigh in relief as the boy nodded once again. "Want to talk about it?" Harry didn't say anything for almost a minute, now staring at his feet.

"Not really" He said, his voice was harsh and Snape was slightly taken aback by his sudden change from depressed to angry. He decided to use a different approach.

"I know how you feel" He said, Harry looked up and met the man's eyes, Snape was shocked by the boy's orbs, dull and emotionsless, probably from the coma, a wizards eyes expressed the persons power and since Harry shut down his magic during the coma for over a day it was expected. His magic would be weaker for a day or two, the same with his eyes, but they would gain their emerald sparkle too.

"I know how you feel" Snape repeated, Harry was surprised of the kindness in Snape's voice and felt uncomfortably exposed, under his piercing gaze. The older man could see the sceptical look in Harry's eyes and sighed. "Can I tell you something and trust you not to tell anyone else about it?" Harry blinked, Snape was going to tell him something personal? He nodded curiously.

"Well.." Snape stopped and took a deep breath. "I do not know how to begin, but.. As you saw in my pensieve last year I was not the most popular boy in school, actually I had very few true friends. My father was a very proud man, a proud pureblood. I haven't told a lot of people this but.. My mother was a muggle and my father hated her for that.. and me.." He stopped for a second and rubbed his temples.

"He thought that we were filthy, he really wanted a pure heir and got me instead. He used to beat my mother when I was a child and I hated him for that. I loved my mother and tried to stop him, but then he would turn to me. One night it got really bad, I could hear my parents shouting at each other from my room and then it stopped. I heard a loud crash and ran out to the kitchen, my mother was lying in a puddle of her own blood with my father standing over her."

Harry stared at the man with his mouth hanging open, he never thought that Snape had such an horrible childhood. He didn't realize that he was holding his breath and waited for the man to continue, not knowing if he wanted to hear what happened then.

"I killed my father." Snape said, his voice was emotionless and his eyes empty. "I was only ten and I killed him. My mother fell into a coma and died two months later." He spoke the last sentence with a emotionsless tone and lowered his head to his desk.

Harry didn't know what to say, he stared helplessly at Snape who had that emotionless expression on his face once again, he didn't want to know exactly how he had killed his father, he just wanted to run away and forget that this discussion had ever happened. Harry didn't have to respond as Snape continued.

"I have bottled up my feelings for my entire life and look where it got me; hated death eater." He laughed coldly and frowned. "I lived with my aunt until I started at Hogwart and during the summers, she didn't have any children herself but I enjoyed her company." He looked at Harry seriously, the boy's eyes were wide and his mouth hung open, he realized that he must have looked rather stupid and closed his mouth.

"I'm sorry" He whispered. "I had no idea" Snape nodded, he was too shocked, had he just told Harry _James Potter _about what had happened to him? Damn, hadn't he gotten over the fact that Harry was James son already? but still, he hadn't told anyone about it since he was a kid. It was something about the boy that made Snape feel safe to tell him about it, maybe it was because Harry sort of reminded him of himself. They had both been bullied, they were both halfbloods, they had both been abused and Snape had also lost his parents in a young age. Not as young as Harry though.

"Professor?" Harry suddenly asked, dragging Snape away from his thoughts. "Why are you telling me this? I thought you hated me"

"I do not hate you, I hated your father" The older man explained. "I disliked you and I realize now that you and your father are two different individuals and I shouldn't have judged you before I knew who you really are. I let a teenage grudge get i the way of my thinking, but don't take it too personal as you might have noticed I'm acting hostile towards the other students too"_Except from the slytherins _Harry added mentally.

"You still didn't answer my question, sir" Harry continued, wondering if he had pushed it too far, maybe it was to private for the man to answer, Snape didn't seem like the person to tell his enemys child about his abusive childhood.

"I wanted you to know that I know what you are going through and you can talk to me about it." He said. Snape hadn't changed from his cold hearted self, but he hated that someone else suffered like he did, he hadn't had anyone to talk to and look how he turned out to be; a bitter death eater, he was lucky that he had gotten another chance by Dumbledore.

"I don't think I can talk about it" Harry said and lowered his gaze towards the floor once again, scraping nervously with his shoes against the cold stone floor.

"Is there something wrong?" Snape asked.

"No, I'm fine" The boy answered still refusing to look up.

"Apparently there is something bothering you if you are up in the middle of the night going through my potions only wearing a PJ" Snape raised an eyebrow and Harry blushed, he had completely forgotten that he was still wearing his white PJ with blue stripes on. (PS movie xD)

"I told you I had nightmares" He snapped and crossed him arms over his chest.

"About the abuse and your uncle?" Snape inquired. Harry opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted and jumped as he heard a small thump by the door. He quickly looked around in the room with his back pressed against the chair, his mucles tense. A sigh of relief left his mouth, his heart was beating faster then before. He looked back at Snape who stared at him with his eyebrows raised.

"That's really none of your buisness" Harry snapped and narrowed his eyes. Snape glared at himfor his rude behavior, just because he wanted to help it didn't mean that he would tolerate his insolence.

"I respect that" He said through clenched teeth, he really had to control himself not to snap back at him, remembering that he would probably be very scared and jumpy after the coma. Although it was clear for Snape that Harry was bothered by something and was bottling things up.

"Can I have the potion then sir?" Harry asked, tapping his fingers against the desk.

"What?" Snape snapped out of his thought and stared at the raven haired boy.

"The potion!" Harry said slowly, raising an eyebrow. "The dreamless sleep potion." Snape didn't quite like the boy's attitude but sighed and stood up. He didn't want to stop Harry from healing and maybe the nightmares were to much for him to handle. He walked over to a shelf in the corner of the office and grabbed a small phial with some silver liquid in it and sat down again.

Snape held it out over the desk and the smaller boy quickly snatched it out of his hand, now he had the potion and would nothing more then to go back to the infirmary and get some well deserved sleep. He nodded thankfully at Snape and stood up, he made his way over to the door, ignoring the potions master's piercing gaze in the back of his neck. Harry was about to leave when a voice made him turn around.

"Potter!" Snape called, Harry stared at him in silence with a tired look on his face. "Ten points from gryffindor for breaking into my office." Harry clenched his teeth but nodded and opened the door.

"Good night, professor" He said angrily and stepped out of the office without waiting for a respond from the older man. As he closed the door he let out a frustrated sigh. Snape could be such and pain in the arse sometimes, but Harry guessed that if _he _had seen his father standing over his almost dead mother and then killed him, he would have been rather messed up too.

Harry still couldn't believe what he had been told that night and wanted nothing more then to forget that it ever happened. He put the potion inside of his pocket and blushed as he noticed for the second time that night that he was only wearing his white and blue striped PJ. He began to make his way back to the infirmary, not wanting to get caught by Filch or anything.

He began to wonder if Snape's horrible childhood might have been the reason that he became a death eater in the first place. Harry couldn't help but feel sorry for him and that confused him. Damn, why did Snape have to bother him with this? He didn't feel better, he felt worse having someone tell them about their worst experiance.

So Snape had been abused by his father and knew pretty much how he felt. He too had been hiding his feelings. _God, I'm not turning into Snape am I? _Harry thought and shuddered, the bare thought of himself sitting alone in the dungeon, brewing potions,was depressing. He shrugged it off and walked away to get some sleep and clear his mind, not knowing that a pair of silver orbs had been watching him, not knowing that he owner of the same eyes had overheared the entire conversation between himself and Snape.


	16. A New Way To Look At Things

**- In The Dark -**

Autoress Ramble: This chappie is over 4000 words, new record for me. ;D yeey. :P

Warnings: 'M'-rated for abuse, slash and such.

Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue.

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Chapter Sixteen: A New Way To Look At Things

"Harry are you awake?" A soft voice whispered, Harry tried to open his eyes but he was simply to tired, he had actually gotten a good nights sleep. The potion had worked and he hadn't had a single nightmare. He grunted in respons and felt someone brush away a strand of hair on his forehead, a cold hand was placed over his scar.

"The fever is going down" The same voice said, Harry could make out that it was madame Pomfrey who had spoken and remebered that he was in the hospital wing. He thought that he should have gotten used to waking up there by now. Harry opened his eyes slowly and was surprised when the darkness didn't disappear._ My eyesight isn't that bad. _He thought.

"Erm, madame Pomfrey?" He asked anxiously. "Why can't I see?" The medi-witch grabbed his glasses from the nightstand and pushed them onto his nose. Harry sat up and blinked into them, still no change.

"It's not helping" He said with a hint of panic in his voice. "I can't see" Madame Pomfrey bent down, put away the glasses and held his eyelids open with two of her fingers. She inspected them for a while; The emerald colour were slowly getting back into his dull eyes and small green sparks could be seen.

"When did you lose your sight?" Madame Pomfrey asked and let go off the boy's face.

"When I woke up a couple of seconds ago" Harry explained, trying to keep calm. although it was really hard _he couldn't see._ The medi-witch seemed to be in deep thinking and pulled out her wand from one of her pockets. She pointed it at Harry and muttered something, a yellow light burst out from the top and collided with the boy's face. It slowly searched it's way to his eyes. His deep orbs began to shine in the same colour as the light for a second before it toned down and finally disappeared. Harry's eyes had gotten back their colour and looked exactly like they had before the coma.

"Can you see now?" The medi-witch asked softly. Harry blinked, still nothing. He shook his head and lowered his head_. Great he was blind too. _

"Oh.." Madame Pomfrey frowned and once again disappeared in deep thoughts. Harry looked around trying to register what was going on, the lack of sounds and voices was confusing and he didn't know if Poppy had left or not.

"I know what could cause blindness." She spoked suddenly, causing Harry to jump and look at the direction of which the voice was coming from. He waited patiently for her to continue. "If mixing the wrong ingredients it could leave side-effects, but I know that I didn't do it. I was extra careful yesterday not to give you any potions that could cause the ingredients to .."

"Madame Pomfrey" Harry interrupted. The medi-witch blinked and stared at him for a second. "If I for example went to Snape to get a dreamless sleep potion could that have been the cause?"

"Did you?" Poppy asked. Harry nodded and blushed, he knew he shouldn't have taken any potions without asking her. "That would be the cause then, I used some pretty strong calming potions last night, you shouldn't drink a potion with monkshood and then mix it with salamender blood, from the dreamless sleep potion, within twentyfour hours."

"Oh.." Harry's eyes were wide. He really should start paying more attention in potions. A look of horror and panic spread on his face "Will I stay like this way forever?" Madame Pomfrey shook her head 'no' but realized that he couldn't see her.

"No, I guess it will stay from twelve to twentyfour hours, when did you drink it?" She asked. Harry thought for a moment, he hadn't exactly looked at the time before he got to sleep after returning from Snape's office.

"Around midnight I think" He said, it was around lunch time now which meant that it must have been twelve hours or so.

"Okay" Madame Pomfrey said. "Then it could take a couple of hours--" Harry gulped, a couple of hours? Not being able to see was scary enough, he didn't want to stay like this for any longer. "--Unless you want me to brew you a potion to quicken the whole thing. It would drain some of your energy and you would feel really tired for a couple of days, but once you drank it, it wouldn't take longer then an hour."

"So if I drink that potion I will get my sight back faster?" Harry asked. He definatly wanted that potion even if it drained his energy. "How fast can you brew it?"

"Well, I can brew it in about ten minutes but then it'll have to cool down for about thirty minutes." Poppy said. Harry nodded, they said good bye to each other and the raven haired boy heard a door open and closed and he guessed that she had left the room.

Sighing he leant back against the pillows, it was scary not being able to see, it didn't feel safe in the dark and he just wanted to sleep the time away or something. His thoughts drifted away and he felt himself slipping away. He had no idea of how long he had been waiting, but since madame Pomfrey hadn't return it couldn't have been long. A loud thump caught his attention. He quickly sat up and tried to see if he could hear anything.

"Who's there?" He cried out to the darkness, his heart was beating faster, it was completely silence. Harry was sitting straight up against the bedpost with a paniced look on his face while his eyes swept over the room, even though it was useless to try and see anything, suddenly another sound was heard, small footsteps became more and more distant.

"Who's there?" He repeated loudly. "I'll call for madame Pomfrey" The footsteps stopped at once.

"No don't" A soft voice replied. It was so familiar but still.. not. The person was clearly a guy, his voice was smooth and friendly, almost pleading. Harry guessed that he didn't want anyone to know that he didn't want anyone to know that he had been there.

"Who's there?" Harry asked with a frown on his face, he could have sworn he had heard that voice before. There were a couple of second of silence and only the sound of feet dragging across the floor was heard.

"What?" The voice suddenly asked sounding confused. Harry mentally slapped himself, whoever the person was didn't know that he was blind.

"I can't see anything, please tell me who you are" He said, his gaze locked at the direction of where the voice had been coming from.

"Oh." The guy muttered curiously. "What do you mean you can't see? Are you blind or something?" Harry nodded.

"You still haven't answered my question." He said. "Who are you?" The guy seemed to be hesitating for a second before he cleared his throat and began to drag his right foot over the floor again.

"Sean Murrey" He answered. Harry thought for a second, he hadn't heard of anyone from Hogwart with that name before. "I know who you are though - Harry Potter, I've heard your story." The raven haired boy nodded and lowered his head, not knowing what to say, he hated it when people brought up 'his story' about Voldemort. Gladly he _didn't_ have to say anything as the boy continued. "Why are you here? You look like you've been through hell" His voice was still friendly and calm.

Harry couldn't help but feel anger towards the boy, who was he to come and talk to him like that when he didn't even know anything about it? But it was true though, he _did _look like shit. The bags uner his eyes were bigger then ever since the coma, some of the bruises had slowly started to fade away but were still visible on his creamy white skin. He had also gotten thinner since he hadn't eaten much for several days, not real meals anyway, his skeleton was visible on many places.

"None of your buisness what happened to me" Harry snapped angrily and crossed his arms over his chest. He heard those footsteps again against the cold hard floor, this time they were coming closer and suddenly they stopped.

"I'm sorry, you're right" The voice said from his right, Harry started and realized that the person were standing on the side of his bed. "I shouldn't have asked." He sounded really sorry and Harry felt the anger melt away, it was not like him to snap at someone like that.

"It's okay" He said. "It's just that, I don't know you and I really don't feel like talking about it." He stared at the direction of where he had last heard the boy and waited for his answer, but there came none. "So.. what are you doing here?" He continued instead, feeling really uncomfortable not being able to see the person in the room.

"Oh.." The other boy said and hesitated for a second. "I just.. came here for a potion for headaches." Harry nodded, not believing him, it sounded more serious then that, maybe someone had hurt him too, he realized that if you thought about it, it could have been a very personal question and that he didn't want to answer when the boy asked _him _about it. "I've heard a lot about you" The boy continued, changing subject. "Seen a couple of your quidditch matches. You're good"

Harry felt his modest side coming up and blush furiously and muttered a low 'thanks'. "You play?" He asked a couple of seconds later when he felt the heat leave his cheeks.

"A little." The boy said. "I'm a seeker too but I don't play for my house." Harry suddenly realized that he didn't know which house he was in and was about to ask when the boy continued quickly. "Of course my broom can't even begin to compair with the firebolt." Harry felt kinda weird talking to someone he couldn't see and someone he had no idea of who it really was.

"So tell me something about yourself" he said, he had to admitt that it was better to talk to a guy in what sounded like someone around his own age, then being all alone. Surprisingly he had forgotten all about the summer and the talk with Snape. Once again the other boy stayed silent before answering.

"I only have a few real friends, since I have a problem with trusting people" He stopped for a second. "I don't follow people, I am my own and .. well, that's just who I am. I've always been very independent and possesive. I have a problem with letting people in and even though I can make it on my own, it feels good to have someone there for you." Harry blinked, he also had a problem with letting people in, that's why he didn't feel safe to talk to anyone about his feelings. "So, now I've told you about myself now it's only fair that you do the same."

Harry thought about it for a second, he didn't exactly talk about his most inner feelings, but it felt safe to talk now, he didn't know who the person was and it felt like there were no strains attatched, but on the other hand, maybe this person was someone he couldn't trust, he had only just met him, and he hadn't exactly.. met him.

"Well.." He started after he had decided not to tell too much. "I was raised by muggles. The most important thing in my lifeare my friends, I would do anything for them.." He stopped for a second and swallowed the lump in his throat, memories of Sirius death was still haunting him. "I.. " He felt too emotional and didn't want have another break down. "I.. Suck at potions and that's the reason I can't bloody see anything" He finished and snorted in frustration.

The boy had not seen the sadness in Harry's eyes as he talked about his friends and nodded, although he knew that the raven haired boy couldn't see him.

"I like potions and I'm quite good at it" He said. "My weakness is herbology so I skipped it, also it was really boring" Harry snorted, he had to agree, herbology was not fun, although it was good for his grades and that's why he had chosen to continue with it.

"Beats history of magic though" He muttered. "Hey, maybe you could help me with my potions problems sometime? I'll let you try my firebolt if I get an 'A' on our next test" He smiled and laughed, not believing that he actually let out so many feelings and felt so comfortable talking to someone he couldn't even see. That was probably it, he couldn't see him, it was almost like talking to his head.

The boy seemed to be hesitating, because he stayed silent for a couple of second, Harry frowned, looked around and was about to say something when something flashed by his eyes. A white light. Harry blinked and several white spots appeared in front of his gaze. Small lines began to form and soon he could make out a blurry bed in the other side of the room, his sight continued to improve and with a smile Harry noticed that he could now see the other side of the infirmary perfectly without his glasses.

His thoughts went to the boy who had talked to him and he looked a little to the left and gasped. There sitting by his bed on a small chair, with an almost worried expression on his face was no one other then..

"MALFOY!"

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It was lunchtime but Draco didn't feel hungry at all, his thoughts wouldn't leave the conversation he had overheard the night before, Snape had actually killed his father? Draco hadn't known anything about the older man's past and he was angry that he told Harry Potter instead of his own godson. But he had realized that he had told Harry because they had experianced the same thing - abuse.

That was the thing Draco had not thought had happened to the raven haired boy in the hospital wing. He had always thought that he had a prefect life, and when he heard about his uncle beating him... he was to say at least shocked beyond belief. He was walking down towards the great hall when he suddenly stopped. An certain urge to have one look at the golden boy appeared in his head, get a closer look on the damage his so called family had caused him.

Against his better judgement he turned around and with big steps strode to the infirmary, as he stood outside the big door he hesitated. Should he do it? what if someone saw him? they could think that he was there to kill the Boy Who Lived or something. He shrugged, he could always tell them that he wanted some sort of potion or something like that.

Slowly and quietly he pushed the door open, he peeked through the small opening, distant voices could be heard and he drew back quickly. A door was shut closed and he took another look into the infirmary, he couldn't see very much except from one empty bed in one part of the room. Everything was quiet, maybe _he _was sleeping, but to who did those voices belong to? _Screw it _he thought and without making a single sound he stepped into the room.

The first thing that caught his sight was the black hair of mop sticking up from the covers of one of the beds in the corner of the room. The boy looked like he was sleeping and Draco stepped closer and suddenly he could see a movement, the boy was stirring. His heartbeat quickened, he did not need anyone to see him and start accusing him for something, he spun around and made to leave the room when he tripped over his own feet and fell to the floor in a very un-Malfoyish way.

He cursed himself mentally and lay still on the floor for a couple of seconds, hoping that no one had heard him.

"Who's there?" A small and raspy voice spoke, Draco quickly stood up and stared at the direction of the which the voice was coming from. He stood still in shock and stared at the raven haired boy in the bed, he was sitting pressed against the bedpost with a scared look on his face. He almost felt sorry for him. Harry was staring at the other side of the room and his eyes swept over to Draco's direction, he was shocked when he only looked past him, he took his chance and began to back away towards the door.

"Who's there?" The boy repeated louder this time, Draco could hear the panic in his voice and stopped. "I'll call for madame Pomfrey!" The blonde boy's heart stopped, _No_, his mind screamed, if anyone saw him here and Harry told him what had happened everyone would think that he was sneaking up onthe weak boy. He could make a run for it but instead he felt himself being unable to move.

"No, don't" He said pleadingly, surprised over his own tone. Surprisingly Harry didn't seem to recognize his voice and a small frown appeared on his face.

"Who's there?" He asked once again. Draco began to fidget with his hand and dragged his right foot over the floor nervously. What should he do now? and how come the boy couldn't see know who he was? Was his sight without his glasses _that _bad?

"What?" He asked in confusion, trying to get his idea confimed. The raven haired boy stared around in the room and then stopped at Draco.

"I can't see anything, please tell me who you are" He explained but only lead Draco to having more questions.Was he really blind? How? When? Forever? he managed to quiet down his urge to throw out all of those questions.

"Oh" he muttered instead in a low tone, but couldn't hold back his curiousity in his voice"What do you mean you can't see? Are you blind or something?" The boy on the bed nodded sadly.

"You still haven't answered my question." He said. "Who are you?" Draco could almost feel his heart stop beating, he couldn't let anyone know that he had been here, he cursed himself and his desire to get a look on abused boy and said the first thing that came into his mind.

"Sean Murrey" Harry looked like he was trying to place him, failing miserably. "I know who you are though - Harry Potter, I've heard your story." he continued before the raven haired boy could start answering question. The boy nodded and lowered his face.."Why are you here? You look like you've been through hell" He asked not being able to hold in the questions, he did a good job, trying to be friendly. He knew about the abuse, but was Harry still suffering from it? Maybe it was because he was blind all of a sudden.

"None of your buisness what happened to me" Harry snapped angrily, Draco blinked, taken aback by his harsh tone, but realized that it had been a rather personal question. He strode over to the shorter boys bed and stared at him, close up you could see every bruise and cut on the boy's creamy white skin, his emerald eyes seemed to shine without those glasses covering them, his raven hair had gotten even messier from the pillow. He was skinnier and shorter then a fourteen year old and the female features in his face gave him a look of pure innocence. He had a small frown on his pale forehead and his eyes were narrowed.

"I'm sorry, you're right" Draco said. The raven haired boy started at the sudden sound and his eyes travelled to the blonde boy's chest. The anger in his emerald orbs seemed to just disappear at once.

"It's okay" He said. "It's just that, I don't know you and I really don't feel like talking about it" Draco didn't say anything in lack of words and nodded instead to himself. "So.. what are you doing here?" Harry continued, he sounded rather nervous.

"Oh.."Draco hesitated for a second, what should he say? He sat down on a chair next to the bed "I just.. came here for a potion for headaches." He said lamely. The raven haired boy eyed him sceptically and nodded, obviously not believing a single word he was saying, but a look of guilt soon appeared on his. "I've heard a lot about you, Seen a couple of your quidditch matches. You're good"

A blush crept up on the smaller boy's cheeks and Draco felt a small smirk playing on his lips. Almost unhearable Harry muttered a small "Thanks" and asked him if he played.

"A little" Draco said. "I'm a seeker too.. But I don't play for my team" Okay, that was a lie, but it would be too supsicious if he said that he did. There are only three other seekers in the school and Harry would figure out that he one of them or he would think that he was a liar, and he wouldn't be wrong. Draco was still surprised that Harry hadn't heard who he was. He quickly continued before Harry could ask anymore questions about who he was. "Of course my broom can't even begin to compair with the firebolt." It was true, his nimbus couldn't compair to it, but also Harry was a better player on his broom and Draco knew it, even if he hated to admitt it. Although the nimbus was better then for example a cleansweeper.

"So tell me something about yourself" Harry said, Draco was unprepared for that one, he couldn't let Harry know who he really was. How hard it was to believe he actually enjoyed his little chat with the Golden Boy. He thought for a moment of the right thing to say.

"I only have a few real friends, since I have a problem with trusting people" He stopped for a second, it was true he _did _only have a few real friends, like Blaise for example, his best friend. Slytherins were known to be backstabbers, they did everything for their own gaining and Draco felt like he couldn't trust anyone except from his small amount of friends.He had known Blaise and Pansy since he wasa kid and met Crabbe and Goylea couple of years before hogwart, their parents were all good friends, loyal followers of Voldemort, at least the latter two and Draco's father.

"I don't follow people, I am my own and .. well, that's just who I am. I've always been very independent and possesive. I have a problem with letting people in and even though I can make it on my own, it feels good to have someone there for you." Draco unlike his father didn't follow Voldemort, he didn't understand his father. He always used to tell him how a Malfoy took orders from no one, that's just how they were, and yet, Lucius still did everything his little _master _told him to do, he was week, his fear for death and pain had lead him to the dark side but Draco wouldn't do the same. He answered to no one.

"So, now I've told you about myself now it's only fair that you do the same."

The raven haired boy on the bed blinked and looked like he was in deep thoughts, he bit his pink lip and let out a small sigh.

"Well..I was raised by muggles. The most important thing in my life is my friends, I would do anything for them.." He said, Draco knew about that, he had seen the way he looked at his friends, they were so close, like a family."I.. " Draco stared worriedly at the boy in the bed as a sad look appeared in his emerald eyes."I.. Suck at potions and that's the reason I can't bloody see anything" Harry finished and snorted in frustration. Draco didn't want to question the boy about what was bothering him, afraid that he would snap at him again and don't want to talk to him.

"I like potions and I'm quite good at it" He said instead. Snape, being his godfather, had tought him a lot about potions making, and he had earned high grades not only because he was the potions masters godson but because he was good. "My weakness is herbology so I skipped it, also it was really boring" To his surprise Harry snorted.

"Beats history of magic though" He muttered. "Hey, maybe you could help me with my potions problems sometime? I'll let you try my firebolt if I get an 'A' on our next test" He smiled and laughed varmly. Draco started, crap, Harry was talking about maybe meeting him once he got his sight back. The boy on the bed frowned and blinked a couple of times, he stared around in the room with a confused look on his face. His gaze fell on a spot to the right of Draco and a smile spread on his face.

He looked back at Draco and a look of surprise, anger and horror spread on his face. The blonde boy had no idea of what was wrong with the boy and stared worriedly at him, Harry took a deep breath.

"MALFOY!"


	17. Friends?

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: Okay, a bunch of people have been pushing me for more DMHP and it's hard to do it without making Draco or Harry OOC, so here it goes. SORRY! IT TO SOOO LONG! I've had a biiig authores block and the few moments I've been able to write, my mind has been blank. _I think I saw a swedish flag in the new Harry Potter movie the fourth time I saw it._ :O

Warnings: 'M'-rated for abuse, _slash_, and things like that, ya know?

Disclaimer: I own nothing. JKR does :)

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Chapter Seventeen: Friends?

"MALFOY!"

Draco blinked in confusion and shock, wasn't the boy blind? Maybe he recognized his voice. Harry was breathing heavily with his eyes narrowed, although there were no sight of that pure hatred that could be seen whenever he was around Draco, his eyes held instead a glint of confusion. Not knowing what to say the blond boy sat there with his eyes wide and lips slightly parted. He quickly noticed what he was doing and straightened his face.

"Potter" He said calmly. Harry had no idea of why Malfoy was sitting in a chair next to his bed, pretending to be someone else and stared for a second in shock at him.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here!" He growled through clenched teeth.

"I just wanted to see you" Malfoy answered truthfully as friendly as Harry had heard him when he was blind. Even though Malfoy hated to admitt it something had happened, he had been unable to move and had wanted to explore the weak boy more, it had been the perfect way to do it. Harry regained his cold face, although he seemed to be hesitating more.

"Why would you want to see me? and why would you pretend to be someone else?" He asked, the anger in his voice still there. Malfoy sighed but stayed as calm as ever, the lack of emotions in the blond boy was really annoying Harry thought and almost snorted in frustration, but stopped himself as Malfoy opened his mouth to reply.

"Honestly. First I just wanted to see what had happened to you" He said. "The whole school had noticed that their Golden Boy is missing" Harry glared at him for 'Golden Boy' but stayed silent. Draco stopped for a second, wondering if he should tell him that he had overheared Harry's and Snape's conversation, but decided not to. "But you woke up and I well.. Pretended to be someone else, since I knew that you would act like this if you knew that it was me"

"Then why the hell did you want to talk to me? You could have just left, I couldn't see you remember?" Harry frowned.

"I don't know" Draco said, looking thoughtful. "I guess I wanted a little closer look at the life of The Boy Who Lived." Harry snorted, he was actually shocked that he had been in the same room with Malfoy for several minutes without the two of them killing each other.

"I bet you are going to tell the entire school about me." Harry sighed, pointing meaningly at the bruises on his face. Draco shook his head and before he could stop himself he opened his mouth to answer.

"No I respect you too much" Harry blinked, his mouth hanging open in shock. Malfoy, respected him? He eyed the blond boy sceptically.

"If you respect me, how come you always insult me and my friends?" He asked with a snappy tone in his voice. Malfoy sighed and put a strand of hair that hung in his face behind with ear with two fingers.

"I said I respect you" He spoke and met Harry's steady gaze. "Not that I like you, there's a difference. Besides; I weren't the one who started this little hostility between us." Harry felt anger raise inside of him once again and his eyes sparkled dangerously.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He snapped. "You are the one who always picks on me, Ron and Hermione." Malfoy shrugged and rolled his eyes.

"Well, you were the one who decided to be my enemy in our first year, remember?" He said, narrowing his eyes slightly, for the first time that night showing a sign of anger. "You don't turn down a Malfoy, you embarrassed me! You chose not to be my friend. I didn't even do anything to you"

The anger in Harry's eyes disappeared as he remebered that day on the train to the first day of hogwarts.

"You insulted my friend" He said simply. "And what's with the whole _'no one turn down a Malfoy'_ crap? You make it sound like your friends are your slaves or something. Perfect example: Crabbe and Goyle"

"You know nothing about me, Potter" Malfoy growled angrily. "They may not seem so smart but they are the most loyal friends you can find. Slaves? I didn't force them to hang around me, no matter how hard it might seem for you to understand; I _do_ have friends, people _do_ like me."

"Trying to convince yourself, Malfoy?" Harry snarled, the anger between the two boys hung in the air and they glared at each other.

"At least my family doesn't hate me" Malfoy sneered, as soon as those words left his mouth he regretted it. Harry looked at him in horror, did Malfoy now anything? The blond boy slapped his hand over his mouth and his eyes widened.

"What. Is. That. Supposed. To. Mean?" Harry growled in almost a whisper. Draco_ killed_ himself mentally, he did not mean to say that, he had just been so angry, who was Harry to talk about him like he knew something? He could see the anger shining in the gryffindors emerald eyes.

"I know what happened to you." He said. Harry face changed from anger to horror and stared at the blonde boy with his mouth hanging open. Malfoy couldn't know, could he? He was probably just saying that he did to freak Harry out.

"H-how?" he whispered, his voice sounding broken and defeated. Draco was shocked that the raven haired boy acted so scared that he had found out, he really felt ashamed of what had happened, he understood him though; the embarrassment of getting beaten by a muggle must have been awful _and _Harry was supposed to be their saviour against the dark lord. A muggle was like a kitten compaired to lord Voldemort.

"I overheard yours and Snape's conversation last night" Draco explained biting his lower lip, waiting for the raven haired boy to start yelling. He almost blushed as he realized how he was behaving. He - a _Malfoy _was actually worried about how Harry Potter was going to react, it's not like he couldn't deal with the brats temper.

To his shock there were no yelling, Harry's already pale face drained the little colour left and he pressed himself back against the bedpost. With a frustrated sigh he dragged his legs up to his chest and buried his face in his arms.

"You 'overheard' our _private _conversation?" Came Harry's muffled voice, he sounded tired and the snappy tone didn't have the same effect anymore. He couldn't believe that Malfoy had actually heard it, he knew about the abuse, he would probably the the entire school, the whole 'I respect you' thing was bullshit and he knew it, Malfoy hadn't changed at all.

"Honestly, I didn't mean to" Draco said. "and like I said; I won't tell anyone." Harry snorted, but what could he do? Malfoy would tell even if he asked him not to, he would do anything to torture him, it's not like he hadn't tried to destroy Harry's reputation before. "Altough you wouldn't believe me if I told you about the rumours going around in the school."

Harry looked up and met Draco's silver orbs, the blonde boy felt a sting in his heart at the look of defeat in the gryffindors gaze, he tried to shut it out and not imagine what had happened to the light hero. He didn't know exactly what had happened to the raven haired boy but by the looks of it; it had been bad and no one deserved anything like that, not even Harry Potter. No, _especially_ not Harry Potter.

"What?" The gryffindor asked, quite curious about what those crazy people might have come up with, after five years in hogwarts he had learned that no other school spread rumours as quick as this did. Also no other school spread as crazy or unbelievable either.

"Well.." Draco started with an amused smirk on his lips, although this time it wasn't mocking, it was more like a grin. "Seamus Finnegan is spreading around that you were attacked by death eaters, which is the most likely story.. Millicent Bulstrode, annoying little bitch, is telling everyone that an obsessed fan kidnapped you during the summer and completely trashed your body with drugs. Looney Lovegood has a theory that you was attacked by a flesh-eating cactus."

Harry laughed softly, not caring that Malfoy had just refeared to Luna as "Looney".

"They would be in the shock of their lives if they all found out what happened." He said seriously and looked down. Draco could see how embarrassed he was and didn't know what to do, he never talked about feelings or anything like that.

After a minute of silence the tension in the air was getting unbareable, Harry was still staring down at the bed, fidgeting with his small pale fingers. Draco scooted closer to the bed and put a comforting hand on the smaller boy's back and awkwardly patted him a few times. He started and pulled back quickly as the raven haired boy laughed with a sob. He stared at him in confusion and Harry looked up to meet his gaze.

"You don't do this often do you?" he asked with a, weak, amused grin. Draco shook his head 'no' and placed his hands in his lap, trying get away that fuzzy feeling from his still opened palms. He blushed furiously over his action, had he just patted the golden boy on the back? What insane part of his brain had come up with that brilliant idea. He mentally kicked himself, but something had clicked inside of his mind and he had suddenly gotten a certain urge to comfort the smaller boy.

"I still can't believe that we have been in the same room for so long without throwing punches at each other" Harry whispered, he took a few breaths to calm down, he hated when people saw him like this, weak and emotional, especially someone like Draco Malfoy.

"Me neither" Draco said with a small grin on his face. Harry took a moment to take in the blond boys look. Without the smirk on his face he didn't look as mean as he used to, his eyes looked even brighter when they weren't narrowed in anger and held a small sparkle in each of them. His face weren't screwed up in digust and his creamy white skin lay flawless against his face. He actually looked like a nice human being. He even sounded different without the drawl or mocking tone is his voice, he spoke softer then Harry had imagined and he noticed how he sometimes rolled out the 'R's when he was nervous.

They both stayed silent for several second, none of them know what to say, although the silence wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, they just enjoyed each others presence. Harry had to admit that it was great to talk to someone who didn't ask him if he was okay every third minute, even though it was Draco Malfoy. He was very confused about where they were standing now but decided to to dwell on it, things wouldn't change for one little talk, they were too different, Slytherin prince and the Golden boy, they couldn't possibly be friends. He was pretty sure that Malfoy would return to his old self after tonight and he was shocked that he actually cared and wished that he wouldn't, sometimes he could be a real pain in the ass with all his bloody insults.

The same things went through Draco's head; Where were they standing? A little talk wasn't going to make them best friend but the was absolutely sure that he didn't hate Harry anymore, although he wasn't sure that his feelings were mutual. Draco had been a git to Harry and his friends for five years for no good reason, except from that he had turned down Draco's friendship.

"Well I better go now" Draco said, finally breaking the silence and standing up. "I wouldn't want Weasley and Mudblood to walk in here and see me, they would think that I was trying to kill you and I really don't want to deal with those two.." Harry glared at him for the names and crossed his thin arms over his chest, suddenly remembered why he hate Malfoy so much.

"Don't call Hermione that" He growled angrily, Draco blinked for a second not knowing what Harry was talking about before he realized, 'Mudblood' just came natural by now.

"Why? She is a Mudbloo--" He snapped back, not going to take crap from the wonder boy but was interrupted.

"Shut up" Harry almost shouted glaring furiously at the blonde boy standing next to the now empty chair. Draco narrowed his eyes and glared back and he realized why they could never be friends, they were completely different, they had different believes and they just simply lived different lives.

"Don't try and tell me what to do!" Draco snarled taking a small step towards the smaller boy dangerously with anger shining in his deep silver orbs.

"DON'T CALL MY FRIEND THAT" Harry shouted, his face red with anger at the approaching blonde boy. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT" They were both looking like they were about to expload any second now and the anger showing on their faces was simply scary. Harry wouldn't let that slimy git walk around calling his best friends names like that without giving him a piece of his mind.

"I'LL CALL ANYONE WHATEVER I BLOODY FEEL LIKE!" Draco yelled just as loud and hateful as Harry had, he didn't care what that little half-blood thought, he did whatever he wanted to do.

"You have no right to insult Hermione, you don't even know her, you're just being a git because she's a muggleborn" Harry growled through clenched teeth trying to keep his voice and face as straight as possible, he didn't want to do anything as bad as he wanted to jump out of bed and show Malfoy a little piece of his thoughts.

"OH" Draco cried throwing his hands in the air. "THAT'S RIGHT, EH? God Potter, you are such a _hypocrite_." Harry looked slightly taken aback for a second before he got back the cold expression on his face.

"What. The HELL! Is that supposed to mean?" He snarled, glaring furiously. If looks could kill..

"You are lecturing about _me _being all 'judging without knowing a bloody shit!'" Malfoy spat, venom dripping of his tone."WHAT IS IT _YOU _AND YOUR FRIENDS CALL US SLYTHERINS AGAIN? FUTURE DEATH EATERS! SLIMY SNAKES! YOU DON'T KNOW US TO MAKE THAT JUDGEMENT, SOME OF US _DOESN'T_ BOW TO THAT SNAKE BITCH!" Harry was beyond shocked and sat gaping like a fish. Why was Malfoy acting so offended by being called a 'future death eater'? He guessed that he had been telling the truth to Harry while he was blind; He refused to follow anyone.

"Don't come here, telling me not to judge anyone before I really get to know them" The blond boy contiuned in a lower but this agressieve tone. "I had to bloody lie about who I was before you could actually give me a chance. If you knew that it had been me you would have suspected that I would kill you or something, you don't know me! I'm no angel, but I'm certainly not a death eater."

"I didn't say that" Harry said, not sounding so sure anymore. "We're enemies, would you just invite me infor a little talk if you were in the hospital wing? Doubt it!" Harry didn't understand where Malfoy was going with all of this. He almosed sounded like he had been trying to get contact with Harry but hadn't gotten a chance before now.

_God, now I'm going to sound like I've been thinking about this way too much _Draco thought, mentally kicking himself.

"I'm just saying that we are very different people, gryffindors and slytherins doesn't get along and I'm not going to deny that I hate mudbloods" He said in a bored tone, what he had wanted to say something like 'I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU, YOU HALF-BLOOD GRYFFINDOR. WE'RE NOT FRIENDS' but thought that it would be better _not _to pick a fight and he knew that he would have regreted it later.

He could clearly see that Harry was pissed, he knew how the raven boy felt. He was Boy Wonder, he loved all muggles and creatures on this world and was all 'Go, Dumbledore'. Draco was nothing like that.

Harry was about to say something but stopped himself, he was too tired to start fighting with Malfoy right now, besides it wouldn't help anything. Harry had seen how Malfoy was; he hated muggleborns and muggles, nothing could change that and Harry wasn't going to try. He was still a little surprised that madame Pomfrey hadn't heard their loud fight.

"Whatever, Draco" He said, sighing in defeat. The blond boy blinked his face turned from anger to shock witing seconds. Harry had just called him Draco?

"What did you call me?" He asked in a little whisper.

"Draco" Harry answered simply."That's your name isn't it?" Draco let out a small laugh, there fight completely forgotten.

"Right.. _Harry"_ He smiled an genuine smile and held out his hand. "Maybe we should get a clean start and get to know each other and then make our judgments. After all we never actually got a real chance. Accept my hand this time?" Harry hesitated for a second before holding out his small pale hand, he grabbed the blond boys and shook it.

Disgust.

Anger.

Hate.

Everything Harry had ever felt for Draco seemed to melt away within a few seconds. They both smiled at each other and pulled back, first afterwards Harry noticed how cold his hand suddenly felt at the loss of contact.

"So" Draco muttered. "Not enemies after each others blood now?" Harry laughed and shook his head, he couldn't believe what just had happened. He had completely ignored all the insults towards his friends and himself for the last five years and had accepted Draco Malfoy's.. Friendship? Were they friends now? What did he exactly mean? Were they friends or just taken a pause from all the fighting?

"Friends?" Harry asked uncertainly with a little frown on his face, confusion was a bitch.

"No" Draco said simply. "But certainly not out for each others blood."

Harry nodded not sure if they would ever be able to be friends.


	18. Pieces Mended

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: It's christmas soon :D wihuu! Can't wait :P hihi, I got two presents today cause I babysat my two little brothers, I got two silver rings; one with two lions and _Gryffindor _carved in and another one with two snakes and _Slytherin. _:D Today is the first day of our christmas break and we got our _first grades_ yesterday. To celebrate that I worked my ass of to finish this chappie. :)

Warnings: 'M'-rated for: slash, abuse and stuff like that.

Disclaimer: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVXYZÄÅÖ

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Chapter Eighteen: Pieces Mended

It had only been a night since Harry and Draco had had that conversation in the hospital wing, it was potions and the raven haired boy hadn't been to any of his classes this day, completely understandable since madame Pomfrey was really stern about letting kids out before she was entirely sure that nothing was wrong with them.

Draco sighed and threw the wormwood into his cauldron carelessly, whenever he looked at Snape the conversation between him and Harry came into his mind. The older man just lived his life like nothing happened even though he had killed his father. Snape was standing over Terry Boot's potion with a sneer on his face, the brown haired boy had been someone new to pick on since the year had started, Draco noticed. Potions were their last class before dinner.

Draco looked down at the liqiud in his cauldron, it had turned into that purple shade it was supposed to, he had always been good in potions without making too much effort, so had his father been. Draco thought for a second, would _he_ have killed his own father in order to save his mother? He shook the thought away and went over to a cupboard close to Snape's desk to get a phial. His partner for the day was Blaise Zabini, one of his few real friends.

Blaise was a tall boy with short black hair, with a little gel it had been messed up to give him a kind of 'I just got shagged' look. He was ruggedly handsome with his tan skin, pearly with teeth and messy hair. He had a completely 'to die for body' hidden under his slytherin robes, his sweater framed his mucular chest perfectly and you could see a small white line of his underwear sticking up over his pants if you looked closely. He leant backwards against the chair and stretched his arms up with a yawn baring his stomach. You could now see his muscular stomach and the line of hair starting from his navel and disappearing under his waistband. Knowing exactly of how gorgeous he was, Blaise sunk back in the chair again and scooped up a small amount of the potions and poured it into the crystial phial.

"For those of you who actually managed to finish this potion" Snape's voice rang through the dungeons. "Leave a sample on my desk for testing" Blaise got up and walked over to Snape's desk gracefully, earning a few dreamily glances from Pansy and her group of slytherin girls. Draco snorted knowing exactly how much Blaise enjoyed the attention.

He looked over to the other side of the classroom, Weasley and the mudblood had paired together now when Harry wasn't there. It looked like Weasley was beng scolded, a green smoke was hovering over their cauldron and a faul stench spread in the air. Draco smirked, the mudblood must be really pissed now, she always made everything right. _I wonder if she'll cry _He thought and pulled away his gaze.

It was still like ten minutes left of the class and there was nothing to do, Blaise and Draco had finished their potions five minutes earlier and their cauldron, remaining ingredients and books had already been packed down safetly in their bags and put back in it's orginial place. Draco sighed and, not thinking of what he was doing, began tapping with his fingers against the wooden table impatiently. Snape shot him an annoyed look and the blond boy stopped at once. Blaise snorted and stared at him in amusement, his deep brown eyes sparkled and he leant down to whisper in Draco'sear.

"You seem to have a lot on your mind" He muttered, not wanting to anyone to hear them. It would really destory their slytherin reputation if someone saw them have a civilized conversation about normal things like any other gryffindor. Blaise was really proud of his house and held a cold facade whenever he was around the other houses, he was also from a pureblood family and had just like Draco been raised to think that emotions was a weakness and of course his mysterious, emotionless look fit him perfectly.

"Just bored" Draco said simply, leaning back in the chair with another sigh. He scanned the classroom again, in search for anything interesting to stare pointlessly, finding nothing. Blaise shrugged, hearing in Draco's tone that he didn't want to talk. He had always been like that, there were moments when Draco just wanted to be left alone, to get his own space. Five minutes had passed and he was getting impatient, how come the time always seem to slow down when someone is boring?

Snape was staring out at the class, the small amount of hufflepuff was sitting at their table nervously staring at their potion. It had been a very complicated one to brew and only a few had managed to get it right. Not even the mudblood had been able to finish it, but that had probably something to do with the fact that she had paired up with the poor clutz Weasley.

Finally the class ended and Snape shot them all one last angry look before dismissing them. Draco jumped up and grabbed his bag, Blaise stood up too and waited for him to join the students leaving the dungeons to get to dinner but the blond boy stayed back.

"You go ahead" He said to his dark haired friend and nodded at the mass of people. "I'll meet you at dinner" Blaise nodded and left with Pansy and her little friends, followed by Crabbe and Goyle running after, almost stumbling over each others feet. Draco rolled his eyes and turned around. Snape was sitting at his desk, rubbing his temples while muttering under his breath something that sounded very much like 'Bloody kids'. Draco snorted and made his way over to his godfather.

Snape looked up at the sound of someone approaching. The older man almost sighed in relief at the sight of his godson, he had feared that it was some nervous hufflepuff wanting to excuse it's bad potion.. again.

"Severus" Draco said pulling out a chair to sit in front of Snape's desk. "I need to talk to you" He looked down at his feet, not knowing how to start. There was so much he wanted to know about his godfather's past but he felt like he was prying to much.

"You're not having some sort of girl problem, right? Because I am certainly not going to deal with your raging hormones" Snape said with a disgusted look on his face. Draco sighed, honestly sometimes he wondered if Snape had completely forgotten how it was like to be young.

"No.." He answered, trying to think of the best way to get his way into the subject he wanted to talk about. "It's just that.. erm.. My father wants me to take the mark this year" Bullshit, he would never take the mark even if his father said so, which he had not. Snape knew how he felt towards the death eaters and the dark lord.

"Draco, your father is in Azkaban" Snape said raisingan eyebrow. "He can't possibly tell you what to do." Damn. Draco's mind was racing. Damn him and his curiosity.

"Yes, but he arranged it so aunt Bella could take me to the cermony" He said desperatly to make his story more beliveable. "I don't want to be a death eater. Why do one become one anyway?" Okay, he was getting on the right track. He had always wondered why Snape chose to be a death eater.

"For power, I would say" Snape replied calmly. "Or for protection, it's much easier to be on the dark side. The light fights for the good of man kind, the dark side fights for.. well power, they don't care of how many lives that gets in the way. Having the light side as enemies are much easier, since they are known to show more mercy, unlike the death eaters who kills for fun"

"Did you .. kill for fun?" Draco asked in a low tone, holding his breath, waiting for the man's reply. All he about Snape's 'dark past' was that he used to be a death eater but turned spy for the light side. Snape sighed and rubbed his temples. Draco stared at him, hoping that he wouldn't get yelled at for asking to many personal questions.

"It was the killing and torture that turned me to the light side" Snape explained. "I joined the Dark lord at a very young age, I was not aware of how cruel people could be." He stopped as he remebered his time as a death eater; the piercing screams, the stench of fresh blood mixed with sweat and vomit, the small gasps as a little girl took her last breath, the muffled cries as a boy was choked to death. The death eaters had laughed as they took the innocent people's lives, they had enjoyed watching them in pain, hearing them beg for mercy.

"Then why did you become a death eater?" Draco asked, feeling slightly sick at the though of what death eaters could do.

"I was a fool" Snape growled. "A weak _foolish _boy, who had no idea of what I was getting myself into. I wanted respect, power, the one in control, but not at that price. A saw a little girl no older then seven with the purest eyes I've ever seen, ice blue eyes shining with tears and pain. I will never forget the agonized expression on her face as she turned to me, begging to be spared. Her blond hair was drenched in fresh blood pouring out of a wound in her head, her face covered in dirt and clothes ripped and bloody. She grabbed my robes and pleaded in a small whisper, suddenly she was pulled up by the hair and someone slit her throat. Her limp body was dropped to the ground and she bled to death. He was _laughing._ Avery that bastard"

Snape stopped with a pained expression on his face, the memories must still be hunting him. Draco gulped feeling really ill now, he had met Avery several times, he had been at the Malfoy mansion like any other human being. How could he live with himself with the guilt of taking a human life? A poor innocent little girl.. Draco looked down at the floor, wishing that he had never asked about Snape's past.

When he looked up again he noticed a small envelope on Snape's desk, the older man was holding his twitching fingers over it still staring at his godson. Not knowing what to say Draco stared at all the small things around the room, trying to get away that awkward feeling.

"That's when I decided that I didn't want to be a death eater" Snape continued and sighed heavily. "I swore to be loyal forever to the dark lord, and that's not a promise he takes lightly. I knew that I just couldn't tell him that I wanted to leave his circle. That's when I decided to become a spy for the light side. Dumbledore gave me a second chance and offered me this job as I joined the light side"

Draco gaped, slightly surprise over how much he had been told, it was not like his godfather to talk so much about private stuff like that.

"You've been really emotional lately, you know that?" Draco smirked, trying to lighten the mood and change subject, he knew he shouldn't have brought it up, he just hadn't been able to hold back his questions, he had always wanted to know why Snape joined Voldemort and became a death eater.

"Go to your next class, Draco" Snape said calmly, knowing that he had said to much. It was really not like him to be so open about his life or feelings. The blond boy nodded and stood up, grabbing his bag he made his way out of the dungeons towards the great hall to meet up with his friends.

He had certainly not expected Snape to tell him all that and wondered if it would have been best not to know, he felt sick and a rage overtook him; he had never liked death eaters, taking innocents life was not his thing. He was rather curious about why they did it. Murdered happy families, what did the death eaters got out of it? Their Lord's approvement probably.

His mind went back to that night Snape and Harry had spoken to each other about the older man's father, maybe his past had had something to do with him joing the dark side. His thoughts drifted away to the raven haired boy and what had happened to him.

_Why am I caring so much about Harry Bloody Potter's life? _He thought and shook his head, walking faster towards the great hall. He had to admit that he felt sorry for The Boy Who Lived but making friends with him? He couldn't understand how Harry had accepted his hand this time though, he had been insulting his friends for over five years.

Maybe Harry had thought that the person he had spoken to when he was blind wasn't that bad. Draco had thought about it before he lied about who he was; he could have just left but instead he felt himself unable to move, he had wanted to see what The Boy Who Lived was like when he didn't put up that Golden boy facade.

Now they were 'friends' or something, no, not friends. But they definately didn't hate each other anymore. Sighing at his own confusing thoughts Draco pushed open the door to the greath hall and sat down at the long slytherin table next to Blaise.

* * *

_Heaven ablaze in our eyes_. . . . . . . . . ._This endless mercy mile_ . . . . . . . . . . ._Come on lets show, them your love  
We're standing still in time_. . . . . . . . . _We're crawling side by side_ . . . .. . . . ._Rip out the wings of a butterfly_ . . .  
_The blood on our hands is the wine_ . ._With hell freezing over in our eyes_ . . ._For your soul, my love_ . . . . . . . . . .  
_We offer as sacrifice_ . . . . . . . . . . .. . ._Gods kneel before our crime_ . . . . . . . _Rip out the wings of a butterfly_ . . .

* * *

Harry put on his gryffindor robes, glad to be rid of that PJ he had been forced to wear in the hospital wing and he couldn't wait to leave. Madame Pomfrey had let him go with some convincing from Dumbledore, Harry had to go to classes so he wouldn't miss so much. Smiling he threw the bag over his shoulder and left the infirmary with a last wave at Poppy. He reached for the glasses on the nightstand as a habit but stopped, realizing that after the blindness his vision had turned back from bad to perfect, something good had come out of that incident. 

He hadn't been to classes yesterday, it had been relaxing but now he felt like he had to continue with his eductation so he wouldn't get left behind. He shifted the heavy bag on his shoulder, it was filled with books for the entire day and some potions he had gotten from madame Pomfrey and some he had gotten himself from her private cupboard. She had given him dreamless sleep potions, but he felt that he needed something more and nicked a few bottles of calming draughts just in case. He knew that if he mixed those two he _wouldn't_ get blind or anything like that.

He had spent most of the day before to try and convince madame Pomfrey that he was fine and able to go to classes and he was not going to screw it up this time, he had had enough of the infirmary for the entire year. His first lesson was Defence against dark arts and he made his way to the class.

When he got down to the hall to Nuit's class he could hear his peers voices and walked around the corner. He smiled at the sight of Hermione and Ron who were standing a little bit to themself talking. Ron had his hand on Hermiones hip, barely touching the soft fabric of her clothes. Harry frowned at the sight, wondering what the hell he had missed and walked over to both of them.

"Hey Harry" Hermione said who was the first one to notice him. Ron turned around and smiled at his best friend. "Madame Pomfrey let you go?" Harry nodded, feeling slightly deja vú. The girl was still worried abouther friend, he was skinnier then ever and looked really tired with the small bags under his eyes, she knew that he was hiding the most of his visible injuries with help of some pretty powerful spells, but that was just so thatthe other students wouldn't start asking questions.

"What happened to your glasses?" She asked, just noticing that he wasn't wearing them anymore. His eyes were shining in a colour of pure emerald without those things covering them up.

"Don't need them anymore" He explained. Hermione and Ron nodded, not asking anymore questions about.

The people waiting for Nuit was talking loudly and Harry felt someone bump into him from behind, he quickly took a step away backing slightly against the wall, he began to feel really crowded and was shaking kinda badly. He could see in Hermione's eyes that she saw the way he was acting and tried to shrug it off but flashbacks kept playing inside of his head.

Sweat was dripping down his forehead and he began to feel really dizzy, small spots were dancing over his eyes, clouding his vision.

"Harry, are you okay?" Harry blinked trying to regain focus and looked around, his eyes caught sight of a red mop of hair, recognizing his best friends Ron. He nodded as the dizziness disappeared and he got back his focus.

"Yeah, I'm fine" He muttered, still feeling really crowded and hot. He was also still shaking and reached down into his bag to take one of the potions. He pulled out a small crystal phial with the calming draught in it and opened it, in one gulp he swallowed the liqiud. He felt it working and relaxed at once.

"What was that for?" Hermione asked, knowing what that potions was exactly.

"Erm, just feeling stressed about the homeworks I didn't do while I was at the infirmary" Harry lied quickly, knowing Hermione, he knew that she would run straight to madame Pomfrey is she knew about his little paranoia. "Madame Pomfrey gave me a few bottles in case I would stress out because of the school work" He felt bad for lying but it was for the best.

"Hey, Harry" Ron said before Hermione could say anything. Harry looked at his friend gratefully. "We have the first quidditch match soon, I know that you are the captain but since you weren't able to chose players for our new chasers McGonagall held the outtakes, she might not be the best quidditch player or something like that but she made som okay choices. She picked Romilda Vane and Ginny." Harry had completely forgotten that he was the knew gryffindor captain and nodded, he had seen Ginny play, she was good and he had done the same thing, choosing her.

Harry caught sight of a blond boy coming towards the other students with ebony haired boy on his side. He recoginzed him as Blaise Zabini. Ron saw them too and stared at the two slytherins with disgust, he was about to say something but Harry nudged him in the side.

"Nuit might come, don't pick a fight now" he hissed, he still wasn't sure about the vampire, he could feel the aura around him. He was radiating with power, it was almost scary afterall they did come from dark sources even though they were used for good. "Save it for the quidditch pitch." Harry smirked, knowing that Malfoy was also the quidditch captain for his house, it would be so fun to beat him again.

Harry felt like someone was watching him and felt some wind in his hair. Weird, wind they were inside. He turned around and started when he met the piercing gaze of their new defence against dark arts teacher. With one wift of his pale wrist the door to their classroom opened. The walked in without making a sound, it was almost like he was floating. The students followed him and sat down quietly.

Nuit turned around and stared at them all. No one said anything waiting for him to start, Tom Nuit was that kind of teacher who everyone respected without fearing him.

"Today we are going to practise a spell made to repell dementors, which is called a patronus. Can someone tell me what a dementor is?" He asked with a smooth tone. Harry noticed how the man sometimes rolled out the r's when he spoke. Almost eveyone in the class had their hands in the air, they all knew what a dementor was. In their third year there had been dementors around the school in search for Sirius after he had escaped from azkaban.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Nuit asked turning to the brown haired girl. Hermione's cheeks turned into a shade of crimson under the mans violet gaze before answering.

"Dementors are creatures of the dark, they feed of a human beings happiness, giving us a feeling of that nothing will ever be allright again." She said with her know-it-alltone. "Their most dangerous 'weapon' is the dementor's kiss in which they suck out it's victims souls."

"Good." Nuit said, nodding approvingly. "Five points for gryffindor" Hermione turned even redder and smiled down at the table, she, Ron and Harry were sitting at.

"I doubt that anyone will be able to perform this spell, it's really complicated" Nuit continued, lifting his dark wand in the air with a swift motion. "Although I think that it is good to know how to do it." He opened his mouth to say the spell when a voice errupted through the classroom.

"Let Patronus Potter do it" Everyone turned around to stare at Draco Malfoy who sat there with a amused smirk on his lips. He met Harry's gaze, the raven haired boy noticed something warm in his silver eyes and could tell that Draco had not said that to give him a hard time in front of a teacher.

"Mr Potter" Harry turned his head back to Nuit in question. The older man lifted a elegant finger motioning for him to come forward. Harry stood up and walked over to the professor who had a smile on his face. "Care to give it a try?" He sounded sceptical that he could actually manage it and Harry almost smirked at him but kept a straight face and nodded. He pulled out his wand from his pocket and lifted it in the air like his professor had done earlier.

He frowned trying to think of a happy memory and Hermione and Ron came into his mind, their faces were clouded by the image of Ron's hand on Hermione's hip, but Harry tried to shrug it off even though it disturbed him that his two best friends seemed to be closer then he had thought.

"Expecto Patronum" Harry said clearly, a speck of silver flew out of his wand and created a little mist in the air but nothing more. Harry stared at for a second in shock and swore, it didn't work. Nuit placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Nice try, kiddo" He said and pushed Harry to go back his seat but Harry lifted his wand again in anger. He wasn't a kid, he could do the spell and he was going to show it. It was really quiet in the classroom, everyone had been eager to see if Harry really could do it. They had of course heard stories about the dementors during the summer to his fifth year.

Harry looked at them embarrassed that he hadn't been able to do it and tried to come up with another good memory. He could almost feel Nuit stare. The raven haired boy met Draco's gaze who shot him an apologetic look. With his wand still in the air Harry tried again.

"Expecto Patronum" A silver light came out of the tip of his wand, it was almost like fire. What happened next shocked him the most, through the light a silver dragon shot out. Harry recognized it as a _Swedish Short-Snout_ (A/N: Couldn't help myself. :D ). He remebered Hagrid telling them about it, it was silvery-blue and it's flame was brilliant blue, although you couldn't see that since it was all a shade of silver. It lived in the wild, mostly mountain areas and it's horns were powedered and used as ingredients although it was really rare.

The dragon strecthed out it's wings and shot out some fire towards the students. A hufflepuff girl fainted even though none of them could actually feel the creature or it's fire. Harry was confused, his patronus was a stag, not a dragon. The creature disappeared in a steam of silver light and the whole class stared in shock.

"Good work, grasshopper" Nuit said and smiled at him. "Really good, fifty points for gryffindor" Harry nodded and walked back to the table where Hermione and Ron sat utterly confused.

The lesson passed by quickly with Nuit talking to them about the shape of a patronus and how everyone had one special to themself and such . When the class ended Harry felt really good about getting back to the common room during their break. They had 45 free minutes before transfiguration and he had to get settled again.

He walked up to the guys dormitory and opened his bag. He took out his defence against dark arts book and threw it onto his bed, his bag was heavy enough without carrying it around. His cofusion about his new patronus came back into his mind and he pulled out his wand.

"Expecto Patronum" He said with a clear image of a world without Voldemort in his head. A silver stag burst out from his wand and ran through the room.

"Hey prongs" Harry muttered to the silver creature and reached out to touch it, his hand went through the light and the stag disappeared in a cloud of silver mist. Frowning Harry sat on his bed and noticed a small envelope on his pillow with his name written on it. He could by the writing that it was from Remus and opened it carefully.

It felt heavyer then a normal letter. Harry pulled out a golden frame and turned it over, a small smile spread on his lips. In the golden frame there was a picture of his mother holding a small baby with a smallmop of black hair and the same eyes as his mothers. His father was wrapping an arm around his wifes's waist. They were all smilling happily. With his other arm, James lifted a hand and tickled the little baby, causing him to giggle. Harry stared at the picture of himself and his parents for a second and heard someone call his name.

"Harry come one, we have to go if we don't want to be late" Harry recognized that voice as Hermione and put down the fram on his nightstand. He quickly stood up and grabbed his bag before walking down to the common room happier than before, not feeling nervous at all about the quidditch match against slytherin tomorrow.


	19. The Kiss

**- In The Dark - **

Auhtoress Ramble: Okay so I can reply to reviews through e-mail so I don't have to write in the chapters. Sorry this took so long. To make it up for it... SLASHINESS;) . I kinda just jumps into the slash now,if you don't like it, blame the reviewers who insisted that I should slash it up. :Hides behind chair:

Warnings: Slash

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

Chapter Nineteen: The Kiss

The next day Harry stared at the photo on his nightstand with a smile on his face, he had to remember to thank Remus for it later, but he had been so busy with the order and had to go back after the short visit he payed Harry in the hospital wing when he was in the 'memory coma'.

Harry was so confused about his second patronus, it was weird how it had only appeared in Nuit's class and then in the dormitory it had went back to it's usual form - a stag. Harry turned around and looked out the window, the sun was shining and not a single cloud could be seen even though it was september. It was the perfect day for a quidditch match.

The day had gone by quickly and the last class had ended only half an hour ago. Harry sighed, Ron and Hermione had disappeared directly after to a prefect meeting of some kind, he couldn't help but feel like an outsider with his two best friends were prefects and he wasn't.

It was no point sitting and waiting in the common room with nothing to do until the match and Harry decided to go down to the library for some research for his potions essay, it wasn't due for another week but there was nothing else to do, the other sixth year gryffindor boys were working on their charms homework which Harry had already finished days ago.

With some parchment, ink and a quill all placed in his bag Harry made his way to the library, his footsteps ringing trough the surprisingly empty corridors. He walked around the corner when he bumped into something and fell down to the floor, causing his stuff to fall out of the bag.

"I'm sorry" Harry said looking up while trying to gather up his things and stuff them back in his bag. He stopped with a piece of parchment in his hand, staring into Tom Nuit's violet eyes. "Sorry" He repeated and looked down, trying to avoid the older man's gaze, he couldn't help but feel really exposed whenever he looked into those violet orbs.

"No worries" Nuit replied in a low tone, he stood there staring at the boy and Harry wished that he would just leave. When he had picked up all of his stuff, Harry stood up, now standing in front of the older man. The raven haired boy nodded at him and made to leave but something came into his mind.

"Professor?" He asked uncertainly. Nuit looked at him calmly, nodding for him to continue, it was like he knew that Harry had something on his mind.

"Erm.." Harry started not really knowing how to say what he wanted to have said. "I was wondering about my patronus, and.. erm." He stopped for a second, Nuit smiled a creepy smile at him.

"Oh, yes, very well done." He said. "I've never before met a sixteen year old boy who have been able to perform it."

"Erm, yeah, about that." Harry muttered with a modest blush. "My patronus is usually a stag and now it was a dragon, I know that one person only have one patronus and that's what confused me. I mean my patronus can't change it's shape right? because when I tried later it was a stag again and.." Harry stopped when he noticed that he was babbling and waited for Nuit to reply. The older man looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Well, I have no idea what may have caused your patronus to change it's shape" He said, tapping a finger on his chin."What happy memory did you choose?" Harry thought for a second, he remembered trying to think of Ron and Hermione but that didn't work.

"Erm, I don't know" He mumbled truthfully. "Honestly I don't remember, I just thought about you know.. everything that could work so I could show the class that I could do it." He had been so desperate up there, not to lose his face that he had started to think about everything happy that had happened to him. "Not a special memory"

"Okay.." Nuit muttered. "What did you say your patronus was again? Some sort of a dragon right?" Harry nodded.

"A Swedish Short-Snout" He said, not knowing why it mattered what his patronus was, but he kept quiet though, Nuit was the expert on these things.

"I don't know why you have two patronuses, I'll have to get back with you on that" Nuit said to Harry's disappointment. "Now if you excuse me, I have some work to do" Harry nodded and walked away towards the library more confused then ever.

* * *

"Welcome to the first quidditch match of the season" Colin Creevey called enthusiastically through the arena, his booming voice could be heard even down in the school. "Gryffindor versus Slytherin" Loud cheerings were heard from the stands around the large pitch. A mass of red and gold took over three fouths of the students.

Harry clapped his hands together nervously and listened to the crowd. He could clearly hear a lion roar through the air and smiled at the thought of Luna's lion hat. The rest of the team were sitting in the locker room with nervous looks on their faces, this was the first match and the most important one to win, if you didn't count the final of course which would be taking place in april for the two leading houses.

He wondered for a minute if he should have some sort of pep-talk,Oliver had always been good on things like that. Harry looked out at the pitch and could see that there were still some students looking for seats among their friends, the match would start soon. He was so nervous that he almost missed as Colin called out the slytherins, this was it.

"And here are the gryffindors" Colin's squeaky voice rang through the air, loud cheers erupted as red and golden flags rose in the sky, waving in the wind. Harry gestured for his team mates to follow him out to the pitch. With their brooms over their shoulders they marched out onto the field with the sun shining in their eyes.

"Captains shake hands" Madame Hooch instructed, Harry stepped forward, so did Malfoy. The raven haired boy could almost feel every glare towards the slytherin boy from his team mates, he got close enough to see Malfoy's face who smirked at him. Harry held out his hand for the blond boy to shake. Harry smiled cockily as the slytherin grabbed the raven haired boy's smaller one.

Everyone was staring in shock at the two boys who shook hands almost friendly with the same determined looks in their eyes to win this match. They both pulled back at the same time, Malfoy nodded at Harry before walking back to his team. The raven haired boy stared after him for one second and joined his own team.

The two teams mounted their brooms, waiting for the whistle. The snitch and the bludgers were released, Harry followed the snitch with his gaze for a couple of second before it disappeared out of sight. The quaffle was thrown up in the air and a loud whistle rang through the pitch. With an amasing speed Katie Bell kicked up from the ground and grabbed the quaffle followed by the other two gryffindor chasers, Ginny and Romilda Vance. Harry kicked from the ground in his search for the snitch and saw Ron retreat to the gryffindors goalposts with a fierce and determined look on his face.

Harry had to admit that Ron had improved with his skills since last year and were actually really good, nothing compaired to Oliver Wood though. Colin's squeaky voice boomed through the arena but Harry didn't pay attention to what he was saying, although he could sometimes make out things such as "Katie Bell has the quaffle" and "Slytherin scores" The latter one was followed by disappointed booing.

Jack Sloper aimed a bludger for one of the slytherin chasers, but it took another direction of what he had been planning on and Harry had to duck to avoid the ball from colliding with his head. He glared at the beater and continued looking for the golden snitch.

It had been half an hour of the game and Harry hadn't seen the golden snitch yet, he was starting to feel the pressure put upon his as slytherins scored their 20th goal, they were in the lead with 200 points to 80. Harry had to admit that now when Malfoy was the captain he had put together a really good team with players picked for their talent instead of their size.

Harry looked at Ron who seemed to be panicing by the goalposts, he knew that if the slytherins scored four more goals it wouldn't matter if Harry caught the snitch.

One of the slytherin chasers were flying towards the redhead followed by Katie Bell but she fell behind because of the high speed of the slytherins nimbus. That's when something caught Harry's eye on the other side of the pitch, it was really far away and he hadn't seen it if it weren't for Jack Sloper who was wifting his hands in the air wildly trying to get ride of the golden objectflying aroundhim.

Harry flew over there while scanning the pitch for the blonde seeker dressed in green and silver, the snitch took off in a different direction and the raven haired boy sped up, he wanted to get the snitch before Malfoy could get in the way and win the game for slytherin. The golden snitch suddenly changed direction again and flew down towards the ground, Harry didn't hesitate for a second before he made a quick dive.

The snitch was getting closer and so was the ground, Harry reached out to grabbed it, so far he hadn't even seen Malfoy.

"Harry has caught the snitch" Colin cried out, jumping up and down, as Harry's fingers closed around the golden object. The raven haired boy smiled but it quickly faded of his face as the ground kept getting closer, with one hand Harry pulled up him broom before he crashed.

He smiled and held up his hand in the air, the gryffindors had won the match with 230 to 200. He couldn't register what was happening outside the pitch, his team mates surrounded him with hugs and pats on the back, but he could clearly hear his name being chanted loudly from his fellow gryffindors who had been watching the game.

"Well done, mate" Ron said patting Harry on the back.

"Easy catch" Harry muttered modestly. "I didn't even see Malfoy during the game"

"Oh, didn't you notice?" Ron asked. "Malfoy left with Snape after half the game" Harry frowned.

"Why?" Ron shrugged, Harry was about to ask more about the subject but Seamus ran up to him and threw his arms around him and patting him on the back.

"Seamus, can't.. B-breathe" Harry mumbled, Seamus pulled back and laughed while ruffling the shorter boys hair.

"You're the Boy-Who-Lived, I doubt that a hug will be your death" He said with a heavy irish accent and winked. Harry laughed too and walked back up to the school with the rest of his team.

* * *

"Wait, I forgot my bag in the locker room" Harry said loudly to Hermione so she would hear him through all the chattering. "I'll just go and get it" He put down his butterbeer on a table and walked through the portrait hole, as soon as it closed behind him all the noises died out.

A silencing charm must have been put over all the four houses entrances, it would be a little suspicious if you could hear a bunch of people talking and laughing behind a portrait. Sighing Harry turned to the right to go and get his bag down in the locker rooms.

The gryffindors had won the game but the victory didn't quite feel as sweet as it used to, Malfoy hadn't even been there. Why had he left anyway? Snape was his head of house, maybe he had been expelled for something, or maybe he had just gotten into some sort of trouble. Lost in thoughts Harry started as a smooth voice rang through the almost empty corridor.

"Nice catch grasshopper." Harry didn't have to turn around to know who it was, he didn't know what it was about Nuit's prescence that made him shiver. The handsome man with violet eyes stared at him as the raven haired boy finally turned to face him.

"Thanks" He muttered modestly and looked down at the floor.

"I need a word with you, mr Potter" Nuit said and gestured for Harry to follow him. The boy did as he was told, but kinda wished that he hadn't left the common room at all, who knew how long this would take.

Nuit walked to his office with Harry following behind him, the boy_ almost_ had to jog to keep up with the older mans light, big steps. When they finally got to his office it had been about five minutes of silence. Nuit opened the door without even touching the knob and went in, Harry stared after him for a second before he followed.

Nuit's office was dark and the windows had long dark red curtains covering them, not letting a single speck of light shine through, that made Harry wonder why Dumbledore didn't give him a room in the dungeons. The colorful cats and the porcelain Harry had gotten so used to was gone and now there were jars filled with red liqiud on high shelfs and a bunch of weird objects Harry had never seen before.

The dark walls were empty without a single paiting on them, so was the cold plain stone floor. Harry's steps echoed in the office as he walked over to the dark mahogny desk and faced Nuit who were now sitting behind it.

"Sit down" He said and gestured to the other chair on the other side of it. Harry did as he was told and stared around in the room, his eyes stopped at a jar filled with something that had a scary resemblance to human teeth. The boy looked away quickly and met the older man's gaze instead.

"I had a chat with Dumbledore about your little problem" Nuit said. Harry raised an eyebrow.

"What problem?" He asked.

"The Patronus problem" Nuit answered. Harry muttered a weak 'oh' and looked down at the floor, what else had he ever talked to Nuit about? "Anyway.. Dumbledore told me that you've been developing new powers this year, wandless magic." Harry nodded, thinking of the vase he crashed in the hospital wing.

"Another patronus is of course really rare and I don't think that it belonged to you" he continued, Harry looked up in confusion. "What I mean is.. Do you remember the memory you used?" Harry shook his head. "Aha.. Then do you remember exactly what you did when you used the spell?"

"Erm.. I lifted my wand and said th--" Harry said but was interrupted by Nuit's sigh.

"No, what were you thinking? how did you move? what did you look at?" He asked impatiently.

"I.." Harry started and thought for a minute. "The first time I failed, as you saw.." A small blush spread over his pale cheeks. "I got really nervous the second time, I looked at the other students when I peformed the spell and.. I was mostly forcing a fake sensation of happiness on myself." Nuit stared at him for a second, searching eye contact but Harry kept looking away, he was almost sure that the vampire was talented at legilimency.

"What students were you looking at?" He asked, Harry had to think over the day once again.

"Malfoy.." He answered quietly. Nuit stayed silent for half an minute, before he lifted his right hand gracefully and jerked it backwards in the air, a round crystal ball in the size of a bludger few off one of the shelfs, into Tom Nuit's waiting hand. He put it down on the dark wodden desk and placed both of his hands on it.

"What's the boy's full name?" He asked, Harry blinked for a second.

"Erm.. Draco Malfoy?" he said. Nuit nodded and whispered Draco's name into the crystal ball. A white smoke appeared in it but a silver light took over and a small silver dragon appeared in it - A Swedish short-snout. Harry gasped.

"Is that it?" Nuit asked, Harry nodded with wide eyes. It had been Malfoy's patronus. Nuit let go of the ball and the image disappered, leaving it as clear as before.

"What_ is_ that?" He asked staring at the crystal ball. Nuit looked up.

"Oh, you don't use these in divination _yet_?" Harry shook his head. "Well, you'll learn about it later. You know that you used them to look into the future right? Well, like you saw, I used it to reveal mr Malfoy's patronus.. It's complicated." He shrugged.

"Well, grasshopper" He continued. "This is really intresting, it seems like you've peformed legilimency." Harry stayed silent in confusion for the vampire to continue. "When you peformed the patronus, you cleared you head from everything and replaced it with happiness, it takes a lot of focus to peform a patronus. I guess that when you looked at mr Malfoy, while putting in all your focus plus clearing your mind, you peformed a sort of legilimency, but instead of actually seeing his memories, the effect was put into your spell and that's what made your patronus change like that.."

"I peformed legilimency?" Harry asked. "I didn't even know it, and I didn't say the spell. Snape always says this spell to enter my min--"

"Legilimency with wandless magic, grasshopper." Nuit said and smiled a rare smile. "You're getting really powerful, although it will take a lot of training to learn how to control this. That's way professor Dumbledore suggested that you'd start practising occlumency and legilimency with professor Snape and also.. Wandless magic with me" Nuit wifted his hand and the crystal ball flew back into it's place on the shelf.

Harry didn't know if he should laugh of cry. Occlumency _and _legilimency with _Snape_, although Snape had started to act a little nicer, like a actual human being. But how could he manage with that and wandless magic too, plus he had all of his homeworks _and_ quidditch practise.

"You managed occlumency last year and that was OWLs year." Nuit pointed out.

"Did you just read my min-- You know what, never mind." Harry muttered. Nuit snorted.

"Snape will talk to you about your occlumency and legilimency lessons, your first wandless magic lesson is this friday after your last class, got it?" He asked, Harry nodded, still in shock of how much work he'd have to do this year. He sighed, this year were supposed to be a relaxer from the last years exams and a little break before the NEWTs next year.

"I'm sure that the rest of your peers miss you at that little party." He continued. "Off you go." Harry did as he was told and left quickly the door closing by itself behind him. He has still his bag down in the locker room and he had been out for almost half an hour. Harry realized that it was two hour past curfew and Nuit hadn't docked any points for being out of the common room so late.

He had finally gotten his question answered; he had peformed legilimency, he was still rather confused about Nuit's talk but he did understand that he probably put all his magic behind the spell and focused deeply on it, then he had looked Malfoy in the eyes and somehow without him knowing it he had peformed wandless legilimency, shouldn't he have sensed it himself? Maybe that was what Nuit had meant; the legilimency charm hadn't been successful and he hadn't actually gotten into Malfoy's mind, it had been too weak and that's what he was going to train.

Harry stepped out through the big oak door and continued down to the pitch, he wrapped his thin cloak tigther around his shoulders to shield himself from the cold september wind. The sky was dark and full of clouds.He silently cursed himself for not bringing the invisibility cloak, if Filch or Snape found him, he would lose points and probably get detention for being out past curfew.Quickening his pace Harry finally got down to the locker rooms and saw his bag on one of the benches against the wall.

Another bag lay not so far from his own, Harry picked it up and saw the familiar initals 'RW' written in small yellow letters on it. Snorting Harry swung both of the bags over his shoulder and left the locker room. He groaned as he noticed that it had started to rain and pulled on his hood. He rushed over towards the castle when something caught his eyes. There by the lake he could clearly make out a dark shape, he stopped and looked over at the student. The one had his hood pulled over his or hers face and the cloak were wrapped around the thin figure tightly.

It was to dark and far away to see who it was, Harry walked over to the lake, while adjusting the bags on his shoulder and brushing away a few raindrops from his face, even though he was covered by his cloak, they pouring rain would still soak through his clothes.

"It's past curfew you know" Harry said as he got closer to the figure who had it's back turn to him. "You could get in trouble."

"I could say the same thing for you" A familiar voice said with a hoarse tone. The boy turned around and silver orbs met green.

"What are you doing out here, Malfoy?" Harry asked, without any trace of hatred in his voice. Draco winced, he didn't understand how the raven haired boy had the patience and energy to care about everyone.

"Thinking" The blonde boy said simply and looked out over the lake. Harry could see rain drops running down Malfoy's face and a strand of blonde hair hung down outside the hood, dripping water. Malfoy was just as soaked as himself.

"Couldn't you have found a less wet place to think?" Harry asked with a playful smirk, Malfoy snorted, but turned serious.

"I wanted to be alone" He said. For the first time in Harry's life he saw Malfoy without his emotionless guard, he didn't understand why he put up such an facade in prescence of other people, he could clearly tell that something was wrong with the blond boy.

"What happened?" He asked seriously, with a hint of worry in his voice. That was another thing Malfoy didn't get, he had been a total prat to Harry for five years and now here he was asking him about his problems.

"None of your buisness" He snapped. Harry nodded.

"You're right, it's not." He muttered, he was about to walk away but the sadness in the blond boy's eyes held him back, unable to move Harry stared at him for a second before opening his mouth to speak again.

"Talking helps you know" He said, feeling the irony in all of this. He, himself never talked to anyone about his problems and here he was urging Mafoy to tell him about his worries.

"Yeah, well I don't want to talk to you" Malfoy growled. Harry nodded, and almost laughed, he was trying to make _Malfoy_ feel better. Even more to his shock he couldn't control the urge to comfort the blonde boy and put an comforting hand on his shoulder, getting flash backs from the day in the hospital wing.

Malfoy shifted his gaze and looked into the shorter boy's eyes, he noticed that he was just tall enough to put his chin on the raven haired boy's head. He had never noticed before how a small gesture like having someone hand on your shoulder could effect him so much, make him feel better. The warm hand felt so good compaired to how cold and wet the rest of his body felt.

Harry smiled encouraging and Draco couldn't help but feel a tug at his lips, confused he tried to hide it and bit his lower lip slightly. _Don't bite your lip _he heard his fathers words in his head and stopped. He noticed that Harry was staring at him with a unreadable look on his petite face.

"How long has this been going on?" Draco whispered and traced a finger along Harry's neck. The raven haired boy was confused for a moment but remembered the fading bruise he had there. He looked down at the ground and let his hand slip from Draco's shoulder to his arm.

"A little slap here and there as long as I can remember" Harry said sadly, he had been holding it for so long, he hadn't talked about the abuse to his best friends, but now he just wanted to spill it all out. "It got worse every year." Draco looked at him through sad eyes, every insult between the two of them had seem to be forgotten, there was no point grudging about the past.

Silver orbs never dropped and stared deeply into emerald. Harry and Draco didn't realize how close they were with Harry's hand on the blonde boy's arm. They didn't say anything, but it didn't feel awkward, it just felt comforting. Malfoy's hood had fallen down and the pouring rain ran down from his hair, down his face.

Not really knowing what he was doing, Draco leaned in, brushing his lips against Harry's, feeling the warm breath tickling against him. He wrapped one of his arms around the smaller boy's waist and pulled him closer so their bodies were touching. The cold water soaking them seemed forgetten and both of the boy's bodies felt strangely warm. Draco licked Harry's lower lip, begging for entrance and felt the petite boy shiver against him. Harry opened his mouth and Draco's warm tongue slipped into his hot cavern, exploring every inch of his mouth.

Harry had never been kissed like that, he remembered fifth year with Cho, it had been awkward and a complete disaster. Draco's tongue was tasting, licking and massaging his own with slow passion. Harry began to take after slowly and Draco smiled into the kiss at the innocene and tenderness behind it. Sighing against Draco's lips, Harry wrapped both of his arms around the blond boy's neck to deepen the kiss.

His hand travelled from Draco's neck up to his soft hair and tangled his fingers through the blond strands. Draco let his hands slip down slightly and rest on Harry's hips. It seemed like unbreakable hours they stood there kissing. The blonde boy placed on last soft kiss on Harry's bottom lip before pulling back when the lack of air was getting to their heads.

Draco was bending down slightly and rested his forehead against Harry's while both of them were panting heavily. The blond boy's wet nose touched Harry's, leaving a small rain drop to fall down his petite face. They looked each other in the eyes to dazed to say anything. Harry could feel a blush raising on his cheeks.

"I have to go." He muttered and let go of Draco's neck. The blonde boy nodded and his arms slide down Harry's hips.

"I'll see you in class" The raven haired boy mumbled, in lack of anything else to say before taking of towards the castle in big steps, leaving a wet Draco Malfoy in the pouring rain. But what was there to say? They had been fighting for five years, called a truce and now they had kissed. It was confusing.

_I'm always confused these days _Harry thought walking through the corridors with the two bags over his shoulder. Without noticing it at first Harry reached the portrait hole in what seems like only a couple of seconds in deep thoughts.

"Flobberworm" He muttered and the fat lady's portrait swung open. Harry yawned, realizing that it was getting rather late. The common room was silent to his surprise, McGonagall must have stopped the party already.

"What took you so long?" A voice was heard. Harry started and turned around to the big red couch in front of the fire place where Ron and Hermione was sitting. The voice belonged to Hermione who had a big frown on her face. She gasped.

"You're glowing" She whispered. Ron squinted at Harry.

"What?" He asked with confusing. "He's not glowing." Hermione rolled her eyes and stood up, with a few steps she was standing in front of Harry inspecting his face. The emerald eyed boy looked at Ron pleadingly who shrugged at him.

"You've been kissing" Hermione exclaimed, pointing at Harry's face. Ron grinned at stood up too. "Swollen lips" Harry brought up his hand and touched his bottom lip, was it really that obvious?

"Who was it?"

"How was it?"

Hermione and Ron asked at the same time. Harry looked thoughful for a while, trying to come with a word to desribe it. A certain feeling of deja vu from the last year after the DA meeting with Cho came into his mind.

"Wet."


	20. Aftermath

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: I just wanted to point at to some reviewers who writes things like "That's not likely to happened.", "Harry would never do that" or things like that; This is FanFiction! It's made for people to write from their own imagination! Also.. Guess who has gotten Harry Potter and the goblet on fire on dvd? I DID! Hehe, my friend gave it to me (1/10 -06) as a late xmas gift :)

I changed my name from Mrs SoBla Padfoot to Soffe Malfoy. Sorry this took so long, but I'm getting kinda annoyed by this story, so it's hard to write without erasing it all the time. Although now when It's getting more Draco/Harry I am starting to like it a little bit better, I keep making up lemon in my head. ;) :Blush: I have never in my life been this nervous to post a chapter. :S AAH!

Warnings: Slash. ;) You know you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. JKR does :)

* * *

Chapter Twenty: Aftermath

_Harry felt another persons breath on his neck causing him to shiver. Hands roamed through his hair in a loving way. Someone was placing butterfly kisses all over his neck and face. Finally reaching his lips Harry felt someones tongue lick his bottom lip softly, while a warm hand was placed on his hip, stroking it slowly with the thumb. Harry could taste the familiar scent of mint and smiled into the kiss shyly, aware of the warm body on top of him, making him feel loved, something he had always craved to feel. _

_A strong tongue prodded his lips and Harry parted them slightly to deepen the kiss. He closed his eyes, letting himself disappear in the moment. Harry groaned as he felt those soft lips leave his but gasped as small kisses trailed down his neck, it was so innocent and sweet. He bit his lip at the feeling of pleasure it brought it and opened his eyes. _

_A flash of silver caught his stare and the last thing he saw was that playful but loving smile on those soft, pink, lips.._

Harry turned over in his bed and grabbed his forehead groaning - he was _not_ a morning person. He let out a breath wondering about his dream, he knew who it had been about, even though he tried and tried to deny it.

What he also had tried to deny was the feeling it gave him, it had felt good, so had the kiss last night. He didn't know if it had to do with his raging hormones or if he was actually attracted to Malfoy.

After he had gotten back, Ron and Hermione had exploaded with questions, but Harry had quickly lied and told that he was feeling really tired. Hermione who thought that it would take a lot for him to heal after the abuse had accepted the excuse but Ron could clearly see that he was avoiding the subject.

It didn't bother him that it was a guy. Harry thought that if you really cared about someone it wouldn't matter if it was a guy or girl, you couldn't help it if you fell in love with someone. He had realized something, he was not attracted to girls or boys, he fell for other things, like lips, eyes, the way someone acted and stuff like that.

Seamus was the only one who knew that Harry was bi, after he had found out that Seamus was gay he had gone to him for advice. He had felt rather stupid telling him that he wasn't sure about his sexuality, but Seamus had told him that it was normal for teenagers to experiance and try new things.

He was very secure about his sexuality and Harry admired him for that. Everyone knew about him, but that didn't bother him a bit.  
Harry was nervous to even tell Ron and Hermione that he was bi, he was and had always been afraid that he would get abandoned by the people he cared about.

Okay, so people were okay with Seamus, but Harry felt that it was different for him, he was after all the 'saviour' of the world of magic, the golden boy, the hero everyone looked up to, would they get disappointed once they found out that was also attracted to guys?

Harry checked his watch, it was time for breakfast soon. He pulled himself out of bed and put on his dark robes, rubbing his tired eyes. Ron was snoring loudly and Seamus was muttering something in his sleep, turning onto his other side.

The hangings were half open and Harry could see that a part of the irish boy's cover had fallen down onto the floor and his legs were tangled into the part still lying on the bed. He snorted in amusement as Seamus began to kick out, trying to break free from the covers, causing him to fall down to the floor with a loud thudd and groan.

Dean and Neville's beds were both empty and neatly made. They always woke up early, especially Dean, he woke up even before Hermione did. Harry heard that Seamus had started breathing heavily and muttering again, the raven haired boy rolled his eyes and walked over to Ron's bed. The sun was shining brightly in the early morning.

"Ron, wake up! It's breakfast soon" He said pulling away the hangings, letting the sunlight shine into the redheads face. Ron groaned in his sleep and turned on his other side, away from the light. Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed his bag on the end of his own bed, deciding that it wasn't his responsibility to wake him up. If Ron got late for class it would be his own fault.

He walked out of the dormitory and down to the common room where Hermione was sitting with a book resting in her lap, she was currently having a discussion with Ginny about the new defence against dark arts teacher, Tom Nuit. Harry remembered that he would have wandless magic training with him tomorrow, he had of course already told Ron and Hermione about it.

He sat down on the big red couch next to Hermione and dropped his bag to the floor staring at the book in the browned haired girl's lap.

_"-- For one to transform, the victim must drink from the demons blood too after getting bitten. When one is turned,_ _a demon takes over a part of you and the person will no longer be the same. As the demon takes over the person loses it's soul and the  
hunting insticts kicks in._

_He or she may seem like a normal human being, while not baring the fangs, but vampires are creatures of the night, as soon as the blood touches their lips they earn eternal life and all kinds of human emotions leaves their bodies--"_

"What are you reading?" he asked with one eyebrow raised. Hermione closed the book to show the font. _"Vampires, creatures of the night" _it said with big letters. Harry wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that Nuit was a vampire, it probably did, they had been talking about him after all. Tom Nuit was very popular with the female population of hogwarts and most of the students respected him.

"This isn't one of those Lockhart-things again, is it?" Harry asked with a lock of horror on his face. Hermione giggled and shook her head.

"No, I just wanted to know if he is possibly dangerous" She explained, with a frown giving him a meningful look, the most of the defence against dark arts teachers before had turned out to be dangerous, except from Remus though, and you couldn't really call Lockhart "Dangerous" more like.. incompetant.

"Besides" She continued. "I think he is way to old for me, vampires are immortal and I've heard that professor Nuit is over three hundred years old."

"He sure doesn't look like it" Ginny said with a smile on her lips. Harry raised an eyebrow at her who shrugged innocently. The emerald eyed boy rolled his eyes and stood up, grabbing his bag.

"While you ladies discuss older men, I'll be going to the great hall" He said and smirked at their face expression at "_older _men".Ginny stood up too, also holding her book bag.

"I'll come with you" She smiled enthuiastically. "'mione you coming?" The bushy haired girl shook her head and told them that she would be waiting for Ron.

"If he doesn't wake up soon, just throw a bucket of cold water over him" Ginny said smirking and turned to the portrait hole, opening it and stepping out. Harry followed behind her and they walked down to the great hall. They rounded a corner and suddenly Harry collided with something hard, falling down to the floor with another warm body on top of him.

Harry groaned at the pain in his back, he started to remember the pain of getting slammed into the wall forcefully and pushed the body of him, feeling really crowded. His chest wasn't hurting to his surprise and guessed that it must have healed according to plans.

"Watch where you are going, Malfoy" Harry heard Ginny's voice snap and he looked at the boy he had pushed away. Draco had gotten to his feet and was dusting of his robes slowly.

"You really shouldn't talk to your superiors like that." He drawled to Ginny with a look of pure disgust on his face. He looked down at Harry and his expression softened and he didn't show any emotion at all.

_That stupid Malfoy guard _Harry thought angrily. He had been hoping that if he saw Malfoy that he'd be able to see what he was feeling about the night before. Maybe he was just as confused as Harry about it.

The raven haired boy felt strangely uncomfortable under Malfoy's piercing gaze and blushed, wishing that he would stop stare. He looked down at the floor, not being able to look Malfoy in the eyes after the dream.

He swore in silence, why was he so clumsy all the time? With one last digusted look at Ginny, Malfoy had left to the great hall and Harry couldn't help but be impressed of how graceful he looked.

* * *

Draco had left the common room in deep thoughts that morning, his head spinning. He couldn't believe that he had kissed Potter, what did he think leaningin like that? It had just happend, watching the small boy's frowning face with water running down his cheeks and beautiful emerald eyes had seemed impossible to resist at the moment.

He hadn't been able to forget how aboslutely perfect it had felt with his arms wrapped around the boy who lived's slim waist and how sweet he tasted, vanilla. Draco had known since he was fourteen years old that he was into guys, ever since the yule ball.

Pansy Parkinsson had been all over him and he had just wanted to hex her into oblivion, he didn't know what he was thinking when he had asked her to go with him, he did it mostly to have a date and his father had always wanted his son to marry a pureblood to carry on the pure line of the Malfoys.

All for his father.. but not anymore. He wouldn't give up his life to serve another man, a Malfoy never bow down to anyone his father used to say, they are superior. That's what didn't make sence, Lucius Malfoy was the biggest suck up to the dark lord and Draco felt sick every time he heard Voldemort's name.

Of course Lucius didn't know that Draco was gay, he would be disowned, not that it mattered anyway, he was in prison and couldn't control his life anymore.

Draco rounded a corner in deep thoughts and accidently walked into something, or rather _someone,_ smaller then him. He lost his balance and fell on top over the raven haired boy, he heard a groan and felt himself getting pushed of, he raised his head from the floor to look at the person he had crashed into and the air left his lungs, this was going to feel uncomfortable, he thought staring at the boy who lived.

"Watch were you are going, Malfoy" Draco heard a whiny voice snap at him and he stood up dusting his clothes off, while counting to  
ten inside his head. He looked up in the Weaslette's face and shot her a disgusted look.

"You really shouldn't talk to your superiors like that." He drawled with his eyes narrowed, he didn't have to take crap from people like _her. _To his satisfaction she shut up with a angry look on her face. Draco tried not to let his gaze travel to Harry who still lay on the floor with a cute blush on his face.

_No, not cute_. Draco tried to tell himself, but he couldn't help but melt when he looked at the blushing boy on the floor wide emerald eyes, giving them a sort of sweet innocence only Harry Potter could show.

Draco pulled away his eyes, hoping no one notcied that he had been staring and put on the same disgusted look on his face and he turned back to stare at the redhead for a second before walking past them gracefully with malice in every step he took.

Harry stood up and brushed off his robes, Ginny glared after Draco but turned to Harry again, asking him if he was okay. The raven haired boy nodded and the two of them walked into the great hall.

They sat at the gryffindor table when Hermione and Ron sat down next to them. Ron's hair was messy, he had big bags under his eyes and he sat completely stiff, half glaring at Hermione. Harry suspected that the brown haired had indeed done something drastical to wake up the redhead.

"Hi Harry" Someone said, Harry looked up and Colin Creevey sat down in front of him. "Nice catch yesterday." His small blue eyes were sparkling and he had a huge smile on his face. Harry nodded and muttered a small 'Thanks'.

"There you are, Colin" Harry looked up again as another squeaky voice was heard and a boy with red hair, light brown eyes and a few freckles across his nose and cheeks sat down next to Colin, Harry recognized him as a third year, he didn't know the name of. The boy looked at Harry and smiled at him shyly.

"Nigel" Colin exclaimed enthusiastically and patted his friend on the back warmly.

"Nigel" Ron mutterd nodding at him with his gaze still on the table and his hand folded in his lap. He yawned loudly and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Mr Weasley" Nigel said politely. Harry cleared his throat, causing Ron to look up and him. The raven haired boy raised an eyebrow and Ron shot him a look that clearly said 'don't even ask'.

"Hey Harry" Colin said waving gladly to get his attention, Harry started and looked at the blond boy who began to talk about gryffindor's chances to win the quidditch cup, but Harry didn't pay attention he was too busy worrying about the potion class in the end of the day, he didn't know if he wanted to see Malfoy or not.

* * *

After charms that day the trio walked to the dungeons with heavy steps, potions was never pleasant, it was the slytherin territory as Ron put it. When they stopped outside Snape's classroom, they noticed that there were a lot of people missing, there were only one hufflepuff and that was Susan Bones, Justin Finch-Fletchley wasn't there. There was Terry Boot from Ravenclaw, Crabbe and Goyle were standing in a corner glaring at Malfoy who looked extra _sulk_y. Blaise Zabini was no where to be seen.

Snape swept past the small mass of people into the classroom, followed by the students. Ron, Hermione and Harry sat down at a table in the back of the classroom. He turned around and faced the class with a snarl.

"Today you'll brew a simple headache potion. Then as an assignment I will pair you up in groups of two, you'll have to develope your own cure for headache. If you know the effects of each ingredient, it shouldn't be too hard, but what to expect from a class full of such idiots as yourselves? You'll have until monday to finish it, and I suggest that you start as soon as possible, you'll also have to brew and test it in class" Ron glared at Snape at the word 'idiots' with pure hatred and disgust. The potion master sneered back at him.

"Boot and Bones." He continued, beginning to pair up the students. Harry sighed and rested his chin on his hands and his elbow on the desk. Ron got even angrier knowing that at least one of the trio would have to pair up with a slytherin. "..Weasley and Crabbe" Ron swore loudly, causing Snape to dock five points from gryffindor. "Malfoy and Potter." Harry's eyes went wide and his head slipped from his hand, falling off into the table with a small thud. He groaned and rubbed his forehead. "Granger and Goyle."

Harry shot Draco a nervous glance, he had realized that he'd have to do the assignment with him after class, it was going to be awkward as hell. He looked away just as Draco turned his eyes to him and sighed.

Ron shot him a sympathetic look mixed with anger and disgust, probably meant for Snape and Crabbe. To make things worse Snape called Harry back at the end of the class. The raven haired boy sighed knowing what he wanted.

"As you know you'll be starting occlumency with me againand also legilimency" Snape said, leaning back againstthe chair behind his dark desk. "We'll start with occlumency, because it's more important to be able to protect your own mind. When I feel that you are ready to move on to legilimency we'll start with that, I'll be expecting you on this monday, the same time as usual" Harry nodded and left the dungeon, slightly happier that he wouldn't do occlumency and legilimency at the same time, that would be double work.

"Potter" A voice drawled, Harry knew who it was and was impressed of how he would always seem to appear from no where. Malfoy walked up to him with a tough expression on his face but he looked rather uncomfortable in his shining gray eyes. Harry nodded, feeling that he wasn't able to speak and that if the tried he would just say something completely stupid. Both of them just wanted to sink through the stone floor, but Harry showed the awkwardness he felt with a slight blush spreading on his usually pale face.

"Since we are going to have to do that assignment together I think it's better that we start as quick as possible to get it over with, also I don't want my high grades to sink, because of our little problem with getting along together and your incompetence for potions" Draco said, sounding completely like his normal Malfoy-way, which suprised Harry that he could stay so cool after what had happened. The raven haired boy just nodded again, even though he felt anger raising inside of him.

"I'll meet you at the library today after classes." Malfoy said simply, Harry had the urge to argue back because he didn't need to take orders from anyone but held it back, becuse he knew that he would be having a really busy scheduele after that.

"Right" he muttered and stalked off, trying to catch up with Ron and Hermione, a little hurt that his two best friends hadn't been waiting for him after class.

* * *

Draco Malfoy walked through the cold dungeons towards the slytherin common room to leave his ingredients and cauldron, he was definately not going to carry around them all day long and he knew that he would only need the potions book for the assignment Snape had given them. They weren't actually going to brew it until monday.

His black bag hung over his shoulder and it swayed slightly back and forth in rhythme with his steps.

He soon reached the dark stone wall that lead to the slytherin common room and spoke the password.

"Slithering Snake" _Yeah, no gryffindork can guess that password. _He thought sarcastically, cursing his fellow slytherins for their bad choice of password. They needed something better, this was after all the one thing that protected their private space from curious eyes.

The stone wall slowly slid open revealing a sqaure hole behind it. Draco walked through and heard the wall close again behind him.

The slytherin common room looked like anyone could have guessed it looked like. There were no single window (They were after all in the dungeons) the floor was made out of stone and so were the walls.

There were big black comfortable leather couches and armchairs all around in the room. There was also a couple of dark mahogny tables with matching chairs for students to have some place to do their homeworks. Black, white and green candles could be seen a little here and there, on the tables, hangins from the ceilings or the side of the walls.

It was almost completely empty, the most of the students were probably in class or hanging around somewhere else in the castle. Draco walked up the stairs to the boy's dormitory. He opened a dark door with the silver snake, leading to their room and saw a dark figure on one of the beds in the end of the room. There was five beds in it all made in black, silver and green and mahogny nightstands on the sides.

The bed closest to the door with the messed up coverlet belonged to Goyle, and Crabbe in the one next to it. The third bed, which was neatly made, belonged to Theodore Nott, a skinny rat-like boy with pale features, grey eyes and dark black hair. The dark figure lay on the bed next to it and in the end of the room was the bed that belonged to Draco Malfoy himself, he had insisted to get it in their first year.

"Hey Blaise" Draco muttered walking over to his bed and slowly putting down his bag on it. Blaise was lying on his own bed on his back with his eyes closed. He was wearing the required school robes with slytherin colours. Draco couldn't deny that he was attractive with his dark hair, deep brown eyes, tanned body and big muscles.

"Draco" He mumbled back with his eyes still closed. "You came in late last night, didn't even see you." Draco sat down on his own bed, Blaise meant the night he had been out in the rain after the quidditch match. What was he going to say? 'I was just out kissing Potter'? Definately not, that was one thing he didn't go around bragging about.

"Erm.. I was just taking out some frustrations after the quidditch game." He answered with a shrug. Blaise opened his eyes and sat up on the edge of his bad to stare into Draco's eyes.

"What happened to you anyway?" He asked with a frown. "You disappeared from the game" Draco gulped, not knowing if he wanted to talk about it,

"Snape needed to talk to me" He said simply. Not a lie and not too much information.

"What about?" Blaise continued pushing the subject. Draco sighed and tapped his fingers against the dark nightstand.

"Okay" He said leaning forward. "But you can't tell anyone." Blaise nodded. He had been Draco's best friend for very long and was one of the few people the blond felt he could trust with his thoughts and feelings. "My mother wanted to talk to me. Father escaped from azkaban last night and now she has to go into hiding, she almost pulled me out of hogwarts too."

"Why?" Blaise asked with wide eyes. They had both lowered their voices into whispers and had there faces only a few inches apart.

"Mother thinks that he might come after me or her, he knows that I haven't got any plans at all to take the dark mark" Draco explained. "But I told her that I would be safe at hogwarts, she is staying at Severus's house for now, the wards around it are enough to keep my father away if he tried anything."

"But how did he escape?"

"Lets just say that the dementors aren't as eager to work for the light side anymore" Draco sighed. "The dark lord can offer them things they couldn't even dream of getting from that prison. Those people in there are already messed up, there aren't much left for the dementors to feed on."

"Have they left Azkaban or something?" Blaise inquired and ran a hand through his dark hair.

"No" Draco muttered. "but I think it's just a matter of time before they do. They are certainly not doing there job right, Amerigano Cortés escaped too. He's one of the foreign werewolves the dark lord have been able to turn to their side."

"How d--?" Blaise begun but stopped when Draco stood up. "What?"

"I have to go to class" The blonde boy said bitterly. "If I get late again for history of magic I'll get detention and I really have better things to do during my free time."

"I don't even understand why you chose to continue with that subject." Blaise grimaced and stood up, herbology was starting soon too.

"It's an easy subject" Draco said and pulled out the cauldron from his bag and dumped it on his bed with the ingredients he had already put there. "I mean, I already knows the most of the things we are learning. I had a private tutor before hogwarts, remember? My mother has always believed that it's good to know about out history. Basically all I have to do is to show up and read up on small things I've forgotten."

Blaise grinned and grabbed a similar bag to Draco's from his bed and threw it over his shoulder.

"Come on lets go, we wouldn't want mr prefect here to get detention" He muttered with an amused smirk and tapped his finger at the shining silver badge pinned to the blonde boy's robes with a small 'P' on it.

Draco laughed and followed Blaise out of the common room. They had just gotten out of the dungeons when a third year hufflepuff with curly dark brown hair and blue eyes walked into Blaise.

"Shove off, mudblood" he growled and the two slytherins continued their way to their lessons.

* * *

The day past by quickly for Harry, it was one of his better days, only one time before the transfiguration class had he had the urge to take a calming draught but resisted knowing that it was an addicting potion. His appetite was still strangely low and he had barely eaten anything during lunch and dinner, knowing that food would just make him sick.

He didn't know if he was happy or hurt by the fact that neither Ron nor Hermione had noticed how distant he was and how little he ate. It's not like he wanted to bother them with his little problems, he saw how happy everyone seemed to be and felt rather quilty of how much attention he had been taking during his _tougher times_.

The last class, defence against dark arts, was just over and Harry was going to go and meet Malfoy in the library. He felt a hand on his shoulders as he Ron and Hermione left the classroom. He flinched at the sudden contact and quickly spun around to see Tom Nuit staring at him through emotionless violet eyes.

"Mr Potter, I know that I planned your first lesson tomorrow, but I would like to try something now so I can see how far your magic has developed" He spooke quietly so Ron and Hermione didn't hear. Of course they knew about his private lesson with Nuit in wandless magic but the professor didn't know _that_.

Harry nodded and turned around to Ron and Hermione who was waiting for him, gesturing with his head for them to go without him.

"Okay" He said to Tom as his two best friends walked down the hallway. He would probably be late for his meeting with Malfoy later but this couldn't take that long, could it?

He followed Nuit back into the classroom, who gestured for Harry to sit down at one of the tables.

"Okay" Tom said and clapped his hands together."I need to know where to start tomorrow so.." He lifted his right hand and with a similar graceful jerk like he used to do, a thin book flew of one of the shelves into his open palm. He put it down at he table in front of the one Harry was sitting at.

"Like I've told you before" The professor continued. "To peform wandless magic takes a lot of focus, don't be too disappointed if you don't get it the first times you try it." Harry nodded. "First I want you to try something that might seem very simple, I want you to try to move this book with your mind."

"Erm.. exactly how do I do that?" Harry asked with a frown, staring at the thin book. Tom sighed and ruffled his hair a little.

"Just you know.. Well, try accio" He said "we are going to have to start easy because you are really new at trying to control your magic. Hold out your hand" Harry did as he was told, he stretched out his pale arm in the direction of the book with the palm wide open.

"Now say the incantation loudly and really focus on the obejct" Nuit continued. Harry stared at him a little confused about what he was going to do but tried the best he could.

"Accio" He spoke loud and clearly. Not knowing exactly how he was supposed to 'focus' on the book he simply thought about it, trying to make it take up all of his mind. It didn't move at all and he tried again.

"Accio!" Even louder this time though but the book still wouldn't move an inch.

"Okay, that didn't work" Nuit said, looking like he was thinking of another way to approach the subject.

"I don't understand what you mean; 'focus' on the objects" Harry muttered with a little frown, he let his hand fall to his side and sunk back in the chair.

"You really have to imagine the book flying towards you, when it's verbal spells it's pretty much like with a wand except from the fact that you have to concentrate even more" Nuit explained. "When you get the hang of it you are going to be able to do more things with just your mind and will power. Try again, imagine the book flying towards you."

Harry nodded and once again lifted his arm in thearm as if reaching for the book. He got a clear view of it giving a little shake and then flying into his awaiting hand.

"Accio!" He spoke for the third time that night, this time actually waiting for something to happened. He let out a disappointed sigh when it didn't and shrugged in defeat.

"Ey kiddo, don't give up. It takes a lot of magic and a lot of concentration to do this." Nuit said. The book jerked a little first and then it flew back into the shelf. "It's going to take time to learn and it's going to be tough. Be back here tomorrow after classes as we said and bring your wand."

Harry nodded he never went anywhere without it anyway.

"Bye professor" With that he left the classroom and checked his watch, it hadn't been long, he was going to be late for the library appointment but maybe Malfoy hadn't shown up yet and why the hell did he care if he was a little late? It's not like he was scared of Malfoy.

Harry let out a little laugh causing two first year hufflepuffs in the corridor to stare. The raven haired boy ignored them a little embarrassed.

_No wonder people thought I was insane _he thought and rounded a corner. It only took about five minutes for him to get to the library. He didn't see Malfoy anywhere and walked into it.

He couldn't make out that blond hair through the mass of students doing their homeworks and moved to the more secluded area. As expected the blond boy sat at one of the tables in the corner with a few books spread around on it. He was currently looking through a thick book with dark cover.

He was actually the only student to pick this part of the library to do homeworks, Harry thought it was good though, quieter and easier to concentrate.

Harry sighed and could feel that his palms were getting sweaty. What was up with him today? He closed his eyes for a brief moment and walked up to the slytherin.

"Malfoy" He said surprised of how cool he said it, not nearly as nervous as he was feeling.

"Potter" The blonde boy nodded his head not even looking up from the book. Harry sat down at a chair in front of the slytherin and stared at him, not knowing what to say. He knew that they were going to have to talk since they were going to work together but he didn't want to be the first one to say anything, afraid to say something stupid.

"Right we might as well get started and get done as quick as possible" Malfoy said half an minute later and closed his book, you could clearly see that he didn't to be there but Harry knew how much his potions grades meant to him and that he'd work with anyone to keep them up.

"We are going to have to develope our own potion to cure headache to look through those ingredients books if you need to see what they are used for."

Harry nodded and picked up a not so thick book with brown cover, Malfoy also picked up a new book and started to read through the ingredients. It was quite shocking that the awkwardness was starting to let go and it didn't take before it was like they were nothing but a couple of strangers working together for a school project, which was partly true, they didn't really know each other.

"What about this?" Harry asked staring at his text after ten minutes of silent reading. "Dried nettles, they are used in some potions to reduce pain and nauseous and if we mix it with crushed snake fangs, which takes away stomachache with a little salamender blood, the effect could make it spread around so not only the stomachache disappears but the headache too"

"The effects would probably bee big nasty boils, you can't mix dried nettles and salamender blood." Malfoy said matter-of-factly. "Besides, if we mixed an ingredient that takes away stomachache _and_ another one that takes about both pain and nauseous, the drinker might get addicted."

He looked back in his book and searched through it, his eyes darting from side to side quickly.

"But if we do_ this_." he muttered. "Powdered moonstone and syrup of hellebore are used in the draught of peace to calm anxiety and soothe agitation if we add porcupine quills instead, which can be used to make you more spirited, it could work."

"How could_ that_ work?" Harry asked sceptically with an eyebrow raised. Malfoy sighed impatiently and rubbed his temples.

"Well, I don't know about you but I get a headache when I'm stressed out, have been forced to listen to whiny hufflepuffs all day or haven't gotten a good nightssleep" He said with an irritated look on his face.

Harry nodded for him to go on, he knew exactly what he meant. His headache often came from lack of sleep.

"So, I thought that if your brain could relax with the help of the powdered moonstone and syrup of hellebore and not become overstrained the headache would lessen" The blond boy expalined. "although you would get rather tired that's what the porcupine quills are for, the good thing is that there are no side effects if you mix them."

"That actually makes sence" Harry muttered looking thoughtful.

"Of course it does" Draco smiled cockily. "I didn't get an 'O' in potions for nothing." The raven haired boy snickered a little and to his surprise a small blush graced his cheeks.

"Well I'm glad I got paired up with someone who knows his potions" He mumbled. Draco snorted.

"Yeah, I wonder how Crabbe and Weasel will do, both of them; complete idiots." He said with a laugh. Harry frowned and Draco rolled his eyes.

"Honestly!" he sighed. "It's not like I'm insulting _you_" Harry glared and the blond boy took the hint; he hated when people insulted his friends. The slytherin didn't understand it though, why would anyone be so eager to stand up for their friends like that? He had never had the urge to protect anyone, he knew that his friends could manage on their own and wasn't worried about it at all.

"Whatever" Harry said and pulled out a piece of parchment from his bag, a quill and a bottle of dark blue ink and scribbled down the ingredients on the parchment.

"I guess we are done" He said and stood up. Draco nodded.

"For now" He told the raven haired boy. "But we are going to have to test it before we show it to Snape-- I know we are not supposed to" he spoke louder when Harry opened his mouth to point that exact thing out. "But I don't want to get a 'P' for this assignment, only idiots gets 'P's."

"How are we going to know if it works then?" Harry asked completely ignoring the blond boy's comment. He guessed that it kinda grew onto you when you were around Malfoy. "I mean we have to test it when we have a headache to see if it works."

"Well, I can hit you in the head with a bludger and then you can test it." Malfoy said with a teasing smirk.

"Oh no, you are gonna have to be the one testing it" Harry protested. "You came up with it."

"Exactly" Malfoy exclaimed. "That's why you should test it. I did all the work, at least you can try it." Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Bye Malfoy" He said and stalked off. The blond boy stared after watching him leave, wishing to his surprise that he could have stayed longer. He shook his head with a frown and stood up, with a flick of his wand all of the books had been put back to it's original place

He walked out of the library and down a few corridors when he heard raised voices, he followed them when he recognized Blaise's tone. He rounded a corner and could see Blaise and three other slytherins from their seventh year, Jason, Damon and Ethan in the other end of the corridor.

Jason had short dark brown hair and gray eyes a shade darker then Draco's. He was the shortest of the three guys but more muscular then Ethan, he played chaser in the slytherins quidditch team.

Ethan was shorter by two inches then Damon, he had thick shiny black hair and brown eyes quite similar to Blaise's, they actually had a small resemblance to each other but Ethan's skin was pale instead of the tan Blaise had.

Damon was the tallest and most muscular of the three of them, his hair was black, short and pulled up into really small spikes at the top of his head. His eyes were dark green, nothing like Harry's emerald though. He had high cheekbones and looked to be older then at least twenty instead of the seventeen year old he was.

Draco wondered what they were up to now when he saw the glaring gryffindor standing in front of them, his face flushed in anger and his emerald eyes sparkling dangerously.

"Tsk tsk" Draco heard coming from Ethan. "Shape up, Potter. We wouldn't want Dumbledore's little orphan boy to lose his temper, would we?" The blond boy knew by facts that Ethan had touched a nerve and walked closer to them, apperantly none of them had seen him yet.

He saw Harry say something back but couldn't make out what it was. Within a second he was roughly pressed against the solid wall by Damon who had a sadistic smile on his face, mixed with the fury in his eyes it made him look like a crazy person.

He held Harry by the throat and his pressed his bigger body against the slight boy. The gryffindor grabbed Damon's hand and tried to pry it off of his throat but he was simply too weak. He hated being so small and weak compaired to everyone else.

Draco who had been watching was starting to feel slightly paniced, he what Damon was capable of. He narrowed his eyes in complete fury and strode over to the five of them.

"Let me go" Harry said in what he tried to make sound threatingly but only came out in a small whimper and struggled against the firm grip. The hand around his throat loosened up slightly and he felt another big hand travel from his arm hanging to his side down to his hip slowly.

Harry gasped and shuddered as Damon began to stroke it with his thumb. He struggled even more against the grip but that only caused the bigger boy to put more pressure against his throat and also press his body into Harry harder. He could here the other slytherins snickering in the background and felt tears well up in his eyes. It was unbeliveable how something like that could make him feel so bad.

He heard Damon laughed hashly and he felt rather dizzy even though the hand pressing against his throat wasn't doing it as hard anymore. Damon held his chin in place, bent down quickly and licked the small boy's cheek, he pulled back with the same creepy smile on his face.

That was enough for Harry and he felt a tear slide down the very same cheek slowly. Damon laughed again and for the second time bent down to lick it away when a sharp voice interrupted his actions.

"Damon, just leave him alone." The older boy turned around and stared at his fellow slytherin in surprise, Draco glared at him.

"Don't try to tell me what to do!" Damon snapped.

"He might tell someone" Draco insisted with a frown. He felt Blaise's intence star at the back of his neck, he must have been shocked. Everyone knew how much Draco had hated Potter since first year, it was not like him to back down because someone would 'tell on them' Blaise stronly suspected that something else was up.

"He won't tell anyone" Damon growled and turned back to Harry with crazy eyes and a wicked smirk. "Right?"

Harry gathered the last of his courage and spit in the older boy's face.

"You son of a bitch" Damon growled and lifted his fist.

"Damon, maybe you should leave him alone" Jason muttered, he had always been a coward. He hides behind the big boy's with his cocky smirk and acts all big and scary. "He could tell Dumbledore" Damon seemed to be considering punching Harry but let his fist fall to his side at the same time he let go of Harry who slide down the wall, grabbing his sore throat and coughing slightly.

Damon glared at Draco and walked past him not forgetting to bump into his shoulder on the way. Blaise shot the blond boy a curious look before following Damon with Ethan and Jason fast behind.

Draco turned around awkwardly and stared at Harry who was leaning against the wall breathing heavily. He was fumbling with his bag and managed to open it. Draco saw him search through it with his hands and pull up a small phial.

He could clearly recognize the potion. Harry opened it with shaking fingers and swallowed the content. He visibly calmed down which meant that the potion was doing its job.

"Are you okay?" Draco asked hesitantly. Harry nodded, his eyes were red from the tears hidden behind them and he was shaking slightly. Had he been having a small panic attack? That would explain the calming draught, but why would he carry it around? Had it happened before? Did he have some sort of illness?

"Are you sure?" The blonde boy inquired taking a step closer. Harry met his silver gaze.

"Why do you even care?" He laughed coldly. "Why are you acting so nice all of a sudden I thought you were a heartless bastard." Draco snorted.

"I am" He said simply. "But I can be nice too."

Harry laughed and smiled, something he should do more often, Draco thought and grinned back. The raven haired boy blushed and looked away from the silver gaze. Draco couldn't stop thinking about how cute he looked, there was no point denying the fact that he felt something for the boy who lived.

"Look" Harry muttered seriously. "I think we need to talk." He was clearly nervous and was fidgeting with his fingers. "About.. _the kiss_.." He spoke the last part in a whisper and blushed even more.

_So innocent _Draco thought and smiled.

"It's just.. I'm confused" Harry continued, his voice shaking, his gaze still on the floor. "We have hated each other for over five years and then all of a sudden you kiss me.. and--" Draco looked at him and that's when he admitted it to himself.

_I have feelings for Harry Potter_

It wasn't love, but it was something. An urge to make the smaller boy feel better, to hold him and protect him. How could this have happened all of a sudden? They had as he said hated each other for years and now..

"The past is the past" Draco said and took another step closer to Harry, feeling like Dumbledore as he said that sentence. "This is now. Let me show you how I feel" once again he felt that different part of him take over and he bent down and kissed Harry sweetly on the lips. The smaller boy responded at once this time and parted his full pink lips, he felt Draco's warm tongue slip in and kissed hesitantly back. He was still new at it and felt rather nervous.

Draco could sence how he was feeling and nibbled at Harry's lower lip softly. The smaller boy let out a surprised moan and got lost in the moment. It came naturally and he slipped his hand up into Draco's silk hair and tangled his fingers through the blond locks, he loved how soft it felt.

He softly flicked his tongue over the blonde boy's lower lips. The slytherin carressed the roof of Harry's mouth with his tongue, enjoying the taste of vanilla and wrapped his arms around the gryffindors delicate waist.

He slowly guided Harry backwards and pressed his smaller figure against the wall carefully. He rested his hands on the gryffindors slightly curvy hips and continued to explore his sweet mouth. Harry twirled the top of his tongue around Draco's and slightly sucked at it, the blond boy tasted like mint and smelled like fresh water in morning, Harry had never thought before that anyone could smell like water.

He gripped Draco's neck and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss, their chests were pressed together closely and Harry couldn't believe how the person he had hated for so long could make him feel so amazing. The lack of air was getting to them and Draco pulled back with one last peck at Harry's swollen lips. The gryffindor loved how he did that and shivered in the strong, comforting arms holding him.

Draco rested his forehead against Harry, they were both breathing heavily but the emerald eyed boy couldn't help but smile.

"Not running away again are you?" Draco asked teasingly between small gaps. Harry shook his head every so slightly still resting against the slytherin.

"No" he muttered breathlessly still smiling.. This felt right.


	21. Out Of My Mind

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: So **sorry** it took so long, It's just.. I don't like this story for the moment. I'm sorry, I haven't been replying to many reviews. :S I've gotten two messages from Simon Grenehed from the swedish band Blindside :D and I've pierced my belly button. :) A little newsflash from my life. :P

Special thanks to; _Miguels-Lover,_your review just helped me through this chapter, my authors block and urge to end this story. I will finish it though, I hate it when people abandon their stories. HMPF! btw, if you guys are looking for more HPDM stories, check out my C2, mostly 'M' rated so you have to change rating if you don't see 'em all. Thank you **everyone** for the motivating feedback. :D It's really amazing. :D Sorry again for the late update and to you out there who hates; corny stuff and poetic ramble. I just put those things into my story all the time. xD

Warnings: Slash, angst stuff like that. HP ♥ DM :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. JKR does

* * *

Chapter Twentyone: Out of my mind 

Harry had his forehead pressed against the other boy's chest, noticing how soft his robes felt. He could feel Draco's chest rise and fall with every breath and he even felt his steady heartbeat He pulled away slightly and tilted his head up.

"Malfoy" He whispered with a small frown on his face. The blond boy smirked in amusement.

"Don't you think that we are past that?" He asked and cupped the smaller boy's chin. The hallway was empty, it was one of many leading to the dungoens and people rarely passed through them, if someone _did_ walk by they would be greatly shocked by the scene before them.

Harry had once again placed both of his hands behind Draco's neck. The slytherin let the hand on Harry's face slide down and joined the other one still wrapped around his thin waist. He looked Harry inte the eyes and hugged him tighter, enjoying the feeling of another warm body pressed against his own.

He couldn't believe how their latest kiss could bring out so many emotions inside of him. How was it that someone he had hated for five whole years could make him feel so good?

"Draco" Harry corrected himself seriously, completely forgetting what he was going to say. "I didn't know that you were a decent human being." He muttered. Draco let out a soft and surprising laugh.

"Trust me; I'm not, and besides; there is a lot of things you don't know about me" He answered simply. Harry opened his mouth to say something when the sound of a door slamming shut reached their ears. Both of the two boys quickly pulled away from each other and Harry took a step back, staring around wildly.

"What was that?" He muttered mostly to himself, trying to catch a glimpse of the one who caused the noise.

"I don't know" Draco said with a slight frown. "We should have been more careful, anyone could just have walked right through and seen us" Harry nodded, imagining how hogwarts would react if they found out that he had kissed Draco Malfoy, death eater son.

"Maybe I should go now" He said, starting to feel a little awkward andglancing around one last time through the hallway.

"Right.." Draco muttered, still staring around suspiciously. Harry turned around to leave but turned around again at the sound of the slytherins voice.

"Wait" Draco had called after him and walked up to him. He quickly bent down and placed a soft peck on the smaller boy's lips. He didn't feel like he was kissing his enemy, he felt like a regular teenager flirting with a cute boy. "Don't be a stranger." Harry blushed again at the sign of affection. Draco couldn't help but find it adorable and smirked at him.

There was no point trying to deny that he felt something just because of their five years of fighting, they had not'known' each other, but Draco was certain that he wanted to know more about Harry now, even though he felt like a hufflepuff at that point.

"Right, see you around then" The gryffindor said and left. Draco stared after him for a second before he disappeared around the corner. He turned around and took another direction down to the dungeons, going back to the common room. He soon realized that he had forgotten to ask about the calming potion and frowned to himself, he'd have to remember to do that later.

He entered the slytherin common room feeling happier then he felt for days, no more mixed up feelings. He could see a black mop of hair before he was slammed against the wall forecefully.

"How dare you!" A voice hissed in his ear. "Who the HELL do you think you are!" Draco let a growl escape from his throat in frustration and pushed away the bigger boy.

"Piss off, Damon" He hissed and narrowed his eyes. Damon glared back at him and Draco could see Ethan and Jason doing the same thing sitting behind him on one of the black couches.

Blaise was also there but he didn't look at Draco at all, he was staring at a green candle while swaying his finger back and forth, in and out of the flame.

"You're protecting gryffindors now you traitor!" Damon growled and took a stepped closer to the blond boy, although Draco didn't step back as most people would have done at that point.

"What kind of idiot are you, messing with the golden boy!" Draco shot back just as angrily.

"Well, that's not your problem!" The older boy pointed out furiously, his green eyes growing darker and his face screwed up in anger. "You better stay out of my way, or you'll be sorry." With that he turned around and strode up the stairs, Jason jumped off the couch quickly and glared at Draco for a second before following the bigger boy.

Ethan sighed and nodded at Blaise one time before making his way up the stairs. Draco stared after him with anger shining through his grey eyes. Blaise and Ethan had always been good friends, they had known each other before hogwarts, but Ethan was a year older and had gotten new friends as he started at hogwart, like Damon for example. Some people actually had thought that they were brothers, they were about the same height, same eye color and same hair color.

"What is wrong with you?" Blaise hissed, putting out the candle with his finger and finally looking up to meet Draco's gaze with betrayal in his brown cold eyes. "Why did you do that?"

"What?" Draco snapped, annoyed that his best friend was going to start on him.

"Don't play stupid" Blaise growled and stood up harshly. "Why the hell would you protect _Potter_?"

"You heard what I said to Damon" Draco began to explain with the same fury in his voice. "If we mess with the Golden boy we're gonna get into trouble, and I'm not talking detentions or house points being taken away."

"Don't give me that bullshit" Blaise said furiously. "You didn't do that for us, you did it for _him_. What, are you friends or something! Must I remind you that you two have been enemies for five years?"

"No, we're not friends!" Draco cried. "Bloody hell, I keep you from bothering Potter _one time_ and hell is set loose upon me. It's not a big fucking deal"

"Not a big deal?" Blaise laughed harshly. "It's about house pride, it's about which side you're on, it's about who you make your enemies!"

"Whatever, _Zabini_." Draco hissed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't have to take his crap from you" He sat down on one of the armchairs in the common room, ending their 'conversation', determined not to be the one to storm out of the room.

Blaise did the same and sat down on the couch on the other side of the room, turning his attention to the candle next to the one he had put out earlier. With a stubborn look in his eyes he once again began to play with the flame, he wasn't going anywhere either..

* * *

The next day seemed to fly by and before Harry knew it, he was waiting outside of professor Nuit's office for his first lesson in wandless magic. He knocked three times and waited for the man to open the door. 

"Come in" A voice said from the inside. Harry grabbed the door knob and turned it, opening the door. He walked into the dark office, the curtains were still pulled over the windows and it was exactly like the raven haired boy remebered it.

Harry took a step forward, having a little trouble trying to see through the darkness, even though the light shining through the dark red curtains gave the room a small shade of blood red it was very hard to make out anything in the room. Although it didn't take long for his eyes to get used to it and he could make out Nuit's desk in the other end of the room.

He closed the door and walked over there and sat down in the chair in front of Nuit who was just staring at him curiously.

The professor pointed an elegant finger at a red candle on the desk and it light up in an instant. He did the same to a few other candles all around in the room until it was glowing in a faint orange light.

"Did you bring your wand?" Nuit asked Harry, who nodded.

"Yes" He said and pulled it out of his pocket. Nuit stretched out his hand, grabbed it out of Harry's grasp and stood up. He walked over to the other end of the room and put it on one of the shelves next to a jar with some silver liquid and something small white floating in it.

On his way back to his desk he brought along a small white feather with two black spots on them. He put it down on the desk and sat down at the chair behind it again.

"Now, lets start at once..One of the first things you learn in regular magic is wingardium leviosa." He said, looking at the feather. "That's obviously because it's a really simple spell, especially with something as light as a feather."

"That book might have been a little to heavy for you as a first try, so I want you to try again, but with a feather this time, and also wingardium leviosa is much easier then accio." Harry nodded, Nuit was right, he couldn't even do accio before his fourth year.

"Now do as I told you yesterday." Nuit instructed. "Point your hand at the feather and say the incantation, focus on it like you did when you used wingardium leviosa _with _a wand. Focus." Harry nodded, he felt strangely nervous that he wasn't going to make it, that he'd fail just like occlumency.

With one hand lifted Harry spoke the words, _wingardium leviosa_, with a concentrating frown on his face.He was thinking about what Flitwick had said when he first learnt the spell in his first year. Just like before with the book, the feather didn't move an inch.

Harry stared at it, feeling very disappointed but didn't want to give up and tried again. Tom stood up and walked over to the shelf where the raven haired boy's wand could be found.

He grabbed it and brought it back to his desk. Harry looked away from the feather, let his hand fall to his side and stared at his professor. Nuit put down the wand on the desk a few inches from the feather.

"Try again." He said to Harry lowly. The emerald eyed boy nodded and, even though he was feeling really stupid by now, stretched out his hand into the air and tried to make the feather float with all of his mind.

When he expected nothing to happened like before the white object jerk a little and slowly started to float from the table and into the air. It stayed in the air for a few seconds and Tom let out a triumphed laugh, causing Harry to lose focus and the feather to sink back to it's original place.

"Good work, grasshopper" The professor said with a smile. "Well done."

"It felt a lot easier now, professor" Harry said, still slightly in shock and smiled, feeling really proud of himself. The violet eyed man nodded and held up Harry's wand, twirling it between his fingers gracefully.

"How easy it is to peform wandless magic depends on a lot of things" He explained. "How close you are to the object you wish to cast a spell on and how close you are to your magic source mainly. It's better to try the easier ways first, your homework today is going to be; try to cast a spell with your wand furhter and further away from you. Don't try to use any other object than a feather, I want you to learn on that before we move onto something a little harder. Could you try to make the feather come to you now?"

Nuit placed the wand on a shelf behind himself and the desk and gestured with his hands for Harry to try to cast the spell once more. The raven haired boy did as he had done before but this time tried another spell.

"Accio" The feather lay jerkíng on the desk but didn't move any further than that. "Accio!" Harry said again, a little more forcefully. The white feather jerked once again, this time it moved closer to him slowly. Harry had a lot harder to concentrate the closer it got, he noticed. It took a lot of magic out of him to peform this simple spell.

The feather got closer to his outstetched hand, but dropped a few inches in the air. Harry frowned in concentration, just a little bit more.. a little closer.. The feather fell back to the desk half way through the air.Harry let his hand fall to his side, feeling surprinsingly drained.

"You are getting it, grasshopper!" Nuit said and smiled. "You did good."

"Good?" Harry snapped, very annyoed that he couldn't peform a simple spell like that. "The feather barely got half way through to me, I've summoned a firebolt from inside this castle while down out at the grounds, but I couldn't get the bloody feather to move more then a few inches." He took a deep breath and fell back against the back of his chair in frustration.

"That's different, you had your wand right?" Nuit sighed. "When using a wand the magic comes from the core, in your case I can guess.. pheonix feather?" Harry nodded and was just about to ask how he knew when Tom continued.

"But when you peform wandless magic, it has to come from yourself, the wand is made to bring forth the magic inside of you, but a few wizards and witches have the ability to do it without a wand; _wandless magic_. If the wand is close, it radiates with power that helps the magic to flow, which makes it a lot easier."

Harry nodded finally starting to understand wandless magic and he couldn't wait until he got the hang of it.

"I'll try again" He said and picked up the white feather lying on the desk. He put it back on the desk and pulled back his hand a few inches.

"Accio!" He spoke with a demanding undertone, watching the feather once again fly up in the air about an inch above the desk. He felt his hand shaking and tried to steady it but it wouldn't stop. He feather was moving slowly towards it and Harry grew impatient and tired. He could feel his powers just pouring away by the second.

Just a few inches away now, it was so close. The feather had flown over the edge of the desk now. Harry felt his hand dropping a bit and so did the feather but he managed to keep it from falling to the floor, he frowned in concentration and felt the magic leaving him.

He didn't even notice that he had started panting and shaking badly. He could feel the feathers light touch against on of his stretched out fingers and resisted the urge to reach out for it and grab it. It had to come to him.

When Harry felt the top of the feather tickling his palm, he closed it and smiled in triumph. He had done it. He had actually done wandless magic, a simple spell or not.. He had done it.

"Good work, grasshopper. Although the wand was pretty close and it's going to get harder until you learn how to do it without it nearby." Nuit explained.

"Oh, don't ruin this for me" Harry smiled proudly, he didn't feel so hopeless anymore, maybe this would go better then the occlumency had.

"I'm just pointing it out. I think this is enough for today." Nuit decided. "Practice wandless magic and come back here tomorrow, same time. Don't try too hard spells, you'll wear yourself out if you push it too much. You have to be patient in this remember that, it's not easy and don't expect to be able to do anything too complicated for a while"

"Well, you don't seem to have high hopes for me" Harry muttered rolling his eyes.

"It's not that, I'm just giving you a piece of advice." Tom said seriously and added simply. "Aim low and you won't get disappointed." Harry snorted and stood up.

"I'll remember that" He said. "I'll see you tomorrow then, professor. Bye."

"Tomorrow, grasshopper." Nuit confirmed with a nod good bye.

He held out Harry's wand and the boy grabbed it before leaving the room. Walking down the hallway Harry felt more secure about himself then he had felt for weeks, he walked with his head held up high and a bright smile gracing his features.

* * *

"Draco" A high pitched voice shrieked, causing the blond boy to cringe. The blond boy was currently up in the slytherin boys dormitory, trying to get some peace and quiet, so far he had gotten his wish to come true, he hadn't even seen Blaise since last night after he had stormed out of the common room only a few minutes after their fight. 

A girl with long black hair and dark gray eyes slammed the door open and walked over to Draco who was lying on his bed reading a book about acient spells.

"Oh for the love of god!" He muttered. "can't I get some peace and bloody quiet here?" Pansy ignored his comment and sat down at the edge of his bed.

"So what's this I've been hearing about you protecting Potter?" She asked, not sounding accusing but amused. Draco let out a frustrated sigh and slammed the book shut.

"Piss off, Pansy" He growled, closing his eyes in annoyance he was beginning to get a slight headache from her high pitched voice. "I've already been through all of this with half of the bloody slytherins."

"Yes, but I want to hear it, cause I'm not as dumb as Damon to believe your bullshit stories" Pansy said stubbornly and crossed her arms over her chest with a frown on her face.

"First of all, he didn't believe what I said one bit" Draco said trying to keep himself from cursing Pansy into the next week, he had to remind himself that they had been friends since they were kids in order to do that. "And it's none of your buisness anyway." He kicked out gently and hit Pansy in the hip causing her to fall down to the floor giggling.

"Ouch" She cried standing up, rubbing her hip with a smile on her face. Draco rolled his eyes and brought his attention back to the book, stretching out his legs. Feeling Pansy's presence in the room he found it hard to concentrate and let out a small growl from the back of his throat.

"What!" He snapped looking up, glaring at her. "Leave. Me. Alone!" He could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't going anywhere. Clenching his teeth, Draco tried once again to focus on his book and ignore the stare.

"I know something, you don't know I know" Pansy said in a sing-song voice, twirling a lock of hair between her fingers with a smirk on her face. Draco looked up again this time in confusion and slight worry. She couldn't..?

"I really don't care" He drawled in a usual tone that Pansy was used to hearing, hoping that she wouldn't notice how nervous he really was. No one could know about his and Harry's kiss..es. She raised an eyebrown at him.

"Really?" She asked innocently. "Cause you should, I can only imagine how the other slytherins would react if they found out" Damn it. Draco could tell that she knew, but he also knew that she wouldn't tell anyone if he told him not to, they had after all been friends since they were childern. Draco nodded at her like if she had been a stupid kid in a gesture for her to continue.

"Didn't know that you fancied Potter" She said casually with a hint of amusement in her voice and Draco could have sworn he saw an twinkle in her dark gray eyes. He honestly didn't know how to respond to her bluntness like that and settled with a simple;

"I don't" Pansy let out a harsh laughter and Draco glared at her, completely forgetting about the book lying in his lap.

"Oh yeah? then why were the two of you standing in the dungeon with your tongues shoved down in each others throats?" She raised her eyebrown again. Draco knew that they were no point spending his entire day trying to deny everything, "Cause I saw you, you know"

That noise in the hallway had been Pansy? Draco cursed himself for being so obvious, what the hell had he been thinking kissing Harry Potter in a open hallway.

"You were spying on me or something?" Draco growled staring at her suspiciously.

"No!" Pansy cried. "God, don't be so bloody paranoid. I heard from Jason about what Damon had done to Potter and that _you_ had stopped him, I went out to find you and there you the two of you were, sucking faces." Draco ignored the last bit and excepted her explanation.

"Whatever, it's no big deal" He said angrily. "And you better not tell anyone, because if you do I'll make sure that you'll be sorry." It was not like he didn't know any secrets about Pansy, she didn't want people to know.

"Gee, I won't tell anyone" She cried looking offended. "Merlin, you're moody today."

"Well, I'm getting tired of everyone meddling in things that aren't any of their buisness." Draco said calmly with a growling undertone and to his annoyance Pansy smiled brightly.

"Right, I'll stop.. _meddling_." she said smirking in amusement and walked away towards the door. She raised her hand and placed it on top of the cool, silver knob and turned around looking at Draco again.

"You know, you look kinda like the know-it-all Granger, sitting like that" She pointed out and left with the door closing behind her, smirking. Draco frowned in confusion and looked down at his lap, noticing that he was sitting with his legs crossed on top of the bed with the dark book in his lap and his hands resting on top of the cover of it.

He sighed and threw down the book on the floor, there was no way he was going to be able to concentrate now. He stood up and walked down to the common room, trying to see if Blaise was there but the room was almost empty except from a few younger students studying in the corner.

Draco cursed as he realized that dinner was soon over and rushed out of the common room towards the great hall.

* * *

Harry sat at the gryffindor table, listening to his friends' conversations and picking at the food on his plate. A sudden tiredness had hit him right before dinner and his stomach felt rather empty by now. Staring at the food in front of him he couldn't bring himself to take another bite, even though he hadn't eaten much. 

He felt his stomach hurl and he looked away from all the food lying on the table, had it always been this greasy and fat? He took a sip from the water in his goblet and forced it down his throat, before taking a few deep breaths to calm his stomach.

He poked at his chicken with a fork with a disgusted look on his face. He stabbed it through a small piece of potato and nibbled on it slightly before putting it down again on the table. The taste made him nauseous.

He felt something at his shoulder, flinched and slapped it away quickly with slightly wide eyes. He looked to his right and saw Ron stare at his with a frown on his tanned face.

"What's wrong Harry? I was just wondering why you weren't eating." He said, staring at his pale and thin friend and placing a hand on his arm. Harry felt uncomfortable at once and pulled back his shoulder and arm slightly in a sort of shrug, so Ron's hand fell to the bench.

"I'm just not hungry" He rep_lied_ brushing away a piece of hair falling into his emerald eyes. Ron nodded and turned back to his conversation with Dean about their new defence against dark arts teacher, that vampire seemed to be a very hot topic for the students to discuss.

"I just think it's weird witha dangerous creature training us to defend ourselves from people like himself." Ron muttered, he had never liked the fact that there was a vampire around them.

"I agree" Hermione joined in. "I read that when a vampire is transformed they lose all abilities to feel, they can't even feel sympathi for other people and the fact that they kill people for food isn't that comforting either." Harry looked up at the teachers' table and saw Nuit sitting and sipping a goblet between professor Filch and Hagrid. He couldn't imagine him being evil, but it wouldn't be the first time he had been wrong about a teacher.

He turned back to listen to the gryffindor's conversation, too tired to join in with his oppinion.

"-- and to kill a vampire you have to stake them with a sharp piece of wood or whatever" Ron said with a slight shudder."Through the heart"

"So?" Dean raised an eyebrow. "Don't you think that you would have died if someone stabbed you through the heart? I think professor Nuit is cool, I always knew that we were going to have a vampire as a teacher sometime, didn't I tell you?" Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You won't think he's so.. _cool _once he slits your throat." She said sharply causing Ron to flinch slightly in surprise and Dean to shake his head slowly.

"Do you really think that Dumbledore would hire someone who is dangerous to teach us?" He stated. Hermione and Ron exchanged looks and even Harry snorted quietly, everyone knowing about Dumbledore's problem with finding .. 'normal' people to take the postition as defence against dark arts teacher.

A sudden illness hit Harry suddenly and he groaned slightly and stood up quickly. He jumped over the bench, cursing it for being in his way and rushed out of the great hall.

Running down the corridors only made him feel worse and he had to swallow hard not to throw up. He rounded a corner and finally spotted a bathroom, and thankfully it was for boys.

He ran to the nearest toilet and fell down in a heap on the floor next to it, his knees hitting the hard floor painfully. The nauseating feeling in his stomach took over and he threw up the little dinner and lunch he had had.

He took a few deep breaths and fell back leaning against the bathroom wall, feeling rather weak and shaky. The bad taste in his mouth was almost enough to make him vomit again but he didn't think that there were anything left in his stomach to do so.

He coughed lightly, it felt like he had something left stuck in his throat. He stood up, grabbing the wall as he did so and walked over to one of the sinks.

He turned it on and let the cool water shower his small, delicate hands. He took a few gulps of the cold water with the help of his two hands and wiped away the drops running down from the corner of his mouth, down to his chin, with his sleeve.

He took another few deep breaths and looked up into the mirror above the sink. There he was, looking paler and thinner then ever. He brushed away a few strands of hair covering his forehead and revealed the pink scar over his left eye.

Sighing he let the hair fall back into it's place and cover up the small lightening bolt. How he wished that it would just disappear on day, that he would just be a 'normal' boy with nothing to worry about except from homeworks and messed up relationships.

The pressure of the prophecy had started to get to him, everything felt hopless. Even if he did learn occlumency, legilimency and wandless magic, would it be enough to beat the most powerful and dark wizard of all time? He doubted it.

He couldn't imagine himself duelling with Voldemort and actually having a chance. The dark lord had had decades of training with dark magic and Harry hadn't even graduated from hogwarts yet..

The dark lord had no weakness. Harry looked himself carefully in the mirror and almost laughed out loud. _Such a weak little boy _he thought, seeing a small bruise right under his left ear.

How hopeless he was. Harry let out a choked growl in frustration and slammed his hands into the sides of the sink, feeling them throbbing slightly from the force of it.

He rubbed them together to get away the feeling and both of his hands started to itch slightly. He rolled his eyes and dragged his short nails over the delicate skin making small red marks over it. It only seemed to get worse and he pressed down harder and harder over the back of his hand.

It started to burn slightly but the itch didn't want to go away and Harry pressed down _even_ harder, digging his nailed into the tender, pale skin. Over the back of his hand, over the palm. His skin was pink and irritated and the scratches got even deeper and deeper.

His hands were trembling a little but he didn't notice it and his nails travelled up to his fingers and scratched them harshly, tearing at the skin under them, it trailed down to the palm again and lower.. lower.

His wrist seemed to be throbbing, it was almost like something was crawling through his hands. He jerked slightly and pulled away his hand as he pressed through the skin on the wrist. A small drop of blood ran down his arms and landed on the with tile floor.

He looked at the small wound on his wrist and blinked once.. twice. He felt suddenly really disgusted with himself and his weakness, it just seemed to wash over as he saw what he had accidently done to himself. No, he was not going _there_.

The small cut was not enough to draw any more blood, but it was stinging. He rubbed away the small drop of blood in the cut on the sleeve and did the same with the drop on the floor, only using his shoe this time.

He heard the heavy door to the bathroom open and quickly turned around to face whoever just walked in. He blinked at the sight of Neville Longbottom standing in the doorway almost frozen on the spot. He smiled brightly at Harry and shut the door behind him as he walked over to the sink next to the one Harry was standing by.

"Hiya Harry" He said and turned on the tap, the water flowing down freely, and put his hands under the cool liquid. Harry noticed that they were looking red and swollen.

"Hey Neville" He said, looking up at the boy's face before turning back his gaze to stare at his hands. "Are you okay? What happened?" He frowned slightly as Neville grimaced and his hands twitched.

"I had a little accident with my mimbulus mimbletonia" He explained. "I got some weird yellow liquid from it all over my hands. I know it's not poisonus, it just stings a lot."

"Erm.. Neville, maybe you should go to the hospital wing." Harry suggested with a frown, worriedly. "It doesn't look good." The other boy let out a small groan and his hand shook slightly.

"No, it's not poisonus" Neville repeated stubbornly, rubbing his hands together under the cold jet of water.

"Yeah, but I think that madame Pomfrey could get you something for the swelling." Harry said. Neville whimpered with his face slightly screwed up in pain. "That's it I'm taking you to the hospital" Harry grabbed the other boy's and linked their arms together gently, leading him out of the bathroom, the water still running behind them.

Harry was leading Neville down the corridors when someone bumped into the latter one's shoulder. Neville gasped in surprise and in slight pain and clutched his hand against his chest.

"Watch it." They heard a sneering voice hiss, Harry knew that voice and so did Neville. They turned around and saw that Malfoy was walking towards the great hall, he hadn't bothered to look up at all.

"Come on." Harry muttered to Neville and tugged at his arm gently, so he wouldn't cause his friend anymore pain. They walked down to the infirmary without making a sound except from their footsteps echoing in the empty hallways and Neville's whimpering if he moved his arm too sudden.

Harry pushed the door to the hospital wing open and walked in pulling Neville along with him. Madame Pomfrey was standing in front of an open cupboard, going through the vials in it. She turned around at the sound of the door opening with a crystal vial with some purple liquid in it in her hand.

"Mr Potter, what have you done now?" She cried with a frown and walked over to him quickly, leaving the cupboard open and putting a hand over his forehead. Harry sighed and pulled away from the touch.

"It's not me" He said, feeling slightly amused at madame Pomfrey's reaction as he walked through the door. "It's Neville" He nodded his head at the boy next to him, who looked at the edge of tears with his hans pressed against his chest in what looked like a protective manner.

Madame Pomfrey looked over him like she hadn't seen him untill now and Harry guessed that she hadn't. She ushered him over to one of the beds and pushed him down so that he was sitting on the edge with his elbows in his lap. She took one look at his hands and turned around, walking over to the other end of the room.Harry sat down at the bed next to it, staring at Neville.

The medi-witch opened another cupboard and searched through it for a few seconds before she pulled out a white tube with some salve in ut before walking back to Neville and kneeling in front of him. She opened the tub and squeezed out some of the content into her hand.

"What happened?" She asked as she grabbed both of Neville's hands and rubbed the salve onto them carefully.

"M-m-my mimbulus mimbletonia secreted some yellow liquid on my hands" Neville explained, his voice slightly shaking. "I didn't think it was such a big deal, it just stung a little."

"Silly boy, why don't you just get yourself an owl like all the other children do?" Madame Pomfrey muttered, shaking her head slightly and finished with the salve. The swelling had already gone down a little but his hands still looked as red as before. Neville blushed at what she had said and moved his fingers a little, they didn't hurt anymore.

"It will take a few minutes for the swelling to go down completely" The medi-witch said and stood up. "Your hands will probably start itching after a few hours, but you can't touch it, it could start stinging again, so I'm going to give you some lotion for the itch. Follow me, mr Longbottom."

Neville stood up too and followed madame Pomfrey into another room the door was closed behind him, leaving Harry alone in the room. Sighing, Harry left his hands slip into his pocket and frowned as he felt something brush against his right hand. He pulled it out and saw that it was a copy of his and Draco's cure for headaches, scribbled down on a little piece of parchment.

He snorted, it had been left in his pocket for days now. He opened his dark bag and put the note down into it, a small clink was heard as Harry's fingers collided with something hard and slightly cold. He let the note lie in his bag and instead lifted up the other harder object.

It was a small, empty glass vial. He once again put down his hand into the bag, searching through it with his thin, pale fingers. They brushed against the hard cover of a book, the thin tip of his wand, a soft feather he used as a quill and another well formed glass vial, this one was also empty.

Harry threw down the two empty vials on the bed and digged through the bag, looking for more. He let out a irritated growl, all the things inside of the bag was getting in his way. He threw down book after book on the bed, next to the vials, followed by his quills, parchment and wand.

Two other empty vials was found at the bottom om the now empty bag and nothing more. Harry frowned and let his fingers trail against the soft fabric of the bag to be sure that there wasn't anything there. He didn't have anymore calming potions.

Only the thought made Harry nervous, what if he paniced and didn't have anything for it? His friends would send him right back to the hospital like he was depressed, insane or something.

He pushed back all his belonging into the bag, except from the empty vials, they lay on the white bed anda small drop of the content that had been left fell down onto the white sheets. Harry stared at the door which Neville and madame Pomfrey had went through, they still hadn't come back.

He glanced quickly at the potion cupboard where he had gotten his calming draughts the last time, noticing for the first time that it was slightly open, madame Pomfrey always locked her cupboards. He shoot the door another glance, yet there were no sign that Neville or the medi-witch would come back anytime soon, of course he couldn't know that.

He jumped off the bed with his bag hanging over his right shoulder and rushed over to the cupboard, opening it quietly, he quickly scanned through it untill he found the vials with the familiar light blue liquid in it. He's eyes darted once again at the door before he grabbed five or six vials of calming draught and putting them into his bag carefully.

He frowned, it looked so suspicious that he pulled the other vials with calming draught forwards, so that it would appear to be more than it was. He closed the cupboard and walked bag to the bed, seating himself on the edge again and scooping down the empty vials into his bag too, come on, he couldn't leave them there.

A few minutes later Neville and madame Pomfrey came back through the door, the boy's hands had bandage over them, only leaving the tip of each finger bare. He looked at Harry in surprise and smiled brightly.

"I didn't think you would wait for me." He said. He was holding a small bottle with somea light red potion in it.

"Remember mr Longbottom; let the bandage stay on for an hour and then use the potion if you feel that you need it, you can go." Madame Pomfrey said sternly to Neville.

"Okay." The boy muttered, nodding. He and Harry said their good byes to madame Pomfrey and left the hospital wing.

"I think I'm going to head back to the common room now" Neville said and stopped in the middle of the hallway, before turning away and slowly walking around the corner. Although he had only taken a few steps before Harry walked up on his side.

"Okay, I'm going there too" He said, Ron and Hermione were probably still in the great hall. "I have my charms essay to finish before class and besides I already ate." Neville looked at him and smiled slightly, as they walked back to the gryffindor common room. Harry took another look at the boy beside him; Neville was a slightly chubby boy with dark brown, almost black hair and friendly eyes, they were slightly wide and made him look a little nervous, especially since he had a habit to dart them back and forth whenever he was around a lot of people.

Harry couldn't help but think what would have happened if Voldemort had attacked Neville instead of himself that day fifteen years ago, what would the world have been like? Had Neville even survived that night? Harry shook his head, trying to clear him minds off of those thoughts, there was no point wondering how things _could _have been, this is reality and nothing could change the past, it was the future he had to think about.

"Kelpie" Harry said as they reached the fat lady's portrait, it swung open revealing the gryffindor common room. The two boys walked through the hole and Harry swooped down onto one of the big couches in front of the fireplace, leaning backwars against the soft cushions. He stretched his arms, high in the air and saw Neville wince slightly as the raven haired boy's arms and shoulders gave away a few cracking sounds.

"So you wanna play chess or something?" He asked the boy who was still standing up in the middle of the common room. Neville looked at him and frowned.

"Didn't you have that charms essay to finish?" He asked, distantly. Harry shrugged a little and yawned. He knew that even if he started with the essay he wouldn't get much done, his thoughts would probably wander off and he would spend the rest of the lunch thinking about stuff that didn't even matter anyway.

"I'm not in the mood for studying" He explained. "Why do you have something else to do?" Neville shrugged too and looked away a little. Harry got the feeling that Neville didn't want to be there.

"Not really.. I just.. Nothing.." The brown eyed boy ended up muttering, still not moving. Honestly, he didn't know if he should sit down with Harry or escape up into the dormitory.

"Well, we don't have to play chess." Harry continued. "We could always do something else if you want, exploading snap--"

"It's not that, Harry" Neville interrupted before the raven haired boy could suggest anything else. Harry looked at him as if waiting for him to continue, the boy felt himself choke on his own words that never left his mouth.

"What's wrong, Neville?" Harry asked worriedly, the other boy looked like a mix between sad and nervous. "Are you okay? Do you need to go back to the hospital wing or something?" He straigented up in the couch and stared at the other boy, ready to jump of his spot if he would faint or anything like that. Neville sighed.

"You don't have to pretend to care you know, Harry" He said, it was said in such a weak and quiet tone that Harry had almost missed it. He tried to search for Neville's eyes but the other boy, refused to meet his gaze and stared everywhere but at him.

"What do you mean?" The raven haired boy asked a little harsher than he had wanted it to come out like. "What do you mean 'pretend' to care?" He had to admit that he felt slightly irritated, Neville had just called him false.

"It's just.. You followed me to the hospital wing and that was really nice of you, but you don't have to stay around me now" The latter boy muttered, looking down at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Nevilly, what--" Harry begun but was once again interrupted by the other boy.

"Do you ever feel that you aren't good enough?" Neville asked, his tone sounded broken and defeated, he muttered quietly to himself. "Of course you don't" Harry blinked, taken aback by the sudden mood change of his fellow gryffindor.

"Good enough for what?" He asked. Neville stayed silent for a while again and when Harry did no longer await an answer, he once again heard that sad and broken voice, it sounded as if it was someone completely different from Neville was talking, the voice was so distant, montone, but yet so filled with sadness and smothered despair.

"Whatever. Your friends.. Your family's name.. Your classmates.. This world.. You know, like you don't deserve to be around." He said. "You see all these people around you, they are kind, smart, noble and brave; just like you're expected to be, but aren't.." Harry honestly didn't know what to say, he had not expected Neville to say something like that. Was it really how he felt? That he wasn't good enough for the rest of the gryffindors.

"You try so hard to be just like them." He continued sadly, looking up and meeting Harry's gaze. "But it's never enough, you just aren't good enough to be like them." He sighed. "I can't brew a potion to save my life, I can't even handle a bloody plant.." He lifted his hands covered in bandage and let out a humorless laugh. ".. Everyone is good at something, I can't do anything."

"Come on Neville, don't be like that, remember how great you did in DA last year." Harry pointed up, trying to cheer up his friend. "And you got an 'O' in herbology´, that's great. What makes you think that you aren't good enough?" Neville shrugged sadly..

"I dont know." He muttered. "It's just.. You should hear how my grandma talks about my dad, how good he was in school, how smart and talented he is.. was.. I think she is disappointed that I didn't turn out more like him. " His shoulder slumped. "I'm afraid of what people will think about me.. Do you ever feel like that?"

Harry thought about how he had felt when he realized that he was bi, the first thing that had crossed him mind was "What will Ron and Hermione think of me now? Will they accept me or abandon me like Ron did in our fourth year?".

"Yes, I do" He answered simply. "Everyone does one time or another, it's completely normal. Remember that time Seamus wore that black turtle neck that day and Dean made fun of him for it?" Neville nodded. "He threw it away the next day, have you ever seen him wear it since then? No, and you know how Seamus is, even he has his insecure moments.." Neville snorted.

"I guess you're right Harry.. Thanks" He muttered. "But still.. I just hate to disappoint my grandma and I keep wondering if.. if my parents would have been proud of me if they were here.." Harry frowned, he had pondered about the same thing when he was a little kid and didn't know anything about his parents, he always wondered what they were like and what they would have thought of him.

"Neville, just let it go. Don't ponder these things." He said. Neville nodded.

"I know I shouldn't." He said in a low tone and let out a bitter laugh. "I just can't help it. God, I really brought down the mood didn't I?" He let out a depressed sigh and sank down to the floor, leaning backwards against the stone wall and stretched out his legs in front of him. Harry looked at the other boy and realized that he had never had a real conversation with him before, he had never noticed how much Neville had matured since first year. They did talk to each other, but not really _talked._

The once skittish boy had now developed quite a bit; he did not sound so nervous and squeaky anymore, his voice was deeper and softer now. His eyes had a certain warmth in them that gave him a friendly look, but in those brown depths there was a twinkle of confusion; he looked somewhat lost now. He had certainly grown quite a bit through the years, but the biggest change could be seen in his eyes and heard in his voice.

Eyes.. - The window to your soul, they seemed to reflect Neville's inner, the inner of a lost and confused little boy. Someone who was trying to find his place in the world, who was still trying to figure everything out. Harry had never noticed this about Neville before, he had never taken a second look, never given it a second thought.

He felt a little bad after realizing this, maybe that was why Neville felt so left out. No one really took notice of him, he was just one in the crowd, another person in the world. No one would ever know what was inside of his mind, not unless they stopped to take another look, listen a little more carefully, a little more attentive.

Harry stood up and walked over to the spot where Neville was leaning against the wall. He sat down on the floor in front of him and stared at him, trying to meet the other boy's gaze, after only a few seconds he looked up and Harry could see the sadness in his eyes.

He didn't say anything, at loss for words. He wanted to explain himself, apologize for something, he didn't even know what. For neglecting his friend? Of course Neville must have felt lonely, he grew up without his parents, he didn't have a best friend, someone to be there just to listen, nor did he have a girlfriend.

"I'm sure they would have been. Your parentsand proud that is" He settled on saying, he knew that it didn't mean anything, he knew that his words could never replace Neville's parents thoughts but it still felt like the right thing to say and to his surprise Neville smiled happily.

"Thanks Harry" He whispered. There was a few minutes of silence, it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. They sat there not saying anything until Neville turned his head to look at Harry's profile.

"How about a game of chess?" He asked, Harry snorted and nodded.

"Sure" He replied. Neville stood up and ran upstairs to get chess set while Harry sat there looking after him. Neville certainly had changed, or maybe it was Harry who hadn't seen the real him before. All he knew now was that you could never know what was going on inside of a person's head, he thought that he finally understood what Snape had been talking about in his fifth year. A person's mind was a complicated thing, you couldn't just open and read it like some book, it was a mystery no one except from yourself could solve.


	22. Icicle

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: .Wow thanks to all of my reviewers, I can't believe that I've gotten so much nice feedback. :D It means so much. :) :P It's saturday in this chapter and doesn't really that much of a point except for some time off for our little hero and Harry and Draco clearing things up. :) :P Didn't like this chapter though. (I hate when authores writes that, but really this felt so.. I don't know..)

This chapter was going to be longer, BUT.. but, my computer crashed and I can only get access to a computer afew minutes during school on wednesdays, so I thought I'd post this shorter than planned so you know this. Those _people_ were supposed to fix my computer weeks ago. Damn elgiganten.

Warnings: Angst, slash, language and such.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not make any money doing this and .. you know.. stuff

* * *

Chapter Twentytwo: Icicle 

It was the beginning of October and the snow had already begun to fall over the grounds. The sun would shine but the grass was still covered with white, glittering snow. The trees though were still as green as before with exceptions from some snow hanging from the branches, but mostly it had already melted and ran down the leaves as small drops of water.

"Harry, wake up" Harry groaned and shifted in his bed, trying to get as comfortable as possible. A jet of sunlight shone through the window and into Harry's sleepy face. He frowned in annoyance, his eyes still firmly shut and turned over to his other side, feeling the warmth of the sun shining against his back.

A pair of hands gently shook his shoulders. He let out a breath through his nose and ignored it, his eyes felt heavy and almost impossible to open, he didn't think that he would be able to do it even if he tried. His limbs were stiff and sore, he really didn't want to leave the bed any time soon.

"Harry come one, breakfast starts soon." The voice said again softly. Harry groaned and pushed himself up on his hands, his shoulders giving away a few cracking sounds. His eyes were still closed as he sat up with his legs crossed in order to keep himself from falling back against the bed.

He rubbed the sleep out of his emerald eyes and slowly opened them, his vision slightly blurry. He blinked once, twice and it all came back into focus, he was still getting used to not having to wear his glasses after the potions incident. Neville was standing next to his bed, dressed in a casual gray shirt and a pair of dark jeans, he was just pulling on his black robes over his clothes when he saw that Harry was waking up.

"Hey." Was the only thing he said and smiled at him warmly. Harry could see that he looked happier than he had done last night, he seemed to stand straighter and when he smiled you could see the happiness in his eyes this time, it was like a tremendous weight had been lifted off ofhis shoulders.

Harry muttered something back still a little dazed of sleep and leaned over the edge of the bed, grabbing a pair of pants lying on the floor. He lay back against the bed and changed from his PJ pants to his regular under the cover, he closed his eyes as his heavy head hit the pillow, and his hands fell from his legs, as he pulled up his zipper and down to the matress.

"Harry, don't fall back asleep again" Neville said, who was kneeling down next to another bed and fumbling with something under it and finally found two odd socks, one dark purple and one gray. He shrugged and pulled them on.

Harry jerked and gave away a snort, he found his robes from last night lying carelessly on the floor and picked them up too. Closing the hanging around his bed he changed into them slowly, the sleepiness holding him back. He always wanted privacy when he changed, he had noticed that Seamus, Ron and Dean wasn't as shy about it as he was.

He couldn't help it, he just hated being seen without a shirt. He didn't like when people saw his skinny chest with ribs sticking out in several places and his pale skin with still fading bruises and cuts, he knew that scars were formed and that they would probably take forever to go away.

When he was done he appeared from behind the hangings again, dressed in all black robes. He yawned and stretched his arms high above his head and rolled his shoulder, reciving yet another small crack. He always felt stiff and sore in the mornings, also his fingers were a little swollen and hard to move. He was used to it though, and besides it wa _mostly_ only in the mornings it happened.

Harry looked around in the dormitory, the sun light up the five beds in the room, things were tossed carelessly on the floor, parchment, quills, a few books and clothes lay in piles of different sizes. The house elves hadn't been there to clean it up yet, the came every second night when all the boys were still sleeping. Harry noticed that the beds were all empty, it was only him and Neville still left in the room. He was actually quite shocked to admit it, Neville always woke up before everyone else.

"How long have you been up?" He asked the boy who was now sitting on his own bed, putting on a purple sock, there was a small hole under the heel, but Neville didn't seem to notice.

"Ten minutes or so." He answered, stood up and slipped into his black shoes. "Seamus, Dean and Ron left only a few minutes ago, I told them that I would wake you up in time for breakfast." Harry nodded and smiled encouraging a she heard that Neville still sounded a little nervous when he spoke to him but the uncertain look in his eyes faded and he smiled back.

"Ready to go?" Harry asked the other boy who nodded quickly. The emerald eyed boy grabbed his bag, threw it over his shoulder and made to leave when Neville's voice made him stop.

"We don't have class today, it's saturday." He said. Harry turned around and stared in confusion at him. Neville nodded at his arm. "The bag" Harry cluthed his bag with one hand and stared at it.

"Right" he muttered, trying to look embarrassed so that Neville would think that he had just grabbed it because he had forgotton that it was saturday. The reason why he wanted to bring it was the calming potions inside of it that still lay there since last night, he wasn't sure if he would be needing them now, it was better to be on the safe side. He realized that Neville was staring worriedly at him and he jerked slightly.

"I have to go to the bathroom" the boy said quickly, avoiding Neville's gaze. "I'll be right back." He turned around and stode over to one of the doors in the other end of the room, one lead to the common room and the other one lead to the boys' bathroom. He closed it with both hands and leaned back against it with a soft sigh.

The bathroom was big enough for five boys to use; it was decorated in white and golden tiles, there were five sinks in the end of the room with one big mirror reaching across and hanging over all of them. The wash basins were made out of beautiful white marble but the taps were golden, on the side of the sinks five red towels were hanging on the wall. Standing next to another wall there were three toilet stalls which were light silver. Harry hated coming here early in the mornings, the light seemed even more painful for the eyes before you had really woken up; the white, silver and golden shining in the light seemed almost blinding. There was another door there as well, it lead to the gryffindor boys' seperate showers.

Harry walked over to the sinks and turned on the tap. He looked up in the mirror; his skinn was still as pale, his face still as thin and the bags under his eyes were still there. His large emerald eyes were looking dazed from sleep and he was squinting in the light to keep it out of them. He gathered some water into the palm off his small hands and washed his face quickly, rubbing his tired eyes.

It was a lot easier to keep his eyes open in the light now. He grabbed a red towel that was hanging from the wall next to the sinks and dried the water off of his hands. After putting it back on his orginal place he opened the bag hanging on his shoulder and grabbed one of the vials with calming potions from it. He quickly placed it in one of his deep pockets and made sure that the rest were hidden under the soft material of his gryffindor scarf. A lot of the students had their scarfs with them in case they were going out in the cold weather now adays.

He ran a hand through his dark mop of hair and watched in the mirror as the soft locks were pulled back slightly and then fell back into his face. It got slightly messier but Harry had never liked it flat anyway, the only time it would lie down was when it was soaking wet. He suddenly remembered that Neville was waiting for him and left the bathroom with his bag swaying by his side.

Neville sat on Harry's bed and looked up at the sound of the door opening and giving away a small creak. Harry threw down the bag on his bed, but changed his mind and pushed it down under it instead; he still hadn't forgotten about the incident in his second year when he came back to the dormitory and found all of his stuff lying tossed around all over the floor, not that hiding it under the bed would help much but it was better than leaving it exposed.

"So shall we go then?" He asked Neville. The other boy nodded and they left the room. When they got to the great hall, Harry could see Ron and Hermione sitting next to each other at the gryffindor table. He walked over to the place they were seated with Neville following behind.

He was surprised when anger filled him up, he didn't know why but he couldn't help but feel irritated. He sat down on Hermione's side making sure that they knew he was there. Why did he suddenly feel so angry? Neville sat down beside him. He had felt so calm when he entered the great hall and at the sight of his friends - the sight that usually made him smile, made him feel angry and.. betrayed?

Maybe it was the fact that he all of a sudden felt left out, Ron and Hermione had seemed so distant these last days. He was used to their questions; annoying questions, but still he felt like they cared whenever he was asked if he was feeling okay. Maybe they had given up on him and his stubborness, maybe they were tired of him snapping whenever they just wanted to make sure that their best friend was okay.

Or maybe they just didn't care anymore. Were they sick of him taking up all their time? Sick of having to worry about him when they could think about more important stuff.. happier stuff. But what if they thought that this is what Harry wanted - to be left alone, that's what he always said when they were smothering him with questions.

He thought that that was what he had wanted . be left alone, but to be honest; he wanted their attention. He wanted people to ask how he felt, even if he wasn't ready to talk about it, it made him feel like someone cared about him, wanted to know what was going on inside of him. So maybe he was seeking for people's attention, but not so they could admire him, he wanted to know that people cared for him.

"Harry!" Harry jerked out of his thoughts and snapped his head to his right. Neville stared at him with a frown. "Erm.. you seemed a little lost there for awhile." The raven haired boy smiled, there, that was all that he wanted; someone to sit up and take notice of him. Not like Harry 'Boy-Who-Lived' Potter but just Harry. Plain and simple.

"Just thinking about stuff." He said and reached up to ruffle his hair. He felt his stomach twist a little and realized that he actually felt a little hungry. Looking over the table and all the food he didn't know if the hunger could defeat the feeling of sickness that hit him at the sight. He shook his head; he had to eat something, he had begun to feel tired and slower these last days and that wasn't a good sign. All the work was draining him and the sleep didn't seem to give him enough energy.

How was he supposed to manage his school work, occlumency and wandless magic if he didn't start to get a grip of himself?

So he grabbed a golden bowl full with pink stawberry yoghurt and dragged it over to his plate. With a big spoon he poured some one the content into his goblet and lifted it to his mouth. The first gulp was the hardest one; he felt his stomach twist sickening and the substance stuck in his throat before he finally managed to swallow it hard. Now he just felt even more hungry and sick at the same time.

He knew that yoghurt was easier for him to get down than for example egg or sausages. He could feel that his stomach wanted to get rid of it but he pushed away the feeling and instead took another gulp and this time swallowing it all at once before he could taste it too long in his mouth. He shuddered and clenched his jaws shut.

After that it was a lot easier to get the rest of it down and Harry felt oddly proud when he stared at the empty goblet in front of him. He no longer felt hungry or nauseous, but the aching in the pit of him stomach wouldn't go away, but he knew that it would a lot more than that for him to be able to feel allright again. He drank some water to clean his mouth from the remainings of the yoghurt and licked his lips.

He saw that Ron's plate was loaded with egg, sausages and bacon and wondered when he'd be able to eat like that, it probably would take awhile considering how Harry felt at the time and besides; he was a lot smaller than Ron was.

The raven haired boy grabbed a green apple (he simply didn't like the red ones and the yellow ones were to sour for his taste) and put it into another one of his deep pockets in his robes, it didn't even leave a bulge. He knew that while he still was feeling like this about food it was better to eat small and light food often than big meals three times a day.

Since it was saturday today there obviously wasn't any classes, most of the students just relaxed all day or took the time to finish some homeworks, especially the students in their fifth and seventh year.

Ron and Hermione was bickering about the usual stuff; homeworks and Harry rolled his eyes. Instead of turning to Ron as he had planned he turned to Neville.

"Neville what are you going to do today?" He asked the boy who was chewing on a piece of toast. He swallowed and looked thoughtful for a second.

"hm.. I think I've done most of my homeworks." He muttered and then nodded his head mostly to himself. "Yupp, I'm done. I might go outside, there's this little place behind the third greenhouse I like to go to. It's quiet and really beautiful, even when it's snowing.." He blushed all of a sudden. "I know I'm being ridiculous but it's nice to go there when you need to clear your mind."

Harry nodded, he completely understood. Why was it all of sudden that he felt that he had so much in common with Neville? Maybe he just hadn't thought about it before.

"Sounds cool. You go there often?" He questioned. Neville shrugged before answering;

"Sometimes, when it's warm I like to go there and do my homeworks, it's not as crowded as the common room" He explained. "Hey, I can show you if you want to, it's really nice." Harry frowned, it's not that he didn'twant to see he just felt like he was invading Neville's private space.. Although he had been the one to ask him to follow.

"Sure" He said with a smile. Neville beamed and stood up, Harry did the same hesitantly, were they going now? Together they left the great hall.. The castle.. And stepped out into the sunlight, they didn't bother with their scarfs because even though there lay snow on the grounds it wasn't cold at all right now.

The snow was soft and not too deep which made it easy to go through. Neville was the one leading them down to the third greenhouse, _obviously since he was the only one who knew where the spot lay exactly_, with Harry following in his tracks. The wind swept through his unruly raven hair, messing it up even more and small flakes of snow flew up from the ground and hit him in the face.

It was first now Harry noticed that the air was a little chilly so he wrapped his cloak tighter around his delicate body to keep the wind out. It was in these kind of situations Harry was glad that his sight had improved since that day in the hospital so he didn't need his glasses, they would probably have been all fogged up.

His brilliant green eyes stung a little though, he blinked twice and lowered his head to stare at the ground he was walking on instead, that kept the wind out of his face too. His eyes were puffy, the tip of his nose red and swollen and his usually pale cheeks was tinged pink, it was colder than he had thought. Apparantly Neville didn't think so, he kept on walking in a slow pace with his eyes scanning the tree's behind the third greenhouse which was getting closer and closer.

"_Stupid children_" A low voice was heard right behind Harry. The raven haired boy quickly spunn around to see who was the one who had said it. To his surprise there was no one there, maybe the person was invisible? The voice was hushed, like a whisper, yet it was spoken so clearly and it sounded to close.

He frowned and was going to ask Neville if he had heard the voice when he noticed that the other boy was continued walking in the same slow pace as before. He followed him with quick steps and walked up to his side, creating another path through the snow. He opened his mouth to question Neville about the voice but remembered what Ron had said in theirsecond year. Even in the world of magic there was a bad sign to hear voices

"We'll be there soon" Neville said. They had reached the greenhouse and the boy now lead them around the corner and through some trees behind it.

"Aren't we going to the forbidden forest?" Harry asked with a frown at the sight of even more trees ahead of them, this time they were closer together and you couldn't see what was behind them. To be honest he really wasn't in the mood to run into some dangerous creature right now.

"No, not many people notice it but this part of the forest isn't a part of the dark side with all the wild animals, I think that there's a long lake in the middle of them, the forbidden forest is on one side - the other side." Neville said distantly and pushed away a branch from his face while walking through the trees. Harry shrugged and followed after taking one last suspicious look behind himself.

Like Neville had said; this forest didn't seem as evil as the forbidden one did, it was more welcoming. The few times Harry had been in the forbidden forest, a feeling of dread had crept up upon him but not now, it was still open enough to let the sun shine through the branches and light it all up, when you got deep into the forbidden forest, it was always dark and you couldn't even make out of it was night or day. Neville and Harry walked for about another five minutes until they saw that the trees parted and the raven haired boy thought that he could hear the sound of running water.

"There" Neville muttered and walked into the glade. Harry wondered for a second why the other boy had been out here walking in the first place when he discovered his little special spot but his thoughts were interrupted as his names was being called. He quickened his pace and walked after Neville, honestly surprised at the sight that met him.

Harry could suddenly understand what Neville had been talking about; this place was great. It was a not too big glade surrounded by green blossoming trees, you couldn't see anything else but forest if you looked around but the light found it's way through the top of the trees and light it up nicely. The ground was covered in soft, glittering snow just like everywhere else. There was a pond with a small waterfall, it was like the water just came out of a stone at the size of a house elf. In the middle of the glade there was a small hill and Harry guessed that it wasn't just the snow that hade been scooped up into a neat pile but the ground was shaped like that.

The most beautiful thing about it all according to Harry was the tree standing on the hill, it was white as driven snow and was rather short compaired to the other trees surrounding the glade. The treetop was big and magnificent, the perfect leaves wasn't green or any color you would have thought but a light pink shade. Harry stared at it in awe, it was simply beautiful.

"This is so cool Neville" He muttered, not taking his eyes off of the pink leaves. The ground below seemed like it hadn't been touched, it was completely clean and not a single leaf had fallen to the ground. Except from the tree and the pond there was a few rocks, some small and some bigger, not so far from it all, but not close enough not to ruin the picture of the tree.

Harry gazed around and his eyes fell on the pond, for the first time he noticed that the water was black. He frowned and stared at it for a second.

"It's always been black" Neville said from behind him as he saw that Harry had been staring. "It might come from that lake I was talking about earlier, the one between this part of the forest and the forbidden one. Just don't touch it, one cannot be too careful you never know what the water might have brought here." Harry nodded, he certainly had no intention at all to touch that water.

"_Stupid children_" the same soft, whispering voice said all of a sudden, sounding closer than ever. Was it Harry or did it sound like it was coming from the ground? He looked at Neville to see how the other boy was reacting, but he acted like he hadn't noticed a thing and was simply staring at the pond.

"What is it?" He asked when he looked up and noticed the confused look in his friend's eyes. "Is something wrong?" Harry quickly looked down at his feet and the snow he was standing on. Nothing there. Or wait, it looked like the snow was moving or something. Harry frowned at poked his shoe at the soft, moving snow. He jerked back in surprise as something long launched after his foot.

A low hissing sound was heard and Harry rolled his eyes at how thick he could be sometimes. Lying in the snow was a pure with snake, formed like an 'S' ready to attack at any danger threatening again. It was about ten inches and had beautiful, big, silver eyes. Neville noticed it too and took a few steps back, not wanting to anger it further.

"Don't attack us, er.. We come in peace" Harry hissed in the snakes own language, realizing how stupid those words sounded. The snake raised his head and looked up at him but kept that defensive posture.

"You speak our language, young child" it hissed back with the same soft and whispering tone as Harry as thought of it before, now the only thing he would have described it as was simply a hissing with long S'.

"What does it say?" Neville asked worriedly, shooting the snake cautious glances.

"It's okay" Harry looked up and said simply so that it would come out in their normal language, before staring back into the snake's silver eyes.

"Yes, I speak you language, snake." He hissed. "What are you doing here? What is your name?" Okay, so they could run into a snake on a lot of places, but that snake had been following them for over five minutes, the first time Harry had heard it was all the way back by the greenhouse.

"I call myself Icicle" The snake said, slithering around Harry's feet. "That stupid child over there almost stomped all over me, I followed your scent back here. Who are you, speaker?" The raven haired boy noticed that you could never hear what mood a snake was on, they always sounded like they were talking in a hushed, almost mysterious tone.

"Er.. I'm Harry and that's Neville" Hesaid in parseltongue and nodded his head at the other boy. He was to be honest feeling a little uncomfortable with a snake crawling around his feet."You never told me why you are here. Why did you follow us?"

"For warmth." Icicle hissed back simply. "You are radiating of heat, I could feel it in the ground you were walking on." Harry bent down and reached out for the snake carefully, ready to pull back at any second. To his amazement the snake flickered it's red tongue twice in the air and then as Harry's hand touched the soft, white skin it placed it's head in his palm. He smiled down at it, the snake was really beautiful.

"You think we can take it back to the castle?" Harry asked Neville, the snake _did_ need the warmth. Neville's eyes widened.

"A snake in the castle?" He exclaimed and then lowered his voice. "Harry, I don't know.. What would everyone say if you brought a wild snake back to the gryffindor common room?" The snake crawled up on the raven haired boy's hand and continued up under his robes and shirt. Harry could feel it tangle itself around his arms under his clothes. He stood up.

"No one needs to know." He said and grinned, now turning to the snake somewhere around his elbow. "You want to follow up back to the castle? If you do you have to promise not to bite anyone" A low hissing was heard from underneath Harry's clothes.

"Is there food?" Icicle questioned. Harry snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes." He muttered to himself and hissed back to the snake. "You're a girl, right?" He had got the feeling that is was a girl but he wasn't sure. He felt the snake moving down his arm until he saw the head appear from the sleeve, it turned to face him and nodded 'yes'. Then it sank back and rested around Harry's lower arm with his head peeking out of the shirt.

"I'll bring her back to the castle" Harry explained to Neville who was still looking a little shaken. "Please don't tell anyone, she won't harm anyone." The other boy nodded.

"So.. this place was really neat" Harry said, breaking the slightly awkward silence. "How did you find it in the first place?"

"It was in our fifth year, I was out trying to find a plant I had seen in a book, you know, to study it better and it said that it could be found in most magical forests if you just looked carefully, I heard the waterfall after a while and followed the sound here." Neville explained. "I just sat on the grass and studied for hours, you should see this place blossoming during spring."

Harry smiled. This place seemed very important to Neville and apparantly he hadn't shown it to anyone else, it made him happy that Neville could share this private space with him.

"I don't know what makes this place so special" The brown eyed boy continued. "Maybe it's the tree that makes it so peaceful." He looked over at it with a warm look in his eyes and Harry honestly didn't know if he should say anything during his little moment. He didn't have to decide since Neville spoke up again as if broken out of his trance.

"Maybe we should go back now, we've been here for awhile, people will probably wonder were you are." He said. The only thing Harry registered from that was "go back" so he nodded and they made their way up to the castle with a white snake curled around one of the boys' arm.

* * *

Harry was currently sitting in one of the more privatesections of the library. Icicle, the pure white snake with big, shining, silver eyes was curled up and sleeping on one of the books lying on the table. The raven haired boy had decided to practise some wandless magic since he had nothing better to do and had said good bye to Neville by the portrait hole. The snake had fallen asleep on the way back to the castle and had not woken up since. 

Harry had his feet resting on the table and sunk back against the chair with another book resting on his stomach as he read in silence.

_"-- Wandless magic is not to be taken lightly, it's a use of pure magic that you have to control without a wand which only a few of the most powerful witches and wizards can. To peform this typ of magic takes a lot of concentration and energy from the caster and it's adviced not to try it if one is feeling too tired or sick. It's important to begin with easy things for your first time  
to get the feeling of what it's like to use wandless magic, once you begin to master a simple spell you can try something a bit harder. _

_While still in the basic training do not try it too often, it might result in damaging your own magic. If you're feeling drained stop there and don't push it otherwise it's a small chance that you could do some serious damage, in some cases even lose a great deal of magic."_

Harry frowned, he _really_ didn't want to lose his magic, so he thought it would be best to listen to the book. Other than that it almost didn't say anything he hadn't heard from Tom Nuit already.

He felt ready to try some more wandless magic now. But what was he supposed to use, It's not like he walked around with feathers in his pocke-- oh, right his quill. Damn he didn't bring his bag. He stood up and walked around a few shelves until he saw a few younger hufflepuff students sitting at a table all studying in silence. Feeling slightly awkward he cleared his throat and a few of them looked up at him.

"Does anyone of you have an extra quill I could borrow?" He asked quietly not wanting to wake madame Pince's wrath. A blonde girl with her hair in a ponytail handed over a dark brown feather quill with black spots on.

"Thanks" Harry said with a smile and the girl blushed a deep shade of crimson.

"Y-you're welcome" She stuttered back and smiled shyly. Harry then turned around and went back to his table. He was used to some younger girls reacted like that towards him, he was still known as the brave boy who stopped Voldemort several times. They were still in that age when they blushed at everything. Ginny had definately matured since her crush on Harry, he didn't know how she felt now about him but she didn't get shy around him like she had in his second year.

He sat back on his chair and placed the quill on the table, making sure that it was a bit of space between it and his outstretched hand. He relaxed in both of his shoulders and let his arms hang on his side, he was going to try to concentrate on the feather first. He wanted it, he needed it, if he didn't get it.. He'd die, yes and all of his friends would suffer a horrible--

"Are you gonna stare at that quill forever?" A voice drawled from behind him. "Cause staring at it won't do any good" Harry could have sworn that he jumped several feet before he snapped around his head quickly.

"What are you d-doing here?" He asked the blond slytherin leaning against a shelf. A heavy yet warm feeling was appearing in the pit of his stomach and he cursed himself for stumbling over his words. He blushed an almost not noticable shade of pink in embarrasment. Draco held up a book with a brown cover.

"That's what the library is for after all" He said, sounding like he'd rather be anywhere but there at the moment. Harry nodded and felt the blush heat up; He was such an idiot! "Hey, what's that?"Draco pointed at the snake, the nervousness disappearing at once.

"Oh.." Harry muttered and ruffled the hair in the back of his head. "It's my snake, her name is Icicle, she's just sleeping." The snake was still curled up on a book with her head resting on her own white body, her eyes closed.

"Pretty cool" The slytherin said in awe and took a step closer and then another. "Can I touch her?" He asked and looked at Harry, who nodded. He reached out one of his pale hands, letting the book rest pressed between his other arm and side. He carefully let a finger trail the smooth, white skin of the snake and it lingered on Icicle's beautiful head. The touch was feather light, almost like he wasn't doing anything at all and the snake of course didn't wake up, Harry was surprised of how gentle Draco was being.

"I wish I could talk to snakes" The latter one muttered and followed the snakes form with his hand slowly. A girlish high-pitched laughter errupted through the library causing the snake to jerk out of her sleep. Draco pulled back quickly and stared at it.

"Don't worry, she won't bite anyone" Harry explained, feeling a little less nervous as well now when they had something to talk about. He placed his hand flat on the table in front of Icicle who flickered her tongue in the air and sleepily curled up onto the back of his hand, up over the clothed arm and tangled her small body around it.

"Say something." Draco said eagerly. At Harry's confused he added. "To the snake. Say something to the snake." The raven haired boy cursed himself mentally, of course he had meant that. Looking over at the snake, he had to really make sure that they made eye contact, it didn't take so much for him to speak parseltongue if he was talking to the snake but he didn't want it to come out in english, that would be even more embarrassing.

"Had a nice nap, Icicle?" He asked and shoot the slytherin a quick glance, his eyes were wide for a second and he smirked. Icicle lifted her head higher up in the air with her lower body still wrapped around Harry's arm, she stopped when their eyes were on the same level.

"Yes, until it was interrupted." The snake hissed back and flickered her tongue again, it was almost touching Harry's nose.

"That's so cool" The slytherin whispered in awe. Harry blushed and nodded, he didn't care if people thought that he was evil because he could talk to snake, he loved his special gift. He was soon starting to feel uncomfortable around the slytherin and looked up at him quickly, he could tell at once that Draco felt the same way.

Maybe it had all been a mistake, those kisses. They didn't seem to have anything in common so far and you couldn't build a relationship on a few kisses, not Harry anyway. He wasn't looking for a relationship based on sex or lust, he wanted to experience real love. He wanted hugs, long talks and someone he could trust and he wasn't sure that Draco could give him that. He wasn't even sure how the slytherin felt, probably nothing so why was his still pondering about this?

"So what are you studying?" The slytherin asked, bringing Harry out of his thoughts. The raven haired boy was surprised that he was still there and actually trying to have a conversation with him.

"Er.. just some extra learning for fun." He replied. Draco lifted the book Icicle had been sleeping on and held it up in front of his face.

" _'Throw that wand away - A guide to wandless magic'_ " He read out loud. "By.. Gildenroy Lockhart.. Didn't know he could do wandless magic" He snorted and put it down.

"He can't." Harry stated simply. "That book is full of pointless words, I need to start checking who is the author of the book before I read it." Draco let out a soft laugh, throwing Harry completely off guard but certainly light up the awkward mood.

"So why are you reading about it? Can you do wandless magic?" Draco asked. "Was that what you were doing before I showed up?"

"Er.. Yeah, just some light practise and no, I can't do it just yet, but I might get the hang of it soon." Harry muttered.

"Let's see then" Draco said and smirked. Harry snorted and shook his head, muttering 'no'. The slytherin rolled his eyes and said under his breath 'wuss'. Harry sighed and simply ignored him.

That uncomfortable silence was building up once again and Harry honestly didn't know what to do to make it go away, should he ask about the kisses? maybe Draco would laugh and tell him that it didn't mean anything. That would certainly make Harry feel like an idiot.

"You really are a traitor" A low hissing voice was heard and no it wasn't from the snake. Draco snapped his head around, God why did everyone insist on making his life a living hell? Standing beside one of the bookshelves was Ethan with an angry look on his face, it was something about his defensive posture that made him look like a cat.

"Piss off, Ethan. What do you want? Looking for some dramatic excitment?" Draco spat back and glared. Harry looked between the two, he hadn't really seen Ethan around before that night he, Damon and Jason had jumped him in the hallway. He could tell though, that Ethan and Draco were not good friends. Completely ignoring Draco's last sentence Ethan growled deep in his throat;

"I thought that you would respect the name of slytherin, disgrace, that's what you are." In a second Draco was up on his feet and standing in front of the other boy. Harry noticed that the blonde boy was about two inches taller than the dark haired one. The anger disappeared from those brown eyes for a second and were replaced with slight shock, fright and mostly disgust, but only for a second before they were clouded by the same glint of madness.

Two strong arms pushed him back against the bookshelf succesfully pinning him, causing a few of the books fall down to the ground with small thudds.

"I'm really sick of you idiots, trying to mess me up. Back the fuck off."The blonde slytherin hissed dangerously in Ethan's face and let go off his dark robes. Ethan snorted in digust and pushed away Draco before stalking off.

The silver eyed boy turned back to Harry and muttered 'asshole'. He didn't know if he should sit back down or leave, would it just be awkward again? Maybe Harry wanted him to piss off, it would be a kick on his pride if Harry Potter told him to bugger off. He found himself sitting back on the chair before he even got the chance to react to himself.

Harry was staring at him funnily and quickly looked away when he saw that Draco had noticed him staring.

"What?" The slytherin asked smirking, noticing the small blush covering those usually pale cheeks. Harry looked up with his brilliant green eyes and his pink bottom lip trembled slightly like he wanted to say something but stopped himself. Draco smiled and looked at those pink soft lips, Harry's tongue darted over his underlip nervously, catching the other boy's attention. The slytherin leaned towards the smaller boy, planning on catching those lips in yet another wonderful kiss when Harry pulled backwards before their lips met.

"W-what are you doing?" He asked, his voice slightly shaking from the surprise. It was a nice surprise to say but Harry didn't want a 'kissing thing' with an enemy.

"Kissing you." Draco said and tried to lean in again, but Harry held up his hands in front of him, feeling a little crowded. He pushed back his chair to get some distance and looked up at the other boy.

"Why?" He asked again suspiciously.

"Because I think you are cute." Draco said, smirking. "It was nice to kiss you." Harry blushed. _It was nice to kiss you too _he thought.

"What is this anyway?" He questioned, remembering asking that question before but not reciving an answer. He stared into the slytherins silver eyes and his ears burned, was he still blushing? _Why _was he blushing? Okay, Harry had to admit that Draco was very attractive, how come he hadn't thought about how gorgeous he was before? Maybe he just really changed over the summer. _Or maybe I did. _

"What do you want it to be?" Draco twisted the question to Harry's great annoyance, he wanted an answer, he wanted to know how Draco felt about everything, he wanted to know what _Draco _wanted.

"I don't want to walk around and hate a person and then kiss him." Harry muttered.

"Do you hate me?" Draco asked, but he understood; Harry didn't want one of those love/hate relationships between two enemies, he just wanted someone to be with.

"No, I don't" Harry answered simply. _I don't hate anyone _he added mentally. Okay, maybe Voldemort and Wormtail but they were the reasons that his parents are dead and that's unforgiveable. He didn't understand how a person with a soul could take a human life, he never would.

"Do you like me then?" Draco continued completely taking Harry off guard. The raven haired boy thought about it; he had dreamt about the blonde boy, he enjoyed their kisses, but that didn't mean that he liked the slytherin, that meant that he liked what they 'had' but he also found himself appreciating how incredible Draco looked, how nice he smelled and how soft his skin was.

"I don't know." He answered truthfully, it was just too confusing to think about it. "I might" Draco lifted a hand and cupped the boy's chin, pulling it up carefully. For the third time that day he moved his head closer to Harry's and this time there was no pulling back. Their lips met once again in a soft peck of the lips.

Draco ran his tongue over Harry's bottom lip and bit down slightly, nibbling on it softly. Harry moaned in surprise and opened his mouth, pushing out his tongue to meet Draco's. The friction was incredible just like before, they seemed to just melt together. Draco's tongue roamed inside of Harry's mouth who was tracing his tongue under Draco's. The younger one's hands grabbed the slytherin around the neck and pulled him closer, moaning at the taste. Draco smiled, knowing that he was the one who were the cause of those sounds. When the need for air was getting urgent they pulled back with red swollen lips, flushed cheeks and puffing breaths.

"That's good." Draco said with a smirk and caressed Harry's cheek with his thumb. "Cause I think I _might _like you too" The raven haired boy didn't know if he was going to melt into a puddle or get angry. How could Draco just asume that he liked him? You just didn't start liking you enemy over a night, not if it was real. Looking into those gray eyes and feeling the heat of Draco's skin against his cheek made it impossible for the boy to get angry so he tilted his head without realizing it, leaning into the touch.

* * *

Harry returned to the gryffindor tower only minutes later, with the snow white snake curled around his arms, hidden under his robes. He didn't know what to think about his 'thing' with Draco Malfoy and was in a state in which he didn't seem to be able to think at all. 

He spoke the password to the fat lady when he got to the portrait hole and walked in through it. A shriek met him before it could even close behind him again and the breath was knocked out of him when a girl about an inch taller than him pulled him into a tight hug. All he could see was black, cause his face was pressed so close against a soft material and a weak smell of strawberry filled his nostrils. Harry sighed, breathing in the smell and pushed away.

Hermione pulled back too, looking cautious and worried.

"I didn't hurt your chest did I?" She asked, her voice shaking slightly. Harry shook his head 'no' and the girl's look changed completly to anger. He could almost have sworn she would have slapped him if he hadn't been abused by his so called family.. Did her hand just jerk?

"Where the hell have you been?" She hissed in an alarming calm tone. Harry gulped; he was in for it now. But what right had she to be angry anyway? He was mature enough to do whatever he wanted to do.

"Out." He shrugged, feeling not so mature anmore.

"Why didn't you tell me or Ron?"Hermione continued in the same voice, her face was tinged pink and she had a hint of a glare in her brown eyes.

"I don't have to tell you everything I do, 'Mione." Harry snapped, crossing his arms over his chest like a stubborn kid. "You're not my mother"

"I know I'm not your mother" The girl growled, her eyes digging into his. "But I'm your friend and.." Her voice softened. "I was worried. " That calmed Harry down at once, maybe his friends weren't completely over him, he found himself smiling sadly.

"I'm sorry" he muttered. "I shouldn't have wandered off like that, I was just walking around trying to clear my mind." Even if he stood by his oppinion that he didn't have to tell her wherever he went, he still understood that he should have told someone instead of just disappering like that.

"It's okay." Hermione muttered, hiding a smile but you could clearly see the tug on her lips. "Just don't do it again." Harry rolled his eyes and snorted.

"Whatever. "Where's Ron?" He asked looking around in the common room, no where between all the gryffindors could he see his redheaded friend.

"He's up in the dorm" Hermione explained. "Doing his homework, he couldn't concentrate here so I told him to study up there instead." Harry snorted, he could really imaginge Hermione _forcing _Ron to go up and study. He slumped down on a couch and leaned back against the soft fabric, feeling another weight next to him. However this year would turn out, it sure would be interesting.


	23. First Date?

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: I haven't gotten my computer back _yet_ so it takes me awhile to write. sorry. It's summer and no school, but I've been busy doing other stuff than writing ff as a replacement for homework.

Warnings: Angst, **slash :) Fluff warning on this chapter. **and so on.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and neither do you, so hah! Unless JKR is reading this.. :I xD

* * *

Chapter Twentythree: First date? 

Sunday morning, Harry woke up with a heavy feeling, classes would start again tomorrow. Sundays were always so depressing, it must have been his least favorite day of the week. Fridays were also a bitch, because they gone through four days of classes and everyone was tired, then the peaceful saturday came. You could relax, unless you had a mountain of homeworks to do, in which case it wasn't that great after all. But sundays, the knowing that the stress would hit you tomorrow was the worst feeling you could imagine, no one could enjoy a free day knowing how busy you'd be the next day.

The school had only been going on for a few weeks but Ron had already a pile of homeworks to do, Harry had realized how much easier it was to finish it all during class so he didn't have to work on it later and build up on his other homeworks, something that Hermione was very proud of.

He walked down to the common room with his clothes completly ruffled and his hair in a great mess, sticking out everywhere. Under his eyes those purple shadows were still covering his white skin, but there was still something different about him. He did not smile, in fact his face was completely relaxed. The sight that met his two best friend made the girl who noticed him first smile.

"What?" Harry asked and sat down on the couch, muffling a yawn on his sleeve.

"Nothing" Hermione answered, shrugging. "It's just your eyes, they're glowing" Ron looked up for the first time in shock, glowing? Had the twins maybe sent some sort of weird candy to play a prank on Harry and made his eyes glow? No, he didn't see any difference, his best friend looked like he had just the day before, and the day before that and so on. He shrugged and looked out the window to see snow falling down onto the grounds. Hermione shook her head noticing Ron's confused look, guys really didn't notice the little things.

"What are you going to do today?" She continued turned to Harry, who knew that she would want to make sure where he was going to be all they so that yesterdays events wouldn't happen again.

"I don't know" He muttered, his eyes dropping slightly but fluttering open again. "I'm done with my homeworks so I guess I'll just rest today." Hermione frowned.

"Rest? Are you feeling ill? depressed? Are you having trouble sleeping?" She asked worriedly. Harry shook his head, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"No, just resting up for next week." He said calmly and saw Hermione's sceptical look. "So.. er, I can concentrate on my schoolwork." He almost laughed when her look changed to an understanding sort of way and nodded.

"Maybe we could go to the pitch, Har--" Ron started but stopped when Hermione nudged him in the arm, her jaw clenched together slightly and speaking through her teeth.

"No" She said sharply. "Ron here has to do his homeworks or he'll end up living on the street cause no one is going to want to hire someone who failed charms later in life." Harry snorted, he was sure that Ron hadn't thought about life after hogwarts one time during his hole life.

"Don't worry Hermione" Ron said waving a hand in the air as if pushing her worries away. "My dad can fix me up with a job at the ministry after hogwarts." The brown haired girl's face turned pink.

"Ronald, you can't always live depending on other people to do your work for you. Take responsibility for yourself" She hissed dangerously with a growling undetone. The redhead looked at her with wide eyes and Harry was also shocked.

"It's just an essay." Ron muttered hesitantly as if not believing in his own words.

"It's not _just _an essay! It could be the difference between an 'A' and a 'P'. I'm sick of looking after you like your second mother, why don't you just grow up like Harry" Hermione said her voice growing with every sentence. Harry's eyes widened at his name, why did people always drag him into everything? He was beginning to feel stressed at hearing Hermione almost shouting and seeing the small glares Ron sent him.

"I'm gonna head off to breakfast" He mumbled and stood up. Before Hermione or Ron could say anything he walked across the room and out the portrait hole, hearing all the commotion stop as it swung close behind him. He breathed out a sigh of relief although he was feeling rather stressed out still, he needed to be somewhere he could clear his mind. He wasn't even hungry and it was always alot of noise in the great hall so he wasn't even considering going there.

He turned around a corner, and continued up some stairs, through a big door, a long corridor and rounded another corner. He simply let his feet lead the way and didn't think about where he was going. He heard some footsteps behind him, started and spun around quickly.

"Aren't you just a little jumpy." Draco Malfoy stated and smirked in a way that looked more playful than mocking.

"You just startled me a bit" Harry said, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest. "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that."

"Well, I didn't want to make a big scene in the middle of the hallway, it would look suspicious if I just walked up to you in front of everyone, trying to have a normal conversation wouldn't it?" The slytherin pointed out taking a step closer to Harry.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Harry muttered, sighing. "So was it something that you wanted?" Draco shrugged. "I mean if you followed me here, it must have been something."

"Not really, I simply felt bored and breakfast didn't seam quite as appealing, you apparently feel the same way so I was just curious of what you were doing." He answered. A strand of blonde hair fell into his gray, almost silver eyes and he carelessly but gracefully shook it out of his sight. "So what _are _you doing?" Harry fiddled at his right sleeves, tugging at the ends ofit while biting his lip. Why did he look so nervous all the time?

"Nothing, I just wanted to go somewhere I could some peace and quiet." He replied with a shrug. "The common room is pretty noisy" Draco snorted.

"If you wanted a more quiet common room, you should have become a slytherin." He said and rolled his eyes. "We're more discreet. Although it can be quite annoying with two idiots asking stupid questions all the time"

"So that's why you don't hang around with Crabbe and Goyle anymore?" Harry asked, who had been starting to notice how he never saw Draco with them, he almost never saw them around at all in fact.

"Who said I was talking about them?" Draco inquired, leaning against the hard wall and putting his hands into his pockets.

"It was pretty obvious" Harry stated and smiled at him with an amused twinkle in his eyes. The slytherin snorted and shook his head, causing a few strands of hair to fall down and join the other ones framing his face.

"I guess it was." He said, smirking. There was a short pause in which none of them knew what to say, although it wasn't as awkward as it had been before. "So you want to get out of here?" Draco asked after a few seconds, deciding that anything was better than silence.

"Where?" Harry asked with a frown.

"We could sneak off to hogsmeade" Draco said, shrugging. "I mean it's not like Filch is standing by the gate, demanding that we show him a bloody note every day." Harry snorted, it was true, going to hogsmeade without permission was definately easier when it wasn't a hogsmead weekend.

"Sure, sounds fun" He replied and smiled. Draco smirked and pushed away from the wall. "Wait.. I have to get something first." Harry stopped and said. "Meet me outside the school?" The blond boy nodded and strolled off gracefully with a pair of emerald eyes staring after him. Harry saw how the slytherins dark robes fluttered behind him a little with every step, almost like Snape but not as much. He could see Draco's fancy black shoes step onto the hard ground and heard how the sound of them grew fainter by the second.

Once he turned arond a corner Harry pulled away his gaze and went the other direction. He felt like an idiot, he really didn't have to get anything, he just didn't want anyone to see him hanging out with Draco. How would Ron react if he found out for example? He would think that Harry betrayed them all, that he had switched to the dark side of something.

The gryffindor sighed, put his hands in his pockets and kicked away an old potions ingredient someone had dropped on the floor. He decided that he could just wait a minute or two and then go after Draco. Two ravenclaw boys walked by, one with black hair and blue eyes and one with dark brown hair and chesnut brown eyes.

Harry couldn't help but think _'They would have seen_ _us together'_ If only one person saw them, everyone in the school could know it the next morning and Harry really didn't want everyone to think that he was turning evil simply because he was hanging out with a slytherin, the second year had definately taught him a lesson that people could easily abandon you.

After about five minutes Harry decided that it would be okay to go after Draco, he didn't know if the blonde boy cared if people saw them walking around together. Harry walked the same way and after a few minutes stepped out of the castle.

The snow lay over the grounds like a big white cover, but you could still see some straws of grass sticking through the surface of it. The sun was hidden behind big white and gray clouds on the sky, small shades of sunlight would barely pass through it and fall onto the snow, making parts of it glitter in a white and silverisch color.

Harry could see Draco leaning backwards against the castle with his back against the hard stone. He couldn't help but notice how absolutely careless and cool he looked like that. He walked over to him and saw the other boy turn his head to look at him as he got closer, _he must have heard my footsteps in the snow_, Harry thought and stopped in front of Draco.

"Hey" he said simply, trying to sound cool. Draco straightened up and smiled at him, showing off a line of crystal white teeth.

"Hey" he replied. "Ready to go then?" _where? _was the first thing to cross Harry's mind and then he remembered: hogsmeade. With relief that he hadn't actually opened his mouth and said what has appeared in his mind he nodded.

With surprise of how easy it felt being around each other the two of them walked through the snow towards the small village, talking about quidditch and.. well mostly quidditch cause that's basically the only thing they knew they had in common.

"Hah! Weasley actually thinks that the Chudley cannons has a chance in the tournament? They suck." Draco laughed and shook his head. "They haven't won since 1892 and their seeker Galvin Gudgeon isn't exactly sent from above." He stopped himself and shot Harry a funny look. "You're not a fan of them are you?" Harry snorted.

"No, not really. I like Pride of Portree better, I'm a big fan of their captain and how she keeps leading their team to victory." He said and smiled, he wasn't totally lost when it came to the world of magics culture.

"Oh yeah." Draco muttered. "Isn't her son the lead singer of weird sisters? Kirley or what's his name." Harry nodded. "Yeah, they are pretty good, but no one can beat the Puddlemere United--here we are"

Since it wasn't an official hogsmeade weekend there wasn't any carriges to take them to the village and the two of them had walked for about twenty minutes, now they had arrived but instead of the usual place were the carriges dropped off the students they had gotten between two buildings and a small alley leading to the main street.

The house roofs were covered in snow and so were the ground, the sun was shining over the small stores and through the windows. Unlike over hogwarts, the sky was clear in a light blue tone. Harry smiled, the air felt fresh and clean.

He took a deep breath and felt the cool wind go through his mouth and nose, down to his lungs, looking around at all the buildings with pretty decorations and colorful display windows he couldn't help but think how it all looked like something taken out of a christmas carol.

"So what you wanna do now?" Draco asked nudging him in the shoulder. Shocked that the slytherin would ask him where he wanted to go, Harry shrugged.

"I don't know." He muttered and looked down on his right foot, which he started to drag across the ground. "You decide." Draco looked like he was thinking for about a second.

"Well, there is this store where they sell old foreign magical objects." He said. "Sometimes they have really neat stuff there." He looked at Harry for some kind of approval.

"Sounds good" The gryffindor said and let Draco lead the way since he had no idea of where it was.

It turned out to be not so far from there, they just followed the main street and stopped by a small building with musty windows and a ragged looking door. Keeping away the sun from peeking through was a pair of dark purple curtains covering the windows.

"Erm, are you sure that this is a good idea?" Harry asked with a frown, the look the house gave away was not welcoming a bit. "Maybe it's closed or something." Draco reached forwards and turned the rusty knob.

"You mean the curtains?" He asked and pulled at the door, a small creak was heard as it opened. "The owner is just trying to keep away curious children, you can't blame the old man can you? I mean it's very valuable things he's got in there and I wouldn't want small kids running in and out, breaking things lik a pack of crazy owls." He turned around and walked through the door with Harry close behind.

Once they got in, it didn't look that Harry had imagined it would. He had in his mind a clear picture of a small room with a dusty floor, four crowding walls where small pieces of tapestry had been torn from it's place and a low celing, all in all a very small dark room.

Instead there was an open room with a wooden floor and strong walls. In the celing there was a round circle of what looked like black glass with two light sources moving around behind it. The dark veil of glass seemed to be dimming down the too bright light.

The room was basically decorated in big dark shelves formed to make small aisles. The door shut behind Harry and he heard a bell ring above his head.

A short, chubby man perked up from behind the counter in the other end of the room. He had light gray thin hair, combed over his bald head and short curly beard. He had a pair of dark brown glasses over his eyes that had a lighter shade to them.

"Can I help you?" He asked the two boys, squinting his eyes and furrowing his thick white eyebrows.

"No, we're just gonna look around" Draco said in a respective tone with his back straight and head held up high. The short man nodded, gave away a small grunt and disappeared behind the counter once again.

Harry sawDraco move to a close shelf and started to look around on all the objects. He decided that it would be just stupid to stand in the doorway so he did the same.

There were so many strange things he had no idea of what they were used for. He saw a black cube that seemed to be shining in a dark purple light, the power was surging through it and lay like a dark aura around it. He stretched out hesitantly but stopped in mid air.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea touching it, I mean who knew where these things came from or what they could have been cursed with. It could have been something the owner just bought from a mysterious foreign witch in knockturn alley for a cheap price.

Deciding that he wasn't willing to sacrifice his body and soul for his curiousity, Harry let his hand fall to his side and thought that I'd be better to just use his eyes instead.

"Excuse me sir" He heard Draco's voice and turned around. The slytherin was holding a small light blue pendant with a long silver chain in his hand. "What does this do?" The short man looked up and squinted his eyes at the object, he gestured with a finger for Draco to come closer.

The boy lay the small piece of jewlery on the counter and let the man pick it up. His chubby pale fingers trailed across the blue stone and he let out a snort of air.

"Imported straight from egypt" He said in a raspy voice. "Threethousand years old, it is said to bring strength and courage to the person wearing it, very good stuff"

"How much for it?" Draco asked. The owner pushed up his glasses as they had started to slide down his round noseand sighed.

"207 galleons" He answered at once ignoring the boy's frown.

"207 galleons?" He questioned with a sceptical look. "I'll give you 150, it's just a piece of jewlery" The owner scoffed and shook his head, looking offended.

"I'll give it to you for 200 galleons, but nothing less. This is a one of a kind pendant" He said with a patronizing smile. Draco rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Sure whatever" He said muttered and tapped his fingers against the counter. The man nodded opened a little drawer behind the counter. He picked up a small piece of parchment but stopped himself and looked up at Draco.

"I guess you don't carry around this money." He said with the same patronizing smile. Draco clenched his teeth together and curled his pale fingers around the edge of the counter.

"No, I do not walk around with it in my pockets" He spat and forced a smile that came out as a grimace instead. The short man nodded and put down the parchment on the counter.

"Name?" He asked grabbing a quill from the same drawer and shut it loudly.

"Draco Malfoy" The boy said with pride and a superior smirk. The owned snorted in a mocking way but wrote it down on the parchment.

"Vault?" He moved the quill down on the parchment which was a form with blanks for him to fill in.

"214" The man wrote it down too and something under it.

"Sign here please" He said and pushed the parchment and quill to Draco who grabbed the latter thing. He made a disgusted face at the messy writing the man had done and wrote his name quickly beneath the address and name of the store.

It was snatched out of his hand right the second after he put down the quill and he glared at the man who was staring at his signature as if expecting it to disappear from the parchment. When it didn't, he nodded to himself and whistled loudly.

Draco groaned in annoyance, Harry started and a brown owl with gray spots came flying to the man from an open cage close to the latter boy who hadn't noticed it untill now and flinched as the creature flew him by.

The note was sealed shut and tied to the owls leg.

"Gringotts" The man said to it with a raspy tone and watched it fly towards the door. "Boy" He barked to Harry who flinched again and stared at him with wide eyes. "open the door so it can fly out" He did as he was told and the owl disappeared out of sight.

"You want me to wrap it in for you?" The owner asked Draco and put the pendant in a small red box.

"Just put it in a bag" The boy replied and watched the short man pull out a brown paper bag. He threw in the red box and handed over the bag to Draco.

"Thank you" He said politely and turned around. "Hey have you found anything?" he asked walking over to Harry who shook his head.

Something caught his emerald eyes. He walked over to the counter and looked behind it. There was something big sqaure with a long black sheet hanging over it, but there was a small light purple sparkle behind it. It had only appeared for about a second and then it had disappeared but Harry was sure that he had seen it.

"What is that?" He asked the owner poking at the sheet. The older man turned around, grunting as he did so.

"That?" He inquired nodding his head in the same direction. Harry nodded and saw a light blue sparkle shine behind it for just a second.

The owner grabbed the sheet between his chubby fingers and pulled it off. Under it there was a big cage with small shining balls flying around in different colors, red, blue, orange, purple, yellow, pink, green and black.

"What is that?" Harry repeated with a frown, this time it was Draco who answered his question.

"It's fairies." He explained and stared at them in awe. "They are very rare" The owner nodded and opened a small door to the cage. Harry watched him stick in his hand and grab after one of the bright balls.

After a few second his chubby hand closed around a blue light and he brought it out of the cage, closing it quickly afterwards. The blue light was shining between his fingers.

With his other hand he pulled out a drawer and picked up a short, brown wand. He closed the drawer with his hip and pointed the wand at the air over the counter.

He swished it in the air and muttered a few words. Something that looked like frozen water appeared from the tip of the old wand and stopped in mid air, slowly it started to take shape and after a few seconds there was a see through bubble in the air the size of a quaffle.

Harry stared in wonder as the manput in his hand in the bubble and opened the palm so that the light could fly out, then he pulled back from it. He saw the light trying to do the same, but it was stopped by the see through walls.

Again and again it flew into them but was pushed back into the middle of the small prison.

"Look closer" The man muttered. Harry looked at him hesitantly before moving his head closer to the bubble. The closer he got the more he could make out from the little shape, he stopped a few inches away and stared at it.

It was like a normal woman in a miniture size. This one had white skinn, big blue twinkeling eyes and long blue hair that fell to her waist in small curls. She had a small pointy nose and plump pink lips. The only thing she was wearing was a short blue dress that covered her slender legs to the knees.

On the back she had a pair of big beautiful wings with small patterns covering them. She crossed her arms over her over her chest and pouted at the wall that kept her from going anywhere. Harry couldn't help but smile at the sight, she was simply adorable.

"Isn't she a beauty?" The older man inquired and smiled, showing of crocked teeth. Draco stepped closer to look at it, bending down to look over Harry's shoulder as he did so. He had of course seen fairies before and he couldn't deny that they were beautiful creatures.

Harry heard two small footsteps against the floor behind him and felt the prescence of another body close to his. He ignored the feeling of closure and stared at the small fairy. He noticed that the light that he had seen lay like a blue aura around the little creature.

Suddenly he seemed so aware of everything around. A small shuffle of clothes was heard behind him, so quiet but it seemed to echo through his mind. A shadow towered over him and Harry let his eyes flicker to the right for just a second before going back to the fairy.

A sigh was heard from somewhere behind him and a small breath of air fell onto Harry's neck and right ear. He stopped breathing for a second before letting out air quietly through his nose, he had to stop himself not to shiver as the cool air crawled over his sensitive pale skinn. Someone was so close.

He swallowed hard and tried to focus his eyes and thoughts on the beautiful creture in front of him, but his thought would drift back to the heat coming from the persons body and the quiet brething that sounded so close behind him. With every breath another exhale of air would fall upon Harry's neck sending shivers down his spine and he had to control himself not to let it show.

"Beautiful." Draco breathed in his ear and Harry could feel his legs wobble, they were like jelly. He wanted to move so bad but found it impossible. He closed his eyes for a second and wished that Draco would pull back soon, yet he wanted him to come so much closer.

Only seconds later the blond haired slytherin straightened up stood tall with Harry following his example. The silver gaze shifted from the fairy to the raven haired boy who could have sworn that he saw the other boy's lips curl into a small smile for only a second.

"How much do you take for one of these?" Draco asked looking at the owner. Not that he wanted one, he just thought it was good for his future life to learn the value of rare things like these. He didn't like this man very much but he knew that he didn't scam people for their money.

"These I have here cost 600 galleons each, but this kind you can't find in the country, they live up north." He answered.

Draco and Harry didn't buy anything else from that store and decided that they should probably stop by three broomstick for something warm to drink.

Draco had expected the fairies to cost more and snorted at the thought of how much more money the owner of the store could have gotten for them if he wasn't so damn gullable himself.

He and Harry sat at the table of three broomsticks with a butterbeer each, it was incredible how just holding the bottle could warm up your fingers.

"What was that you bought?" Harry asked and took a sip from the hot beverage. Draco bent down and pulled out the small box from the paper back and handed it to the gryffindor who opened it carefully.

The pendant looked so beautiful close up, the blue stone was glittering in the light and you could almost feel the magic when you touched it, maybe that was what made it so entrancing.

"It's for my mother" Draco explained as Harry but it back in the box and pushed it back to the slytherin over the table. "She really needs the strength it is said to bring. She's been really stressed and worried about me, things are pretty rough now when my father has escaped from azkaban."

"Yeah I heard about that." Harry muttered, surprised of how even Draco seemed to think that it was a bad thing that his father was free. It had of course been in the daily prophet the day after.

"Yeah, so I thought I'd get her something to brighten her up so she doesn't have to worry all the time." The blonde boy said with a sad tone and took a sip from his bottle.

Harry felt bad for the other boys mother but couldn't help but think how big this was,Draco had actually opened up for him.

"Oh." Was all he could answer right then and sighed. "I hope she'll feel better soon." The slytherin placed his lips on the bottle and smiled before taking another sip and putting it down.

He stared at Harry without saying anything with a smile gracing his features and a small glint in his eyes. He reached out and grabbed Harry's smaller hand in his own without breaking eye contact. Then he smirked, bent down and placed a soft kiss on the back of it.

Harry tilted his head to the side and wondered what Draco was up to, even though he couldn't help a blush from appearing on his pale cheeks as he felt those soft lips ghost over his pale skinn.

He was jerked forward over the table as Draco tugged softly on his hand. Before Harry had reacted a pair of soft lips was upon his own in an innocent peck. Draco smiled against the smaller boys lips and stuck out his tongue, slowly tracing it over Harrys underlip and biting down gently.

The raven haired boys stomach was pressed against the table and he had a hard time trying to figure out what to do with his hands without accidently knocking down his butterbeer. He opened his mouth and welcomed Draco's warm tongue to meet his own, causing an amazing friction that shot waves of warmth through his body.

His eyelids slowly fluttered shut and his hands automatically reached up to tangle themselves into Draco's soft blond locks as their tongues massaged one another's. Harry sighed into the kiss and tried to move his neck into a more comfortable position without having to break their lips apart which was hard since he had to lean over the table.

He also noticed how tired his arms were getting, they were half bent in the air and his fingers were running through Draco's hair, there was no support keeping them in the air.

Draco stretched out his hands to find their way to Harry's hair but in the movement he accidently did what the other boy had tried so hard not to do himself - He pushed over his bottle with butterbeer. The beverage ran over the table and down onto Harry's lap before he could even react to the sound of glass hitting the table.

The gryffindor jerked back and stood up, butterbeer was running down the front of his robes and dripping to the floor. He swore and stared around for a napkin, a towel or anything.

He stared at Draco hopelessly and saw that the blond boy was biting his lip and his silver eyes were twinkeling in amusement. Harry raised an eyebrow, wait for it..

Draco burst out laughing at him, his eyes were teary and his cheeks were tinged pink. Harry crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly and without noticing it he pouted slightly.

"You shoulde have seen your face" Draco managed to choke out after he had calmed down slightly and noticed the look on Harry's face. "Oh, don't be like that, are you a wizard or not." He grabbed his wand from his pocket and with a swish in the air and some well chosen words the butterbeer just dried off.

"Stupid bottle, getting in the way" He muttered and shook his head, the mess on the table had disappeared as well. He looked up at the gryffindor and felt his breath get stuck in his throat.

Harry was still staring stubbornly at him with his underlip sticking out in a pout, all read and swollen. His pale cheeks were tinged pink and his breaths came in small pant with his chest raising up and down. He sat down again in front of the slytherin and snorted.

"you want to go somewhere else?" Draco asked, knowing exactly what _he _wanted to do.

"Maybe we should go back to the castle" Harry suggested and looked at the clock around his thin wrist. "We've been here for almost two hours and I don't want to worry my friends." Draco was slightly disappointed to leave so early, he hadn't had as fun for a while but he nodded.

They got up and left the quite little place, starting their walk back to hogwarts. They walked back through the main street and turned into the alley they had come through eariler. Draco let his eyes flicker to the boy next to him for a second. He smiled and grabbed Harry's hand, causing him to turn around towards him. Draco then grabbed his other hand too and held onto his thin wrists softly.

He smirked as Harry stared up at him with wide emerald eyes and began to walk him backwards against the alley wall. When the gryffindor was pressed against it he swept down and placed his lips over Harry's once again, they weren't finished at three broomsticks.

Harry opened his mouth at once and stuck out his tongue to meet Draco halfway, he wasn't as shy anymore in their kisses. The slytherin pressed his flush against the smaller boy's and nibbled softly on his swollen lip. Harry moaned and grabbed Draco around the neck, pulling his closer, wanting to taste every part of him.

Their lips broke apart for a second, their foreheads were resting against one another's and they were breathing heavily against each other's swollen lips. Harry looked into the slytherin's eyes and their gazes locked.

A warm feeling rose inside of his chest, making him smile. He pulled Draco against himself and captures his lips once again. Draco had one hand resting against the wall behind Harry and the other one on said boy's right hip. The gryffindor couldn't help but let out a giggle as Draco once again bit down on his lower lip but it turned into a soft moan as the taller boy's tongue caressed his own slowly.

They pulled apart as the lack of air was getting to them. Harry felt for a second like his legs wouldn't be able to keep him up, how was it that Draco had this effect on him? He rested his forehead against the slytherin's neck and shoulder, his breathing ghosting over the pale skin.

They stayed in each other's embrace for a couple of more minutes in complete silence before Draco spoke up.

"Maybe he should go back to the castle" he whispered in Harry's ear who nodded and his hair tickled the taller boy's cheek as he did so.

"Yeah" he muttered and let go of Draco so he could back away. He sighed at the loss of contact and ran a hand through his hair.

They started to walk back and Harry felt his hand itching to grab Draco's. _No _he told himself and shook his head, letting his bangs fall into his emerald eyes. _Don't ruin it now, he'll laugh at you. _He brought up his hand against his stomach for a second to keep him from doing anything he'd probably regret later and let his fall back to his side.

He almost jumped as he felt Draco's hand slip into his smaller own and looked up at the other boy who was smiling at him. Harry felt his cheek burn and smiled back.

They walked, chattering, back to hogwarts and Harry stopped with his hand still gripping Draco's who looked back at him. They were close to Hagrid's hut now.

"What is it?" the slytherin asked with a frown.

"Someone could see us." Harry explained. Draco looked at the castle and let go off of the smaller boy's hand.

"I didn't think about that" He snorted and nudged Harry in the shoulder. "We should go one at the time, you want to go first?" Harry nodded and pulled his cloak tigther around himself. He stood on his tip-toe and pecked Draco on the lips.

"I had fun" He said and turned around, feeling like an idiot. Without looking back he started walking through the snow and towards the castle, his cheeks and nose turning pink from the cold.

He didn't stop until he reached the fat lady's portrait and entered the common room. He looked around for Ron or Hermione but they weren't there, they were probably in the library, trying to get Ron's homeworks done.

Harry walked up to the boy's dormitory and shrugged off his cloak, throwing it on the bed. It was best that he tried to find Ron and Hermione before they got worried again, if he just could find that damn map.

He opened his trunk and started to search through his posessions, it wasn't there. He couldn't remember using it so it had got to be somewhere around here. Next he kneelt down next to the bed and tried the drawer to his nightstand with his parent's photo on top of it. There was nothing there but a few quills, a pair of glasses he no longer needed and a snitch that lay still with it's wings curled around the golden ball.

Harry slammed the drawer shut in frustration and stared around in the room, maybe Ron had borrowed it. He stood up, supporting his weight on the bed as he did so and something on the neatly made cover of it caught his eyes. There lay a pice of parchment resting innocently. It couldn't be it.

Harry grabbed his wand from his pocket in one hand and the parchment in the other.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." He said and poked it with the tip of his wand. A map over the school appeared inch by inch and small dots withname tags appeared as usual.

The map didn't lay there before, he would have seen if it had. Whatever, it didn't matter. He scanned the map and found the library. There as he had suspected he could see his two friends' dots not moving. _Studying _he snorted and shook his head with a smile on his head.

He could also see 'Draco Malfoy' moving towards the dungeons.

"I'm hungry" A small voice hissed. Harry looked down on the floor and saw the white snake slither around his legs. Icicle lifted her head and stared at him with deep silver eyes.

"Okay." Harry hissed back. "I can take you to the kitchen, I'm sure that there's something there you can eat." He lowered his arms to it was a few inches from the floor. The small snake's upper body rose in the air and curled around Harry's arm with the rest of it's body following suit.

When he had made sure that the snake was hidden under his clothes, Harry put the map in his pocket with his wand and walked out of the common room, he was going to find his friends but first he had to feed the hungry snake curled around his arm.

* * *

Please review, let me hear what you think. Also, I want to know what you think I can put in the story to fill up some holes with, what would you want to read happen? 


	24. On My Own

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: This story is very hard to write since I really don't know how long it's be going on and I'm running out of ideas, I don't wanna make it too long. Reviews always means a lot cause it's nice to get feedback for all your hardwork. thanks for them all. :) Two special shout outs:

**Sakura Butterfly:** thank you for making me want to write so much more :) **xX.Padfoot.Xx**: thank you for the ideas :)

Warnings: Abuse, angst, slash, fluff 'n stuff.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Song lyrics; The Used - On My Own. I don't own it either.

* * *

Chapter Twentyfour: On My Own 

_See all those people on the ground. Wasting time. I try to hold it all inside. But just for tonight. The top of the world.  
__Sitting here wishing The things I've become. That something is missing. Maybe I... But what do I know_

_And now it seems that I have found. Nothing at all. I want to hear your voice out loud. Slow it down, slow it down. Without it all  
I'm choking on nothing. It's clear in my head. And I'm screaming for something. Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all_

Harry closed the portrait with the pear behind himself and walked down the corridor with a full snake curled around his arm. He had felt really weird trying to think of something to feed his snake with, the only thing he could think of was rats.

He had explained to the elves that he wanted a rat for his animal, he had of course felt like a complete idiot, but minutes later the elves came back with a fried rat and vegetables on a silver plate.

Icicle had stared sceptically on the rat before devouring it whole, the vegetables lay forgotten in a corner of the plate. Harry was shocked to see such a small snake eat something that big, it was scary really.

He was now on his way to the library to look for Ron and Hermione. He scanned the place for them but could only see a few fifth year ravenclaw students throwing themselves over a couple of book lying in a pile, last day before school studying.

Maybe they had chosen a little more private place, knowing how Ron couldn't concentrate around people. Harry walked behind a few shelves to a section where the trio used to study unless someone was already occupying it, which didn't happen often.

He frowned as he heard something fall to the ground and turned around another shelf. He could actually feel his heartbeat stop for a second at the scene before him. There was his two best friends looking as if they didn't notice that anyone even excisted around them.

Hermione stood still with her hands to her side with a small blush on her cheeks. Ron had his hands on the girl's arms and was leaning down kissing her on the lips slowly, accidently knocking his forehead into her's a few times.

Harry turned around and left the library. He felt his eyes watering as a feeling of sadness, jealously and betrayal rose inside of him. His two best friends, kissing behind his back. He got a small flashback, seeing Ron's hand on Hermione's hip, this wasn't a one time thing.

How could his friends go behind his back like that? weren't they all equally important for each other? How could they leave him out like this? he was like a third wheel now. He blushed in embarrassment, were they waiting for him to leave them alone when the three of them were hanging out so that they could be alone? All those questions were running through his head and all he could think of was how left out he was.

He hadn't had a friend before he got to hogwarts and he wasn't all that popular when it came to the subject. People knew him for being the boy-who-lived but he had only had a few very close friends. He had thought that friendship meant more than that.

Of course he had secrets as well, everyone did, but this was different. Ron and Hermione were leaving him out. Would he only be the third wheel now? Why would they want to be around a depressed attention seeking brat when they could be alone together instead?

Maybe they would just ditch him completely, just cut of their friendship. They must be really sick of him always being the center of everything. Harry let his feet drag him in whatever direction they had in mind, he couldn't believe how alone he felt right now.

His body was also burning with jealously, everyone had someone special. Someone to love. What did he have? he was just a miserable freak, not even his own family had loved him.

It was like he was trapped in his own body, trying to get out, trying to get people to notice him. No one saw him, they just saw his facade. No one could see into his heart and soul, no one knew.

His face was expressionless but inside he was breaking, he had been doing that for a while now. Slowly he fell apart and sank deeper and deeper into himself. Why didn't anyone notice him? He sighed as a tear ran down his pale cheek and let himself fall onto his bed. He was about to stick his hand into a pocket of his robes when he realized that he was wearing his PJ instead.

Confused he stared around and saw his clothes neatly folded on the bedside table. Not actually caring how that had happened he searched through them until he found one of the remaining bottles of calming draught. He opened it quickly spilling out just a little before he drank it all and threw down the bottle to the floor. Glass crashed into a thousand pieces against the hard floor as Harry felt the potion start working and it didn't take long before he was asleep.

* * *

The short pause from schoolwork was over. Monday hit them hard, starting with potions. Harry woke up feeling worse than he had done the week earlier, he felt psyichally and mentally tired. He simply didn't have the will to get out of bed and stared up into the ceiling, a quivering sigh escaping his dry lips. 

His body was heavy and he felt like he was sinking into the matress. What was the point of getting up? What was the point of going to class? It didn't matter, nothing mattered. Not anymore.

Everything seemed to pointless, when did life begun to feel so empty? Harry turned to his side and stared across the room, out through the window. The sun was shining, a new start for a new day.

He closed his eyes, shutting out the light, shutting out the snores around him, the quiet breathing coming from the bed next to his, simply shutting out his surroundings. Not exactly knowing how much later, he could barely register the shuffle of bedsheets and a creaking bed.

Someone was shaking his shoulder lightly to get him up, someone's cold touch upon the soft material of his pyjamas. Someone's voice was telling him to wake up. A small voice in his ear, soft breathing on his cheek.

Harry shivered and frowned, the same cold hand was instantly upon his forehead. The boy groaned and turned over so that he was lying on his back. Trying to shake the hand off, he realized that his head felt too heavy to move.

His small pale hands struggled to lift the thick cover up to his neck. Once he had done that he curled into a fetal position under it, trying to steal as much warmth from it as possible to heat up his own cold body.

"Harry are you okay?" The voice was so far away but yet so close. It was like it was inside of his head but clouded so that he could barely hear the words that were being spoken. He groaned again in respons, not feeling like he was able to lift his dry lips.

More muffled things were said, this time nothing made sense. Harry felt his eyelids getting heavier and his eyes burn slightly, he blinked once. Twice. It stung and he couldn't keep them up anymore, back in the dark he could a numb feeling taking over and his mind working slower. It didn't take long before he fell asleep.

Darkness. It was all so dark, empty and quiet. Harry didn't know if he was asleep or awake, he didn't feel awake, but wouldn't he feel more rested if he was sleeping? He was exhausted. He felt his eyes burning as a sudden white light appeared, he shot up in bed and stared around frantically. The sun was shining in between his bed hangings and lighting up his pillow.

Harry jumped off the bed on shaky legs and wobbled over to the window, the sun had raisen high above in the sky. He stared around in the dormitory rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he did so. It was completely empty. Where was everybody? Had they just left to breakfast without him? What time was it?

He shook his head to clear out his mind, it didn't help much. He dressed as quick as he could in his just awoken state, his clothes were in a mess but he couldn't care less. He lazily put on his shoes and threw his bag over his shoulder. He walked down to the common room and noticed that it was also empty, he swore and rushed out the portrait hole, his head spinning the entire way.

His first idea was to get to breakfast before class, his head was aching, his stomach was hurting and he just felt simply ill. He could feel his lungs working as he ran down the corridors and sweat pearl down his forehead. When he finally got to his destination he pushed up the big doors to the great hall and sighed in relief at the sight of the school gathered together eating and chattering.

He walked over to the gryffindor table when he made out a red head sticking up in the mass of people.

"Hey mate" He said colder than he had meant for it to sound, he could never keep his feelings to himself. "Why didn't you wake me up?" Ron turned around, looking troubled and swallowed a mouthful of food before answering.

"I tried" He muttered avoiding Harry's burning, angry/hurt gaze. "But then you looked so ill that I thought that it would be best to let you rest some more" He sounded so caring that Harry actually forgot all about his anger and hurt about what had happened last night in the library.

"Oh." he mumbled and looked down on the empty plate in front of him. "So what do we have after this? Potions right?" Ron frowned and stared at him for a second.

"No defence against dark arts." he said and suddenly blushed, looking down too.

"What?" Harry asked closing his eyes patiently, when he decided to open them again he noticed that on the table there weren't the usual food they got for breakfast, no toast, yoghurt, cereals, egg, bacon. Instead there were plates filled with pasta, sausages, rise, chicken, potato and different kinds of fish.

"Well you kinda missed potions" Ron said and added quickly before Harry could snap at him "I didn't think that you would mind though. I mean you never liked potions anyway."

Harry had to agree to that, he didn't like potions. But he knew that this was the day when they were going to do their presentations for the headache potions and he felt like he let Draco down by not being there. Oh how the other slytherins must have laughed when he didn't show. He could really imagine their taunting voices ' Golden boy too nervous to show up today?' He could really see the gleeful look on Parkinsson's face and the smirk on her pudgey face.

He did not like potions. He hadn't felt especially happy about assignment. But yet he had felt really determined to do it. He sighed and looked over at the slytherin table, Draco wasn't among the students. He had been to class right? Maybe he was sick and had missed potions too, or maybe he had just left the great hall earlier already. Harry sighed.

"It's okay Ron" He said and smiled weakly. Ron seemed relieved that his best friend wasn't angry with him and turned back to his food. Harry looked around at the table and shook his head, he wasn't hungry.

* * *

"Mr Malfoy, stay after class" Snape's tone rang through the dungeons as the other students left for lunch. They always ate lunch earlier on mondays, only two classes after breakfast. (Or in this case, one double) Draco sighed and threw his bag over his shoulder waiting for the last ravenclaw Terry Boot to leave. The slytherin stared coldly after the other boy as he rushed after his friends. When the door closed behind him, Draco turned around to Snape who gestured at a chair in front of the desk that had appeared from out of nowhere. 

Draco sat down gracefully and let his bag slip off his arms and onto the floor softly. He brushed away a strand of blonde hair that fell into his beautiful face and waited for Snape to start. The older man pulled out one of the drawers of the desk and started to search through it, he picked up the other things and emptied them all onto the desk before he apparently found what he was looking for.

"I must say that I am impressed by the effect of your potion." He finally spoke. "Although I wonder, where is your partner? I'm pretty sure that I made it clear that you would do this assignment two and two, not alone." Draco had also wondered where Harry had been during class, maybe he was sick or perhaps nerves? He hoped that he had nothing to do with whatever it was.

"I do not know where Potter is." Draco snapped coldly at his godfather, how come they only let their facades for each other slip at rare occansions? "I am not his mother."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "That's one point from slytherin for your tongue, Draco." He said. Draco rolled his eyes, it wasn't the first time Snape had taken points from him, no matter what those Gryffindors might think.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to fail mr Potter" The older man snarled. "again.." Draco bit his lip on the inside of his mouth so that his expression seemed as emotionless, he felt somewhat guilty, Harry had helped him with coming up with the ingredients for the potion even if they hadn't made it together.

"Don't do that" He said simply with an arrogant tone, sounding dangerously much like an order. "Potter has been helping me, and I think it's underfair to change his grade alone for a grade we're supposed to get together."

Snape stood up and stared him in the eyes, Draco smirked and kept their eyes locked, he couldn't help but feel satisfied when he saw the potions master's clearly annoyed face.

"Severus you know that's not gonna work on me." He said simply. "You're the one who taught me how to close my mind rememeber. I would be a bit of disappointment if my shield broke down now right? You're gonna have to trust my words." Snape walked around the desk so that he was standing next to Draco's chair.

"Once again I'm impressed Draco." He said with a slightly annoyed tone. "I'm mainly intrested in why you are helping mr Potter, are you sure you don't know where he is?" His voice was low and dangerous, his eyes narrowed and head staring down upon him.

"Yes, I'm_ sure_." Draco hissed. Why did Snape care about where Harry was? usually he didn't need reasons to lower his grades or take points from him. Was there something else? There was definetely something about that boy. Draco had seen him in the hospital wing, he knew about the calming potions and Snape was asking questions. Come to think of it, Snape had also been in the hospital wing that night he had seen Harry.

"Why do you care?" He asked suspiciously and narrowed his silver eyes. Snape opened his eyes when the door to the potions classroom was harshly pulled open and a see through figure flew in, shrieking as he did so. Draco covered his ears and turned around to see the annoying poltergiest that no one had gotten rid of yet smirking at them.

"PEEVES" Snape roared and stomped across the room. The figure laughed coldly and his smirk widened.

"Itter bitter Snapey-poo, whatacha gonna do?" He taunted. Snape pulled out his wand and with a flick the poltergiest flew backwards out through the door that closed with a slam behind him, as this happened a gust of wind swept through the room. Potions bottles clinked, parchment rustled and clothes were ruffled.

Draco saw a small piece of parchment fly down from Snape's desk and land at his feet, it had been rolled into a ball and then straightened out which had made it wrinkly and torn. He could clearly make up a few words such as 'The last' and 'Potter' he bent down to pick it up when another hand snatched it before him. The blonde slytherin looked up and narrowed his eyes at his godfather. Snape stuffed the note into his pocked quickly and glared back.

"You may go." he said. Draco stood up close to Snape and looked him in the eyes. Making sure that his eyes had gotten the older man's complete attention, one of his slender hands slowly worked itself into the older man's pocket without touching anything more than the soft material of his robes.

"Yes sir." He nodded as he felt the note under his fingers. He lifted his hand quickly, slipping the note inside of his sleeve. Turning around he allowed himself to let out the smirk tugging at his lips and leave the room, _he was late for lunch._

* * *

"Harry are you sure that you can go to defence against dark arts?" Hermione asked biting her lower lip. "We could just tell professor Nuit that you're sick if you need to rest some more." Harry shook his head. 

"I'm fine" He said through clenched teeth, not cause he was particulary angry but to make his point; there was no point trying to get him back to bed. Hermione nodded and sighed, she knew when she had been defeated.

"Okay, but if you start to feel ill during class" She continued. "Just leave the classroom and we'll come see you afterwards." Harry nodded and stood up from the table, so did Ron.

"Wait, aren't you gonna eat anything?" Hermione asked worriedly grabbing onto his sleeve gently. "You really need the energy and strength if you want to get better."

"Hermione! I'm _fine!_ I'm not hungry" Harry replied truthfully, hoping that she would just let it go.

"But you missed breakfast" She continued stubbornly. "And you barely ate yesterday either." Harry pulled his arm out of Hermione's grasp.

"I stopped by the kitchen last night, before I went to the library" he said, adding the last part with a slight annoyance in his voice. His eyes narrowed as he saw Hermione blush and her eyes flicker towards Ron. Harry rolled his eyes and turned around, he was going to defence against dark arts.

It didn't take long before Ron and Hermione was by his side, trying once again to talk to him. Harry sighed and tried to ignore them, he knew that they would take the hint and let him be.

After defence against dark arts Hermione was still trying to catch Harry's eye even though she wasn't saying anything. Professor Nuit had pointed out to Harry afterwards before he left that he had wandless magic later that night. Great something to pass time with, usually when Harry didn't have anything to do he started to think about the most confusing things and that made his head hurt.

To his surprise and delight, Draco had shown up for DADA. Their eyes had met once during class, Harry hadn't been able to hold back a smile and blushed. The blonde slytherin only frowned and Harry had spent the class unaware of everything that happened, too into his own confusing thoughts.

Soon he fell behind from the group of students without noticing it. He was looking down at the floor, taking small steps with his short legs. He sighed, maybe Draco had regretted everything that had happened between the two of them.

Feeling a pang at his heart he shook his head, trying mentally to prepare for yet another emotional rejection. He had started to care about the slytherin even though a part of him had always doubted the other boy's motives.

He had actually felt for a while there that Draco might have cared about him too, why else would he have kissed him?_ Why would anyone love a worthless freak? _

Harry shuddered at his uncle's words. He could almost hear him whisper them in his ear, he could almost feel the warm breath against his bare neck. He stopped and squirmed slightly as his skin began itching. He looked around, there was no one there, not even a student. _I have to stop being so paranoid _He thought and scratched his sensitive skin at the back of his neck harshly.

It was red and irritated now, stinging and raw. Harry let out an irritated sigh, noticing how his hands were shaking. He was silently trying to convince himself that he was not afraid but the panic crept up on him anyway.

His breath had quickened and he could feel his heart beating faster. _Calm down, Harry. Calm down _He tried to tell himself, but even the voice instead of his head was shaky and without confidence.

He felt like he was trapped in a little box, nasty words echoed around in the walls. _Unwanted good for nothing. _Harry slammed his hands at each side of his head, desperately clutching onto his hair, covering his ear to shut it all out.

"Shut up! SHUT UP!" He roared out in the empty corridor, half forgotten where he was.

Harry's heart stopped for half a second as he heard footsteps coming from somewhere nearby. He closed his eyes and pulled at his hair, desperately wanting whatever it was to go away. They only seemed to be closer though, something was following him!

His eyes shut open and turned around quickly. Scanning the corridor, he saw a door not too far away. He rushed over there, opened it, got in and closed it behind him once again. He leaned back against the door with his eyes closed, trying to see if he could hear anything.

After only a few second he slid down the door so that he was sitting on the floor, still listening carefully.

He almost hit himself in embarrassment. Why was he such a coward? He was supposed to be a gryffindor and there he was hiding from a trick in his mind like some kind of scared.. Hufflepuff.

He rested his bag on the floor and as he had done several times before, picked up a crystal phial with calming draught. He knew that he didn't have a lot of them left and that he shouldn't use them as often as he did. He wouldn't want to get addicted now, would he.

He opened it alla swallowed the content in one gulp. Within a second a dazed feeling crossed over him and he felt the panic disappear, his breath was deeper and softer, his heart slowed down and his shaking form seemed to melt away as a mellow feeling took over.

His arms and legs lay against the cold floor, too heavy to lift. Harry just sat there leaning back against the door with his eyes closed, enjoying the content feeling and the calm surroundings.

When he opened his eyes he noticed that the room was spinning, with support from the door he pulled himself to his feet, groaning as his head ached.

He blinked several times trying to get his eyes to focus but it didn't help, he felt his body swaying slightly and he had to lean against the wall to keep himself from tumbeling to the floor. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

His stomach started to ache and he could feel the potions tumbeling around inside of it. With his hands around his stomach, Harry sank to the floor, landing hard on his knees.

He was getting more and more ill by the second, his head was spinning and the potion was making him fell sick to his stomach. If things continued like this he'd vomit.

He glanced around in the room trying to see where he was, he couldn't see details but it was obvious that he was in a small classroom. He forced himself onto his feet, his legs shaking dangerously under his weight. He had completely forgotten about his eariler panic attack and the reason, he wasn't able to think clearly at all.

With trembeling hands he opened the door and almost fell out of the room since he had been leaning against it. He began walking through the spinning corridor with his hands desperately grabbing for the wall, his fingers never left the cold stone if they did he was sure that he'd fall down.

His mouth felt weird and he knew that he was going to throw up any second, he had to find a bathroom. He didn't know how long he walked around in the empty hallway, he groaned and continued, half leaning against the wall the entire way.

Finally he found the boys' bathroom on the second floor and he clumsily got in. A wave of sickness shot through him and another groan escaped his lips. Just after that his stomach turned hashly and he felt the content in his stomach raise to his throat.

He covered his mouth and unable to stop his body's reflexes, coughed it up. Blue liqiud ran through his fingers and dripped down to the floor. Harry fell to his knees and continued to cough, the calming potion running down his chin and fingers.

He pulled himself up with the help of a nearby sink, his wet hand slipping slightly. He coughed violently into the sink and felt something inside himself give in as he heaved it all up.

It was all pure, running, blue liquid. Harry felt himself shudder and the ache in his head eased up slightly to a numbing sort of pain. The world wasn't spinning but he could still see white and black spots covering his eyes.

He rubbed them furiously with his dry hand and pulled the tap on the sink. Water poured out, gathering up with the potion and swirling down the drain together leaving nothing but white clean marble.

Harry fell to his knees, feeling extremely drained and tired now. His stomach was heavy and numb, his eyes half clouded, his head aching and his mind foggy.

He shuddered again and sniffled, he hadn't felt so bad for a really long time. He made a face at the disgusting taste in his mouth and stood up on shaky legs to drink som water. He heard him stomach turn loudly and realized his mistake, you couldn't drink a potion like that on an empty stomach.

Harry cupped his hands together and filled them with water before drinking it, he repeated this untill he could feel all the water filling up stomach. When he had done that he fumbled with his bag and found another calming potion, he didn't know why he wanted more but he just needed it.

He swallowed the content and sat down on the floor, his legs felt weak enough already he didn't know how much more they had been able to take.

The ache in his stomach and head faded away and he was left with a numb feeling, there was no point trying to move if he even wanted to. The black spots before his emerald eyes grew bigger and bigger and his eyelides were getting heavier. It didn't take long before the black spots were covering his entire vision, not that it mattered, his eyes were shut by that time.

* * *

_He was late for lunch. _Draco walked down the corridor from the great hall, after his meeting with Snape he had joined his fellow slytherins during the short periode of time that had been left of lunch. He hadn't been able to miss the disgusted look he had gotten from Damon as he sat down next to Blaise. 

None of them had said anything but the fact that the dark haired boy hadn't stood up and left was a sign that things were going to be fine between them. Draco knew that Damon wouldn't be pleased with Blaise for that, just the fact that the latter boy accepted Draco's presence was enough betrayal for any slytherin.

Draco had felt better knowing that Blaise loyally stood by him, he _did_ have real friends. Real friends that would stand by you even with people like Damon, Jason and Ethan around.

Draco had left eariler than Blaise who seemed to be having a discussion with Theodore. He nodded respectfully as he stood up at the tanned boy who did the same gesture back.

He walked down the corridor towards the defenece against dark arts class when he remembered the note in his pocket. He stopped and pulled it out of the pocket, glaring at a ravenclaw boy passing through as his curious eyes met Draco's.

He sighed in annoyance and turned to the little piece of parchment.

_'Last will and testament of Harry James Potter'_

Draco frowned as his eyes scanned through the content. Filled with grief and sorrow, it was all just as the title said. Harry Potter giving away his properties like he was dying. Was that his secret? Did he have some illness? Why else would he write this?

Draco stuffed the note into his pocket, it had been supposed to answer his questions, yet it had only made him more confused. He was still deep in thoughts when he sat down in the classroom.

Professor Nuit started the lesson only a few minutes later . Draco scanned through the classroom, was Harry in this class? maybe he hadn't shown to school because he was sick. His thoughts drifted back to the parchment in his pocket. Could he have some dangerous disease?

His eyes stopped at a dark mop of hair next to bright red and bushy brown. He saw Harry stiffen and turn around, emerald eyes met silver and Draco felt his heart pound heavily in his chest.

The gryffindor smiled shyly and blushed. Draco noticed the bags under the eyes and thought more than ever about how thin and pale the other boy was. He frowned and saw something flicker in the emerald eyes before Harry turned around again.

He couldn't help but feel protective of the other boy, it reminded him about that night with Damon, Jason and Ethan.

After class Draco had decided to try and talk to Harry. He walked out through the room and continued down the long corridor, stopping behind a corner waiting for the other students to pass.

It didn't take long before everyone else walked through, Draco only hoped that he would be able to get some alone time with Harry without too many people noticing them sneaking off.

Granger and Weasley soon passed by, Draco frowned and turned to look down the corridor, there were a few stundents left. It was after he saw them disappear he started to get worried. The corridor was empty and quiet, maybe Harry stayed after a few minutes, that would be better anyway since he wouldn't be surrounded by other students.

After ten minutes Draco grew impatient and thought he heard some small footsteps. He walked back to the defence against dark arts classroom but no one was there or anywhere outside. He thought he heard a door close somewhere behind him and turned around.

There was a black door behind him to the left, he opened it and looked into it. It was a small dark room with curtains covering the windows. He stepped inside and the door closed behind him, now it was completely black in there. He pulled out his wand and muttered 'Lumos'.

A small bright light appeared from the tip of his wand and swept over the room, there was a dark desk on the other end of the room with a chair behind that looked somewhere like a small throne as dark as the desk but with some red in it. Behind the desk there were shelves with weird objects almost covering the entire wall on that side.

All over the room there were candles in red, black and dark purple wax; on the shelves, on the desk, hanging from the walls and even floating up by the celing. It was pretty obvious that there was no one else here so he left the room.

Down the corridor there was another door Draco knew was leading to a small classroom where he had arithmancy sometimes. He opened the door and scanned through it, no one was there.

He sighed, maybe he had just missed Harry in the group of students. Feeling really disappointed he fixed the bag over his shoulder and walked for the second time within ten minutes down the long corridor.

He silently cursed the slytherin common room for being so deep in the dungeons. There were always long enough break between classes so that students could run back and get books or other necessary thing they could need, you just couldn't carry it all around.

Draco stopped as he heard glass shatter against something hard. He looked around in curiousity, probably some young student who didn't know how to treat potion equitment.

Draco might not have been the most caring person in the world to help the children in need but he did respect his position as a prefect. It was a title he had to deserve.

It sounded like it was coming from the boys' bathroom, he opened the door and looked in with his prefect badge fully visable. It was not hard to make out the dark haired boy in black clothes against the light marble.

Harry was slumped against the wall with his eyes closed and arms hanging on each side of his legs. Draco felt his inside turn and was by the smaller boy's side at once, fully aware of the clattering of glass he heard under his feet.

"Harry" he called lightly shaking the boy, just enough to be able to wake him but not to hurt him. To his dread the boy wouldn't wake up, he filled his hands with some of the still running water from the sink and splashed some of it in Harry's face with the tip of his fingers.

The gryffindor scrunched up his nose, furrowed hiw brows and turned away his head, his eyelashes fluttering slightly.

"Come on Harry" Draco whispered, cupping the other boy's chin and stroking the fringe away from his face. "Wake up."

Harry slowly opened his eyes and stared at Draco. The slytherin was suprised at the pain and vulnerability he saw in them.

"It's okay" He whispered again and supported Harry against his shoulder but was shocked when the boy pulled away suddenly and started to cough up a light blue liquid.

Draco spoke to him softly and stroke his back, his words were soft but his eyes were worried and hard.

"Harry, what is wrong with you?" He asked in an almost angry voice. "What have you done?" Harry flinched and pressed himself against the wall with his eyes firmly shut.

"Answer me" Draco said harshly but added then softer. "Talk to me." Harry was shaking and didn't say a word. There was no way Draco was going to get anything out of him. "That's it, I'm taking you to the hospital" he lifted out his arms to help the other boy to stand up.

"NO!" Harry screamed, trashing around with his arms flailing in the arm, desperately pushing the blonde slytherin's arms away. "No, please I don't want to."

"Then tell me what's wrong" Draco cried trying to get Harry to calm down. "I just want to help you."

The gryffindor sobbed and hiccoughed once, two small blue drops flew up and landed on his black robes. Draco pulled him gently to his feet and watched as Harry bent down over the sink coughing and gagging up the rest of whatever potion he had taken.

A light blue liquid swirled down with the water and disappeared. Draco stroke Harry's back gently and held him up so that his knees wouldn't give in under his weight.

When the gryffindor was done, his body became completely relaxed and weak He was now leaning gently against Draco to not fall down and sniffled weakly with his eyelids closed

"Harry" Draco whispered. "What is wrong with you?" the question was blunt, but he didn't know how to ask what he wanted to know in another way. He helped him down to the floor again, making sure that the head resting on his shoulder was comfortable for the both of them.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked in a slurred voice. Draco's head was full of unanswered questions, he hadn't been this confused in a long time.

"The calming potions, the bags under your eyes, the hospital wing" he explained. "and this" he pulled out the small parchment out of his pocket and showed Harry his own will.

"I didn't write that" The gryffindor said after taking a look at it. "Why does everyone believe that?" Draco frowned, maybe it wasn't Harry who had written it, he didn't know his handwriting after all.

"But what about the rest? the calming potion?" Draco continued pulling the smaller boy closer to him, leaving his strong arm around Harry's stomach. He cast a look at the glass on the floor and saw a small puddle of the potion right next to it.

The raven haired boy shivered and a small tear trickled down his face, it was brushed away by Draco's warm and soft hand.

"It just gets hard sometimes" Harry whispered in a low tone and Draco had to lean closer to hear him.

"What do you mean?" He inquired. "What's hard?" He felt Harry stop shaking slightly in his arms while rubbing his back soothingly. "Please tell me what's wrong." The gryffindor shivered nervously.

"I'm scared." He said in the same low tone and looked down in embarrassment.

"Of what?" Draco asked softly. Harry was silent for a while. The taller boy cupped his chin and lifted his head up so their eyes met.

"My m-memories" The gryffindor stuttered out. "and the fact that they scare me so much." Draco looked at him seriously.

"Harry.. What happened to you?" he asked. He saw Harry bite his lip as if struggeling with himself, was he finally going to find out about all those things he had been wondering for so long?

Harry took a shuddering breath and started his story. That night he poured his soul out for his ex enemy, everything that had lead to this moment and everything he had felt going through it. He would stop ever so often when he felt that he could not go on any longer, then he would look up into those silver eyes watching him and feel new strength building up. There was no judgemental in those depts, there were just filled with support and understanding.

When he was done with his summer, the hospital wing and calming potions he felt Draco's arms tighten around his numb figure and Harry would feel as if everything was fine for the moment.

Draco's eyes was a mixture of emotions; sadness for the boy he had come to care about, rage for the person who would do this and a comforting look that was meant for the same sobbing boy in his arms.

He felt his heart swell with pride that Harry had trusted him with something like this. He sighed into the dark locks of hair and silently promised that everything would be okay.


	25. To Take The First Step

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: **Sorry for taking so long,**_life has been pretty hard lately I haven't been feeling well so I've been taking medicine but I just got stressed and tired_. I know this chapter is short, I just wanted you guys to know that I'm** _not_** abandoning the story.

Also the name of the chapter (_To Take The First Step_) is refered to the fact that Harry's realizations of what really is important is the first step towards the beginning of the end of his recovery.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, **slash.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

Chapter Twentyfive: To Take The First Step 

Everything would be okay. He could feel it now. He didn't know how long it'd take, but everything would be okay.

Something about what Draco had said made Harry feel like he'd always have him by his side. They hadn't gone to the hospital wing after what had happened in the bathroom, they had spent the remaining class before dinner just talking and enjoying each others' company.

Harry had been sitting between Draco's legs, leaning backwards against the taller boy's strong chest. The slytherin's chin was resting on top of the dark mop of hair and his arms were wrapped around Harry's waist from behind.

Like that they had stayed for what seemed like ages, yet it felt too soon when they seperated from each other to go to dinner.

Harry caught up with Ron and Hermione. They had of course been worried because of his sudden disappearance and the fact that he hadn't turned up for transfiguration. He explained that he had gone back to the dormitory to rest, he felt bad for lying and worrying his friends.

When he thought about it, how could he be angry at his friends because of something as jealousy. Jealously because they seemed to have found a devotion he had been craving his entire life. It did hurt his feelings that they didn't tell him about things like that but everyone has secrets and he knew that if it was serious they would tell him.

Why his sudden change? Maybe he had just realized that he knew that there maybe was someone like that for him.

After Harry had began to see Draco in another way than his enemy he had also started to see the rest of the world differently. Every day was to be treasured, somewhere during this dark times he seemed to have forgotten the good in life. Maybe he could find some happiness too.

He felt more than willing to do his hardest to get on with his life and try to live on, but he knew that he would have to go through everything in order to let it go. It wasn't going to be easy, he knew that, but he couldn't deny that he wanted a life full of joy and it would be easier with the help of his friends and maybe even Draco.

After the classes were through that day, Harry had gone to meet with professor Nuit for his wandless magic lesson. He was proud to see that his training had helped somewhat.

He was once again sitting in the dark and small office in front of the wooden desk. The sun wasn't shining as bright as the last time so there was no sunlight coming through the red curtains covering the windows. The only lightsources in the room were the candles placed all around in there. It wasn't so bad though, the lights were enchanted and the light seemed to shine a lot brighter than usual muggle candles.

Harry wiped some sweat away from his forehead and smiled proudly. He had now succeeded in making the feather fly into his palm from the same place as before, and he had done it three times in a row without getting too drained.

"Good job grasshopper." Professor Nuit said lowly from across the desk and tapped his fingers on the hard mahogny soundlessly. "I still think that we should wait before you try to take on a bigger incantation like transfiguration or anything similar that will cause a change in the objects creation. Try using the _wingardium leviosa_ and make the feather fly as far _away_ from you as possible to test your limits"

Harry nodded and opened his palm with the feather still ruffled in it. He said the incantation clearly and furrowed his brows as he focused on making it lift from his hand. When it had gotten about half an inch in the air, he put his focus on making it move away from himself.

It didn't actually take long before it had gotten as far as the spot on the desk where he used to put the feather and try to make it come to him. He noticed it was shaking slightly as he passed the edge of the desk and his head was starting to hurt at the concentration.

He tried to put every bit of magic in making it fly just a little bit more.. a little bit more.. a little bit more. His breath was shallow and came in small puffs, his body felt weaker and weaker by the second and the feather seemed to be moving so slowly.

With a tired groan, Harry fell back against the chair and breathed heavily trying to regain his breath as the feather slowly fell to the ground a few inches after the desk ended. He was too tired to try anything more right now.

"This is enough for this time" Nuit said seeing how out of it Harry was. The boy nodded and stood up, his legs were shaking a little.

He left the room and turned around quickly as he felt someone tap on his shoulder. He felt his heart stop for a second at the sight of another person but calmed down slightly when he noticed that it was just Draco.

"I'm sorry" the slytherin muttered quickly. "I didn't mean to scare you." Harry shook his head and laughed softly.

"You just startled me a bit" he said and grabbed a handful of his own robes at the place over his heart. It was still beating faster than normal but he felt himself relax more by the second. "What are you doing here?" Draco shrugged and moved to lean with his shoulder against the wall. He grinned at the boy in front of him.

Harry was placing his weight on one leg, looking like he was leaning too. His hands were tangled together as he fiddled with his fingers, a habit Draco had noticed. His head was tilted to the side and his fringe fell into his face, slightly covering those sparkling emerald eyes.

"You told me you had extra lessons so I thought I'd stop by." Draco answered. "Do I always need a reason for coming to see you?" He slid of the wall and took a few steps closer to Harry, who shook his head and straightened up.

"I-I-I guess not." He muttered and cursed himself for stuttering like that. Draco laughed softly causing Harry to blush in embarrassment.

"Stop being so nervous" The slytherin said and grabbed the other boy's fiddeling hands in his own.

"I'm not." was the protest he got back.

Draco grinned and spun Harry around so that his back was pressed against the taller boy's chest. The gryffindor gasped at the sudden movement but couldn't help but smile as he felt a pair of arms around his waist and warm hands over his stomach. He was tightly hugged from behind and felt Draco's chin rest on his shoulder and the side of their faces close to each other.

"So how did practise go?" He heard a low voice in his ear. Harry was tense in the strong arms and sighed softly.

"What is this?" he asked ignoring Draco's question. "I mean.. the two of ous, what are we? what is going on between us?" He got a familiar feeling of dejá vu, he had asked the question before but never really gotten a straight answer.

"Well.." Draco muttered and let out a sigh against Harry's neck which didn't help the already nervous boy a bit. "I like you." he continued simply and shrugged while swaying slightly with the smaller boy in his arms.

Harry's heart stopped for a second and he felt something stuck in his throat. An overwhelming feeling of happiness rushed over him almost causing him to laugh. He turned around in Draco's arms and looked him in the eyes, they looked so sincere and loving. When had those gray cold eyes turned into such a loving pool of silver? He placed his hands on the taller boy's chest.

"I like you too." Harry said feeling more confident than he had done for so long. He giggled at his own feelings and almost thought that he had been bouncing up and down for a second in excitment. "So what does that mean?" Draco snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I guess it means.. Let's not like anyone else." He answered. Harry smiled, it wasn't a straight answer but he knew what it meant. It was the two of them, no one else.

"You're really nice when there aren't people around" He whispered and looked down on his own hands on Draco's chest.

"Don't tell anyone." The blond replied cockily and smirked. Harry snorted and shook his head. He let his hands slid up over Draco's chest and rest behind his neck, with that new confidence boast he stood up on his tiptoes and kissed the taller boy on the lips. As expected, Draco leaned down his head and Harry sunk back down on his feet, their lips were still pressed together softly. Harry bit on Draco's lip softly and pulled back. He couldn't believe how natural it all felt now.

"So what now?" The shorter boy asked, seeking for any kind of reassurance. Draco looked like he was thinking for a second.

"Well.." he said letting out a sigh. "Now I'd really want to kiss you again.. After that I have no idea" with that he bent down slightly again and pecked Harry on the lips. "No idea" he muttered again when he straightened up with a small smirk on his lips.

Harry couldn't help but smile, he still couldn't believe anything that had happened lately. It was like in his first year when he and Ron had been fighting against the troll to save Hermione, afterwards there had been like this bond had been created between the three of them. After everything that had happened between Harry and Draco now it was like the same thing, but yet it felt so different.

Their hands were tangled together and hanging in the air on the side. Draco was slightly swaying their arms back and forth and with his other hand he grabbed a hold of Harry's shirt with two fingers and pulled him a half step closer.

"I have to go" the gryffindor said abruptly breaking whatever was happening between them as he remembered his occlumency lesson with Snape. "Meeting with Snape" Terry Boot had gotten a detention on their schedueled lesson so the time had been changed, much to Harry's annoyance since he would have it only twenty minutes after wandless magic.

"Okay" Draco answered and as Harry made to turn around he once again pulled him closer by the shirt he still had a slight grip on with his fingers. He placed a soft kiss on Harry's lips and felt them move against his own softly. "I'll see you later." The gryffindor nodded in respons feeling slightly giddy inside.

_'Later' _Harry thought as he walked down the corridor. When was later? when would they get the chance to see each other again? He couldn't exactly walk up to Draco at breakfast and kiss him in front of everyone. or could he? no he definately couldn't. Whatever _later _meant he hoped it was soon.

The dungeons were as hollow and empty as usual, the only thing that could be heard echoing around the walls could be Harry's small footsteps against the hard stone floor. His mind was racing with thoughts although they seemed covered by a big could that made him feel dazed off. He smiled to himself and reached Snape's office (not because of Snape of course) He knocked three times softly and didn't wait for the door to open but slowly pushed it ajar and peeked through.

Snape was sitting by his desk with his head bent down while he was scribbling on a piece of parchment quickly. Harry stepped in quietly and closed the door behind himself.

"Have a seat" Snape said in a montone voice without looking up. Harry did as he was told and sat down on a dark wooden chair in front of the desk feelings slightly awkward, it didn't help that Snape continued his scribbling for another five minutes without saying anything. When he was finally done, he just let the parchment slide into one of his drawers and looked up on Harry with his dark penetrating eyes.

The gryffindor adverted his eyes from Snape's and chose to look at something disgusting green floating in a jar with white slime on a shelf behind the desk instead.

"Well" the older man finally said, slightly breaking the biased awkwardness hanging in the air. "I hope that you'll finally master occlumency. I'm not going to tolerate it when you don't practise, and I'll know if you have." Harry nodded, feeling rather apathetic. His giddyness had faded more and more since he stepped into the office and now he simply felt nothing.

"Stand up" Snape ordered, maybe not as harsh as he used to but with a tone you couldn't disobey so Harry stood up. The older man towered over him as he came out from behind the desk and pulled out a long, dark wand. Harry couldn't help but feel slight intimidated by that gesture and a slight worry crept through him like a posion running through his veins, piercing his organs, tainting his blood and burning his skin.

"You know what to do" The older man said and raised his wand slowly to prepare Harry. "_Legilimens_" Memories began to flash throught he gryffindors mind before he could even react to the spell, even more stop it.

_He saw a green light burning his eyes untill they were stinging with tears. He heard a woman scream; the last noise that would ever leave her lips. Cold, echoing laughter, ringing through his ears like it was all happening inside his mind, impossible to get away from. _

_He was just a little boy, everything was dark, the only light came from a little gap by the floor. What had happened? he couldn't remember. His head was hurting and something was running from his eyes, it was cold._

_He was older now, this memory was new. A man was falling, his back arched and his hair moving gracefully as the wind got a hold of it, everything was happening in slow-motion. The memory of when Harry for the last time saw his godfather alive and watched disappear behind the veil. _

He was brought back to the real world to a sharp pain in his knees against the hard, cold dungeon floor. He clumsily got up on shaky legs and tried to keep himself from falling down again.

"Close your mind, Potter!" Snape said harshly with his wand hanging down to his side. To Harry's surprise he felt a strong anger washing over him, it was intense enough to make him shake and clench his fists.

"Sir" he growled through clenched teeth and felt his nails digging into the sensitive skin on his palm. "How exactly do you think I should learn anything with vague instuctions as that?" It was spoken with a dangerously calm tone. Harry was really shocked himself, he hadn't felt really angry in a while, it beat feeling scared and helpless though.

"What do you mean, Potter?" Snape questioned coldly and for the first time in a very long time, Harry actually felt some of the old nasty Snape back.

"I'm just saying that maybe it would have been easier for me to learn if you actually gave me some kind of hint how to do it!" Harry snapped back, having a hard time holding back all his anger. "After all, 'Close your mind' doesn't seem to be helping anything." Snape was having the same trouble with controlling his feelings, but since he was an experience wizard in both occlumency and legilimency it didn't have that effect on him.

"Well, it's quite simple if you just listen to it Potter! Close your mind, is it really that hard to understand?" His voice was just as harsh and cold as Harry's and with that he lifted his wand in pure anger and pointed it at the boy, not believing that he could actually resist this attack when the anger was raditating from him. "_Legilimen_s" and of course Harry's mind couldn't refuse him access and he swept into another rain of memories.

_First he saw a pair of cold red eyes that seemed to glimmer in front of him and then disappear. _

_Next was Cedric Diggory's dead body, his eyes were still open, they looked empty and dead. _

_There was another boy, a blond boy with pale skin and eyes that seemed to glow silver. A flash and then two lips were connected, silver and emerald locked._ Snape guessed that it wasn't one of Harry's most horrible memories but one of his most private.

_A huge man towered over him, the alone feeling of being so weak and helpless was overwhelming. Emotions were flooding him, all kinds of them but the most outstanding one was the fear that even outpowered the feeling of agony. _

_It was the same man again, but this memory Snape recognized too. The boy was lying on the bed and the huge man was repedetly striking him with something that looked like a belt. It wasn't the scene he was familiar too but with what came afterwards; the fragile bleeding boy on the bed._

Snape felt a hard blow against his chest and he was pushed back several feet; out of Harry's mind. The boy was still standing on both legs, his head was lowered down so that his hair fell down and covered his face, he was panting heavily.

Snape knew who that man was, it was pretty obvious, he had tortured him himself. He saw Harry's weak legs give in beneath him and the boy fell down hard on the floor, hitting his kneecaps against the hard stone. He frowned slightly, waiting for Harry to get up again, which he didn't.

"Get up, Potter" he said harshly as usual, but the only movement he got from Harry was the slumping of his shoulder and his shaking form. Snape walked over to him and lifted his chin to get eyecontact, to his utter surprise Harry's eyes were shining with unshead tears and he looked so incredibily lost. With the emotions flowing from the boy and his weak state Snape couldn't help but to slip into his minds once again, he saw small flashes of what all seemed to be pain, frustration and confusion. He saw Harry jerk with every flash and pulled out.

"Get up" Snape repeated, grabbed the boy by the arm and lifted him to his feet. He dragged the limp form through the room and sat him down in the chair in front of the desk. Without looking at the boy, Snape opened a cupboard behind his desk and pulled out a phial with the oh so familiar calming draught. He tried to give it to Harry but the boy refused to even look up at it. Grabbing the boy's chin, Snape managed to pull his head up and open the phial. Harry's eyes seemed empty and he didn't stuggle against the hand holding up his chin but he was still shaking slightly, probably in shock.

Snape poured down the potion into the gryffindors mouth and kept his head high so it would slide down in his throat, then he let go and watched the boy fall back against the back of the chair in what seemed like exhaustion. Harry blinked a few times slowly trying to get away the clouds in his mind, he felt like he was about to doze of any second. The energy hit him again all of sudden and he felt as awake as before, just a calm sensation deep inside of him.

He felt Snape's onyx eyes digging into him and look up to meet the dark gaze, he regretted it at once and turned away quickly in shame, why did he have to be so weak? Snape cleared his throat to get the petite gryffindors attention, but the boy refused to even acknowledge him.

"I think it's for the best if we waited with the occlumency." the older man said calmly, completely taking Harry by surprise. "It would be wiser to let you learn how to deal with the memories before you brutally face them like that." Harry felt his heart easen and nodded quickly, earning some respect towards the professor and his act of.. kindness.

"Thank you sir" he whispered, staring at his knees.

"You've tried hiding from the memories" Snape stated just as calmly as before. "and now you've been forced to relive some of them, neither method has worked so far. How about you just talk about them and learn how to deal with them?" Harry knew what he was expected to do, but he really didn't want to talk about them, it meant reliving it all again and that wasn't anything he wanted to do, especially not now.

"I c-c-can't, sir" he said shakily and shook his head desperately. "Not now" Snape felt the urge to push the boy to talk but he knew that it wouldn't make it better to force him, it would just give the boy another taste of how cruel human beings could be towards one another, so instead he nodded patiently in understanding.

* * *

Harry was walking back to the gryffindor tower, his weak legs were still shaking so it was a slow process. Snape hadn't given him another time for occlumency lessons, he had just dismissed him with a hesitant look on his face. Harry was relieved to be going back to the common room, he just wanted to crawl into his bed and forget about everything, hopefully he wouldn't be haunted by another nightmare. 

He sighed, of course he'd have nightmares, he always did, always the same; his uncle towering over him, the hopeless feeling of being so small and.. hopeless, then the pain, the agony would never stop, it would always be there to haunt him. Harry let out a ragged breath, the worst part of all of this was the part of him that had been so harshly stolen, that part that got so excited over the small things, that part that still hoped for a better life, that part that believed that true love would one day find him. He was left with an empty feeling and everything always felt so hopeless now, he had stopped believing, stopped caring.

He reached the fat lady's portrait, muttered the password automatically and stepped inside as it moved aside from the entrace. He was met by the sight of his two best friends sleeping on the couch. Ron was sitting up, leaning backwards against the back of the red couch and his head had falled backwards so it was facing the ceiling. Hermione was curled into a small ball on the other end, her head was lying on the arm rest and one of her arms were hanging down from the couch, touching the floor. As the portrait shut quietly the girl woke up abruptly and cast her eyes at Harry.

"Harry?" He questioned with a voice slurry from sleep and rubbed her tired eyes. It didn't take a second before she had gotten up from the couched, reached the boy, thrown her arms around his neck and was hugging him tightly. Harry surprised her by placing his arms around her and hugging back, he felt Hermione relax in his arms and the hug that had been desperate turned into a comforting one from her side. Harry was taken aback when the pressure against his neck loosened up and instead Hermione pressed her body closer to him, he was embraced with such warmth that it made his eyes well upp.

Hermione sighed and stroke her friends back slowly, she had of course felt his need for comfort when his desperate arms had closed around her and it made her so glad that she didn't shy away from the hug like he usually did, maybe he would accept their help a little bit more. She kissed his cheek and squeezed him tightly once before pulling back to look into his eyes.

"What took you so long?" she asked with a quiet voice gazing into those open emerald eyes, there was something about them, whether he was happy, sad, angry or in despair you could always tell through them, his eyes would always express his emotions so deeply.

Harry frowned, he hadn't realized he had been gone for so long it had actually felt like he left early.

"We were worried" Hermione continued when Harry didn't answer. "Are you okay?" The boy smiled softly at his friend and pulled her inte another small hug, they were about the same height as each other. Harry couldn't talk to Snape about his problem, but he still had his friends, and he still had Draco. At least he thought he did. He would always have Ron and Hermione by his side, he was starting to realize that and he thought that he was finally ready to move on if only they would be by his side.

He looked over at Ron who was still sleeping on the couch and smiled again. As he looked at his friend he knew that this was now, everything that had happened before was the past, it would never happen again no matter how many nightmares he had and that was only dreams, dreams we would live through, deal with and soon forget. Forget. and move on.

Everything that had happened would fade away and become yet another unimportant memory, once he moved on he would be sure to only keep the good things that had happened. The abuse he could leave behind and never look back at, but there's was some things he'd never forget. Draco.

The time with Draco had not just been memories but a new epoch, a turningpoint in his life. He had been introduced to a new friendship, rebuilt trust and even love, that wasn't a thing he would just leave behind. Harry was also sure that this would bring him closer to his friends, they had seen his soul and they were helping him to mend a broken spirit.

_Everything would be okay. He could feel it now. He didn't know how long it'd take, but everything would be okay_


	26. A Party For Two

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: Hey, I just got my first gay bashing review in the last chapter.** All of you narrowminded people out there who has a problem with homosexuals can just piss off! learn the meaning of the word "slash" and go to some stupid Mary-sue fic, okay? **

I'm sorry for taking so long. Everything is so hectic. I'll make it up for you guys, what do you want in the next chapter? something fluffy? dramatic? (even though I am pretty much a drama queen with this story already), violence? more evil slytherin trio? yet ANOTHER break down? Tell me, I'll try to fix it.

Warnings: slash, angst, fluff.

Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters. I only own; Tom Nuit, Damon Vexe, Ethan and Justin Gray. They're pretty much my bitches.

* * *

Chapter twentysix: A Party For Two 

Harry woke up early in the morning with a sloppy grin on his face, maybe it was the fact that he hadn't had a single nightmare or maybe it was because today there was a hogsmeade visit. He rubbed his eyes with his stiff arms and sat up in bed, rolling his tense shoulders slowly. With a tired smile he jumped off the bed so that his bare feet touched the floor. He went over to the window that was covered by red curtains with golden trimming and pulled them apart so that a rather bright light entered the room, not from the dim sun but rather from the sky that had taken a white/light blue tone to it.

He looked out over the grounds and was taken back of how beautiful it looked, the grass was covered as usual with pure white snow that lay like a glittering cover over the ground and it seemed to sparkle every once and awhile when the sun would shine brighter. Small snowflakes fell down from the sky like it always did in the christmas carols, it was all like a beautiful story.

Harry got ready quickly that morning and decided that instead of waking Ron up, he'd go downstairs to the common room and wait. He was met by a rather different sight once he got there, everything was like it used to be with the warm fireplace, the soft red couches and dark wooden tables but now it was decorated with all kinds of halloween things. Big pumpkins with carved out faces were placed around the room on the tables, long orange and black streamers were hanging froom the ceiling and the candles in the room had changed into the classic halloween colors. There were a few seventh year girls sitting at a table but except from that the common room was empty.

Harry sighed and sat down in one of the armchairs, did they have to remind him? Halloween, the day when all the muggle children used to come knocking on the door at the Dursley's asking for candy. Harry would always hear their knocking from under the stairs, the small cupboard door was thin and the little open trap that worked as his source of light would also let the noise in. The usual knocking was always followed by thundering steps coming from above him, someone was hurrying down the stairs.

Harry would slowly open his cupboard door if he was lucky enough to find it unlocked, he would peek out curiously as uncle Vernon opened the front door. There would always be children there, dressed into all kinds of things; ghosts with big white sheets hanging over their head with small cut out holes for their eyes, witches with big hats and fake noses, princesses in pretty dresses, some had wings on their back.

One time there had been a red haired little boy there, he had been wearing a black mask around his eyes and a red cape that blew around in the cold october wind. He had held out a small, black plastic cauldron and said the magical words "Trick or treat". Then his eyes, brown eyes, had shifted to where Harry was peeking from and he had smiled brightly. Vernon had seen what the boy was looking at and noticed Harry. From then on the cupboard always stayed locked during halloween.

Halloween had always struck him as a sad day, a dark day with ghosts, demons and ghouls. The night of the dead, so why were little children running around and asking for candy? Harry sighed, it really didn't make sense to him why people looked forward to it, it was a depressing day. But on the other hand, would he have looked forward to it if his parents hadn't died on this day and he had been one of those children running around in costumes?

_It all depends of what you make of it _he thought with a determination to at least _try _to have fun today. He turned around at the sounds of footsteps coming from the stairs behind him and saw Hermione making her way down to him, he was impressed by the fact that she didn't look tired at all. She smiled when she saw him and sat down on the couch next to his armchair.

"Good morning" she said brightly and recieved a soft hum from Harry as his answer. "Are you going to the party?" she asked uncertainly, not knowing if Harry was in a short mood or simply tired. The shorter boy raised an eyebrow in question.

"What party?" he asked softly feeling slightly left out, whenever one of Dudley's friends hadn't heard of a party it meant that they weren't invited.

"The halloween party" Hermione replied sounding slightly shocked, at Harry's questioning look she tilted her head towards the notice board hanging on the stone wall. Harry stood up and walked over to it, his eyes were caught by a blinding orange paper with black letters that stood out so much he wondered how he could've missed it.

_HALLOWEEN COSTUME PARTY IN HOGSMEADE _

_All students of hogwarts over the age of 15 are invited to a halloween party.  
Costumes are required for entrance . 31th of October, 19.00 p.m_

_B.Y.O.B_

Under it there was an address and a short description on how to find it. Harry thought about it, a lot of people would probably go just so that they didn't have to spend their halloween in the common room as usual. The halloween dinner in the great hall would start at 18.00 p.m as usual so they could just go to hogsmeade after that.

"B.Y.O.B?" Harry asked out loud and frowned at the four letters but stopped to rub his eyes - the orange color was really annoying to look at.

"Bring your own booze." Hermione piped up causing Harry to turn around and raise an eyebrow. "According to Seamus" she added and looked down on the floor. Harry snorted and went back the armchair, which he slumped back down onto heavily.

"I guess it could be fun" He muttered playing with a loose thread from the armchair and sighing softly. "As long as it won't be crowded with a bunch of mean drunks." He really wasn't sure if he'd be able to deal with being surrounded by a bunch of out of control people.

"I wouldn't worry about it" Hermione said quickly eager to get Harry along. "I think most people who'll have the need to drink alcohol will be smart enough not to get drunk, I mean if one of the teachers found out that a student had been drinking there would be hell to pay." Harry nodded but didn't say anything for a while, not before something hit him.

"Do we even have costumes?" He inquired, hoping that he wouldn't have missed something again. Hermione smiled at him and looked like she was thinking for a second. "I mean, no one has mentioned this before now, right?"

"I'm sure we could come up with something." She answered and turned her head towards the stairs as the distant sounds of footsteps was heard coming from behind them. Ron had woken up now too as was looking like he had been hit by a train; his hair was a mess, his eyes were barely open and he was swaying slightly.

"Good morning, Ron" Hermione chirped and got back a grunt in respons. She snorted and rolled her eyes. "Late night?" She asked teasingly as the redhead sat down on the couch next to her. He glared weakly through his dazed eyes and muttered something that obviously Hermione heard since she started laughing quietly. Harry forced a smile at the sight of the two of them, these were the kind of moments that made him feel like such an outsider, why couldn't he just be one of them? Maybe he just wasn't trying too hard, maybe it was his fault for not making an effort.

"Hey Ron--" Harry started quietly, he was about to ask about the party when he was interrupted by the redhead's voice drowning his own.

"Should we go to breakfast now? I'm starving." Was his question. Harry shut down at once feeling his face heat up and insecurity growing. He looked away in embarrassment afraid that they'd see his red face or the hurt glazed over look in his eyes.

"Sure" he heard Hermione's voice pipe up and the two stood up to make their way out of the portrait hole. Harry did the same thing and followed them quickly, wondering quietly if they had even stopped to look back if he had ju stayed there.

* * *

The halloween feast in the great hall came faster than Harry had expected, he hadn't really done anything all day and usually those times felt longer. He had spent most of the day in the common room with Ron and Hermione, playing chess and just being there when Hermione helped Ron with his homework. The only time they had really left the common room was when they went to breakfast and lunch and now they were once again seated at the gryffindor table in the great hall. 

All of the five tables in the big room was filled with food and decorations in different colors. Harry stared at some of the decorations that had fallen into a bowl of orange colored punch and was floating by the surface. He looked down on his almost empty plate, not empty because he had eaten most of it but because there hadn't been much there to start with. He picked with his fork on a small sausage and stabbed through it with the piece of metal. He lifted the piece of meat to his nose and smelled it with a slightly disgusted look on his face, the greasy smell made him feel sick to his stomach.

He pulled away the fork from his face and scrunched up his nose. Knowing he had to eat, he took a small bite from the skin and chewed it slowly trying to figure out how bad it tasted. Swallowing the small piece of meat he took another bigger bite and started chewing. As soon as his teeth pierced through the meat he felt sick to his stomach, it was soft with what felt like small pieces of tough meat. He let go of the fork and covered his mouth as he almost gagged, he chewed the meat viciously trying to get it down but it only resulted in a rubbery mess in his mouth.

He swallowed it desperately, knowing it was too much for his throat but feeling that otherwise he would've thrown it up. He could slowly feel the mess running down his throat untill it finally went through. His throat was aching slightly because of the rather too big piece he had just swallowed and the taste was still lingering in his mouth. With a disgusted grimace he picked up a cup of pumpkin juice and drained it in one swift motion. He felt the liquid stir his empty stomach and started to feel slightly sick.

He took a few calming breaths to steady himself and saw Hermione give him a look that he couldn't translate. His mind would've told him concern but something else was saying annoyance and disgust. Starting to feel really self conscious, Harry wondered how much attention he had drawn to himself, how loud he had breathed and how many who had noticed.

He felt his skin itch in anger and disgust with himself, the feelings went from his chest and down to his limbs. He scratched his left hand automatically and noticed that the feeling only grew. With a little more force he scratched his skin untill it was raw and irritated. As the feeling spread up his arm he continued to tear at his skin, his wrist and slightly higher up the arm (he couldn't reach too far because of the clothing).

The feeling didn't cease but increased even more which made Harry feel tearfully angry like a little child did before throwing a tantrum. He felt the angry lump of tears in his throat and swallowed harshly. He blinked a few quick times which caused a few tears to cloud up his vision. Rubbing his eyes quickly - not even thinking of the unusual feeling without glasses - he then continued to scratch on his arms furiously, trying hard to repress a cry of anger, frustration and desperation. With anger, sadness and that pricking feeling he sank his nails deep through the tender skin of his arm and flinched in surprising pain as a small wound was torn open on his wrist. It wasn't deep enough to draw blood but you could tell that it was just beneath the surface.

Feeling all his emotions draw back deep into himself because of the surprise he slowly let a pale finger trail over his pink and raw skin, pulling back slightly at a sharp sting.

_'Why can't I get better?' _a voice inside his head whispered desperately.

"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione asked with concern, seeing the despair in his eyes. Just like usual, Harry nodded and looked down on his plate as if the subject had been dropped just like that. Hermione _was _a smart witch, she _did _know that he was lying. She had just never been able to take the step after simply asking Harry how he felt. What was there to do next? She of all people knew what it was like to feel really hopeless.

* * *

Back in the common room Harry stared nervously at Hermione and Ron who were discussing options for comstumes to the party. Hermione was trying to encourage Ron to wear something fun while the redhead simply wanted to get the most subtle thing he could, enough to not draw attention but enough to actually get it. They had given up looking for something they had in their trunk and decided to just let Hermione transform regular clothes into something more appropriate. 

Harry had started to feel really stressed as the part got closer, he had started to have second thoughts. Was is good for him to force himself to be around people when he really didn't want to. He certainly didn't think so. Judging by his feelings right now, he defiantely wouldn't be able to deal with so many people at once.

"Harry. Help me out" Hermione cried and threw her hands up in the air. "Tell Ronald that the whole part of Halloween is to dress up like you never do usually and have fun." Harry stared at her and blinked, was this Hermione who wanted to go crazy (in her own way) for one night. He cleared his throat and met her gaze.

"I thought this was the night to holy the dead" He said quietly, not breaking eye contact with her. He could tell he hit a nerve as Hermione opened her mouth and quickly shut it again. With that Harry stood up and went up to the boys' dormitory, feeling slightly bad for making Hermione feel quilty but yet relieved that he got an excuse to leave.

It didn't take long after Harry had thrown himself down on his bed before the door behind him opened once again. Expecting to see Hermione peek though the door he was shocked to see a head of flaming red hair. Ron sighed, closed the door silently and sat down on the foot of Harry's bed.

"She's just trying to help, you know" Ron said softly, looking as awkward as Harry felt. "You should give her a break, didn't you notice how hard she was trying to make you feel normal again?" There was something about the use of 'normal' that ticked Harry off.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he snapped, the familiar feeling of anger reaching his surface. " 'Feel normal'? What is normal? How do I feel then?!" Ron looked away in shame, knowing that he had said that wrong thing. "No!" Harry continued. "Don't ignore me! Tell me how the _hell _I feel! Please explain to me, cause I for sure, HAVE NO IDEA!"

"Harry, mate." Ron mumbled, his face and ears as red as his hair. "I know this is hard for yo--" Harry lifted a finger to silence him harshly.

"Shut up" he hissed, venom dripping off his voice. "Don't you _dare _pretend that you have any idea at all of how I feel. Cause you don't!. You have NO idea of what goes through my head." Harry pale face had turned into a light pink tone because of the anger, his eyes were flashing dangerously and his fists were clenched tightly. He had to admit that it felt good to get it out, he didn't feel weak. He felt like he was in control of his feelings.

"I'm sorry" Ron said sincerely. "Of course I have no idea. It's just frustrating for her- for me too. We don't really know how to act or do." He finished lamely. Harry scoffed and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"What?" He asked sarcastically. "Can't Ron and Hermione do anything on their own? Do I need to give you bloody instructions how to act around me?! Fine; Stay. Away!" He stood up and made to leave but Ron grapped his wrist and held him back. A flash of panic went through the smaller boy as he jerked away quickly. The panic disappeared quickly and the anger came back in full force. "Don't touch me."

"Harry, that's not what I meant!" Ron cried desperately. "We wants what's best for you, we want you to be happy." Harry scoffed again, this time sadly. He turned around and looked Ron in the eyes and the redhead was taken aback by the raw emotions in them.

"No you don't." The raven haired but whispered, his voice cracking slightly. "You just want me to stop being a burden to you, if I'm happy you won't need to think about me at all, you can just go back and deal with your lives. Whenever I'm content.. I don't bother you with my stupid issues."

"No Harry, that's not true" Ron put in quickly. "We're your best friends and we want things to back to how it used to be." He looked down on the floor and dragged his feet over he soft carpet underneath.

"And how's that?" Harry asked in the same sad voice, turning around to face the other boy. "The way it used to be when _I_ was the one who was saving everyone else?" To Ron's surprise a single tear rolled down Harry's cheek. "Maybe I need to get help sometimes, but when I have a breakdown.. My best friends don't know how to 'handle' me."

When Ron didn't say anything, Harry continued. "I'm not going to the party. I'll see you afterwards." By the tone of his voice, there left no room for arguing. Ron nodded in defeat and left the room. Hary sighed and fell back onto the bed, feeling his tired eyes burn of tears. His heart was heavy, his body was tired and there was no way he could keep his eyelids up. As they fell down to cover his eyes and as his long eyelashes rested upon his cheek, another trail of tears slowly left him. One from each eye, two glittering tears representing lost trust for two best friends.

* * *

Maybe he had been too harsh. Maybe he was just being sensitive again, had he been wrong? Harry sighed and fell back upon his bed. He had refused to go to the halloween party, it hadn't taken him a lot to turn down Ron and Hermione. He told them off once and they knew that he wasn't going to change his mind, they didn't want to push it. 

Harry started as he felt something soft and cool rub against his bare hand. He looked down and something white caught his gaze. Icicle. He had forgotten all about the little snake, the fact that she was still around surprised him.

_"Icicle" _he hissed and the snake turned her head up towards him. Her silver eyes penetrated through him. "_What are you doing?" _The snake slowly slithered up his arms and remained steady as Harry pushed himself up on his elbows.

"_I'm hungry" _she hissed back, her long tongue flicking the air. Harry blinked at her. It had felt like ages ago he had taken her to the kitchen for some food, she must have eaten since then right?

"_What do you do when you're hungry?" _he asked not exactly knowing how to ask if he had been starving the snake or not. Icicle rested on his clothed chest and held her head up high, moving it slightly from side to side as if she was trying to put him in some kind of trance.

"_I go out to catch myself something to eat." _she replied. Harry felt somewhat relieved that she had been able to get herself something to eat on her own, but something worried him.

_"Do you often get seen by other humans?" _he inquired, not really knowing if he wanted to know the answer. He felt relieved once again as the snake shook her head. Or was she simply moving again?

"_No" _she hissed lowly. _"I know how to keep from getting sighted" _Harry nodded and started to get tired of his position on his elbows and once again lay back on the back. Icicle remained on his chest but her head was now also resting on him. Harry sighed, feeling his chest heaving under the snake's body. He suddenly felt really lonely. Should he have gone with Ron and Hermione? No. He had made the right decision.

He knew that if he had gone to the party he would've regretted it sooner or later, probably sooner. When he was lonely he wanted company, it kept him from thinking about things he wanted to forget. But when he was surrounded by his friends he felt somewhat bare and crowded, like they could read his mind and were judging him. But they didn't do that right? They wanted him to be happy. That was what Ron had been trying to tell him.

Ron. Harry closed his eyes as a small headache crept up on him. Why had he gone so mental? Ron was just being nice. As he kept telling himself that, Harry couldn't help but wonder if there was some hidden motive behind his friend's actions. Was he really just trying to cheer Harry up to make himself feel better? The raven haired boy suddenly felt quilty, how could he think so lowly on his friends? Of course they weren't that selfish.

Not feeling like staying up in the dormitory all night, Harry carefully lifted Icicle off his chest and stood up. He was about to put her down on the bed when she instead curled around his wrist and stayed put. Harry shrugged and made sure that she was somewhat covered by his light robes. He then walked down to the common room and out the portrait hole. He didn't know exactly where to go so he let his feet decide for him.

After about fifteen minutes of walking he found himself close to the owlery. Not having anything to do there he turned around and a thought hit him. He did a sharp turn and instead of going higher up in the castle he worked himself lower. He reached the dungeons and tried to remember the way to the slytherin common room from his second year. He walked around for a few minutes, surprised of how hard it was to find. The dungeons looked the same and he realized that it could probably have been any of the walls that he had passed.

Suddenly he heard voices, male voices coming his way. He could make out the deep harsh tone to belong to no one else but seventh year slytherin Damon Vexe. Feeling his chance come up, Harry backed up against the cold stone wall behind him and disappeared in the dark shadows.

The dark figures walked past him with long steps, their steps echoing in the empty dungones. Harry knew that there were no way he could follow them without making himself heard. He turned to the snake still around his wrist and hissed lowly.

"_Could you follow those humans?" _The snake didn't give him an answer but instead started to move down his hand. Harry bent down closer to the floor and Icicle slithered down to the ground, following the three boys. The gryffindor could've sworn he saw Ethan turn around and look in his direction for a second before disappearing around the corner.

Harry waited for ten minutes and wondered if Icicle was ever coming back. Just when he was about to go after and look for her he saw her pearl white body appear around the corner.

"_I couldn't follow them any longer" _she hissed as she made her way over to him. _"Those humans disappeared behind a wall" _Harry was estatic and smiled brightly at the small animal.

"_Could you show the way?" _he asked. Once again there was no answer from Icicle before she slithered away, she didn't see it as a question, she simply followed orders. They continued deeper into the dungeons, how long it took Harry didn't know but Icicle soon stopped in front of a dark stone wall and gestured with her head towards it.

"_It's here" _she hissed _"I'm sure of it." _Harry nodded in gratitude but not feeling as excited anymore, he didn't even know how to get in; he didn't know the password. That wasn't the least of his problems though, it's not like he could just walk into the slytherin common room. He frowned at the wall and his eyes widened as is shook a little bit. He quickly walked around the corner and pressed himself against the wall once again.

The wall opened quietly. Harry looked around the corner and saw two girls exiciting, the wall shut behind them. Icicle had followed Harry and was lying at his feet looking up at him. Feeling a little bad that he was going to use his snake once again, Harry bent down and hissed softly.

"_Once the wall opens, go inside and look for the boy from the library with light blonde hair. Get his attention and come back out." _There was no point to beat around the bush, Icicle didn't refuse his so called orders. They waited for an unknown amount of time for someone else to leave the slytherin common room. Harry was now seated on the floor and leaning backwards against the wall.

He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair, he was starting to get nervous. Maybe Draco wasn't even there, maybe he was at the halloween party in hogsmeade or somewhere else. Would anyone ever come out? maybe everyone was out celebrating halloween and all the waiting was for nothing. At least he knew that Damon, Justin and Ethan were in the common room.

After some more minutes of waiting the wall slowly openend. Icicle was prepared and quickly slithered through. Harry saw the wall close behind her and a young boy with brown hair walked in his direction. Before he could move an inch the boy had rounded the corner and almost tripped over him. The young slytherin boy gapsed with his eyes wide and hurried off.

Harry sighed in relief that it hadn't been one of the nastier slytherins and impatiently started scraping his foot over the cold floor.

* * *

"Well if it isn't Malfoy." Draco looked up feeling his patience already slipping by just the sound of that annoying harsh tone. Turning his attention back to the book in his hands he sighed softly. 

"Vexe." He said shortly. He could feel the anger that started radiating off the boy and almost scoffed at the pathetic weak walls around his mind. No surprise that Damon Vexe had no experience of occlumency. He was one of the shameful slytherins that were looked down upon. Most of the slytherins were purebloods with long lines of families with prestige. Damon was in this house for only one reason; his sadistic and evil behavior. He would've been targetted as one of the lowlives if it hadn't been because of the fact that most of the slytherins were afraid of him.

"Don't use that arrogant tone with me _Malfoy" _The angry boy spat out his voice dripping with venom. Draco snapped his head up and stared at Damon with pure hatred and disgust.

"Don't try to tell me what to do, Vexe. Never forget that I'm your superior" He shot back and smirked in satisfaction as he felt Damon's anger getting stronger. He glanced at the two boys at each side of the tall seventh year. Justin Gray; the biggest coward of the three. Justin was a far away kindred to some dead slytherin that was somewhat famous a long time ago. The money that this family owned had been passed onto them from his time and had gone through generations of Gray's, getting smaller and smaller.

Ethan came from a long line full of proud death eaters, no doubt proud; that was the only thing they'd ever be good for. His family didn't have a lot of money, his father was a drunk with debts over his head. His mother, divorced from the father, did the best she could to associate with rich men - without luck, they all saw how little she was worth. They had been too cowardly to take the dark mark and had ended up stuck between the light and the dark side. Draco had no doubt that Ethan would one day make his parents proud and become one of the dark lord's servants.

"You arrogant piece of filth!" Damon hissed with his teeth clenched together. "Maybe I need to teach you a little lesson." He smirked as if to prove his point and gestured at his pocket where you could clearly see a dark wand sticking out. This time Draco _did _scoff at him, not only was Damon a disgrace to the name of slytherin, he was also a disgrace to all that is magic; all muscle, no brain.

Draco was just about to retort when he felt a small presence in the room and stopped to look around. Mistaking this for insecurity Damon laughed out loud, his harsh and raw laughter making Draco's blood boil.

"Don't have your bodyguards around Malfoy? not so much without them, huh?" He mocked and his smirk spread across his evil face. Ethan let out high laugh and started to hiss in laughter to himself. Draco rolled his eyes in disgust.

"I wouldn't talk if I were you, but on the other hand these pathetic excuses for humans couldn't exactly count as bodyguards due to the fact that they're complete cowards." He said angrily and felt a wave of satisfaction at another flash of anger in Damon's dark green eyes. Ethan looked up quickly, his hissing laughter sileneced at once and he was glaring from under his dark bangs that partly covered his eyes.

Draco felt the small prescence around them getting closer and once again scanned around the room quickly. He heard a faint hiss and his gaze turned down at the floor behind the slythering trio where a small white snake with silver eyes were slithering over the hard surface. Damon, Justin and Ethan had seen it too and watched as the snake looked up at Draco and flickered it's tongue into the air. Draco stared back into the cold eyes, unable to look away but he didn't have to since the snake was the first one to break eyecontact. The slytherin didn't have to try to remember where he had seen that snake before, you didn't forget an animal like that. It was the snake that had been around Harry in the library that time.

His thoughts were interrupted as a loud thump was heard. Damon had stomped his foot into the floor with so much force he could muster and was cursing now to himself as the snake he had been trying to hit slithered away quickly.

"That snake has been slithering around in the corridors, I heard it in the dungeons." Ethan rasped out fixing his eyes on Damon who turned around towards him.

"Disgusting thing." he growled under his breath and stomped his foot into the ground one more time, this time just to get out some frustration. They weren't at all paying attention to Draco anymore who stared after the snake that had slithered towards the entrance to the common room. He walked past the three seventh years and when he got closer he could see the white snake in front of the closed stone wall. He opened it to let it out but was slightly taken aback when the snake looked back and stared at him for a second before continuing over the hard floor and out into the corridors.

Feeling his feet take over, Draco followed the beautiful creature out to the dark dungeons but stopped as he felt another stronger prescence nearby. He heard a small sound coming from around the corner and quietly yet quickly made his way over there. He was surprised to find a small gryffindor boy with black hair seated on the hard floor and dragging his one foot over the cold surface of it. The boy looked up as the shadow loomed over him and his emerald eyes turned from a look of concern to relief within a second.

"Hey." He said somewhat breathlessly, not at all as he planned for it to come out. Harry looked away feeling rather stupid.

"Hello." Draco answered in a slight daze of the shock that hadn't left him yet. "What are you doing here?" Harry stared back up at him again and opened his mouth once. twice. He blushed and tried to find words, what _was _he doing there? He hadn't thought about what to say at all, the thought to visit Draco had just entered his mind and he hadn't thought much about it.

"I-I-I don't know." he finally got out, feeling more nervous than ever. What did Draco think of him just appearing like this? Were they even in that stage yet when they were comfortable enough to just visit each other to hang out? '_yes' _Harry thought quickly, they had kissed each other, so they must be. "I just felt lonely" He added quickly after feeling the need to elaborate his answer.

"I see." Draco answered simply and looked around the dark corridors. "Shall we go somewhere else?" Harry nodded eagerly, feeling slightly more confident as Draco didn't reject him at once. The blond boy held out a hand for Harry to take - to the gryffindor's surprise of course. He was pulled to his feet and shook his head to clear his head, with all that happened he really shouldn't be able to get surprise anymore.

Draco kept his hand around Harry's and pulled the smaller boy gently through the corridors. He walked quickly, scanning around every once and awhile, Harry had to jog in order to keep up. They reached a big portrait of a big castle covered by dark shadows in the more secluded part of the dungeons and Draco muttered a password for it to open, he then pulled Harry through the opening. There was a big room with a big black couch in the center and a large fireplace in front of it. Next to the couch there was one matching armchair and a little behind it there was shelves with books of all kinds. There was of course no windows so the light was dim and Harry thought it looked kind of cozy. There was two doors on the other side of the room, where those went he had no idea. Draco lead him over to the couch and they both sat down.

"Why did you come to find me?" Draco asked with a small smirk, knowing exactly what kind of effect it had on Harry. Said boy was trying his best to hide his flushed face under his long bangs.

"I don't know." Harry repeated his words from before a little more steady this time. "I felt lonely and.." He stopped for a second and his cheeks turned pink. "I-I wanted to see you." Draco lifted a hand and trailed two fingers along Harry's cheekbone slowly causing the smaller boy to shiver slightly.

"Why aren't you spending time with Weasley and Granger?" The blond boy asked not letting his fingers leave the gryffindor's face, they were getting closer to his lips and Draco felt the skin twitch beneath his fingers.

"We had a fight." Harry said feeling at ease to talk to Draco but nervous about the soft fingers on his skin. "I guess I overreacted a bit and lashed out on them. They're at a halloween party in hogsmeade, most of the gryffindors are" He finished feeling a little sting in his heart as he said the last thing. To his surprise Draco scoffed and let his hand fall to the couch.

"I've heard of the party." He drawled. "It's rather pathetic how some people have nothing better to do so they jump to any chance they get to run away from their boring lives for one day. Everyone has been talking about it like it's some kind of big deal, except the slytherins of course." Harry felt somewhat better now, okay he wasn't having fun with the rest of his friends but he wasn't an complete outcast for not going.

"You slytherins have better things to do?" Harry asked curiously feeling once again completely comfortable in Draco's prescence.

"No." was the reply he got. "but we don't need lame parties with hufflepuffs to entertain us."

"No that's true." Harry agreed nodding his head. "You guys can entertain yourself by scaring little children." He grinned at the blond boy who stared at him for half a second before letting out a soft laugh.

"Damn straight." he muttered and smiled. Harry grinned back, feeling extremely proud of himself for making Draco smile. The look in the slytherin's eyes changed quickly and Harry found himself unable to look away from those silver orbs.

"Do you want to talk about what your friends did to upset you?" Draco whispered and leaned closer to Harry's face. Said gryffindor was breathing deeply and staring as if in trance at the boy in front of him. He could feel Draco's breath against his lips and smell the no doubt expensive colonge. He shook his head slightly, not wanting to disturb the moment that had set between the two boys.

The slytherin smirked and captured Harry's lips with his. Pure ecstasy ran through the two of them as their lips caressed each others gently. Draco bit down on Harry's lower lip and pushed in his tongue, tasting every single part of the smaller boy's warm mouth. As response Harry moaned quietly and was pulled so that he was sitting in Draco's lap and was tightly pressed against the impressingly hard chest. Strong arms were wrapped around his waist, trying to press him as close as human possible. Harry secured his arms around the taller boy's neck and the kiss got more intense. Their tongues were driven by pure hormone lust, eager to taste as much as possible from the other. Whenever Draco, being the more experienced one, would use his teeth to nibble on Harry's lip, the smaller boy would moan out loud and shudder against the strong chest, sending trails of pleasure through them both.

When the lack of air was starting to make the both of them dizzy, they pulled back. Draco hungrily drank in the sight of the boy in his lap. Harry's eyes were still fluttered shut, his long eyelashes resting against his soft cheek. His usually pale skin was flushed with a tinge of pink and his lips had gotten swollen and red. His breath was deep and slow sometimes coming out ragged as if trying to regain his control. Feeling his desire deepen, Draco pulled away one of his arms that had been wrapped around Harry's waist and instead used it to unclasp the black robes. As the dark material came off and fell to the floor Draco continued to loosen up the red and gold tie with his nimble fingers. When the piece of clothing was only barely hanging around Harry's neck Draco worked to unbutton the white shirt just enough to give him more access to the soft skin around Harry's neck and shoulders.

The gryffindor boy who had waited nervously as he felt himself getting undressed let out a small whimper as he suddenly felt Draco's teeth working his earlobe tenderly. The warm tongue against his sensitive skin and the hot breathing against his ear made the experience so much more wonderful and Harry felt himself getting warmer in his thin clothing. The hot mouth worked itself down and a wet tongue trailed down his jaw, stopping to leave a bite every now and then. The mouth stopped as it reached Harry's adam's apple and started to suck on the sensitive skin of his throat softly, earning another delicious moan from the boy. Harry arched his neck and bit down on his lower lip to stop himself from groaning in pleasure.

Suddenly the hot mouth left his skin, causing Harry to open his eyes and whimper at the loss but he got tense in anticipation as he felt the hot breathing hovering over the skin between his neck and shoulder. His shirt was pushed down further down his shoulder in order to expose more naked skin. Finally Draco's mouth was attached to him again, this time sucking, biting and licking on his neck. Harry let out groan, his eyes fluttered shut and he tilted his head to the side to give the slytherin more access to his neck. He felt the teeth tearing at his skin almost painfully but as a gentle tongue swept over the raw spot all he could feel was pleasure.

Harry had now completely melted in Draco's arms and he was supported by the slytherin's strong chest. He felt a hand slide up his spine, sending shivers through his body, then up his neck and finally tangled itself into his black hair. Harry's legs, which were at either side of Draco's legs, felt like jelly and he was sure that he wouldn't have been able to support himself if he tried. He felt Draco pull back from his neck and slowly opened his eyes to see the slytherin staring hungrily at the certain spot on his neck. Curiously, Harry turned his head to get a look and gasped at the sight of a red and purple tinged mark innocentely standing out on his pale skin.

"Mine." Draco whispered with a hint of a growl in his voice. He changed their positions, lifting Harry up slightly and without their bodies breaking apart he lay the gryffindor down on the couch while keeping his position between the slim legs. The feelings suddenly changed, they got deeper and were foreign to Harry. The feeling of Draco's clothed legs rubbing against his inner thighs sent pleasant shivers through his body, feelings like nothing Harry had ever experienced before. It made his blood pump faster, his mind cloud up. It was an exciting feeling, exciting but ever so overwhelming.

Draco pushed his weight into the smaller body beneath him succesfully pushing him deeper into the black couch. Harry sighed blissfully and desperately wanted something more. The exciting feeling pumping through his body, growing stronger by the second. It was almost so overwhelming it was scary, but the bigger part of him enjoyed the excitment and wanted to push it further. When Draco's lips once again fell upon his own, it was the best kiss they ever shared. All the emotions drifted into one and had Harry shaking beneath the taller boy. He wanted to wrap his legs and arms around the slytherin and pull him tightly against himself, but they couldn't seem to get any closer than this.

Draco let his hand trail under Harry's shirt and rubbed the flat stomach gently, not breaking their kiss. The touch was soft like feathers and it gave Harry goosebumps. It felt even more thrilling as the hand wandered up the gryffindor's torso and reached the area around his nipples. The overwhelming excitement took over and Harry almost pushed the taller boy off, instead he found himself incapable of moving, his mind was encouraging him to let it go further.

As Draco's nimble fingers began to caress one of Harry's nipples, the gryffindor gasped into the kiss and bucked upwards into the touch without having any control of his body. To his surprise and delight he felt Draco pushing back into him so that they were griding into each other slowly. Harry's nipple hardened to the point when it was almost painful having his shirt sliding over it. Draco pulled back from the kiss, breathing heavily against Harry's lips as he began to move his hips back and forth against the boy beneath him.

Harry let out a gasp between his swollen red lips and groaned as the feeling of Draco's legs rubbing against his inner thighs started to make him dizzy of excitement. When he felt something hard pressed against his thigh and he heard Draco moan above him as it was pressed harder against him, reality hit Harry.

"Stop." he muttered and pushed against Draco's chest. "Draco." The taller boy looked at him through dazed eyes and without thinking about it continued to grind into the boy beneath him. Harry's eyes rolled back into his head and he moaned loudly as he felt Draco's hardness cause an amazing friction against his own parts. He had never felt anything like it before.

"Draco, wait." He breathed out and groaned in disappointment as the boy stopped moving. "I think we're going a little too fast." he said, biting his lower lip nervously, not feeling at all as daring as he had done only seconds ago. Draco nodded, clearly disappointed, and pushed himself up in a sitting position on the couch. Harry quickly closed his open legs and blushed, sitting up too.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, glancing at Draco's profile and looking down on his feet, sensing that the slytherin was angry with him. The blonde pulled Harry tightly to his side and nuzzled against his neck.

"It's okay" he whispered against the sensitive skin, breathing deeply on the showing mark. He looked up and smirked lazily. "I had a good time." he drawled and raised an eyebrow, in a tone and a way that made Harry blush.

"Me too." the gryffindor muttered and sobconsciously pulled some short hair behind his ear. He started wondering if Ron and Hermione would come back from hogsmeade soon and thought that it would be best if he went back to the common room before they got there.

"I should go." he said lowly and stood up. Draco did the same, nodding in understanding.

"What is this place anyway?" Harry asked as they made it out of the room. Draco smirked and his silver eyes twinkled in amusement.

"Professor Snape's private rooms." He replied and his smirk got bigger as Harry's emerald eyes widened. "I of course know the password due to the fact that my godfather insists that I come to him whenever in doubt." Harry nodded feeling his heart ache, he wished he had a caring godfather too. After a few minutes of silence, Draco suddenly stopped. Harry stared at him for a second, silently asking why they had stopped.

"That way leads out of the dungeons" The slytherin said and nodded his head towards a dark corridor with an amused smirk on his face.

"Oh." Harry muttered, trying hard to keep the blush from his face. "I'll see you around then." the gryffindor looked around and then stood up on his tiptoes to peck Draco quickly on the lips before stalking off through the dark hallway.

* * *

Damon cursed loudly, hearing his voice echo through the empty corridors. Swiftly he turned around a corner and stopped his pacing. He slammed his fists into the hard stone wall and growled in anger. No one ever got the best of him, he would always make sure of that. He tensed up suddenly and focused on his hearing, oh yes he had heard it. He leaned back against the wall with an evil smirk covering his chapped lips.

Closer. Closer. He listened carefully and finally felt his moment come up. With all his might, he raised his foot up in the air and forcefully smashed it down onto the ground, succesfully hearing a sickening crunch beneath his weight. He felt soft bones crush under his foot and smirked in satisfaction.

He looked down on the white, dead, form that had been litterly smeared across the cold floor. The red blood seemed to be tainting the pure white shell of the non-living creature in an almost beautiful kind of way. Beautiful to some people. With a disgusted look, Damon dragged his foot over the floor to scrape of remainings of bones, skin and blood from his shoe.

He stared at the dead snake as if in trance and let out a mocking laughter. The control he had right now felt amazing, control was power, power was everything. If you didn't have control, you didn't have anything. With one last satisfied smirk, Damon continued his way down the corridor feeling a lot more secure than he had earlier. No one ever got the best of Damon Vexe, he would always make sure of that.


	27. Calm Before The Storm

**- In The Dark -**

Authoress Ramble: I've thought through the rest of the story over and over, I've added new ideas and given up on some. Now I have the ending of the story all thought out and with my plans written down, I'm hoping that the next chapters won't take long to write. Personally I don't like some parts of THIS chapter, I feel like it's only filling out and I hate that, I'm building up for the ending. The story is starting to round up.

I know some people won't like the ending, so I apologize in beforehand if you don't.

Question for the readers: Damon's intrest in Harry? sexual or simply pure sadistic violence?

Warnings: Slash, fluff, angst. bla bla. Do I really have to keep warning you guys? I know you love it.

Disclaimer: I don't own HarryP.

* * *

Chapter twentyseven: Calm Before The Storm 

Draco smiled to himself and shook his head slightly as he watched Harry make his way down the dark corridor and then disappear behind a corner. He started walking down the other corridor leading back to the slytherin common room. He was deep into thoughts about earlier actions of the day when he stopped suddenly. An uneasy feeling had crept upon him and was surging through his veins, causing him to shudder. He took a few steps and the feeling got stronger, the smell of blood now invaded him. As the overwhelming feeling and the smell of blood made him grimace slightly, he noticed something on the floor.

With a closer look he saw a small white form that was covered in dark red blood lying upon the floor. The white skin seemed to almost sparkle in a mocking way and mixed with the dark blood it sent him a rather morbid sensation. If it hadn't been for the fact that he had seen the snake earlier, he wouldn't have known what it was. He didn't doubt the fact that this was indeed Harry's snake Icicle and neither did he doubt that the person responsible for this was no one else but Damon Vexe.

With a disgusted look on his face at the thought of the other boy, Draco pulled out his wand and with a wave and some soft words the mess on the floor disappeared. He sighed and continued to make his way to the common room, the air felt a lot fresher now with the snake gone. He guessed that he would have to be the one to tell Harry, he couldn't just pretend he hadn't seen anything, not now. Not when he had already made the snake disappear, it wasn't like Harry could find it himself.

Reaching the entrance to the common room, Draco muttered the password and entered through the now open wall. Without even casting a glance around in the room, Draco moved towards the stairs leading to the boy's dormitory when a cold voice stopped him.

"Where have you been?" Draco knew who that voice belonged to without turning around, so he didn't bother to do so.

"That is none of your buisness, Blaise." He spoke calmly and started walking again but the same voice once again stopped him.

"Don't give me that superior shit." The dark haired boy snapped with more anger laced in his tone. Draco resisted to scoff due to the fact that this was indeed his friend, he turned around to show somewhat respect for the boy. Blaise stood up from the black couch and faced the blond slytherin. By the couch in one of the armchair sat no one but the snake Ethan, Draco had no doubt who had gotten Blaise against him. He raised his eyebrows slightly in order to get Blaise to name his intentions with the conversation. "I asked you a question." was the answer to his unspoken question.

"And I told you that it isn't any of your buisness." Draco replied in the same calm voice, this time though he said it much colder than before. He saw and felt the anger blossom within the boy before him who appeared to turn slightly red and didn't even bother to control his emotions.

"What's wrong with you Malfoy?" Blaise hissed. Draco rolled his eyes, knowing that the conversation wasn't going anywhere. He gave his friend a hard look and turned around to leave, there was no point staying there.

"DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME!" Blaise shouted in complete outrage and followed Draco with long steps that echoed in the silent common room. His hand shot out and grabbed Draco's arm in a vice grip, successfully stopping the blond. He didn't even react as Draco's arm slammed against his chest and was then pulled out of his grip. Blaise stumbled back a few steps and felt the air leave his lungs for a few seconds causing him to breathe heavily, desperate to get in some air. Ethan was by his side within seconds, checking to see if he was okay. He saw Draco walking up the stairs to the boy's dormitory and growled in fury.

The door behind the blond boy shut quietly.

* * *

Harry lay on his bed, staring up in the ceiling and thinking about what had happened that day when the door to the dormitory opened. He snapped his head to the side and saw Ron hesitantly making his way inside the room, he was the first of the boys to arrive home from the party. 

"Hey" the redhead said softly in an uncertain way, almost as if asking Harry if he was still angry. It almost made the raven haired boy annoyed again, but he pushed the feeling away and forced himself to remain calm.

"Hey." He simply said back, letting Ron know that things between them were okay. The redhead sat down on his own bed next to Harry's and sighed loudly.

"Have you been here the whole time?" He asked once again sounding a little uncertain, he didn't know if it was a good idea to bring up anything that could be related to their last conversation. To his relief Harry nodded his head slowly after a few seconds and got an unreadable look on his face. "Is something wrong?" Ron continued, seeing a slight frown appear on his best friends forehead. Harry shook his head 'no' and sighed softly.

"I'm just tired that's all." He answered, feeling bad for lying but it's not like he could've told Ron the truth about where he had been and what he had done. "so, how was the party?" he asked, hoping to change the subject away from himself. Ron shrugged and kicked off his shoes.

"It was decent I guess, I think Hermione is angry with me though." He mumbled and scratched the back of his neck. Harry felt another confusing spark of anger at the mention of his two best friends together, but his lack of energy stopped the spark from catching fire.

"How did you manange to do that?" He inquired, turning his head to the side to look at the redhead who looked rather downcast. Ron sighed and fell back against the bed with a squeak.

"I don't know!" he cried out hopelessly. "You know how Hermione is, always bickering about things that aren't important." Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead turned his head up to look once again at the ceiling. He had to agree with Hermione that Ron could be quite the moron sometimes, he didn't understand why Hermione wanted to have him as a boyfriend. They were boyfriend and girlfriend right? of course they were, you don't run around kissing random.. friends just like that.

Ron was rash, sloppy and aggressive. He was a good friend but not someone Harry would ever fancy kissing. Draco on the other hand, he was composed, intelligent, confident, graceful and charming. Harry smiled and felt his stomach flip. He cleared his throat.

"Maybe you just don't understand what's important to her." He said tiredly. "Girls are complicated, you know. You have to pay attention." Ron let out a frustrated groan.

"How the hell am I supposed to know what she's meaning when she won't even give me a hint." He muttered furiously. "I can't read minds or anything." this time, Harry did roll his eyes.

"There are hints!" He somewhat snapped, getting annoyed at how stupid Ron could be. "Lots of them! Girls send out signals and hints all the time, you're just to ignorant to pick them up." He sighed in frustration, not believing he was actually having this conversation. "Why don't you go and talk to your sister about this or something, let her explain to you, I really don't feel like it."

Ron opened his mouth and was about to say something when they both heard the door to the dormitory open again. Their head snapped automatically in the direction and saw a bushy head peek through the small opening. The door squeaked slightly as it was pushed up wider and a dim light streamed through. Hermione silently entered the room and sat down on Ron's bed staring at Harry.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Harry cleched his teeth in annoyance and once again struggled to push the feeling away. He hummed in response, feeling unable to talk without unleashing some sort of anger outburst. It wasn't really that he was angry at them, really. It was some sort of weird mix of bottled up feelings and teen hormones that made everything annoy him.

"I'm really sorry about earlier" Hermione continued carefully, she knew her friend and could tell that he was not as okay as Ron believed him to be. Harry nodded in understanding without looking at her with his teeth still clenched together tightly. "You know you can talk to us right? We really care, you know." she stared at him, desperately searching for eyecontact.

"Why do you believe so badly that I have something to talk about?" Harry asked calmly snapping his head to the side to stare at Ron and Hermione. The brown haired girl swallowed and clearly thought her next words through.

"We just want you know that we are here for you, if there _is _something that you want to talk about." she said giving him a pleading look. "You need to know that you're not alone." Harry snorted.

"Maybe I want to be alone." he said simply. "Maybe that's the problem, I don't need anyone to talk to, I just need to be left alone." Ron and Hermione were both giving him hurt looks, so he turned his head away to avoid their gazes.

"I don't believe that" Hermione said in an almost whisper. "I don't think that you do either, you're just trying to push us away. You're hiding Harry! can't you see that? Talk to us!" she looked desperately at him with glazed over eyes. Harry sat up from his lying position and stared at them.

"You want me to talk that's it? FINE!" he looked down on his hands for a second before facing them once again. "I've met someone" he said softly, feeling as if he had just poured his heart out with these small words. "Someone who I really care about. And someone who really cares about me." He looked away again, not really sure if he wanted to see their reactions. But why did it matter, they didn't even know who it was.. but if they did. He sighed softly, he didn't want to think about how they would react to that.

He felt the mattress dip as another weight was seated upon it. He felt a pair of soft hands upon his own and stared down at his lap. He was hit with the urge to pull away from the touch and it made him somewhat disgusted with himself.

"Harry, look at me." Hermione said gently causing him to turn his head up to stare into her brown kind eyes. "I'm so glad that you feel like you could tell us this." she continued sincerely and Harry wondered if this would be her reaction everytime he told her something. The patronizing way she was talking to him almost made him regret saying anything at all.

"Who is it?" Ron asked, not as touched by the whole moment as Hermione was. "This girl you're seeing." Harry looked over at him and felt sick, of course they both assumed that it was a girl. Who wouldn't? It was the natural thing. The normal thing. How much easier it would've been if it only were a girl, but of course things were never easy. Hermione shot Ron a sharp glance but Harry didn't notice, he was too into his own thoughts on what to say.

"Umm.." he muttered weakly and felt his cheeks burn in slight panic. "I can't tell." he simply said and stared quickly between Ron and Hermione to see their reactions. Did they know? Hermione looked like she was only happy that Harry wasn't angry with them and somewhat understanding of his feelings. Ron raised his eyebrows at him in confusion.

"Why can't you tell?" he asked, ignoring the look he was recieving from Hermione. "It's not-- It's not my sister is it?!" He stood up furiously and glared down at Harry, his face turning slightly red. The raven haired boy eyed him carefully and viciously shook his head 'no'. Ron's face turned soft and his eyes were blank.

"Oh." he mumbled and sat down on the bed once again. "It's not my sister?" he asked once again, this time sounding soft and somewhat hurt. Harry shook his head again, casting Hermione a concerned look. Ron let out a little bitter laugh.

"I really thought you were going to marry her, you know." he said, looking down in his lap in embarrassment. "I mean, not that I care about my little sis' relationship or anything- " Hermione scoffed. "- It's just, we'd be like.. brothers for real then. My mum would really love the idea of you being a part of our family for real" Harry uncomfortably scratched his neck and cleared his throat, trying to cover up that he was slightly touched by Ron's words. What could he respond to that 'Erm, sorry. I can always marry one of your brothers, if it doesn't work out with one of them I can try another one' ?

"Yeah, don't expect too much Ron." He muttered, knowing exactly how it was never going to happen. They stayed silent for a few uncomfortable seconds before Ron decided to break it.

"So, who is it then?" he asked causing Harry to roll his eyes.

"I told you already; I can't tell." He said more confident this time. Ron opened his mouth and Harry was sure that he wasn't going to give up, Hermione though stopped him from asking again by placing a hand over his mouth. Without even sparing a glance at him, she turned to Harry.

"How long has it been going on then?" she asked, letting her hand slip from Ron's mouth. Harry thought about it, how long had it all been going on. The start had of course been the very big step from going to so called 'enemies' to.. not enemies. But when did their relationship really begin, it must have of course been--

"Was that the girl you had been with after the quidditch match that time?" Hermione interrupted his musings excitedly. "When you came back looking like you had been dropped into the lake or something." Harry automatically reached for a pillow and placed it in his lap, tugging at it slightly.

"yes." he said softly, looking away with a blush. He thought back on the time that had been his first kiss with Draco and couldn't help but smile. He shyly pressed his burning face into the pillow and only lifted his eye to stare at Ron from under his dark bangs. Ron was grinning from ear to ear at him, causing Harry to bury his face deeper into the pillow.

Hermione giggled at him. "Harry, you're in love!" she stated like it was the most natural thing in the world. Harry looked up at her, hugging the pillow tightly against his chest.

"In love?" he asked her in a whisper causing her to stop smiling. She nodded seriously.

"I mean.. arne't you? you're certainly acting like you are." she mumbled quickly. "I'm sorry if--" Harry shook his head in order to get her to stop talking.

"It's okay Hermione" he said with a little laugh. "I just haven't thought about it that much." He was sure that he had some sort of feelings for Draco but what it was he had no idea of, maybe he was in love. The thought of being in love with a boy was still so foreign to him, but that's what it felt like. That's certainly how he had imagined love anyway. "I guess I am." he said softly and smiled with his chin resting against the soft pillow, it felt good to admit. He wanted to bounce around and shout out loud that he was in love, but that would probably be a very bad idea.

"I'm so happy for you, Harry." Hermione said and hugged him gently from her position on the bed. "It's nice to see you so happy." Harry smiled back at her, feeling geniually happy around his friends for the first time in a long time.

"It's nice to be happy." he replied grinning widely. Ron who had seemed somewhat lost in the discussion peeked up suddenly.

"So you're not gonna tell us who she is?" he asked with a grin to match Harry's. Said raven haired boy rolled his eyes and threw the soft pillow into the redhead's face. It bounced off him and fell down flat to the floor with a small thud.

"Okay, okay!" Ron laughed in defeat and held up his hands. "I give up, I just don't understand why you won't tell us about this mystery person. It's not someone ugly is it? You're ashamed aren't you?" He stopped for a second and a look of disgust fell upon his face. "It's not that fat seventh year hufflepuff with all the pimples? come on, you can do better than that."

"Ron!" Hermione snapped glaring furiously at him. "Love isn't about someone's apperance, it's about a deeper connection." Ron shrugged and gave her a disbelieving look.

"Right, but you're not gonna wanna snog a fugly girl so what's the point of having a relationship with one?" he inquired making Hermione turn red in anger. She let out a frustrated growl and clenched her fists together tightly

"I can't believe you're so shallow!" she cried out and let out a calming breath. "There really isn't a point to discuss this with you Ronald, it's clear that we have different oppinions about it."

"Well I'm sorry!" Ron snapped. "Why else would Harry be too ashamed to tell us about her?"

"We just want to keep it a secret for a while." Harry replied angrily, starting to feel somewhat pissed at Ron too. "You know how fast things spread here at hogwarts and before you know it, it's in the bloody daily prophet." he ended with a sigh, they had to buy that excuse right? Daily prophet wasn't exactly the biggest reason why he didn't tell Ron and Hermione, but when come to think of it, that would be the worst thing possible to happen.

Ron shut his mouth in defeat and scratched the back of his neck gingerly. "I guess so." he muttered softly and sighed.

"Well I better go now." Hermione said and stood up before the situation got awkward. "Before Seamus, Dean or Neville come back. " She bent down and gave Harry a short but warm hug, then left the room.

"See." Ron said with a raised eyebrow. "I told you she was angry at me." Harry scoffed and stood up to pull the bedspread off the bed, it fell carelessly to the floor.

"Yeah, and I don't think this conversation helped much." he said and pulled off his robes, so that he was left in a simple white t-shirt and a pair of black pants. Ron snorted and shook his head in defeat as he started to rip up his own neatly made bed.

Harry slipped under the quilt and with some difficulty undressed himself from the pants. He sat up, threw them to the foot of the bed and saw Ron starting to openly get undressed. With a small blush on his cheeks, Harry turned his head to stare at something else. He wasn't comfortable with changing around other people, neither was he comfortable when other people changed around him.

He heard a ruffle of sheets and turned back to look at Ron who was now safely covered by his own quilt. Ron grinned at him and Harry simply smiled back tiredly, it had been a long day. The redhead suddenly looked somewhat serious.

"You will tell us some day right?" he asked. "I mean, I'm your best friend and all." Harry bit his lip, this was a secret that would probably be best kept from Ron but he also knew that it would be a hard kept one as well. He nodded his head and smiled nervously.

"Some day Ron" he confirmed and gently fell back against the bed, he was surprised through when instead of his head hitting his soft pillow it instead bounced onto the mattress. Feeling awkwardly straight with no leverage for his neck, Harry sat up and felt something soft hit the side of his head to then land beside him.

"Maybe you shouldn't throw away your pillow." Ron said and grinned at him. "Good night." Harry tossed the pillow in place and lay down on his stomach with the side of his face in the pillow.

"Good night" he replied to Ron and started hitting the pillow slightly to make it soft in all the right places. When he was satisfied with his work, he placed both of his arms under the pillow, closed his eyelids and felt himself slipping into the darkness.

* * *

The day after, Harry had felt a big weight lifted off of his shoulders. He had told Ron and Hermione that he was seeing someone and so far they seemed to be okay with it. It felt good to be able to share it with someone even though they didn't really know, he felt more connected to his best friends again. Even though he felt closer to them after the converation he still had an urge to distance himself from them sometimes, he just needed to privacy. 

That's why he was currently sitting alone on a stone out on the grounds, deep in thought about his situation with his friends. The stone was covered with a thin layer of snow just like the rest of the enviroment but a part of the stone had been cleaned from it and some of the tiny snowflakes were now stuck in the soft material of Harry's mittens, disappearing slowly as it melted into the fabric.

Harry buried his face deeper into the red and golden scarf tightly wrapped around his slim neck, breathing softly in some warmth. His nose and cheeks were flushed pink from the cold and his mittens had gotten slightly damp from the snow by now. He rubbed his hands together and when it didn't make them warmer, he settled for keeping them in his pockets. On his head he was wearing a black hat with a pointy top, the only hair visible were the raven bangs falling into his emerald eyes.

He was staring around the grounds when he saw someone in dark getting closer. It didn't take long before he noticed that light hair on top of all the black. He stared around to see if someone was there and didn't see anyone. In a few second Draco stood right in front of him.

"Hey." he said simply. Harry stared in shock and took in the apperance of the person in front of him. Draco was dressed in the usual black robes with a equally dark cloak hanging around his shoulder, he didn't wear a scarf, hat or gloves and didn't seem affected much by the cold except from the slightly tinged pink earlobes.

"Hey.." Harry finally replied. "Umm.. Should you be here? he stared around once again, worried that someone would see them. Draco raised an eyebrow in question. "I mean, someone might see ut." Harry explained in a whisper as if someone was standing behind them listening.

"I don't see anyone around." Draco stated, grinning. Harry bit his lower lip and stared at the big castle not too far away.

"What about the castle?" he asked, glancing over at Draco and then back at Hogwarts. "Someone might see us from the windows." A small whistle of air smacked Harry in the face, causing him to bury deeper into the soft material of the red and golden scarf.

"Don't worry." Draco said smiling slightly and pushing away some blond strands of hair that flew into his face. "Whoever sees us from the castle will simply think that I came to pester you some, they probably can't even see our face expressions from there." Harry sighed into the scarf and nodded his head in agreement.

"So is there anything you want to talk about?" he asked, looking into Draco's gray eyes. "It's pretty bold to meet here for just a meaningless chat." Draco nodded and turned serious, causing Harry to worry about where this meeting was going.

"It was your snake in the dungeons last night right?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow in question. Harry blinked, he had forgotten completely about Icicle. He had just assumed that she would manage on her own, she always seemed to do but Harry hadn't seen her come back from the dungeons.

"Yes" the raven haired boy replied, nodding his head hesitantly. "Why? what about her?" his voice sounded somwhat shaky and his inside felt cold, there was something about Draco's eyes that worried him.

"I .. found her in the dungeons last night." Draco explained, not really knowing how to say it. "I think one of the slytherins got to her, probably Damon." He ended the sentence with a small intake of air and waited for Harry's reaction. Said gryffindor had both of his eyebrows raised a little bit and he nodded his head once as if trying to get Draco to continue. The blond boy simply stared back, waiting for it to sink it. He knew that Harry was not naive when it came to death and that he only needed a second to accept it.

"She's d-dead?" Harry finally asked, his voice cracking. He looked down without waiting for an answer and felt tears stinging in the corner of his eyes, burning slightly in the cold wind. It wasn't sorrow that was weighing down his heart the most, it was guilt. He simply hadn't been connected enough to her to grieve her death, but his heart was still aching for the small creature.

He hadn't taken care of her at all. He had just taken her back the castle and once there he hadn't given her a second glance. He had brought her to the danger of humans and not thought about what could happen to her. He had himself carried her down to the dungeons, left her there and gone to mind his own selfish buisness.

"Where is she?" Harry asked looking up into Draco's eyes with a determined spark in his own emerald ones. The slytherin gave him a puzzled look. "Where is she? where's the body?" Harry continued, knowing a way to make up for his careless actions. Draco blinked carefully.

"I made it disappear." he answered and frowned as he saw Harry stare back hopelessly.

"What?" the gryffindor breathed out. "Why did you do that?" He felt his inside getting colder again but then a familiar warm feeling of anger swept through him.

"What should I have done? just left a dead snake on the floor?" Draco cried out in his defence. "It's not like I knew you wanted the body for something." Harry closed his eyes in patience and grithed his teeth together.

"I wanted to bury it." he hissed and snapped his eyes open. "I wanted to give her a proper burial because I think she'd deserve that! but now I can't!" he stood up in anger and brushed past Draco. He heard the slytherin call his name a few times but it soon drowned in the whisteling sound of the wind, he never came to stop him.

Harry quickened his pace and pulled the scarf tighter around his neck, burying his face into the warmth to escape the hard wind slapping him in the face. He stared down at his feet to keep the wind out of his eyes and silently cursed himself, why had he reacted like that? He wasn't angry at Draco, he wasn't even angry, not really. His hope to make it up to Icicle after abandoning her in the dungeons had been torn into pieces as Draco told him that the body was gone. Harry had just wanted to bury her in a nice place to give her a good start into the after life. He felt that he owed her that. Now he couldn't do that, and the guilt was tearing him apart.

He didn't care that she was "only a snake". It was a living creature, another soul that had been let down by the world. He finally reached the castle and once he got inside he pulled off the hat, messing up his hair in the process. He stuffed the piece of clothing into his pocket and started making his way towards the gryffindor tower. After a short while he passed two hufflepuff boys sitting on the windowsill to one of Hogwarts' big, slightly frosted windows.

"Hey Harry!" one of them called out. Harry turned around, recognizing both of them as seventh years. He hummed in response, wondering why these people he didn't even know was talking to him. "Malfoy giving you a hard time again?" the same boy asked, nodding his head in direction of the window. Harry caught a glimpse of the grounds before he turned his eyes back to the two hufflepuffs. He nodded briefly and walked away before they could say anything else.

He turned around a corner and suddenly stopped. His brain snapped in and instead of his angry guilt, his realistisc gryffindor mind stepped in. His anger faded but the guilt was somewhat still there, just directed in other places. He shouldn't have overreacted like that, he shouldn't have let his emotions take over. With a weak sigh he turned around and cursed himself for not being able to control his emotions. He certainly shouldn't have taken it out on Draco like that.

Harry quickened his pace when he once again passed the hufflepuffs before they could say anything. He went over to a big window to see if Draco was still out on the grounds, without success. He hurried in the direction of the dungeons, trying his best to catch up with the slytherin.

Without paying much attention, Harry suddenly slammed into something big. He fell backwards to the floor with a groan, feeling his chest and bum getting sore. He snapped his head up and before his mind could register anything, he had been pressed against the wall and came face to face with no one else but Damon Vexe.

"Well well, golden boy is getting awfully close to the snake's den." He hissed with a crazed look in his dark green eyes. "Be careful or you might get bitten." Harry pushed against the strong chest but Damon kept him firmly against the wall with a strong grip around the gryffindors robes.

"What do you want?" Harry asked furiously, squirming to get loose. "Let go off me!" Damon laughed and bent his head closer to Harry's, making the slighter boy turn his face away.

"I don't think so." Damon whispered against Harry's cheek, causing him to shiver in disgust. "Look at me!" He jerked the smaller boy violentely into the wall and while holding him up with one hard, he grabbed Harry's chin with the other. He forced the gryffindor to look him in the eye with a vice grip, bruising the sensitive skin.

Harry pressed himself backwards into the wall as he felt and tasted Damon's foul breath against his lips. Being suddenly reminded of Icicle's death, Harry felt his anger boiling. With a sudden move he managed to land a foot into the slytherin's shin and continued by pushing the strong arms away while Damon was still in shock over the pain in his leg.

Without looking back, Harry made a dash down the corridor to get as far away from Damon as possible. He didn't have the time or patience to deal with him. He didn't hear any footsteps behind him but didn't push his luck by slowing down, there was no point taking that risk.

"Hey there" Harry stopped suddenly, almost tripping over his own feet. His head snapped to the side and saw Draco leaning against the stone wall in the shadow of a large statue of a unusually big goblin. Draco smirked at the gryffindor's state as said boy tried to regain his posture.

"I was looking for you." Harry said softly, biting his lower lip and staring down the corridor, almost expecting Damon to show up any second. "Is there somewhere we can go?" Draco raised a suggestive eyebrow and lead Harry to an empty classroom.

"I'm sorry for overreacting." Harry said after taking in the new surroundings. "I wasn't angry at you, I just felt guilty for leaving Icicle in the dungeons." He sighed and stared down at his feet to avoid facing Draco's reaction to his apology. To his surprise, he heard Draco scoff and his heart stopped for a second.

"Bloody gryffindor." Draco muttered, threw an arm around Harry's neck, pulled him close and planted a chaste kiss on his forehead. Harry stared up with a frown, his chin resting against Draco's chest due to the closeness the slytherin kept between them with his arm still around Harry's neck.

"It's not like I was offended or anything." Draco explained, shrugging his shoulders and smirked. "I'm sure the guilt of having an angry outburst must have been very heavy on your gryffindor heart." He leaned in and rested his forehead against Harry's. The raven haired boy blinked in surprise and relaxed against Draco's body.

"So you're not angry?" He asked, his voice slightly muffled against the soft fabric of Draco's robes.

"No." Draco responded simply, his chest heaving slightly under Harry's chin. "I knew it wasn't directed towards me." Harry hummed in agreement, feeling completely sated with Draco's strong body against his and the manly scent surrounding him.

"So you don't hate me?" The raven haired boy asked with his eyes closed, not really waiting for an answer. Draco pushed him away slightly, bringing Harry out of his bliss. He stared down at the smaller boy with a serious face and cupped his chin gently. Draco looked into the depths of those beautiful emerald eyes he had come to love so dearly. The raw intensity they sent out. The way he felt as he stared into those green pools and completely disappeared. Drowned. It was so frigtening yet so intriguing. It wasn't something he needed, it was something he yearned.

"Never again." Draco whispered, pulling Harry against himself once again. Hard. The smaller boy hugged back with just as much force, neither of them was planning on letting go anytime soon.


	28. The Twisted Mind Of Damon Vexe

**- In The Dark - **

Authoress Ramble: **sorry**. At least you've all been busy with the last Harry Potter book. I had been telling myself "hey, there's a slim chance that Draco/Harry could happen" for a long time so I was disappointed in the end when it didn't turn out that way. well well, keep them AU stories coming.

**My computer got infected by a bitchy virus and sometimes it just shuts off on me, now at least I've got it under control and manages to save what I've written before it all erases. **

Warnings: Slash, angst, fluff, swearing. Also somewhat more graphic Draco/Harryness. 

Some sensitive readers might not like small parts of this chapter. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

Chapter twentyeight: The Twisted Mind Of Damon Vexe 

Harry sighed tiredly and placed a charms book into his already heavy bag. He pulled it over his shoulder and groaned slightly at the extra weight, his limbs always felt sore enough when he woke up in the mornings.

"Hurry up Ron, we've already missed breakfast, we'll be late for defence against dark arts soon." He said loudly to the redhead who was currently sitting on his bed in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear pulling on a pair of socks. Ron grunted in response and after putting on his socks he started to fumble around, looking for the pants he had worn last night.

Harry was doing the best he could trying to avoid looking at Ron without being too obvious. He wasn't comfortable with the open way Ron got dressed around him. Through the thin material of the redhead's underwear you could see a slight natural bulge standing out. Harry felt like he was invading on Ron's privacy without said boy knowing it, if Ron knew about him being into guys he would probably have been disgusted by the thought of changing around him. Not that he was into Ron or anything.

"Are you done?" Ron asked, making Harry snap his head to look at the now fully dressed boy. He nodded and started walking towards the door. "What's that?" Ron asked suddenly, stopping in his tracks causing Harry to turn around. The redhead was staring at him with a frowning look. Feeling suddenly very self-conscious, Harry automatically raised a hand to feel his face as if expecting to find something nasty attatched to his cheek.

"That bruise." Ron said pointing at Harry's chin, taking a step closer. The raven haired boy avoided Ron's curious eyes and walked into the bathroom. He stopped in front of the mirror to expect the damage. It wasn't fully visible, the bruise only really showed when he tilted his head up so that you could get a view of the part beneath the chin and above his throat, it had though also managed to reach around the area under his jawbones on both sides of his face.

With a grimace, Harry touched the purple skin softly but pulled back as a wave of pain shot through his chin. '_Great_' he thought and walked back into the dormitory to Ron who hadn't moved - guys didn't follow each other to the bathroom like girls did. Now people were gonna start talking about what had happened to Harry, he couldn't imagine some of the crazy stuff they could come up with.

"How did you get that?" Ron asked and trailed after Harry as he walked down to the empty common room, everyone had already gone to class. The raven haired boy sighed and opened the portrait hole for the two of them to step out.

"You know how slytherins are." he said, his voice rough and annoyed at the thought of anything Damon related, that person was really getting on his nerves. It was like when Harry and Draco had been rivals, Damon was just a more insane and violent version.

"Malfoy?" Ron inquired, sounding disgusted. Harry started at the surprisingly venomous tone and stared down at the floor. He knew exactly how Ron felt about Draco.

"No!" He snapped, sounding more hurt than he had intended to. His response was met by silence and he could imagine Ron's frowning and confused face without turning around.

"Then who was it?" Ron finally asked, quickening his pace so that he was side by side with Harry. The raven haired boy almost scoffed in disbelief, Ron was acting as if everything was like it used to be between them, which it wasn't. Ron could not _not _have noticed that things had changed between them lately.

"Damon Vexe." Harry muttered grimly and sighed at Ron's confused look. "You know, insane seventh year with crazy eyes. Always parading the corridors with his two followers."

"Sounds a lot like Malfoy to me." Ron said grinning but turned serious as he was met by silence. "I think I know who you mean, how did you get on his bad side all of a sudden?" Harry shrugged in defeat.

"I have no idea." he said honestly. "Aren't I on every slytherin's bad side? I never know why anything happens to me." he added bitterly as they reached the classroom. Everyone had already gone inside but the door stood open for students that arrived in the last minute. Harry and Ron stepped into the classroom and noticed that professor Nuit hadn't shown up yet, neither of them bothered to question who had opened the door to let the students in.

They took their usual seats next to Hermione who had already placed her books, quill, parchment and wand on the desk. She looked up as they approached and gave them both a disapproving look. Ron who sat down next to her with Harry on his other side stared back.

"What?" he questioned in an annoyed tone. Hermione sighed loudly and glanced around in the classroom. Her focus was, like her anger, directed towards Ron. She didn't look at Harry and didn't notice his bruise.

"The two of you are so lucky that professor Nuit isn't here yet." she whispered loudly. "You could've lost us house points or gotten detention for being late." she glared at Ron for a second, clearly thinking it was all his fault. Which it was. Harry didn't really pay attention to what was said, he was staring around trying to find the familiar mop of blonde hair among the students. It didn't take long before he spotted the back of the slytherin's head, he was sitting by a table with Theodore Nott.

"Well we weren't late." Ron shot back angrily at Hermione. "So stop nagging." Hermione huffed and looked ready to say something back when the door to the classroom shut loudly. Half of the class started in reaction and the rest was staring around wildly.

"Good morning class." professor Nuit's voice echoed through the room like a loud whisper. The students snapped their heads towards the front of the classroom where the dark haired teacher stood, staring at them with his deep violet eyes. Harry had to admit; that man knew how to make an entrance.

"Today we're going to practise building up magial shields." the professor countinued, moving around his desk, lightly tapping his long fingers against the hard wood. "The shield is pretty basic and can protect you from spells and lighter curses." He went to explain how to use your own magic to build the shield and announced that they would be working in pairs of two and two. Harry sighed and looked down at his lap, it was situations like these that made him aware of the confusing relationship between Ron and Hermione.

To his surprise he saw Ron gesturing towards him and Hermione looking rather angry behind him.

"I'll decide the pairs." professor Nuit said as he noticed that small chaos that errupted in the classroom. Some of the students had succesfully paired themselves up while some students came in groups of three and five. The dark haired vampire moved between the tables and paired the students up by the way they were seated. Like for example, Draco was paired up with Nott.

Nuit finally reached the trio's table and pointed with his long, pale fingers at Ron and Hermione. Ron sighed in defeat causing the girl to glare at him furiously. The vampire stared at Harry for half a second before moving his gaze over to the table in front of the trio. Dean, Seamus and Neville was sitting there, waiting to get paired up.

"You." He said, pointing at Harry. "and you." he added moving his fingers towards Neville before gesturing towards an empty table further back in the classroom. Dean and Seamus got paired up with each other.

Neville hurriedly gathered up his books and smiled hesitantly at Harry as they both made it to move to the empty table. Harry smiled back, glad to have gotten away from the tension Ron and Hermione had built up. The tension also felt as distance, distance that ironically faded as he got further away.

He and Neville sat down next to each other and as Harry looked at the other boy with intentions to start practising he noticed Neville staring at him with a frown. Harry realized what he was looking at and sighed tiredly.

"Slytherin." he said simply, replying to Neville's unspoken question. "Don't ask." He had had enough of explaining it once before and didn't feel like doing it again. Neville nodded and pulled out his wand hesitantly.

"Shall we start practising?" he asked, looking kinda nervous to be paired up to do magic with Harry Potter. Harry nodded and starting searching through his bag for his wand. When he found it they both took turns casting spells and trying to block them with a shield. After a while, about half of the class could somewhat block simple spells, surprisingly Harry wasn't one of them. Said gryffindor groaned and pulled his hair angrily, he was supposed to be able to do this.

"Maybe you just need to relax for a second." Neville suggested. He wasn't either able to block any spells, but he had never expected to be able to learn it quickly in the first place. Harry sighed and turned his head to stare at Ron and Hermione to see how they were going.

Hermione was currently squirming in her chair, clutching her stomach with tears of laughter running down her face. Ron had his wand pointing at her and was grinning from ear to ear. Feeling a little better that Hermione hadn't been able to do the spell, Harry turned back to Neville.

"You feel ready to try again?" Neville asked gently, gently in a caring and hesitant way. Harry sighed and shook his head in defeat, he could feel his magic buried deep inside of himself not ready to reach the surface. Instead he raised his own wand and pointed it at Neville who screwed up his face in concentration.

Harry muttered a small spell and a bright light shot out of the tip of his wand. The magic inside of him didn't even stir due to the fact that this spell came so naturally by now. The light hit Neville in the chest and the boy burst out laughing like a madman. Harry lifted the spell after about half of a second, it was already obvious that Neville hadn't been able to block the spell.

Said boy straightened up and was breathing heavily, his chubby cheeks tinged pink and his eyes slightly glossy. Harry couldn't help but notice the disappointed look in Neville's face.

"You'll do better soon." He said, not really knowing what else to say. To his relief, Neville smiled weakly and nodded his head.

"I never expected to be able to do it in the first place." He said with a sigh. "But you always hope, you know." before Harry got any chance to respond, he continued. "or, you wouldn't know I guess." He turned his head down to his lap and his shoulders fell slightly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Harry asked calmly, feeling cold at the thought of where this was going. Neville stared up with his eyes wide, afraid that he had said something wrong.

"It's nothing." He said hurriedly. "It's just.. you know. You're really good at magic and you learn quickly, which I don't." Harry blushed, feeling modest and shook his head.

"It's not always like that." he muttered, his head slightly bent down and his eyes downcast. "I had to work really hard to learn a simple summoning charm." Neville looked a little surprised.

"But you can do a patronus." He insisted. "And--"

"Look." Harry interrupted, staring up at Neville from under his dark bangs. "Don't think that things just come to me easily, I work really hard and you'll learn too if you just practise." Neville nodded and smiled.

"Thanks Harry." He said. "I never meant for it to sound as if you didn't deserve it, sorry." There was a second of uncomfortable silence that was only filled with the sound in the background of spells being cast and laughter of people who didn't manage to build up a shield.

"You want to try the shield again?" Neville finally asked, holding up his wand. Harry shook his head.

"No." he sighed weakly. "I'm not really feeling in shape today." He turned away and looked at a wall across the room. Neville took in the raven haired boy's apperance, he was still as pale as ever and had dark bags under his eyes. The bruise on his chin stood out nastily on the creamy white skin and his jawbones had gotten more defined due to his weightloss, the fact that his face had gotten thinner was worrying.

"Does it have something to do with that bruise on your face?" Neville couldn't help but ask. Harry's head snapped in the chubby boys direction and his emerald eyes were staring at him with deep intensity.

"No." he answered. "or yes. maybe.. I don't know really, I guess it does, but there are other things too. It's complicated." he finished with a sigh.

Neville gave him an understanding look. "Do you want to talk about it?" he inquired.

Harry bit his lower lip and shook his head. "No." he said softly. "I can't talk to _anyone"_ he continued hurriedly when he saw Neville's rejected look. "It's like.. like I have these feelings but I can't talk about them cause I feel bad for thinking things like that, and talking about them would be like confirming them. If you know what I mean." he finished with a frown.

Neville gave him a puzzled look but nodded. "I think I might know." Harry sighed and seriously doubted that Neville really understood what he meant. What kind of thoughts was he talking about? the most upcoming one was about his best friends of course. The fact that sometimes he thought that they were bad friends for leaving him out like that and sometimes he thought that _he _was the bad friend who couldn't let them be happy with each other without accusing them of being bad people, it made him feel selfish. Like he was trying to pull them down in his misery. A real friend would just let the people he loved be happy, not bring them down out of spite and jealously. Was he really such a bitter person to want to ruin Ron and Hermione's happiness? Was that subconsciously what he was trying to do?

He shook his head, trying to clear it from all those thoughts.

"I really do understand you." Neville insisted, obviously taking Harry's gesture as not believing him. He looked around and bent closer to the smaller boy. "Sometimes I think bad thoughts about other people." he whispered, looking rather afraid to have admitted that. Harry perked up in morbid curiousness.

"What kind of thoughts?" he asked, also leaning closer.

"It's not that bad." Neville mumbled even more quiet this time. "Mostly just that people will disappear, not die a painful death or anything, just simply disappear without a trace." Harry frowned.

"Bad people?"

Neville shook his head, looking ashamed. "People around me. If they disappeared, I could take their place instead." Harry pulled back and looked Neville in the eyes. In those chocolate brown depths were no longer warmth or a nervous hesitation, only a somewhat haunted longing look. Harry opened his mouth to say something - anything - but was interrupted by a deep voice behind him.

"Everything allright here boys?" professor Nuit asked. Harry turned around and nodded, ignoring the shivers running down his spine from the penetrating look he was recieving. The violet eyed vampire tilted his head to the side and smiled, before walking away.

Harry let out a breath he hadn't realize he was holding and stared after the professor simply because he couldn't tear his eyes away. He noticed that people had started packing their things together and leaving the classroom. Pulling out of his daze Harry jumped off the seat and threw his bag over his shoulder.

He was about to leave with Neville when he heard a ripping sound and the next thing he knew his things were splattered all over the floor.

"Go on without me." Harry said, bending down and started gathering everything together. Neville hesitated for a second before joining the rest of the students. With a sigh, Harry spoke a repairing charm on his bag and started filling it up.

A dark shadow joined his own on the floor, causing him to look up. There was his gorgeous, blond, slytherin _boyfriend_ with a small smile tugging on his lips. A smile that vanished the second he got a good look in Harry's face. Said gryffindor felt the giddy happiness that had errupted at the sight of Draco slowly fade away.

"What is it?" he asked hesitantly, starting to feel very self-conscious. Was it something about him that day that Draco didn't like?

"What do you want Malfoy?" A dark voice behind the slytherin growled. Harry looked around Draco, still on the floor, and saw his two best friends standing there with disapproving looks on their faces.

"I was just paying your precious golden boy a little visit." Draco drawled, turning around. Harry could almost see the Malfoy smirk through the back of his head.

"Well sod off." Ron snapped, his face turning red. "Before I hex you into next week." Harry noted that the redhead held a hand over one of his pockets and didn't doubt for one second that he would go through with his threat. Or try at least.

"That threat is even more pathetic than.. well you. And that's saying something." Draco replied calmly. That wasn't a real Malfoy snide remark, was Draco holding back?

"Just leave Harry alone!" Ron shouted out in frustration, his now clenched fists shaking in rage. It was like he had to control them from not shooting out and punching Draco in the face.

"Who are you?" Draco continued in complete control of the situation. "His boyfriend?" Harry felt his heart stopping and then starting pounding, harder and faster than before. He felt dizzy and his ears started ringing. Panic creeped up on him. What the hell was Draco playing at?

"SHUT UP!" Ron roared in humiliation. He shot a glance at Hermione and his cheeks got even redder, from embarrassment. Draco raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Well that's all I need to know." he said and started leaving, making sure to give the somewhat shorter redhead a hard bump in the shoulder as he passed. Harry blinked and stared after the slytherin, taking in the billowing of his dark robes.

"Harry?" he heard Hermione's gentle voice above him. He grunted in response and started to gather up his things with shaking hands. "Are you okay?" she continued, noticing how he was acting. The raven haired boy nodded his head frantically and looked up at Ron from under his dark bangs. The redhead was staring to the side, a small blush still on his cheeks. Was he really that disgusted by the thoughts of two boys?

Harry stood up on unsteady legs and the trio left the classroom. As soon as they got out in the corridor the familiar ripping sound echoed through the empty hallway. Harry cursed loudly, not at all in mood for this and once again settled himself on the cold floor.

"Go ahead you guys." he said, not being stupid enough to mistake it all as a coincidence. Surprisingly, Ron didn't need to be told twice, maybe he was embarrassed around Harry for being refered as his boyfriend.

"Allright mate." he muttered, scratching the back of his neck. "Maybe you should get a new bag." he added before turning around with Hermione trailing behind him. Harry quickly put back his things into his bag and stared around in the corridor. He stopped at the sight of a dark shadow getting closer to him. Harry stood up and smiled weakly.

"Second time's the charm." he said nodding his head towards his own bag. Draco chuckled softly and enveloped Harry in a soft, brief hug while whispering in his ear "Well, I had to get your attention s_omehow_:". When he pulled back, he grabbed a hold of Harry's smaller hand and dragged him back into the defence against dark arts classroom.

"Now tell me what happened." Draco said seriously after the door closed behind them, he trailed a finger down Harry's cheekbone and let it linger on his bruised chin. Harry turned his head away and looked down at the floor, he knew Draco wouldn't give up until everything was explained.

"I ran into Damon." Harry muttered, thinking it would be best just to get it out. He looked into Draco's eyes in order to see his reaction and was met by a fierce anger. Harry slightly taken back, could only stare as Draco turned his back on him and let out an angry growl. In complete fury, Draco lashed out by kicking a nearby chair as hard as he could and slamming his fist into a table, hard enough to bruise his own skin.

Harry jumped and watched with wide eyes as the chair connected with another one and they both crashed down to the floor with loud unpleasant noises of frail wood hitting hard stone. Harry didn't notice his heart starting to beat faster, he didn't notice the fact that he had started to shaking. All he wondered was in what state of mood Draco would be in once he turned back around. Time seemed to slow down and all Draco did was to stand with his back turned and his hands lying flat against the wooden table. Harry was trying to call out to him, ask if he was okay, but there was a lump in his throat and he couldn't breathe enough air into his lungs. He started to breathe heavily to try to get some air, but his throat was blocked and his head started to get dizzy by the lack of oxygen.

Draco pushed down his anger and turned around as heard Harry starting to breath louder. He was taken aback by the sight that met him; Harry was looking down at the floor with his hair covering his face, his hands were clenched by his sides and drops of sweat ran down his fingers. Not only was he shaking but whenever he tried to drag in some air, his throat would let out a weezing sort of sound and his body would spasm particularly hard by the effort.

Feeling hopeless, Draco quickly grabbed Harry by the shoulders and shook him gently but harshly.

"Calm down!" he said loudly, starting to panic somewhat. He felt Harry trying to pull away from his grip and saw heavy sobs raking through his small body. He swore loudly and pulled the frigtened boy closer to his chest, keeping him in place with both of his arms around his back, making sure that both of Harry's arms were sealed to his sides to keep him from lashing out.

Harry didn't stop his struggle and continued to trash in Draco's arms, the overpowered feeling of not being able to move making it all so much worse and the situation so much threatening to him. He let out a choked sob in protest and tried viciously to kick Draco anywhere possible. Said slytherin grunted in pain at a sharp kick in his shin and pressed Harry closer, making it impossible for him to get a good aim.

"Calm. Down!" Draco tried reasoning with Harry with a sharp hiss in his ear. As expected this did not work and Harry continued struggling as hard as he could, succesfully landing a sharp elbow in Draco's ribs and an accidental slap in his face. After a few moment when Draco had gone completely blank on what to do and several parts of his body had started aching, he felt Harry sag in his arms and fall against his chest in exhaustion.

Letting out a sigh of relief he shifted Harry in his arms so that the smaller boy was supported with his head against Draco's shoulder. He felt weak arms land over his shoulders and ragged breaths against his neck, the body in his arms was still shaking and the vicious sobs hadn't stopped yet. Draco felt every heavy gasp against his own chest through the fabric of their clothes.

"It's okay." he whispered in Harry's ear gently and stroked the small of his back. The small boy's weight lay completely upon him and if hadn't been for his support Harry had fallen to the floor within a second. Starting to feel like this was gonna take awhile, Draco sank down to the floor slowly and sat down with Harry's head in his lap.

He looked down into dazed emerald eyes and stroked the slightly sweaty forehead in an attempt to calm the smaller boy down. Harry was still breathing heavily and his cheeks were stained with dried up tears.

"Harry?" Draco asked softly, feeling encouraged by the small look of recognition in his eyes. "I'm sorry" he continued, knowing exactly what had caused all of this. "I didn't mean to lose control like that, I'm not mad." Harry blinked and - clearly exhausted - closed his eyes for a second. Draco desperately grabbed the back of his neck, stroking the nape with the pad of his thumb and lowered his head to place a light kiss on Harry's pink lips. He pulled back a few inches and stared into those beautiful emerald eyes that slowly opened. The feeling he got when he stared into them, so frightening yet so intriguing.

"Draco.." Harry muttered tiredly and sat up ignoring Draco's move to protest. "I'm fine." he stated firmly, rubbing his eyes. "Just out of energy." The slytherin nodded his head but kept a close eye on him.

"I didn't mean to scare you." he said not really knowing if it was the right thing to say, but it was the best he could come up with. Harry blushed in embarrassment and shook his head to try to get ride of the lightheaded feeling.

"It's .. I.. never mind, it's nothing." he finally let out, wanting to sink through the floor. "I'm just being stupid that's all." the smaller boy looked down at the floor and sighed loudly.

"Yes you are." Draco stated, snapping Harry's head to attention. "What?" the blond boy continued, eyeing Harry's questioning look. "What am I supposed to say?"

Harry, slightly taken aback, blinked. "You're supposed to tell me that it's completely normal and that it's no big deal." he said with a small desperation in his voice. Draco shrugged and gave him a stern look.

"It's _not _normal." he uttered with a roll of his eyes. "People don't have panicattacks for no reason." Harry blushed in embarrassment and anger.

"I wasn't panicing!"´he snapped, pulling himself up to his feet. "and you.. you.. you're a prat!" the gryffindor clenched his fists at his sides and narrowed his eyes, trying to ignore how childish he sounded.

"Look.." Draco muttered, standing up with a little more ease than Harry had. "I like you so I will always be honest with you. I'm not going to pretend that it's no big deal and I'm not going to patronize you with reassuring words when it's not necessary." He grabbed a light hold of Harry's limp hands in his own bigger, rough ones and took a step closer, invading Harry's personal space.

"Tell me what it was that upset you.." he whispered in the smaller boy's ear and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Did you think I was going to hurt you?" Harry shook his head slowly.

"No." he muttered and when he didn't make another effort to continue, Draco interrupted the silence.

"Did you remember bad things?" he asked, cursing himself for sounding like he was talking to a child. Harry pulled back from Draco in anger.

"NO!" he shouted, just wanting to be left alone and feeling as if Draco's every move to make things better were annoying him. "I DON'T KNOW! SOMETIHNG. JUST. HAPPENED! I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, I'M NOT A BRAIN EXPERT!" he huffed and tried to steady his heavy breathing once he was done. His cheeks were red and his hair stood up in every direction like usual.

"Well it is _your_ brain after all, you know." Draco said calmly through clenched teeth. Harry felt his frustration build up even more and let out an angry shriek before he could calm himself down enough.

"Whatever." he muttered. "Why do you hate Ron?" the gryffindor asked and looked in Draco's eyes with a confused and hurt look.

"What?" said blond questioned, taken aback by the change of subject but not making an effort to change back.

"Why do you hate Ron?" Harry repeated and lowered his head. "I.. I don't like it when you fight, it feels like I'm stuck in between." How he wished that Draco, Ron and Hermione could get along, but a part of him knew that it would never happen.

Draco shrugged. "What am I supposed to do then? just walk up and kiss you right in front of him?" he inquired, sounding defeated. Harry snapped his head up and stared at Draco with the most intense gaze.

"I wish you would." he whispered.

"I wish I could." Draco replied. "but I can't and you know that--"

"Why?" Harry snapped, starting to feel angry. "Why can't you? what is there that's keeping our relationship a secret? what reasons do we have? you're not ashamed of being with me, being with another guy?"

"Do you think your friends would approve of me more if they knew about us?" Draco inquired harshly, not waiting for an answer. "No, they wouldn't! they would despise me more! Don't you see?" he sighed and continued in a softer voice. "I'm the nasty slytherin that worked myself into your mind and stole you from them."

"You didn't steal me." Harry said. "They chose each other over me and I was left behind, with you."

"What? so I'm your second choice?" Draco snapped and a look of realization hit him. "Who would you choose?" he asked seriously. "Your friends or me? if you had to pick" Harry blinked in shock, who would he pick? his friends that had been there for him all along or Draco who made him feel more alive than he had done in years these last couple of months?

"I don't need to dignify that with an answer." Harry spoke coldly, crossing his arms over his chest in a gesture of withdrawing himself from Draco.

"What?" Draco asked mockingly. "Afraid I'm not going to like the answer?" There was something about that familiar taunting voice that made Harry furious.

"HOW CAN YOU JUST ASK ME TO CHOOSE?" he shouted angrily. "BETWEEN MY BEST FRIENDS AND.. you." he finnished lamely. If Harry had chosen Ron and Hermione over Draco, would there still been that emptiness between them? would Harry just end up being alone? the answer should've been obvious, anyone would have told him that friends last forever, partners come and go. But he was just too much in love to think straight.

"I'm not asking you to choose." Draco stated calmly, clearly irritated. "I just want to know if the only reason you spend time with me is because your friends are too busy with each other to care about you." Harry felt as if he had been slapped across the face, he had always thought that Ron and Hermione were ignoring his friendship, but having it said out in the open made it seem so real.

"Well I don't!" he answered. "I just think that it would be nice for us to be together in the open, it would make things easier."

Draco shook his head. "Trust me, it wouldn't. People would never accept it, they would try to take you away from me. Your friends would be furious, they would hate it!"

"No." Harry whispered, feeling tired and defeated. "They would be happy for me, even if it was you. They could never hate me." He wanted to believe those words.

"It's not you they would hate." Draco said simply. "It's me! and they would do all they could to get you to realize that I am no good for you. Aren't things between us good without the outside pressure?" Harry let out a small sigh and had to keep himself from sinking down to the floor, it felt like Draco was against him on everything, it made him weak. He needed the support.

"Fine." He said, hurt and annoyed. "Of course Harry Potter could never have a real relationship."

"Just because it's a secret it doesn't mean that it's not real!" Draco snapped angrily. "I never say things I don't mean and I never do things I don't wanna do." He stopped himself and gave Harry a penetrating look. "You're the most real thing that has happened to me in a very long time and I'd hate if someone came to ruin it." Harry took a step closer to Draco.

"Really?" He asked, looking up into those silver eyes. Draco reached out his arms and captured the small boy around the waist. The blond boy nodded and brushed away Harry's bangs slightly, revealing the lightening scar hidden beneath. He placed a chaste kiss upon it.

"You've got me sneaking around like a lovesick fool, saying sappy things like taken out of books, doing things wishing to impress and please you. You've touched my soul and warmed up my heart." Draco said into Harry's ear and at the last word, he gripped the smaller boy's hand in his and guided them both against his chest where they could feel the even beating of his own heart. "It beats for you." he then whispered simply and felt Harry melt in his arms.

"You're right." Harry whispered back. "I don't want to share this with anyone, it's ours." Draco smiled against Harry's neck and began tracing kisses along the nape tenderly. The gryffindor let his eyes flutter closed and tilted his head to the side to give Draco more room. He felt himself being guided backwards with the warm lips still caressing his sensitive skin and soon he was pressed against a hard wall.

Pure desire laced through them, pulling each other closer and closer.

Draco put more of his weight into the slight boy and traced a warm hand under his shirt, getting a small shiver in response. He kissed, licked and nibbled his way up to Harry's lips and attacked them fircely, causing both of them to moan loudly in each other's mouths. Harry had a hard time keeping up with Draco's eager tongue so he simply followed the taller boy's lead, submitting to his touch.

Draco's hand on Harry's chest started playing with the semi-hard nipples, making the dark haired boy whimper and moan again. Draco smirked against Harry's lips and felt the nipples harden to the point that it hurt under his touch. He loved how he could tune Harry like an instrument, how every well-placed touch brought sounds of pleasure of out his mouth just like music to Draco's ears.

Both of the boys were starting to heat up, their skins warm and some parts sweaty. The clothes felt uncomfortably stuck to the skin and both had the same urge -_ need_ - to get them off as soon as possible. Draco quickly started to button up Harry's robes and pulled him away from the wall only a second so he could slip the piece of fabric off to the floor. He was surprised to notice that his own robes had also been unbuttoned and was hanging off his shoulder. He quickly shook them off and desperately kissed Harry, pressing their still clothed bodies close and rubbing their lower parts together, not seeming to rub any sweet spots just yet.

Draco, being the more experienced and daring one, slipped one of his legs between Harry's so that his knee was directed just bellow the smaller boy's crotch. He then continued with raising said leg by keeping his foot in a tip-toeing position. Harry moaned louder than ever and arched his neck as he felt the hard part of Draco's knee press into his balls and lower part of his semi-erection. Being the shorter one of the two, Harry was now completely resing on Draco's leg. His feet weren't even touching the ground anymore. His weight was pressing him down onto Draco's knee and the way that said blond was rubbing against him was causing the most amazing friction that left Harry in a whimpering and groaning mess.

He felt his hips starting to move on it's own accord, joining the rhytme that Draco had set. The way that the slytherin's knee was position to hit right on all the sweet parts soon made him feel something inside of him starting to build up. His body was shuddering by the waves of pleasure shooting through him and due to the fact that he was feeling this intense feeling for the first time, he was unable to support himself on his own and was leaning his head against Draco's neck, moaning against the soft skin beneath his lips. The slytherin pressed Harry into the wall and kissed him deeply making the shorter boy's skin feel as it was on fire.

He soon felt something inside of himself burst in pleasure and blinking stars started to cloud his vision as he started moaning uncontrollably to the point where he couldn't stop himself from screaming. His body arched itself backwards ever more into the wall and his eyes rolled back into his head. Draco pressed himself closer, rubbing his knee against Harry's parts faster and harder. The gryffindor felt himself release into his underwear, not giving it a second thought, just riding out every last bit as the pleasure convulsed through him. When finally the last wave of pleasure flooded him and left him in a silent scream, his body sagged against Draco. His mind was left numb and dizzy. He barely registerd as Draco let him sink down to the floor slowly so that he was sitting and leaning against the wall.

Harry was breathing heavily and he was aware of how sweaty he had suddenly gotten. Gathering himself up for a second he noticed Draco's smirk through slightly cloudy eyes. Harry smiled in daze and kissed the blond gently on the lips before leaning back again as he started feeling dizzy once more. It had felt so incredibly good, nothing had ever felt like that before. Now he was out of energy, dazed, his penis was limp and feeling a little sensitive.

"Nothing." he said quickly. Harry caught a glimpse of the bulge in the slytherins pants and knew enough to know that he hadn't been satisfied yet. He didn't know much about sexual things due to the fact that the Dursley's had never taken time to teach him about it, most basic stuff about life in general he had been taught at muggle school or he had caught up things that children had asked their own parents but when it came to sex he didn't know much. It wasn't exactly the things parents told their kids out in public for anyone to hear and he hadn't reached the grade in muggle school when they were taught about it. Hogwarts certainly didn't teach out these stuff.

Harry kissed Draco on the lips again and pushed him down so that he was lying on the floor. The slytherin gave him a curious look, clearly surprised over Harry's initiative. Said gryffindor, determined to return Draco the favour, pushed away his own emotions and tried to focus on his boyfriend. He slowly started to unbutton Draco's white shirt and when he was done he pushed aside the fabric, exposing Draco's toned torso.

Harry stopped for a second, just drinking in the sight in front of him. Under Draco's slim neck and broad shoulders his pale chest was toned with well defined muscles that begged for attention, _his _attention.The sheer masculine beauty that Draco seemed to radiate was enticing Harry in every way possible. He stared deeply, memorizing every well-shaped muscle, the lean stomach, the defined hipbones and the teasing trail of light hair that went from Draco's bellybutton and disappeared beneath his pants.

Harry bent his head down and placed a chaste kiss on the pale skin, simply to get the taste of it. The skin was warm and soft under his lips, like pure velvet. The enticing smell was like nothing he had ever gotten a taste of before, a masculine scent that seduced all of his senses. Feeling addicted already, Harry continued to place small kisses on Draco's chest. The soft skin against his lips and the luring scent he was inhaling was encouraging him to new depths. He noted that his position by Draco's side made it hard for him to reach properly so Harry gently straddled the taller boy's hips, feeling his bulge beneath himself inbetween his inner thighs.

The gryffindor placed both of his hands on Draco's flat stomach and pushed them upwards in a rough caress. When he reached Draco's chest he started by taking his time and simply feeling his _boyfriend_, feeling the softness of his skin and tracing the hard muscles. Draco was staring up at him with lust clouded dark grey eyes and Harry was taken back by the intensity. He felt himself getting encouraged and started to caress Draco's perky nipples with his hands, taking pleasure in seeing his boyfriend's eyelids flutter slightly.

Harry, getting even more daring, bent his head down and placed a soft kiss on Draco's flat stomach, right next to his bellybutton. He worked his way up with gentle butterfly kisses all over the slytherin's torso before he reached one of the pink nipples. He kissed the tip once first before taking it between his lips and started to use his lips, tongue and teeth to pleasure Draco. Harry bit down gently and smiled as he heard the blonde boy gasp and groan.

When Harry felt done with that nipple, he trailed over to the other one and did the same thing with that one. Draco had now slowly started to buck his hips upwards, the bulge of his pants digging into Harry's innerthighs every now and then. The gryffindor started moving his hips too, meeting Draco halfway and causing an amazing fraction for the teen who was still in need for release. Draco placed his hands on Harry's hips and pushed him down, griding into the boy on top of him slowly and letting out a groan of pleasure.

The gryffindor trailed his tongue down Draco's chest, reached his lean stomach and started to place small kisses around his belly button. He could practically feel Draco's mixed pleasure and frustration and decided that it was time to return the favour for real. With somewhat shaking fingers and a great lump in his throat, Harry started to unbutton Draco's pants slowly. He looked up quickly and saw the slytherin staring down at him from his position on the floor. Harry looked away, for some reason feeling ashamed under Draco's cloudy gaze all of a sudden.

The gryffindor pulled down the zipper slowly, the sound seemed to echo in the quiet room and for a second it was the only thing that was heard. Not even the sounds of clothes getting shuffled or Draco's slow breathing, heck, he couldn't even hear his own thoughts. In a slow but effective motion, Harry yanked down Draco's pants, the boxers sliding down his hip somewhat as well.

Harry took a deep breath and slid his fingers beneath the waistband of Draco's underwear. His heart skipped a beat and he pulled back harshly as a loud noise was heard from the corridors. Draco pushed himself up to his elbows and stared at the door. After a few seconds had passed he shot Harry a quick look.

"Maybe we should go." he said. Harry nodded and watched Draco pull up his pants with a slight grimace. He felt a little bit guilty but still relieved, he had saved himself from embarrassing himself. He had no experience and honestly in the heat of the moment with Draco's pants around his ankles, his mind had gone numb and he would not have known what to do.

They fixed their clothes in silence, Harry quietly wondering what Draco was thinking. He must have been disappointed, after all, who wouldn't have been? Fully clothed in thick robes, Draco stepped up in front of Harry and grabbed both of his hands loosely.

"We'll have to do this another time." he whispered and placed a chaste kiss on Harry's lips. "Real soon" he added after pulling away. Harry smiled in a daze, melting under Draco's gaze. There was something about the way Draco had made him feel that made Harry so much more in love. He would never have thought that another human being could give him so much loving pleasure.

* * *

Damon was once again very pissed off. He slammed his fists into the hard stone wall and let out a choked growl. Continuing down the corridor he didn't notice, in his fury, the big armor standing around the corner. So he rammed into it. He hit the floor with full force and the armor landed next to him in pieces. 

Things had not been going the way Damon had wanted them to do in the last couple of weeks and they certainly weren't getting any better.

"Damon!" A hushed voice rasped out. "What are you doing?" The dark haired slytherin stared up and met Justin's gray gaze.

"What the hell do you think I'm doing?" Damon snapped and got up on his feet, enjoying the fact that Justin took a caustious step backwards. Justin decided not to answer the question for his own good.

"I just saw blondie boy sneaking around in the corridors." he instead said carefully but got encouraged by Damon's intrested look. "What do you suppose he's up to?" he countinued eagerly. Damon let a smirk play on his lips before disappearing at the sound of a door opening slowly. He listened intently as small footsteps came in their direction.

Feeling his anger build up and this time mix with a crazed satisfaction, Damon took a few quick steps, turned around a corner and began moving towards the sound. When he thought about it, Draco Malfoy could be blamed for a lot of things that had went wrong lately. That traitor simply couldn't mind his own buisness now could he. Damon heard Justin somewhere behind him but was more focused on the revenge he was going to get right now.

Damon's satisfaction disappeared at the sight of not Draco Malfoy but a dark haired gryffindor walking down the corridor. It didn't take long before it came back in full force. With a big smirk and a swift motion, Damon forcefully slammed Harry against the wall.

"Hello Potter." He said and laughed despite the anger that he had felt only seconds later.

"Get off me." Harry spoke calmly, not resisting against Damon's harsh grip. Said slytherin leaned in and let out a laugh against the side of Harry's face.

"I think not." he whispered, his breathing hot against the gryffindor's cheek. Damon could feel Harry's anger building up and simply smirked as the smaller boy began to fight against his grip.

"I mean it!" He cried out, his back arching off the wall in an attempt to free himself. Damon pressed himself against Harry's body, making it impossible for him to move an inch. He still felt the gryffindor's wrists squirming in his grip, but it didn't take Damon any effort to keep them under control. He forcefully pressed them into the hard wall and squeezed tightly around them, smirking as Harry let out a whimper in pain and defeat. Damon felt the gryffindor slump back into the wall completely.

"What do you want from me?" he inquired with a glare despite the brusing grip around his wrists. Damon didn't answer, instead let his face ghost over Harry's neck sending disgusted shills down the gryffindor's spine.

"Let go off me" Harry repeated shakily even though he had fully lost hope that Damon would listen. The slytherin laughed against Harry's neck and snapped his head up. Their gazes met and Harry couldn't help but feel concerned about the crazed look Damon had in his eyes. Damon's nails started digging into Harry's wrists and the hard wall was bruising his back. Starting to feel desperate at the loss of control he had in the situation, Harry started to feel smaller and smaller. With another desperate try to get free Harry tried to get his magic to save him while flailing with his arms under Damon's grip.

Feeling his magic build up, Harry glared at Damon who let a smirk grace his lips. The slytherin seemed to freeze for a moment before his eyes widened in shock. Only half a second later, Harry felt his body go numb and soon it felt as if he was getting pressed through a thin tub. The walls were pressed tightly against him and he couldn't breathe, he started to get dizzy from the lack of oxygen. His vision blurred up and exploaded in dark colors and blurry shapes. He heard voices, hushed mumblings. They started to get louder and clearer, the shapes also started to clear up, looking more and more like human beings. It was hard to focus on whatever was going on due to the remaining nausea and the fact that Harry's head started to throb painfully.

Before he could make out the scene in front of him the colors and the shapes changed. Like tuning the sound on the radio, voices got louder before cracking and fading away. Small cloudy spots played at the edges of Harry's eyes, but the scene in front of him got clearer than ever before. He could clearly make out a shabby looking room and two people in the middle of it. Harry's head was now pounding forcefully but he ignored it, intent on finding out what was going on. A sudden loud scream cut through the air, a baby scream.

"_SHUT UP!" another shriek was heard. Raspy and awfully loud. It belonged to a female. Harry's senses began to kick in, the familiar smell of alchohol and smoke invaded him. A deep fury crawled around him and swept around his heart like a poison. Harry could now make out the shapes in front of him, one was Damon maybe a year or two younger although still as intimidating looking as usual. The other one was a woman with tatty, long black hair only dressed in panties and nothing more. Though she didn't look bothered by the way her body was displayed for anybody to see. She looked to be around fourty years old judging by the slightly wrinkled face and the body that was somewhat sagged, due to a lot of alchohol probably. Her body had bruises littered over some places Harry noticed._

_"YOU MAKE HIM SHUT UP!" Damon roared wildly, Harry felt his searing anger and it took over him completely._

_"DON'T TALK TO YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY" The woman shrieked back, just as angry as her son. Her voice was slurred and for the first time Harry noted that the floor was littered with empty beer cans and whisky bottles. The woman, with all her force, slapped the taller boy in the face. Damon didn't seem physically effected by the blow and without hesitation he landed a much harder blow to the woman's face causing her to fall to the dirty floor. Her legs were spread shamelessly and she didn't make an effort to get up or change position._

_"YOU BASTARD, WAIT UNTILL YOUR STEPFATHER HERS ABOUT THIS!" she raged on madly, the baby was still screaming in the background. "SHUT UP!" she continued, turning in the direction of a small crib. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Harry felt the anger of Damon reaching it's peek and with a stab of despair against his heart he watched the slytherin walk over to the crib._

_A mix of Damon's anger and Harry's own despair was enough to make him feel as if his eyes were tearing up, if he even had eyes. He simply felt like a part of the surroundings, like air. Damon furiously lifted up the infant by it's shoulder. The small boy's face had gone red due to all the screaming and his head fell back with no support of the weak neck._

_"SHUT UP!" Damon roared as the baby's screaming got louder due to the pain. Harry felt his heart break as Damon lost control and started shaking the baby forcefully, the head snapping back and forth wildly untill Damon finally stopped. The baby had gone silent and the head was hanging to the side, the body limp and the chubby fingers uncurled. With the earie silence in the room, Harry knew that the baby was dead. Damon let go off the infant and it fell into the crib with a thud._

_The woman on the floor started screaming in anger. Damon turned around with no remorse and left the room, barely getting missed by a whiskey bottle flying across the room and smashing into the wall, successfully breaking into a million pieces._

All the emotions were overflowing Harry, the anger, the heartache, the pain in his head that now was boarding on impossible to deal with. Scenes were flashing in front of him but he didn't register anything, he was drained and the pain was blinding him. Feeling once again something pressing around him he was pulled back into reality.

He was coldsweating and breating heavily, blinking to get the spots in front of his eyes to disappear. Someone invading your mind was excrucating but Harry had no idea that being the invader was so rough. Apperantly he was the one who was suffering the most from it, Damon was simply looking disoriented and very, very angry.

He let go of Harry with one hand to land a blow against the side of his face. The gryffindor let out a painful groan and felt himself go limp against the wall. Harry started feeling really scared now after watching what Damon was really capable of.

"I will fucking kill you!" Damon hissed in Harry's ear and covered the smaller boy's mouth with his own. It was hard, bruising and painful. The bigger boy forced his tongue in through Harry's lips despite the emerald eyed boys vain attempts to get free. His eyes widened as he felt Damon's cold hand against his throat, pressing tightly around it. He felt Damon smile against his lips and continued with the intrustion, successfully smothering Harry's attempts to call for help. The smaller boy clawed at the hands around his throat desperately as he started to get light-headed. He tried to shout out but the only thing that escaped him was a choked whimper.

Damon bit harshly down on Harry's lower lip, making him bleed then lapping up the blood with his tongue. Harry winced and his vision started to blur. Was he going to die? He desperately lashed out, landing fist after fist against Damon's head. With the lack of oxygen draining his energy away he only sucedeed in tearing up a lash on Damon's right cheek before darkness overtook him.


End file.
